Строить отношения позитивно (2012, Гамбург), занятие 2

[Speaker 2]
Yes, and of course, a very, very, very, very big thank you to Gershwin Michael Roach, who makes everything possible and who bravely travels the world to share our great knowledge with us. A knowledge that helps us to solve our problems in everyday life. Yesterday, we dealt with the fourth level of a 12-hour program, the topic of relationships.

Gershwin Michael Roach believes in a perfect world. He believes that we can create or create this perfect world together. He further believes that this perfect world begins and ends with the perfect relationship, the deep understanding of the karma of love.

Okay, then I would like to say that Gershwin Michael will give a brief summary of what happened yesterday, so that we can all get started again. And then we will listen very curiously to the second part of his speech. And I would like to welcome you together, Gershwin Michael Roach, again tonight.

Welcome. We wish you a pleasant evening, perhaps with many small and big achievements and good attention.

[Speaker 1]
Hi, thank you for coming. Then I would like to repeat a little bit of what we did last night. Maybe some people didn't come last night.

Yesterday we talked about a new way to find a partner. It could be a partner in a relationship. It could be how to make a good relationship at work or something.

But we were talking about a new way to find a partner. And we were talking about planting a new partner. In this system, you don't look for a new partner.

You create one. I think a lot of us, we are afraid to have a partner. You know, a lot of monks and nuns, Buddhist monks and nuns, you ask them, why did you become a monk or a nun?

Then they speak honestly. And they say, I tried to have a relationship. I tried three or four times.

Then I had a really powerful relationship. And then it fell apart. And it hurt me.

And I decided that Buddhism is correct. Because Buddhism says, it's impossible to have a good relationship. Everything is impermanent.

All things will fall apart. And they don't understand Buddhism. Yesterday, we told a story about how a Buddha became a Buddha.

And in the final night, before he became a Buddha, he started to practice with his partner. All of the other Buddhas of the universe came to him. And they said, you are an obstacle to enlightenment.

You cannot become enlightened without the female energy. And a woman Buddha cannot become a Buddha without the energy of the man. So in the deeper teachings of Buddhism, to have a partner is very important for your spiritual fulfillment.

The man is lacking some energy. And needs the energy of a woman. The woman also lacks the energy of the man.

And in the deepest teachings of Buddhism, you need to have a partner. This is like a mythical partner. In Buddha's life, that partner's name was Tilok Dhamma.

And their relationship is like a miracle to me. I like to think like a Dante and a Tetris. Like some very beautiful, epic relationship.

It becomes almost like a great epic. And it is a dharma which saves the world. It's a romance which saves the world.

And this is how we are trained. We are trained how to find their kind of partner. I think everybody in the world would like to have a partner.

Deep down, we think, I should have a partnership which helps the whole world. It should be an epic romance. And by our love, we should save the world.

Everybody deep down, they want that. But all of us, we had some failures. We tried to have a relationship.

Didn't work. Then many people become bitter. And discouraged.

And they think, well, it's not possible to have a relationship. It will always fail. In time, the husband and wife start to fight.

And then slowly it collapses. In this training, Diamond Cutter Training, two and a half thousand years old, it's not true that a relationship should follow one. And it's not true that you can't find a perfect partner.

We believe, each person can find the ultimate partner. It doesn't matter your age. It doesn't matter what you look like.

It doesn't matter if you are a very shy person. You feel shy to talk to people. The system is very interesting.

I'm also very shy. Even when I was... before I became a monk, I can't go to the bike clubs.

First of all, I don't like the smoke. And it's too loud for me. But especially, I don't like to go to some ladies.

And would you like to dance? She goes like this. No.

I feel very hurt. Even for many years when I was young, I feel nervous to try to find a partner. It's so dangerous.

It's so easy to break your heart. So, we start to avoid it. And many people, they give up when they are 30 or 40 years old.

And they say, I will never find a good partner. Or they get married. After five years, the partnership is not happy.

But they are afraid to leave. And they sit quietly in a relationship which is not perfect for the rest of their life. They are not really happy.

Not really unhappy, but not really happy. In this system, that's all finished. Just plant a partner.

And if your partner is not perfect, plant the seeds to make them perfect. If you don't have a partner, if you are afraid to have a partner, if you got hurt before, then try this system. It's a new system.

For anybody. It's never too late in your life. This is a very gentle system.

You just plant it. Plant the partner. Then your partner comes to you.

You don't have to go to nightclubs. You don't have to approach people. Would you like to dance?

No. Then you don't have this danger. You feel hurt.

In this system, you just plant the seed. Then you relax. Someone will come.

Maybe in the grocery store. You will go to aisle three, and you are alone. Hello.

It's like a magic. You just plant the seed. They all come.

They all come. How to plant the seed? Why does this system work?

Then I will quickly begin from yesterday. If you saw this five hundred times, you can sleep for the next five minutes. I'll ask you a quick question.

This will be painless and short. What is this thing here? I don't understand.

It's a small puppy. I show them this thing here. What do they do with it?

Do they see it as a man? No. They see it as a toy.

Who is correct, the human or the dog? Both. Democracy.

If I put the pen here, all the dogs come out. All the people come out. Which one is it?

Is it a pen or a toy? Neither. Everything in the world is neither.

Everything in the world is the same. By itself. It is not what it is.

It is not a pen by itself. It is not talking to me. It's not saying that.

If I see a pen, it's because of vibrancy. If I see a toy, then I'm a dog. Then I'm a dog.

It's coming from me. Boyfriend. New partner.

New girlfriend. Everything in the world is the same. Everything is coming from me.

Just plant the seed. For a partner. How to plant the seed?

What you want. So, if you want money, help somebody else to make money. If you want a boyfriend, help somebody else to get a boyfriend.

That plants the seed. Then you must take good care of the seed. There is boyfriend agricultural technique.

It's a good thing. You must understand. It's not enough to plant the seed.

If I have a good water garden seed, I put it here. In what way? The conditions must be correct.

If you're going to plant your new partner, or if you're going to fix your current partner, that's called partner upgrade technique. You have to know how to take care of the seed. It's not enough to plant the seed.

What we're going to teach you, how to take care of the seed, they will grow fast. And they will grow good. Why do I say good?

It's not enough to plant a partner. Sometimes you can plant a partner, but it's a bad partner. Then, when you came in tonight, we asked you to make a check.

There were ten different qualities to a partner. From light-minded, to faithful, compassionate. In America, very important, they should have a job.

Then you can check which things you want. So we have an election. Is it ready?

We have results. We have the top three qualities. Then we would like to do a meditation on that.

There are ten teachers who came to me. They come from many countries. They are helping me to teach this seminar as we can.

Then one of them will lead us in the meditation. How to plant a seed. To make your partner have the right qualities.

So I would like to welcome Catherine Warren. If you would be careful. How to plant a partner.

I would like to do it again. This is the practical part. If you really want to try the system, you have to know these four steps.

These are metal seed farming techniques. Many people believe in karma. They say, if you want to have money, you should give money.

But then they have a problem. They say, oh, my aunt. She's a very generous person.

She's always giving money to other people. She didn't make 100 million dollars. Actually, she gave away all her money.

Now she doesn't have anything. It's possible we will have this thought. You're Michael.

You say you made a 250 million dollar company. Without any business dream. You say, just plant the seed.

Help somebody else to make money. But my aunt. She's always helping other people.

And she's more broken than me. Because she's helping other people. Then we can have this thought.

Geshe Michael. How do you answer this? Then I'll say, in the world, there are many people who are making the right seed.

I met in Zurich. Three days ago. One businessman.

He gave an introduction for me. He came to me maybe 70 years ago. In New York.

He owns a big company. It's a hair shampoo. Very popular in the United States.

He said, I have a problem. I said, what's the problem? I only made 10 million dollars.

I want to make 50 million dollars. And I want to retire. Can you help me?

Yeah, I can help you. You must help other people to make more money. Then he said, I'm already doing that.

My whole life. I have an instinct to help other people to become successful. Then I said, so you are planting the right seed.

Your whole life. You are making the right seed. So you got 10 million.

But you don't understand the process. It's just instinct for you. You like to give.

But you don't know what you're doing. It's not conscious enough. You don't know the fourth path.

You don't know the fourth path. Then I taught him the fourth path. And he's very strange, right?

He actually did what I asked him to do. He made his company 50 million. He sold it to Estella Merkel.

He moved to Geneva. He has a beautiful house in Geneva. So I didn't see him after that.

Then I went to Zürich last weekend. And he gave it to Naqi Tartar. So many people, they feel in their heart what I want.

I should help other people to do that. This is the basis of all religion. Jesus said, you shall reap what you plant.

Treat others as you would like people to treat you. Those principles we have. But we don't have the details.

We don't have the technique. So now I have to show you the technique. Four steps.

If you are serious. If you really want to partner. You should write it down.

There are four steps. Or if you want to fix your partner. Partner upgrade technique.

Try it. You should spend your life without a partner. If there is a new way.

Which is gentle. You just plant the seed. Relax.

He or she will come to you. If there is a system like that. You should try it.

You shouldn't spend your whole life alone. Also if you already have a partner. Already have a certain one.

Do you love your husband? Yes. Is he perfect?

75%. Make him 100%. I'm going to teach you now four steps.

Try it. Make your husband 100%. Don't give up on love.

Find him. Plant him. And he will come into the group.

So here are four steps. Please write it down. It makes me happy to see him.

It makes me really happy. I was in Bulgaria last year. There was a woman.

She wanted to find a partner. Then she came to our place in Barcelona. We have a university there.

It's a free university. So after six months she came. And I was very surprised.

I know you. Where did I meet you? See, I meet thousands of people.

I can't remember where I met them. You are from Europe. Yes.

Which city? Sofia. Why did you come to Barcelona?

She said, I just want to thank you. I planted the boyfriend. I caught him.

She showed the pictures. Then she said, goodbye. So, it makes me really happy to see those photographs.

So you should try. Don't say it's impossible. In this system you can make the impossible things possible.

Step number one. What do you want? One sentence.

I want a passionate partner. I want a passionate partner. Step number one.

Step number two. Make a plan. Step number two is a plan.

What's a plan? You cannot plant a seed by yourself. You must find somebody else.

And you must plant a seed with them. It's not possible to plant a seed. We are having a moral fight.

It's not possible to plant a seed. By yourself. You must find a person in your life who also wants the same thing.

That's step number two. Find a person who wants the same thing. So, you have to find someone who is lonely.

You must find a partner who is very lonely. Then you can think about it. Look in my hand.

Buddha's hand. Every second that you see about a plan to help a lonely person. You make 60 faces.

Every second. 60 faces. So, just plan.

Oh, I know. There's a lonely woman in the nursing home. Her children never go to visit her.

Then I will go. On Friday. I will go to visit her.

I will tell her some flowers. We did that by Buddha, Batman. She did that by fashion yesterday.

Just, in English we call it fantasize. Daydream. It doesn't have to be like this.

In the high school when you are thinking about your boyfriend. You are not like this. You are like this.

My God, just have fun. Step number two. I will go to the nursing home.

I will tell her some nice flowers. I have my own baby. 20 years.

I have been having it for 20 years. Last night, Buddha did what? Her mother did a big box of special chocolates.

From Berlin. So, I did it all day. Why?

I am saving for my own baby in America. When we land in the airport. First thing, I will go to her house.

Look, I have lemon chocolate. She is like, oh, nice. When I come to her house, she is always like this.

Which country did you go to? What nice chocolate did they have? Then I am always surprised when I look.

Wow, new chocolate. And she always pretends to be surprised. I keep planting the seeds.

20 years. Even now, today. I am planting for next week.

Like that. Take a chocolate. She will be so happy.

Special lemon chocolate. You cannot buy it on the internet. She will be happy.

That's step number two. This baby, it plants a lot of seeds. That's the difference between this system and your land.

Consciously. Fantasize. Plant extra seeds.

Before you go to help the old woman, you already planted thousands of seeds. Please understand. It's a secret.

Also money. We are at level four. It's not about money.

At level one you can learn. We finished it. If you didn't do level one, we have to talk to the other.

Sylvia, they live in Hamburg. They can take you home. If you live in Paris, we also have some people there.

Let's just say the principle. Like that. I won't give some money.

My friend wants to make a business. I will help him. Fantasize.

That's step number two. Fantasy plant. Big secret.

It makes the difference. The seed will grow fast. That's step number two.

Step number three. Go to the nursing home. Step number three is action.

Step number one. Sentence. What do you want?

Step number two. Plan. Fantasy.

Fantasy. Step number three. Action.

Go to the nursing home. Somebody asked me. I want to have a good husband for the rest of my life.

How often do I have to go to the nursing home? Is it one to one? It's not.

Why? Seeds are small. Trees are big.

Seeds are very powerful. Mental seeds are more powerful. They double in power every 24 hours.

Very powerful. One month is very powerful. A million times.

So, visit her once every two weeks. Spend one hour. Listen to her stories.

Oh, in 1945, in the high school, I had the most beautiful boy in the whole high school. Then you have to say, Oh, really? You have to be interested.

Actually, if you listen carefully, you can learn a lot. Two weeks later, go to visit her again. What's new?

I was thinking. About what? 1945.

My boyfriend was beautiful. She will tell you the same story again. Then you have to be interested.

Make her happy. Step number three. At the nursing home.

Visit her. You don't have to go every day. Go once a week.

Go every two weeks. We have a project in my place in Arizona. We go to the prison.

And we teach meditation. We teach yoga. We teach business.

We teach relationships. When they come out, they are very successful. Then we go every week or every two weeks.

But we make a commitment. Keep it. It's very important.

Step number three. Make a commitment. And keep it.

Be predictable. Don't make your commitment too big. Make a small commitment.

I will visit you every two weeks. And then keep it. Prisoners, people in the nursing homes, birds that you feed, they lack regularity.

Predictable. This is step number three. What's step number four?

We're going to do that with Ula at the end. So I don't have to do it. I'll just do it shortly.

Step number four. After you visit the old lady, come home, cook your dinner, have your dinner, clean up. You can do a little bit of emails or watch a little movie.

Take a bath. Change into your night clothes. Then lie down on your bed.

You don't have to go like this. Just lie down on your bed. Then, today, I went to the nursing home.

I met her. She was so happy. She was so happy.

I took her some flowers. I took her a brilliant chocolate. She was so happy.

She smiled. I remember. Then you fall asleep.

This is very powerful. If you think about happy things before you sleep, if you think about the good things which you did before you sleep, the mind will process those seeds again and again while you're asleep. You can make 65 seeds per second all night.

Whole night. In the Buddhism we call Milang Kimdantra. Milang Kimdantra.

It means dream yoga. Many people came to me. Tell me about dream yoga.

This is real dream yoga. Before you sleep, think about the good things you did. For the old woman.

Then fall asleep. Your mind will think about it the whole night. 65 seeds per second the whole night.

Then you wake up happy. We are not like that. Before we go to sleep, oh, my wife said I hate my ex-boyfriend.

He said that 10 years ago. He already forgot what he said. You are still meditating.

It stays in your mind. Then you don't sleep well. So many people take the time just to sleep.

You don't have to do that. Just stand on the floor. Think about the good things which you did today.

Sleep comes very beautifully. You feel happy. I want to show you how we study in the monastery.

How we learn something in the monastery. Every day, 3 or 4 hours argument, debate, mixed with karate. Really.

So I thought you should have some fun. We will show how we do it. After that, I will bring all the teachers up here for like 20 minutes.

And then you'll have to ask them tough questions from your chair. You have to ask them some questions. About?

How to find a partner? How to find a partner? So I want to get good questions from Germany.

So start thinking now. Some tough questions for the coaches. But right now, I'm going to show you something big.

There's a question. This morning, you said to get a boyfriend or girlfriend I need to learn how to plant a seed. How?

You have to go to a nursing home. Help the old woman. That puts a seed in your mind.

Then new partner will come. Then you have to debate with me. You should ask me tough questions.

That's selfish. You are helping people because you want something. You are not helping from your heart.

Just like a business. I will help you if I get something. I will give you money if I get more money.

Your system is very selfish. They are going to forget it. Consider this.

Boyfriends come from nightclubs. That's not true. So you can't get a boyfriend by going to a nightclub?

That's absolutely not the cause of a boyfriend. So my friend Patricia didn't get a boyfriend by going to a nightclub. My friend Patricia didn't get a boyfriend by going to a nightclub.

So going to a boyfriend or going to a nightclub isn't the cause of a boyfriend. That's what I said. So there must be some other cause to get a boyfriend than going to a nightclub.

There must be some other cause than going to a nightclub to get a boyfriend. I guess wearing sexy clothes is the way to get a boyfriend. Well, it's not always the case that everyone who wears sexy clothes will always get a boyfriend.

So there must be some other cause to get a boyfriend. Right.

[Speaker 2]
And no one in this room can tell me what that cause is. I bet they all could.

[Speaker 1]
Alright, so no one sitting in front of me dressed in red can tell me what the cause is. That's not true either. Oh, so someone sitting in front of me dressed in red can tell me the cause of a boyfriend.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah. Stop! If you want to get a boyfriend you have to take care of some lonely person.

You have to plant a boyfriend seed.

[Speaker 1]
A good way to do it would be to go to a nursing home, spend some time with an old person and that will plant a boyfriend seed. Okay, let me get this straight. So if I want a boyfriend, I have to plant a boyfriend seed?

And that boyfriend seed is going to a nursing home to take care of an old lady. You have to do something similar to what you want to have. Give it to someone else.

[Speaker 2]
If you're lonely then you have to go take care of someone who's lonely.

[Speaker 1]
Okay, so just by taking care of a lonely person, I'm going to get a great boyfriend. You will create a cause to get a great boyfriend. Are you excited?

I've never seen her before. Okay, so you believe that the way to get a boyfriend is by planting a boyfriend seed. And the seed for that boyfriend is taking her lonely.

Okay, so all I have to do is go out and grab an old lady and take care of her and I'm going to get everything that I want. Oh, so something else could happen to me other than getting a boyfriend if I take care of a lonely lady? Oh, and no one could tell me what that is.

No, that's incorrect. If you're nice to me. So you go to do something for the lonely person and you plant two seeds.

And if you only do it for yourself and you're planting a seed for the boyfriend to come back then I guess I'm not selfish.

[Speaker 2]
So if I don't take care of the lady and all I'm thinking about is my boyfriend I'm going to create a selfish boyfriend?

[Speaker 1]
You're incorrect. And I guess there's no other thing you can do but create selfish boyfriends because that's the only way that you create a boyfriend is by taking care of an old lady. I didn't say anything like that.

So there's some other kind of boyfriend that I can create by taking care of an old lady? You're incorrect. And no one can tell me how to create that kind of boyfriend.

[Speaker 2]
So you can't tell me how to create a good boyfriend who isn't selfish?

[Speaker 1]
Take notes. If, as I take care of the old person I think in my mind if I'm successful at this then other people are going to ask me why? Then I can tell them the way I got my boyfriend was by planting a good seed.

And then they might also try that. So the way for me to get a boyfriend is taking care of an old lady and having some bigger picture in my head about the whole world? That's right.

And this idea will spread like a virus. Yes. So now we're going to ask a question.

But I want to review what just happened. If you help an old person because you want a partner and you don't have any noble thought you will get a partner and they will be selfish. Or if you give money because you want to get money but your intention is selfish.

You will get money but you will be surrounded by selfish people. So it's very important when you use this if I become successful many people will ask it happened to me I don't know anything about business I planted a good seed. Our company is the fastest growing company in the history of Europe.

How to make money like that? Then I said, sure, I'll do it. Then that book begins to spread.

Why did they ask me to write a book? Because the company is the fastest growing company in Europe. So in your mind when you help the old lady you have to have another motivation.

If I'm successful if I get a fantastic girlfriend or a fantastic boyfriend everybody will ask me five years you didn't have any present now you have this one. How did you get there? Which club did you go to?

What's the website? We had a debate yesterday. It's not a website.

It's not a club. I planted it. I just planted a seed.

Then I got it. He came to me. Then they will try it.

Then their friend will ask me how did you get it? It will spread like a virus. All over the world.

I've been nursing her. Yes, you can. We'll have a long line of young people waiting.

If she's available today we'll help her. She's busy. It will be like a dentist.

Come back tomorrow. Come back in six weeks. She's busy.

Too many people visiting. It's a beautiful world. It will be like that.

There won't be any lonely people left in the world. Have that vision. When you have the woman.

Then it's not selfish. It's compassion. It's ultimate compassion.

I want a world where everybody believes the only way to find love is to give it to another person. With that vision in your mind you will find a boyfriend. And he will be a very, very high spiritual person.

Okay? Then it's not selfish. We will answer some questions.

Ready? Questions. Sit.

When I want to have a partner I have a lonely lady. When that happens I have two lonely ladies. What happens if I have two lonely ladies?

What is the result? Two lonely ladies. It depends what you want.

If you want many ladies and you have many ladies then maybe you'll have many ladies. If you want something deeper and more layered within one woman then maybe the woman you have will have many layers. Next question.

Dear Geshe Michael, I don't accept the presentation of a pen. If or when I do not accept the presentation the way you present it does that mean the whole system does not work? I'm curious what part of the presentation you don't like.

We say that the system can work for anyone. The part of the presentation we don't like but we say that the system works for everyone. It's not a matter of liking but for me the story is not correct.

If I would turn the story around and give the dog a bone then I couldn't write with the bone. However, mine is good. The second aspect is that if I put the pen in the mouth of the dog while the pen is in the mouth of the dog then I can write with it.

It's a pen while it is in the mouth as a tool. If you manage to write with the pen while the pen is in the mouth of the dog then it's a pen. That's in my opinion the second proof that the story is not correct.

Even if the dog uses the pen as a tool it's still a pen because the purpose of the pen is to be a pen and to write with it. Even if the dog uses the pen as a tool it remains a pen because the nature of the pen is to be a pen. And if the dog is intelligent enough he can also write with it.

Let me go back to your first question because I think that's important. We get this question a lot usually from people who maybe practice some different religion. You know, if I am a Christian will this system still work for me?

And we say yes. Because we say in the same way for example if I hold a pen and I let go of it what will happen? It will fall to the floor.

And it doesn't matter if I am a Christian or not. Or if I believe in the pen or not. Gravity is going to affect the pen either way.

So we say the system is the same. Whether or not someone necessarily believes in all the parts of the system. Or I don't totally understand gravity.

I've actually been reading a lot of books by Einstein recently. And I have to admit I don't totally understand the theory of gravity. But if I drop the pen it will fall to the floor.

So we say the system is the same. That's why Geshe Michael is encouraging you to try it. Just try to help someone else.

For a period of time. See if you get something out. Then you are sort of philosophical quandaries.

The first one we would say that consensus is not a proof. If I could get everyone in this room to agree that this is a spoon. Does that make it a spoon?

No. So even if the dog agrees with me that this is a bone. That doesn't make it a bone.

What makes it a bone is that my mind sees it as a bone. The eye can only see color and shape. The eye can't actually see pen.

When your eye looks at this object all it sees is blue color and thin shape. So where does the idea of pen come from? It happens in the mind.

We say, unfortunately we are not in control of this process. Geshe Michael has a silly example. Everyone has to close their eyes and you think 100 dollar bill.

You have to concentrate very hard. 100 dollar bill. I hope it's going to work.

But so far it never has. So we say this is the proof that it's the seed that causes you to see the pen. And it's some seed that I planted before.

It's not anything I have control of in the world. And you say, okay, so then the dog he's just too dumb. Even if it's seeds making him see this as a chew toy he's just dumb and if he was smarter he would see the pen.

But if you say that then you're already a big loss. Because you're saying if the dog was smarter he would see a pen. Which means some pens depend upon the dog's ability to see.

And that's exactly what we say.

[Speaker 2]
I'm using the system for a while, right? I'm visiting the old lady and I feel her pain but I support her. I support her.

And I also got very good in protecting other people's relationship which is another seed. Well, I still don't have a partner. So what's my problem?

[Speaker 1]
I answer in German I answer in German because there's something in the English with German, right? Geshe Michael mentioned before his story with Buddha where in every moment we have 65 seeds. It can be that during a lifetime before you started to use these principles due to other actions you might get some kind of blockage and that you have to be you have a problem in your life.

And in this case the problem is something with your son. So the son is also coming from you. And the problem that your son has is also coming from you.

So you can phrase yourself in one sentence. What is it that you want to see change in your life? And try to find someone else who has the same problem.

So maybe you can take your friend to Starbucks. Because she sees some problems with her son. She has something with her son.

And you can help her. So this is the first answer. The second part of your question was what about my son?

I cannot teach him this wisdom. Because if this is someone that you can teach him about seeds this is the best answer I can give you. Teach him about seeds so they can sow their own.

But in the case of little child usually they don't do what you tell them to do. So they will do what they see you how do you act. So better you do your practice you plant the seeds.

Your child will watch you and he will try to imitate.