Углублённый курс ACI 03 — «Руководство к образу жизни бодхисаттвы» Мастера Шантидевы: обмен себя на других (2004, Нью-Йорк), занятие 10

[Говорящий 1]
I think we'll just start right now. Verse 168. And if I advise you thus, my mind, but you still refuse to do what I tell you, then I will simply put an end to you, since you are the root of every problem there is.

People have been asking in the afternoon classes, who's he, who's you, who's me, who's he talking to? And you're supposed to get confused, okay? Here he's talking to his own mind.

And the idea is, by this time in the chapter, you've already finished exchanging yourself and others, like you're really good at it, and now you're always putting yourself in other people's shoes, and you're very considerate, and you're always thinking of others. And then, what should you do? So he says, well, basically you should go around and take care of other people, and do what they want.

And I don't know if you were in the afternoon group, but then it said, don't do it like a nyadak. Nyadak means like a ball. And it's a case where the Tibetans translated the Sanskrit freely, and it's hard to figure out what it meant.

It's very difficult to figure out what it meant. The Sanskrit is not clear, the Tibetan is not too clear. Whatever joke it was a thousand years ago, it's like George Steinbrenner.

What's George Steinbrenner? Nobody knows a thousand years or not. So anyway, the commentaries say, do it with style.

And style means take care of other people, but make sure they don't catch you. And I read a thing in Dear Abby, okay? It was like 15 years ago.

And it said, do something nice for somebody today, and make sure they don't know you're doing it. And that's the beautiful, it's a beautiful way. So what they're talking about, the word in Sanskrit, mukhara here, also means mouth.

It means don't mouth it. Don't let people know you're doing it. You see, don't advertise it.

Just quietly, transparently, gracefully. If you're really good at this, then the other person won't notice that you're doing it for them. You know, like John Brady's good at this.

I don't know where he is, but anyway. Well, you just automatically, when you go to his house, you're getting your favorite food the whole time. And you're like, I can't believe he likes my favorite food, you know?

And he just figures it out, you know? And then the other day I was thinking, I don't have any idea what his favorite food is, you see? And it's like that, right?

So it should be done gracefully, anonymously, quietly, transparently. And they say like a new-wed bride. Now, this is not an American new-wed bride, okay?

This is an Asian new-wed bride, you know? And your husband's family would come on a horseback in Tibet, and they actually abduct the bride. That's a custom.

They will come on a horseback, like the night before, and sneak in the house and abduct the girl and take her to the husband's home. And even in Howell, when I was growing up in Howell, New Jersey, which is Kalmyk-Mongolian, that was still a custom. Meaning, once a lady has married a man, she would go to live with his family, and then she becomes the servant of the family.

And it's still... I worked with a lot of Chinese people in the diamond business, and a lot of my staff were Chinese, and they'd come to work like this, you know? And I'd say, what's wrong?

Why are you so exhausted? And they'd say, well, I'm the wife, and so I live with my husband's family. And I get home after a 12-hour day, and I'm expected to cook.

And all the other women have been sitting around, but because I'm the new wife, I'm expected to cook. Even if I get home at midnight, I'm expected to cook. So, this is the custom in Asia.

And the new wife is supposed to go to the husband's family and never complain. And people just boss her around, and she has to do everything. And that's how it was.

Good or bad, I don't know. I mean, I'm not saying that. I'm there saying, Master Shantideva is saying, you should be like that new wife.

You just smile, and cook, and wash the dishes, and then go to work the next day so you can pay for the groceries. Like that. You should be...

And people should never know that you're doing it. And in computers, they call it transparent. The program, if it's written well, it anticipates what you want, and it does it, and you never know it's doing it.

You don't have to push any extra buttons. It just does it for you. You see what I mean?

So, that's what transparent is. So, here what it says is, if you don't do what I tell you to do, mind my mind, if I catch you thinking about me, then I'm going to punish you. I'm going to cut you off.

Tsar che can mean to terminate somebody physically. Like the Republican, what's his name? Schwarzenegger.

No, I mean it can mean to terminate somebody. It can mean that. So, of course he's not saying here that you should stop thinking, or you stop your mind, or something like that.

It's not that at all. He's telling his mind, if I catch you thinking about yourself, if I catch you thinking about what I want, I'm going to hurt you. Every time I check in with my mind, I want to make sure that you're thinking about somebody else, what somebody else wants.

Okay? Next verse. In the past, you've ruined my entire life, but now these days are gone.

Those days are gone. I know you now. Where will you run?

It's time to smash your arrogance. This is like that lojong you guys studied it, Tsenche Khorlo, The Wheel of Knives. It's this nice, sweet little book about be nice to other people, and be a nice person, and help others.

Then at some time it goes, CHEN TSE CHEN, which is this dance that you do against demons. It's like CHEN TSE CHEN. This is like flipping a bird at the demons.

Now you go like this, and it means, I will destroy you. It's this thing in Tibetan. It's this ancient thing 1,000 years ago.

Still you see the dances in the monastery. They do this dance. It's like cutting off a demon.

It's like stopping a demon. The demon is taking care of me. The demon is thinking about what I want.

At some point in this book, he's almost finished. He's in the last few verses now. He says, ah, now I know who's the demon.

Now I know who's been ruining my life. Now I know who's made my life so hard. Now I caught you.

He's like, I caught you. Who? Taking care of me.

Watching out for me. Then he says, I will destroy you. It's this thing.

People, they draw demons with pitchforks, and tails, and red suits on, and things like that. But the real demon, the big devil, the devil is worrying about yourself first, and not taking care of other people. That devil, that has the power to take you to hell.

That has the power to make your whole life unhappy. You can go through a whole 50, 60 years of life before you figure it out, that that's what made you unhappy. Then you just wasted all those years.

People, you can't be happy if you're taking care of yourself first. If you're not a happy person now, it's because you're taking care of yourself. Either way, you can take it.

If you don't feel very happy now, if your life is not pretty happy, it has to be that. It has to be that. There's some subtle tendency, or not so subtle tendency, to take care of what you want first, and not watch out for what other people want.

Then you do this practice with your eyes. We talked about it the other day. This is a very simple practice.

You can do it for the rest of your life. You walk into a room. We said the other night, you can tell what a person is thinking by watching their eyes.

If a guy walks in the room and he's a shoe salesman, he's like this. No, really. I used to be in the diamond business.

I would get on the bus to New Jersey, two-hour trip. Then when I'm going down the aisle of the bus, I'm checking out everybody's engagement ring. Ladies are going like this.

Sometimes I lean over. Oh, wow. No, it's just because that's what your mind is on.

You can tell what a person is interested in, in about five minutes. Sit them down in your kitchen, and sit across from them, and you just watch their eyes. Because people look at the things in the room that are interesting to them.

My eyes would just go to... I would be down in New Jersey, and my eyes just go to the cookies on the table. I'm trying to talk to this somebody, but I'm like that.

Then they say, would you like a cookie or anything? I'm like, okay. You can tell people from their eyes.

The point here is that you reverse it. You use your eyes. When you enter a room, if you're with other people, you look around for the things in the room that they would like.

Your thermometer, your barometer of how you're doing. You want to know if you're doing good at this practice or not. How's your eyes?

Have your eyes, are they looking at the things in this room that you could use to help somebody else? You see what I mean? All the time.

All the time. When you're on the street, my Lama Geshe Dargye, he used to say, walk down the street, you see some guy fixing his car, stare at it. See what he's doing.

Well, why? You might be able to help somebody someday. Somebody's changing a tire, watch how they do it.

Let your eyes go to what might be helpful for somebody else someday. Then you can track your progress by tracking your eyes. Where did my eyes go in this room today, and why?

You'll notice when people get old or when they get sick, then nobody's looking at them anymore. People's eyes don't go to this person anymore. Where were we?

I don't remember. A lady ran up and she's like, I forget where it was. We were on the book tour.

She said, look at me. I said, okay, I'm looking at you. She said, no, but people don't look at me anymore.

Ever since I got to 50, they don't look at me anymore. I can be sitting in a room and nobody will look at me. It drives me nuts.

People don't want to look at me anymore because I'm old. But if you're doing this practice, you would walk into a room and you'd look around like, who is there that I could help? Who needs me?

And what stuff is there in this room that I could use to help somebody? You see what I mean? So your eyes are just, you walk into a new room and your eyes are like, oh, there's something I could use.

Somebody might like that. Somebody might like that. Oh, that person looks lonely.

Your eyes are going to the people who are not being looked at. And your eyes are going to things that you might be able to use to help people. Okay?

Everything in the world, what did Annie DeFranco say? Everything in the world, it's the last part of that poem, can be used as a weapon or something like that. I forget how it goes.

It's a poem. And she's talking about a pen or something. And then in the end she's like, but you could also stab somebody with it.

And then she says everything you can lay your hands on is a weapon or something like that. But what it means is everything you can lay your hands on, you can use to help somebody. So your eyes should go around the room.

Oh, I could use a camera. I could help somebody with a camera. There's a notebook.

I could help somebody with a notebook. There's the leftovers of a coffee latte. Maybe somebody would like that.

You know what I mean? No, your eyes are just going around the room for other people. Your eyes have been hired or sold to other people already.

So that's this practice. And you caught the devil. You caught the demon.

The devil exists. The devil exists. And that's one of the main ones.

All right, next. From now on, you will have to give up the idea that you have anything to work for for yourself. I have sold you now to others.

Don't be discouraged. Now earn your keep. This is also a question of style.

I think one of the things that makes people unhappy most in the world is when they're too busy, like they have too much stuff to do. I think that's what makes people unhappy most in the world. One of the things that makes us most unhappy is that we haven't left enough time to do things graciously.

And so we have to do everything ungracefully. And we're rushing. And we don't have time to do it well.

And then it makes you nervous. And then you treat people bad. And so there's a question of style.

And he says, look, now you don't have anything else to think about. You don't have to worry about what you want anymore. You can relax and take your time and just think about what other people want in this room.

So you just canceled half the stuff you had to think about. You see what I mean? You don't have to worry so much about what you wanted anymore.

Like when you become a monk or a nun, you can stop thinking about girls or boys. You see what I mean? No, I mean it's like an automatic thing.

You get half, what, 30% of your mind back. No, I mean, well, 70% she said. I don't know.

No, but you can just cancel that part of your mind. You get all this freedom. It's like dumping 70% of the stuff on your hard drive.

And suddenly the computer works a lot faster. Because you just have to worry about it anymore. You don't have to worry about how you look.

You're going to look the same every day. And stuff like that. Then your mind is just freed.

And that was the whole point, right? And the point of not owning a lot of things. So if you give up what I want, if you just let go of what I want, well then so much of your life is freed up for taking care of other people's things.

And then your hardness runs faster, and more clearly. And your mind gets brighter and happier. So you just decide.

Like there's two ways to go into a restaurant. One is you look at the menu and you say, well here's what Kristila would like, and here's what I would like. Now how am I going to negotiate this?

You see? You can think that way. But if you just go in and just give up, you say, let's just look at what she wants.

We'll just look for what she wants. We won't worry about what I want. And then it becomes a habit.

Then you save 50% of your mind. You see? And then your mind is clear.

Your mind is happier. You can go through the day with more grace, and more slowly, because you don't have to think about all the stuff you wanted. Because it's not there anymore.

You're just thinking about what the other person wants. So thinking about what the other person wants just frees up your mind, and you have more mind. Then you can go more slowly, gracefully through the day, and you don't get nervous, and you don't have to make so much stuff to do.

And like that. Something else I want to say there. And I think I'll throw it in here.

This is a good place to throw it in. We've been talking about doing what other people want. And I always think of this song, Rolling Stones song, you don't always get what you want.

But if you find some time. I can't sing, okay? You just might find.

You get what you need. So he's making a distinction between what you want and what you need, right? And that's interesting.

He's a genius. I think he's a genius, like Mick Jagger. I think he's a genius.

But anyway, he's making a distinction between what you want and what you need. And I think you go through this whole book, and maybe you don't notice something. I mean, when I first started this practice, you can sort of jump into it the next day.

Like you jump into it the next day, and you go to work, and everybody's standing around, and you know they want coffee. You know they all want coffee. And they want it with six spoons of sugar in it.

And then you've been to the two weekends, and you're all inspired, and you're like, I'm going to serve people. I'm going to do what they want. No more herbal tea and honey for me.

I'm going to make coffee with six spoons of sugar in it. And we're all going to have coffee with six spoons of sugar in it, because that's what everybody else wants. And then obviously you have to prioritize.

There's things that people want, and then there's things that people need. And maybe they don't know what they need. So I think for this practice, at the beginning, you will go overboard on taking care of what they want.

And then after a couple of months or years of that, you'll figure out, maybe I should concentrate a little bit more on what they need. You see what I mean? So I'm just warning you up front.

And it's not bad. It's good to take care of what people want. People want, normally they want starch, sugar, sacks, you know, whatever.

No, there's a very short list of what people want. You know, that's why my Lama said, I go into 7-Eleven, everything is ZADGYAK DOGPA THA DE. Say ZADGYAK DOGPA THA DE.

He wanders through 7-Eleven looking for something to eat. He says, this is all the same junk in different packages. You know, every package is the same ingredients.

It's just the same junk in different... There's 130 different products here, and they're all made of the same thing. And he can't find anything to eat.

And he's like, that's the thing, like there's a very short list of what people want. They want sensual gratification. They want to have a full stomach.

They want to be overstimulated. And that's what they want. Now then you're faced with, do you give them what they want, or do you give them what they need?

So what I think, Master Shantideva was in a position where he gave this teaching to people who were already monks. He gave this teaching at the most famous monastery that ever existed in India. So everybody was already on the same track.

Everybody was already on the same wavelength. But I suggest that as you start to practice this practice, you'll find out there's what people want that's usually not too good for them. And then there's what people need.

And what people need is really to be happy. They need to be happy. They want to be happy.

Everybody wants to be happy. But what they want won't normally make them happy. If you could get a maple-covered donut every half hour of the day, would it make you happy?

It is what I want, but would it make them happy? Then you get into this area where after a while you have to be like people's parents. You have to make them happy immediately.

You have to give them a donut. But then you have to also look out for their larger interests, their higher interests. And they may not even admit it, or they may not know it.

Like how many people at work believe that they could not die? You see? How many people that you work with believe that it's possible not to die?

That dying is a mistake. Dying is not necessary. It's a mistake.

It's not the way people have to live. So they're not going to come and beg you, oh please teach me Shantideva so I don't have to die. Because they don't know that this product is available.

You see what I mean? No, they just don't know that such a thing is possible. So they're not going to be asking you for it.

And they're not going to be wanting it, but they need it. You see what I mean? So there's that distinction.

Serve people with what they want, right? And that's mostly just to get them hooked, okay? It's called due ngobo shes.

Due, ngobo, shes. There's four ways to hook people into higher things. And one of them is, you know, stuff them.

Beat them donuts. Take them out for dinner. Make them drink hot chocolates and Coke and whatever they want.

Just give them all that stuff, you know? And then they'll like you and they'll trust you and they'll be happy. You say, let's go out.

They'll say, yes! You see? Because they've always had good experience with you.

And then you start to tell them about what they need, you see? But first you have to give people what they want. So there's a distinction.

And I suggest that you'll have to get better and better at that, you know? So which one are you going to give them? What they want or what they need?

Diamond dealer question, right? Don't fall for diamond dealer question. Mrs. Smith, right channel, left channel question. Tatto dvan brahna kill the duality, you know? It's not like, should you be nice to them with the hot chocolate or should you teach them how not to die? Give them both, you know?

What's wrong with ice cream with caramel sauce on it? You see what I mean? It's not like you have to have ice cream or you can have caramel sauce.

Well, I would like it together, you know? I'll take them both. So make them happy both ways, you know?

I meet a lot of Buddhists who are kind of uptight, frankly. And you know, no, the minute you get into a coffee shop, they're lecturing you about karma or something, you know? And you're like, man, all I wanted was a hot chocolate, you know?

And no, you should give them both, you see? You should... you have to make people happy.

It's called Manobhilashita in the Hatha Yoga Padipika. There's a list of approved foods, you know? There's a list of like 16 foods that you can eat and there's a list of things you can't eat.

But then this genius, right? Swat Marama. He says, but the most important thing about food is Manobhilashita, which means it should make you happy, you know?

No, it should be stuff you like to eat, you know? Like eat what's healthy and then among that, eat what you like to eat, you know? And so you should be both, you know?

You should be like... I'm sure Maitreya gives people donuts and Dharma at the same... I saw this great Three Jewels sign.

Where is that? You got that thing? I don't know.

I don't know. I just saw the new sign for the Three Jewels and it said something like... it was totally improper.

It's like coffee, Dharma, yoga, you know, or something like that. I love it. No, I mean, go to yoga, sweat it out, and then have a donut, you know?

No, I mean, but people need to be... people need to be... it's on the banner, I think.

People need to be happy. So don't be this uptight Dharma person that's lecturing people all the time, you know? Make them happy too, you know?

Make them happy. That's part of your job. Make them happy.

And then when they're happy, and when they trust you, and when they feel comfortable, then you start to sneak into Dharma slowly, okay? Very slowly. Not like an ox in a china shop, you know?

Not like obvious, and forcing people, and pushing people, and being like... you know, we were on a plane to Mongolia and 14 guys came up and tried to convert us. White shirt and black tie, and like, no, no, you don't have to.

I'm going to Mongolia to convert my own people, you know? And, you know, and no, you know, just fun. Make it fun, okay?

That's all. Okay, so what people want and what people need. Give them both, okay?

Give them both. Yeah, Michael? Oh yeah.

Oh god, I always get in trouble this morning. I always forget one. You know the six perfections.

I don't know if you know. Six Bodhisattva activities. So from your own side, you should be generous, is number one.

You should be ethical, is number two. You should not get angry, which is number three. You should have a good time, is number four.

Doing good things. You should be a person who has a good time doing good things, is number four. Number five is you should know how to meditate.

And then number six is wisdom. You should know where the world comes from. You should know what helps people, what doesn't help people.

Those are those six perfections. And then sometimes they add four more. And those are called du-ngo-po shi, the four ways to attract people, other people to the Dharma.

And I don't know, I always miss one, but I'll try. One is help them materially. Like if they need money, give them money.

If they need food, give them food. In the monastery, once they accept you, they pay all your expenses. You don't pay anything in the monastery like that.

So first one is take care of their material needs. Second one is called speak sweetly to them. Like be a nice guy.

You can hit them on the head after they become your disciple. But first they have to become your disciple. Like if you hit them on the head the first day, like if you're in a yoga class and you kill them the first day, they just won't come back, especially in America.

So you have to be like sweet and smile and say, oh that was a great shavasana you did. First two days you have to be nice. After that you can show your true colors.

Then the third one is do as you teach. Like be a living example of what you're talking about. People will be more attracted if you do as you preach.

I forget the fourth one, what is it? I don't know, is it? I don't know.

I always forget the fourth one. Those of you who are in North Carolina, I'll get it for you. During the break I'll get it for you.

Okay. I don't quite remember. Yeah, I don't remember.

I think we did that one. Yeah. What is it?

Is it? Oh, well James and she say skillful means. What did you say?

Yeah, no, material things. Well that's under the material things. These guys, yeah there's one where you should teach to their lama, but there's also one where you should be thubkipo, which means, say again?

Same thing. Anyway, I'll look it up for you. But it's where you can use unexpected means to help people.

Okay, but let me check. Okay, let me check. I'll check it during the break.

I was with you in North Carolina. All you guys were there. The guy corrected me, Tibetan guy.

Okay, we'll do one more verse then we'll take a break. Okay, ready?

[Говорящий 2]
In fact, you have already dragged me this way to them many times over. I haven't forgotten the fights we've had. It's time for you to kill this habit.

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry.

If I happen to forget myself and fail to give you away to every other living being, then you will surely deliver me to those who guard the realms of hell.

[Говорящий 1]
This is the idea, by the way, the name of this class is I Have Sold Myself, right? So you've sold yourself to other people. Tsong in the last verse means I've sold myself, meaning at a certain point in your spiritual career, you take bodhisattva vows.

And that's something you have to study for a long time, and it takes a while before you take them. But you take a vow, you make a promise, like now I will only take care of other people. Now I will devote my life to other people.

And we call it Tsong. Tsong, say Tsong. Tsong means I sold myself to you.

Like now you own me. I belong to you. Now you just tell me what you need and I'll take care of it.

It's a beautiful feeling. It's very hard to do. You have this natural resistance.

Like even when I say to an American, sell yourself to somebody, you don't like it. It doesn't feel right to you. If I say become a servant, we say we don't have servants in America.

There's a story in my family. My mom's maiden name was Earl. E-A-R-L.

And somebody fought for George Washington. And then he asked him what their name was. What's your name, soldier?

And he said, I'm Bob Earl or something. And he said, no Earls in America. Change the name.

And they added some more letters to it. It was interesting. Meaning to us it's sort of repugnant to say, now I'm your servant or I'm your slave.

Like when we go to India and then the lady cooks for us. And then when we're in retreat and then she goes and sits on the ground and refuses to sit at the table with us. And you feel it's sort of repugnant.

You feel like get up. And they say, no, this is our custom. We sit on the floor because we're the servant.

And it feels bad for an American. But to voluntarily volunteer to be the servant, to say, I will be your servant. Now I will sell myself to you.

I'll take care of what you want. And you don't have to go. I mean, if it's too obvious, it doesn't work, right?

If it's too obvious, it doesn't work. If you're like slobbering over somebody and say, oh, anything you want. I won't eat anything.

That's not transparent. And it won't make your masters comfortable, right? You have to make your masters comfortable.

And you have to be their slave. And they should never know. Maybe they will never know.

I had a group of monks and nuns one time in California. And they complained to me. They said, being a monk or a nun in America is really hard.

I said, why? And they said, nobody wants to support us. And I said, you got the whole idea wrong.

Once you put on this red suit, you should go get a job. And you should pay for the Dharma Center. And then you should have all the classes for free.

And hand out all the stuff for free. And they should never know that you got a job. You should be out there working.

Because if you put on the red suit, it means you believe in this stuff. You understand this stuff. If you understand this stuff, you should go out and support the other people.

You see? You should go work and go get a job and work. Go get a job.

And then whatever money you have, you pay for the materials. You pay for the refreshments that you're about to get. And then that's what a real monk and nun should do in our country.

Because you understand. So it's the idea of being a servant for other people, anonymously. And you know it sounds dumb, and it sounds noble, and it sounds like, nobody takes it seriously.

But I can tell you, it makes you really happy. There's nothing like that. It makes you really, really happy.

Like you've worked your whole life to make yourself happy, right? I mean, you swing your legs off the bed in the morning, and you put them on the ground, and you stand up because you think it will make you happy. You see?

And then you start, your search of happiness for the day. 24-hour search. You swing the legs off the bed, and you put them on the floor.

And at that moment, you start looking for something that will make you happy. And then you run around all day, right? Day after day.

Because you think something will make you happy. You believe that. What happens to really depressed people?

They don't get out of bed. They don't get out of bed. No, that's a sign of depression.

You don't want to get out of bed. And when you're seriously depressed, you don't swing those feet off the bed and put them down, because you don't believe anything is going to make you happy all day. Everybody else has stood up for something.

They've got it in mind somewhere to go, and they think it's going to make them happy. No, really. That's why people get up.

That's why you have shoes. And pants. You don't even need pants.

If you're not going to get out of bed, you just don't need them. And then you get home after 18 hours of that, looking for something to make you happy. And honestly, you lay down.

You put the legs back up in the air, and you put them on the bed. And you lay down again. And most people are not happier than they were when they put the legs down on the floor.

You see, in between putting the feet on the floor and putting the leg back up on the bed 18 hours later, they didn't get anywhere as far as happier. You see what I mean? They might own a little more.

They might have gone to more activities. They might have met more people. They might have read more magazines or newspapers or seen more TV.

But they're not happier than they were when they put the foot on the floor. If you do this, see, just let go. Take care of other people.

Just look out for what other people want. Then every night when you get in bed, you'll be happier than you were when you got out of bed. You see?

And that's like the secret of life. That's for free. That's for free.

And it's not at all what you thought, right? Like, in the back of your mind, you thought it was like, better job, bigger apartment, different wife, or something like that. It's not that.

It's just taking care of. Just do stuff for other people all day. And when you get home, you'll feel happier.

And that's how you get happy. Okay, we'll take a break. Come back in about 20 minutes.

And we're going to leave on time because we have to go to dinner, right? Okay, here we go. Next verse.

Who's up?

[Говорящий 2]
In fact, you have already dragged me this way to them many times over. I haven't forgotten the fights we had. It is time for you to kill this habit of worrying about your needs.

[Говорящий 1]
There's a section here, this and the verse before, where Master Shantideva is saying, don't get sloppy. Okay? Don't get sloppy.

Once you've decided to give yourself, to sell yourself to other people, then the worst thing you can do is hesitate. Okay? The worst thing you can do is regret it later.

Many people used to come up to my Lama and say, I told you once before, they said, I'll give you my house. I loved your lecture. Take my house.

And Khen Rinpoche would say, you keep your house. But thank you very much. And they'd say, well, don't you want my house?

And he'd say, it's okay. I could use your house, but you need your house. And one lady gave him her house, tried to, lived in her car for a while, then she quit.

You see? And now there's this danger that you will give up if you try to do too much. You see?

I mean, so you have to do what you can do comfortably. You can't go wild tomorrow and run up to the first homeless person you meet and give away all your money. Why?

Because the next day when the guy comes for the rent and you can't pay, you'll feel bad. And you will regret that you gave away the money. And that bad karma is much more powerful than the good karma.

You see what I mean? The bad karma of hesitating is very powerful. And it ruins a lot of your good karma.

So it's very important to do only what you can do comfortably. Okay? Start with something small.

You know, like don't go quit your job and go work for Nancy Karen at the Three Jewels. Just go part-time and then go work for Nancy Karen at the Three Jewels. Where are you?

So, no, I mean, be reasonable. Okay? Like, give her an hour a week, then give her two hours a week.

Then say, now I can give you five hours a week. But don't do something drastic because you will change your mind and then that's a very bad karma. So that's what he's talking about here.

Serve other people. Take care of other people. But do it gently.

Do it gracefully. Do small things first. You remember the other chapter?

We taught it like five, six years ago, I think. Master Shantideva said, there'll come a time when you, somebody asks you for your finger or your kidney, you will go to the hospital and say, take out my kidney. I'm giving my kidney to this person.

There will come a time when you are strong enough to do that. But right now, start with french fries. He says, start with french fries.

Just share your french fries. Go to McDonald's with somebody. There's like one edible thing at McDonald's.

It's the french fries. Order some french fries, lots of ketchup, and say, you can dip yours in my ketchup. If you can't do the french fries, do the ketchup.

Start with the ketchup. You can dip your french fries in my ketchup. And start something very modest, very small.

It's very important at the beginning to start with what's very, very comfortable for you. And then if you make it a regular habit, you'll get very good at it. And before you know it, you'll just be naturally giving away everything you have to people.

And that's the way it should be. If you go overboard at the beginning, then you quit later, that's very bad karma. And that's what he's talking about, the guards of hell and all that.

You will have very bad karma. If you reject this idea later because you got tired and you got bitter, they call it the potato chip bag syndrome. In one dharma group we know, they call it the potato chip bag syndrome.

And that's where somebody runs to a dharma center, and they quit their job, and they give them all their time. And then they burn out, and then they get dumped, like a potato chip bag, the way you just throw a potato chip bag. And you have to take care of your health, you have to take care of yourself, you have to have a good livelihood, and gently, steadily build up what you can do for other people.

Then you don't give up. Is there anything else on this one? Oh, the fights we've had.

That's talking about my fights with my selfishness, self-cherishing, watching out for me at the expense of others. So the guy here, which is wisdom or kindness, he says, I haven't forgotten all the fights we've had, meaning with my own selfishness. And you will have fights.

It's not an easy path. Getting a college degree is easy. Doing certain yoga asanas after practice is easy.

Raising a family is easy compared to changing your own mind. The mind is impossible. You go into three-year retreat, and you work for a whole year, you meditate for a month, you lose it.

Because the mind has no beginning. You've been selfish for billions of years. You've been watching out for yourself for hundreds of millions of years.

If you believe, past life, you've had this habit. It's not new in your mind. It's a strong part of your mind.

And they will fight back. Selfishness will fight back. And it's very uncomfortable.

Sometimes you'll be sleeping there at night, and you wake up, and your mind is fighting with your mind. It's like, oh, I'm fed up with this Buddhism stuff. I just want to go out.

I have a friend who's a ballet dancer. And she's very beautiful. So her mom, her whole life, her mom taught her ballet.

And she said, you only get 143 calories a day or something. I forget what it was. So she's just a little kid.

And she's like, you get 143 calories a day. So for her whole childhood, she's like, 141, 142, 143. Stop there.

And she's in the middle of an apple or something. And mom would say, stop. Give me the apple.

That's 143 calories. Whatever. Something like that.

Then you know the end of the story. She got to college. Mom's gone.

She went out and ate all the pies she could eat for like six months in a row or something. You know what I mean? It's not like that.

That will happen to you if you don't... You have to take it easy at first. You have to take it easy.

There will be lots of fights in your mind. And don't screw your mind. Don't tighten the screws really tight.

Relax. Take it easy. The mind has been selfish for thousands of lifetimes, millions of years.

You have to work very slow or else you'll break something. And break means you'll quit or you'll get discouraged or you'll do something. Very steady, very slow, a little bit every day.

Meditation is very powerful. Meditation you can fantasize. I could give my job up to this other person at work.

You don't have to give your job to the other person. Just think about it. That's for now.

Just think about it. Or I could give my money to so-and-so. Or I could give my position to so-and-so.

Or next time I go out to eat with Christie, I could not ask for a dessert. You can just think about it. You don't have to do it.

And then if you keep thinking about it, one day you'll just come back from the restaurant and say, God, I didn't ask her for a dessert. I didn't whine about dessert. Because meditation is strong.

So start with meditation. Do it, fantasize about it. And then you'll start doing it automatically.

Like that. Next verse.

[Говорящий 2]
All that time I made myself unhappy. Trying to make myself happy. All this time I'll watch out for others.

I'll finally watch out for myself.

[Говорящий 1]
I like the verse. Let's do it together. Ready?

All that time I made myself unhappy. Trying to make myself happy. All this time I'll watch out for others.

And finally watch out for myself. Dalai Lama calls it enlightened self-interest. It's just very simple.

You can't get what you want unless you take care of other people. When you take care of other people, you get what you want and they get what they want. So you don't lose anything.

You get everything you ever wanted. And it's just very nice. If you take what you want, you don't get it and they don't get it.

If you give other people what they want, then you get what you want. So everybody wins. You see?

Call it win-win in business. Like both sides win. And when you just take things for yourself, you don't get them and then they don't get them.

Nobody wins. It's a no-win-no-win situation. So just take care of other people.

Watch out for what other people want. And just feel happy all day. I think we're on the last.

Are we on the last verse? Okay. Who's going to do this one?

A... Sorry?

[Говорящий 2]
I think there's one more verse, no?

[Говорящий 1]
Isn't there? Was that 173? Oh, okay.

All right. Last thing then. I was thinking about, if we go back...

Oh, I handed out a thing. I hope you got it. It's Master Shantideva's life story.

Did you get that? Yeah. We found that.

I think it's in your notebook maybe, or in the... You got it? It's in the syllabus.

It's hidden in the syllabus. Okay. We found that, okay?

It was hard to find. We found it in a book. It's a couple centuries old.

And we were looking for a nice biography of Master Shantideva. We found it, and we translated it. And it's really beautiful.

But I think the last thing to leave you with is this. Here's a person who wrote the book, right? He wrote the book about taking care of other people, right?

It's the most famous book there is about Bodhisattva, about taking care of other people. He wrote the book, right? So probably he knows about it, right?

I mean, he did it more than anybody. And nobody much has written new books. They just said, you want to know about that, you just read Shantideva.

You read his book. That's all you need, you see? He must have been good at it.

He must have been like an expert at it. So when you read about his life, remember his life, okay? What did he do?

He sat in the monastery. Everybody thought he was a goofball. They called him Mr. Three Thoughts. All you think about is eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom. They said, you're not doing anything for anybody. So obviously, he was what?

He was doing it secretly. I mean, obviously, whatever he was doing, nobody even knew. They accused him of being the worst monk in the monastery.

And here he's the greatest monk in the monastery. So I mean, the first thing we can say is that whatever he did, he did it secretly. He took care of other people anonymously, which is a very powerful way.

But then the second thing, what did he feel was the best way to take care of those other monks? What did he leave us? He left us this teaching, you see?

Like all the things he could have done. You don't say he's famous for cooking at the monastery. You don't say he's famous for even raising money for the monastery.

You don't say he's famous for whatever. He's famous because he left us the instructions for how to take care of other people. You see what I mean?

Of all the things he could have given us, what he chose, when he exchanged me and Kinzon, then what he left for her was this teaching. You see what I mean? So now I think it gives us an insight into what's important to give to other people.

You see, you can give people a fish, or you can teach them how to fish. You see what I mean? You can give people one fish, or you can teach them how to fish.

You can give people some green beans from a garden, or you can teach them how to grow green beans. You see what I mean? And that's the big difference, you see?

He's giving us the way to have everyone enjoy this teaching. Like how to spread the teaching, how to share the teaching. When he did exchanging you and me, he decided the most important thing that me needed was the poetry, this beautiful poetry that he wrote.

So I would like to encourage you, but I've just found out there are people here who are teaching. Like Poon King, raise your hand. Yeah, she just taught diamond cutter in Singapore.

Vilma and Yukong Pan, they just taught, what did you teach? They're teaching, oh, I can do a pitch. Where's that thing?

There's ACI courses going on in New York. And oh, Michael Moore just told me, their daughter, Michael and Bonnie Moore's daughter just finished teaching course 18? 18?

17. To all these Hollywood actors and actresses and stuff. No, I mean, I just found out, that's just today what I heard.

Devorah just finished online teaching to Haifa, Tel Aviv, and the other place that I can't pronounce. That's 300 people or something. No, I mean, this is just what I found out about today or yesterday.

And you should do that, okay? You should learn to do that. Like everybody here, I think almost everybody in the first row here is teaching.

And you should learn, okay? And you should help people. Because that's like giving, instead of giving a fish, you're teaching people how to fish, you see?

And the whole way we've set it up, the whole course thing, that dumb homework stuff and all that, it's so that you can take that notebook, and you can just Xerox it. We don't charge anything. You can download them for free.

Steal them. And go teach them somewhere. And you can either do it in your house, or Nancy, you can do it in the Three Jewels.

She needs teachers. Or you can do it in Starbucks, okay? Over coffee with somebody.

You just sit down with somebody at work, and they're not having a very nice day, and you teach them. Because that's the kindest exchange you can do. That's the nicest switch you can do.

You put yourself, they're you, and you're them. And you didn't hear about this stuff yet, right? So you want to tell you about it.

And you don't have to preach the Bible, and slap it on their table, and pound on it, or anything like that. You say, I don't know, last weekend I heard this crazy guy, and he's saying, if you get upset at work at somebody, instead of fighting with them, just serve them for the whole day. And it's the weirdest idea, and I didn't believe it would work, but I tried it, and it works.

Of course you have to have tried it, right? You have to have meditated, right? No, I mean, people can smell.

I say people are like dogs. Where'd he go? Oh, he's hiding.

People are like dogs. Dogs can smell, if you like them or not. They will bite.

This dog, was it the last dog? Oh, it's Pancho Villa. The dog we had at the beginning, okay?

People would walk into class. There were seven students, right? And one of them was always causing trouble.

And the dog would always bite that one, you know? Which caused new trouble, but anyway. Now, dogs can smell, you see?

They can smell who likes dogs. And she didn't ever do anything to Pancho Villa. She just didn't like dogs, and he knew it.

He could feel it. And people are the same way, you know? If you start giving this pitch to this person at Starbucks, oh, I heard this guy last week, he said you should just give the other person what they want.

Take care of them. Don't worry about you. And then if you haven't been doing it, they'll smell it.

They'll smell it. They'll be like, yeah, yeah, right. I saw you this morning, you know?

I saw how you take care of other people. You hogged the last coffee, you know? And donuts, forget it, you know?

I haven't seen a donut since you've been working there, you know? No, I mean, you have to be doing it, right? That's why I ask people to teach, really, because it's embarrassing to teach if you haven't been doing it, right?

So do it. Do the meditation. By the way, simple meditation.

In the morning, before you go to work, you just think. Pick one person at work, or pick one person in your family, and think, what would they like today? What would they like to happen today?

And give it to them, you know? In the morning. It's a beautiful, beautiful meditation.

It's the most powerful meditation you can do. Pick one person. Each morning, 15 minutes.

You don't have to go into the void and embrace the light, you know? You just close your eyes and think, what would they like today? And then you just do what they would, you know?

And it will make you happier and happier. Do this as a meditation. This is a very, very serious, deep, holy meditation.

Then whatever other meditation you had in mind—emptiness, analysis of the void—it will all come automatically, you see? It all begins with kindness. Kindness is the first meditation.

It always has to be the first meditation. Then all the void stuff you want will come, okay? And you will see your past lives, you will see your future lives, you will see other planets, you can talk to angels.

All that will come. But first you've got to think of what Christy would like at the restaurant today. Probably not 14 brownies, you know?

Which is what I would want, you see what I mean? So just five, ten minutes. Think about what the other people that you live with, what they would like.

You see what I mean? This is a deep, deep meditation. Then all those other amazing things—talk to angels directly, go to other planets, see your past life, see your future life, see your enlightenment—all of those things will come.

The first meditation has to be kindness every morning, okay? Switch yourself and others. It's easy.

It doesn't cost anything, okay? All right, that's a good place to stop, I think. All right, we've got to give away the good karma.

We did a really good job. This is the most powerful teaching, okay? All right, we'll give away the karma.

Concentrate, and we'll stay silent afterwards for a while. Imagine somebody on the planet talking about this insane thing that the best way to take care of yourself is not to take care of yourself, and it's to take care of other people, okay? So rejoice and give it away.

Okay, here we go.

[Говорящий 2]
I want everyone to thank Ishala with this offering from the bottom of their heart. Sunam Yeshe Dzogzoshi, Sunam Yeshe Lejungwe, Dhamma Kunyi Togpasho.

[Говорящий 1]
Good job.