Живой ламрим: как жизнь Кхена Ринпоче отразила учение о ступенях пути (2005, Аризона), занятие 10

[Говорящий 1]
We're still talking about Ken Rinpoche, just my teacher, and how he embodied the text that we're studying. So we're studying a text on the steps to Buddhahood. Instead of just reading the book and asking you the three this's and the four that's, we thought the first half of class we would keep...

I would just tell you stories about how he actually did the Lamrim, you see. And that's a better Lamrim, I think, than I could do from a book or something. So here we go.

We're on to the first method of developing the wish for enlightenment, which is what? Yeah, the seven steps. So we're on to that, right?

The seven steps that you have to go through to get this wish to become an angel that can help all beings, right? And then before you can even start the seven steps, you have to do something else, which is what? Yeah, like some kind of equanimity.

You have to reach some kind of equanimity. At least you have to think of people equally, right? So I thought I would talk about that, how Ken Rinpoche practiced that.

And it ended up to be this huge thing, you know? And it dawned on me that... something very profound.

He really broke down the lines between himself and other people in 27 different ways. And I'll go through them, but when I think about it, and because I stayed with him I didn't really notice it, but now from the distance, he was constantly just breaking down the barrier between him and other people. And when you think about the first step of getting bodhicitta in the seven-step method, which is what?

Marshay. Realize they're your mother, right? Realize people are your mother.

If you've lived countless lifetimes, then everyone sitting next to you is your mother, right? They have done everything. The guy sitting behind you was pregnant for nine months with you, countless times, you know?

Even David Stump. Okay. Even David Stump.

[Говорящий 2]
So...

[Говорящий 1]
You know, it occurred to me, you're supposed to like, you're trying to develop equanimity so you can start seeing them as your mother, but it occurred to me that Khenpo Rinpoche, like how do I know he was seeing people as his mother? You see what I mean? How do I know that?

Because he didn't like say, Oh, I see my... He did once, right? But it occurred to me that through his practice of...

we can deduce from his practice of equanimity that he must be thinking of them as his mother. You see what I mean? Just from his...

how well he practiced equanimity and his lack of bias or prejudice, you see? Then I was thinking of all the different kinds of bias I could come up with, you know? Like I made a list of different kinds of prejudice and different kinds of bias, which are all ways of putting lines between you and other people, right?

So I thought I'd go through all these... it'll probably take today and tomorrow, but all these kinds of bias that he didn't have and the kinds of bias that he broke through that I still have, that we still have, right? So I thought...

and it's in no particular order. It's like I'll be sitting in the bathroom and I'll pull out this paper and write one more down and, you know, it's just as I remembered them, you know? May I miss some?

I don't know. But these are all the kinds of bias I can think of. The first one would be like age bias.

And this is where... if you're 40, 30, 50 years old, you have this bias, like you don't want to talk to people who are too old. They're not fun anymore.

Like we just ignore them after a while, you see? And I also... you also don't...

I mean, many people, they don't want to... I don't really relate to kids that much, you see what I mean? So you have this bias.

You are in your age group. Your general age group, give or take 20 years, right? But you're not that...

like you'll... I go to my brother's house. I hang out with their kids, you know?

And I joke around with them, but I don't feel like... I don't know how do you say... like they're my equals or something.

You know what I mean? I can't like have a conversation with them about emptiness and karma or something. And then the very old people, they're just kind of...

they can't remember anything and... and you can like... what do you say?

Condescendingly, you can sort of have a conversation. You say, Oh, and I... tell me about your life.

What? Tell me about what you used to do. What I used to do, you know?

And then... then it's just kind of frustrating. So there's this kind of bias.

Unspoken bias. You know? I don't really hang out with really old people.

And I don't really hang out with really small people. Not very... not significantly.

I'll play with them and... talk about dinosaurs and... No, and then I'll...

then I want to get back to my translation work. You know what I mean? Or I want to talk to Betts about the next book.

You know? So he didn't have that. He didn't have that.

He was like... he was so comfortable with little kids and old, old people. So I'm going to tell you some little kids stories and some old, old people stories, okay?

For the little kids, I don't know if you guys know Cheryl... Copper is her name. Terrazacus or Kratenstein, depending on her former...

Anyway. But... So she lives in New York.

She took a cab ride. This is just before the Dalai Lama came to New York the first time. She was in a cab.

Tom Kiley was driving the cab. You know? He turns around and says, Have you ever heard of the Dalai Lama?

She says, No. Do you want to go see him? Okay.

And... you know, that's how she got started. And...

so she had a child. It was a young girl. And...

and she used to come... she used to bring her to the temple. I don't know.

She was two or three, the first time she came. And she's a toddler and Cheryl takes her up the stairs. And Rinpoche, you know he had Kit-Kat candy bars?

He had a... No, he had this... supply of Kit-Kats ready for children, or me.

And... And then he... No, he had all this other stuff ready for children, you know?

And then... so the child comes up and she walked in the room and she points to him and says, Buddha! Buddha!

You know? And I'm like, you get this chill up your spine, you know? She's like, she's never been there.

She doesn't know anything. She just says, Buddha! And for the rest of her life she called him Buddha.

You know, she's like, she always calls him Buddha, you know? And she'd just point to him and say, Buddha. You know?

And... Then I had a dear friend come who has two young boys and... God children, right?

And... And, you know, he's supposed to be talking to the adults, but he's not talking to the adults. He's like, he's like, you guys know about baseball, you know?

And they're like, yeah, baseball. And he's like, wow, I like the Mets. What do you like?

I like the Yankees, you know? And they're like, yeah. And he's...

Then he's like, he's like reaching around. He's got all this stuff around his chair because he couldn't get up very easily. He's got all his stuff is around him, you know?

And he's like... And he pulls out these two baseball hats. He didn't know they were coming, right?

He said, here's one for you, here's one for you. Now they're all grown up, they're going to college, but they still talk about these baseball hats, you know? And he just had this...

He didn't have this prejudice that he wouldn't talk to... that children aren't people. He didn't have this prejudice, you see?

Then we had... I don't know if you've been to the temple, but there's a... There's all these houses out back.

The temple goes from the one street to the other street. I don't think everyone knows that. The temple property goes...

It's four lots. The temple's on two lots. So there's two more lots behind it.

And there's all these junk houses, you know? There's all these broken down houses. These were summer cottages built for rich people in New York when they used to go to the Jersey Shore, like in 1920, before airplanes were invented, or before air travel was easy.

Then they would come by train down to the Jersey Shore for the summer or something. So these are like uninsulated little shacks, you know? Summer cottages.

So Rinpoche and the temple, they made this really beautiful thing where if somebody got old and like their wife died and they didn't have any money, then they could come stay there, and they could just stay there for free. So I don't know if you're aware of it. Like there's one...

When I got there, there was one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight... There were ten old people staying there in different little houses. And the ones I liked the most, there's these two brothers.

One is named Manja, which means getul, in Mongolian or something. And then one is Dorsha, which is what? It's Dorje in Mongolian, right?

So they're like these brothers. One is 82, one is 78, you know? And they lived in that red house behind Rinpoche's place.

And they had a really weird life. They got caught by the Russians. They were on the wrong side of the revolution.

They got imprisoned in Siberia. They spent 20 years... They were telling me one day, 20 years, the whole world was what we could see out the keyhole of the place.

The whole world was just that shape of the keyhole. And that's all we saw. And then the karma brought them back together.

They were both imprisoned, but then they got back together and they came to America. So they were so cool. And they were totally...

I don't know, senile or whatever, but Rinpoche would have them over, come up to the house, come up to the room, and he would take care of them, all the groceries. We would fix their houses. Anytime they need anything, we fixed up their houses.

And Rinpoche would just spend the money and we would go. And he'd say, five students, you have to go put new insulation in their houses. And then they'd come up and he'd sit and listen to them for like hours and hours.

And they didn't speak any English. And they'd be speaking like Mongolian and Russian mixed together. And he'd be, yeah, yeah, you know.

And he took care of them until they died. He took care of them. He went to the hospital when they got sick, when they got old.

And he just took care of them. He took care of everybody. There were ten old monks back there when I started, when I got there.

And he'd just take care of everybody. He just took care of everyone. And he loved them and he was interested in them.

Even if they weren't his age, you see what I mean? There wasn't this age bias. Next one is like, how do you say, a gender bias.

And very frankly, in the monasteries, with some people, not many, okay, but it has been strong among certain groups in the monasteries that there's a very bad bias against women, you see. Like, they're called ke men. Ke men is the Tibetan word for woman.

It means lower birth, lesser birth. Ke wa menpa means lesser birth, you see. And they use words like ko.

Ko or morang, when you're talking about, like for a man, you use korang, which means he. And then for a woman, you use ko, which means like it. Like what you'd call a dog or something, you see what I mean?

And then, they have jokes, like ani dompa nangshin. You keep promises like an ani, like a nun keeps her vows, you know. You're just like ani dompa nangshin, you know.

It's this very strong, there's an element of really bad prejudice, gender bias, in some parts of the monasteries. And he just didn't buy into it at all, you see. He had this, he got to America.

I was there when he was learning English. In the first few weekends that he was teaching people, he had like 15 teeth removed. He still taught.

At the same day, he was still teaching. And he invited women and men to come. And some of his first great students were women.

And he taught them the Geshe course, you see. This had never been done in history. No woman has ever heard the Geshe course.

No nun in Tibet has ever been allowed to sit in the Geshe course. And he just, first day, he said, we're doing the Geshe course together, men and women both. And he got a lot of heat for it in the monastery.

You don't know. You don't know, you see. People just think, oh, he's so nice, just teach everybody, you know.

But he got heat, you know. He really got heat. People were like, what the hell are you doing?

And why are you teaching women? Came in, you know. And he's like, no, they're really good, you know.

I'm making... No, and he'd like say, oh, they're better than some of your Geshes, you know. And, you know, he just stood up for it.

And you don't have any idea. You just think, oh, he was just teaching everybody. You have no idea what, you know, how courageous it was for him to...

and what a... how farsighted and how, you know, enlightened it was for him. He didn't...

he didn't perceive a difference between men and women. He just didn't perceive it. You see, it wasn't like he was trying to be socially correct or politically correct.

He just didn't see a difference, you see. And he treated everybody the same. There's another kind of bias that some teachers have, some people have, which is another kind of gender bias, which is if it's a man, if the teacher's a man and the student is a...

they pick the cutest girls in the class. They're like, oh. And they treat them special, you see.

Like, oh, you know, like they would... they would like, I don't know, pay them more attention and like that. And the opposite, sometimes a lady teacher will pay more attention to the...

you know, an improper attraction to the opposite sex like that. And it infects their teaching and it infects what they do, you know. And I call it a sexual bias as opposed to a gender bias, okay, because really it's some kind of impure thought about their student.

And Rinpoche, as far as that, I mean, he took robes when he was seven years old. And I lived with him for, I don't know, 25 years. I never saw the slightest trace of sexual misconduct.

Nothing. You know, nothing ever. Anything, you know.

Not even like, you know, looking at somebody or no mention of it. He never even... I don't believe he even thought about it ever.

You know what I mean? He's just pure. And spouse were totally pure.

And no sign of any kind of impure thought like that at all. Frankly, no sign of normal sexual thoughts at all. All on a higher level.

His whole mind was on a higher level. Next one I call a financial bias. This is where a teacher is like fawning over the student who has money.

And then the student comes in who doesn't have any money and they're like, who are you? You know, and... And sometimes it's subtle.

Sometimes it's not so... You know, you just say, oh, the lama did a puja today. Somebody's died, you know.

So who died? Oh, it's the student's mom or the student's uncle. And it's always the student having money, you know.

And then... And then the students who are like broke all the time and sort of troublesome or pain in the butt, they're like... They say, could you pray for my mom?

I say, yeah, well, I'll do something in my room later, you know. I'm busy. This lady's here, you know.

And like that. And you get this really weird vibe that... And sometimes I think these biases are not intentional.

I don't think they're conscious sometimes. I think just, you know... So here's my story about that.

First of all, he never charged anything to anybody for a class. Never. In his life.

He never charged anybody for a class in his life. So he gave us... I estimated once seven or eight thousand hours of classes freely.

He paid for the refreshments. He paid the rent. He paid the oil bills.

He paid the electrical bills. He built the classroom for the students with his own money. And even in the monastery I've never had a teacher ask me for any money.

Never ask me for a penny. You see? And that's just the way he was.

So, you know, we had really poor students. When I got there I didn't have any money at all. I didn't have anything.

I said, can I study with you? And he said... I gave him my bank book.

I had this... I had like $400 in the bank. I said, here's my bank book.

Here's everything I own. It's yours. And he takes it and he says, take it back.

And at that time he didn't have any money at all. You know? It's just like...

No, it's free. Then one day, it's a funny story. I was like cultivating this lady, this sponsor.

[Говорящий 2]
And, you know...

[Говорящий 1]
And I actually asked her for $20 million. And I did. 22.

22, something like that. Her father is the wealthiest, one of the wealthiest men in the world. And I had to meet her for something else.

I didn't ask her for anything for us. I met her to ask for something for somebody else. But the karma was weird and she ended up helping us.

And I didn't ask her. She just came. So...

And I had this grand plan called Worldview. We'd make comic books for kids and we'd make videos for kids and we would, you know, save all the books in the world that needed saving. So actually, people were there.

We did it at Godstown. We kidnapped her in a car. And we took her up there, three or four of us.

And we did a presentation that took the whole two rooms at Godstown. We had things on easels so she could just walk from easel to easel and see, this is this project, this is this project. What's the final bill?

$22 million, okay? And she said, I'll think about it. And she was like...

We took her to New York. New York was Richard Gere. And we went to see a building to buy it together.

And she's like, okay, maybe I'll... And anyway... So one day she shows up at the temple, right?

And I run upstairs to Rinpoche. I said, the lady, that lady. And he says, yeah, yeah.

And he says, she's downstairs. And he's like watching a baseball game. And he's like, okay.

And I said, well, what should we do? He's like, what do you mean? Make her a cup of tea.

Make sure she gets some tea. Bring me some too. And I'm like, Rinpoche, she's rich, she's rich.

And I said, yeah, yeah, but the Yankees are on. And he just didn't, he didn't, nothing, didn't care at all. He's like, totally like, give her a cup of tea.

Help make her comfortable, you know? Like the same he does for everybody. He does it for everybody.

And he's like, do you want to come down? No. No, it's okay.

You know? And he just didn't think like that. He didn't even cross his mind, you know?

And it's so cool. Then I was so impressed, you know? So that was a, he didn't have this thing of fawning over the student with the money or something like that, you know?

He didn't have this bias of looking at people as potential sponsors and like that, okay? I'm thinking of, how to say, racial bias, okay? Racial bias.

And this is something wonderful about Tibetans in general. And when I was in the monastery, I was the only white guy, for, I don't know, 15, 20 years I was the only white guy at ceremony. There was one Swiss guy who used to come once in a while.

But, no one ever treated me as a white guy, you know? No one ever treated me that way. No one, one day, one guy said one thing at Debung or something.

We were in a debate and he had just gotten out of Tibet and he like socked me or something half by accident, you know, like, bam, you know? And, and then he dawned on me that this had never, no one has ever shown me any racial prejudice in 25 years. It just dawned on me.

They treated me exactly like a Tibetan, you know? No one ever said anything. One guy, when I was sitting in the debate, we were at the winter debates and I'm watching the debate and I feel this thing on my arm, you know?

And, and it's like this, you see?

[Говорящий 2]
And I'm like, you know?

[Говорящий 1]
And, and then he keeps going like this, you know? And then I'm like, you know, like this. And there's this guy next to me and he's like pulling on, and he says, I've never seen a guy with hair on his arm, you know?

It's so cool, you know? And, he just like, he wanted to pet it or something, you know? He's like, because Tibetans, they don't have any hair, you know?

Like, they don't have facial hair and they don't have, you know? And he's like, that's so cool, you know? And he's just, he just was entranced and he kept pulling on it, you know?

But aside from that, like that's the most, that's the most racist that they ever got. And, and remember, he just didn't see people's race. He didn't, he wasn't aware of it, you see?

Just totally unaware of it, you know? So people would come, as a result, um, the temple, and I don't think you know, like, Rishi Gembali Howell Temple became like a, it was a temple to many nationalities. The Russians, the white Russians in their community would come and use the temple, you see?

They would come, take chairs for their beer parties, everything, you know? And they would just use it like everybody else. And then the, the Mongolians would come and there's four kinds in the Mongolians, there's Durbets, there's Buzawas, there's Turgets, you know, and Sopo, and they don't talk to each other, you know?

And that's why there's four temples in Howell, you know? So we're Durbet and we don't talk to Buzawas, you know? And, no, that's why there's four temples in Howell because they don't talk to each other.

It's four different tribes among the comics, you see? And Rinpoche just didn't have this, you know? So he would, he'd go to all the temples, all the temples welcomed him.

And he's like the only monk, everybody would invite him to their temple because he just doesn't, he didn't see this thing, you see? He didn't have this thing. Then Vietnamese, there's a whole Vietnamese community that came after the Vietnam War.

They lived in the Jersey Coast and they would just come and use the temple and he's like, welcome, you know, go for it, here's the key, use the temple, you know? And they would do their prayers in there and then Indians would come down from New York, from Brooklyn and they would use the temple. This guy, Mr. Guha would come and he would bring all these Indians and then there's a Chinese community from Chinatown would come down and, like they showed up on his birthday and then like 20 people and then he said, go ahead, give him the temple, use the temple, you know?

And he fed them and he took care of them and he had lots of black students, Spanish students, he had all kinds, everything, everything you can imagine, right? And he just didn't see any difference between any of us and it was so refreshing, it was so, and it wasn't like he was trying to be correct, he just didn't see a difference between people. So, he just didn't have this bias, he just didn't have this perception of people as different, you see?

And their language, he would try to learn their language, you see? It was really weird, like he, he learned Mongolian, he learned Russian, he learned all these, he learned Chinese, he knew some Chinese and he would just, you know, if you stick around him for a while he knows, he would adapt to you. You see what I mean?

So that was cool. National bias. You know, you heard the story of how he escaped from Tibet, right?

I never heard this story from him. He never told me that story, you see, because he didn't think of Chinese that way. He refused to think of them in a negative way.

And in his first book, I think, the Three Principal Teachings of Buddhism, he said, he said, I don't feel anything about Chinese. He said, you know, they were shooting at him, they were bombing his place, they killed all his friends, they tortured people, they kept people in prison for 20 years, and he didn't have any bad feeling at all. He's like, no, he didn't even think like that.

He just didn't think like that. He would rejoice, he would have a lot of Chinese friends, and he never said anything bad. He never even mentioned those things, you know.

He didn't think about that. He was just thinking about how wonderful they were, think of them as people. He didn't have this nationalistic thing.

He just didn't have it. He lost his country. He didn't get so attached to it.

He wasn't so worried about it. And there was big pressure on Tibetans overseas not to become citizens of other countries. There was big pressure.

Don't take another passport. Don't take a foreign passport. And why?

Because we'll get to bed. If you take a foreign passport, you're like saying we can't get to bed. And it hurts the cause.

And he got all this pressure, and he said, no, I'm going to get a U.S. passport. And they said, why? You have a green card.

Yeah, I have a green card. I can stay here as long as I want. Why do you want to become a citizen?

I love this country. I love the people. They're good people.

What's the point? I'm a Tibetan. I love Tibet.

And I love America. And he didn't have this thing of, oh, that's that country and that's that country. He just didn't see the world in terms of countries.

How's that? He didn't see the world in terms of countries. He ignored the international boundaries.

It's very interesting. I think Lama Zopa does this. He's very successful at, he's a global citizen.

Where does he belong to? What citizenship is he? I don't know.

He's just there. He doesn't see the world as different countries. And he had this skill.

And I think functional bias, I call functional bias. What can this person do for me? You see, I have this sometimes.

Oh, can this person have a project for me or not? Like I meet somebody, I'm like, how soon can I get them into a project? And he didn't have this.

He didn't care about whether you were going to do anything for him or not. You see, whether or not you could perform a function for him. Ngopo, right?

Ngopo tseni. Dungyi nyupa. The thing which can perform a function.

He didn't see people as ngopos. He didn't relate to people as ngopos. So I'll tell you a story.

We were, he got ill. He had a, how do you say it? Prostate?

Prostate? Prostate. We didn't get to that in the TCM class.

But I've learned a xiphonic structure. What is that? Anyway.

Xiphoid process. We got to xiphoid processes, but we didn't get to prostates. So he had a prostate problem and we went to the, he went to the hospital and we were very concerned and they wouldn't let anyone in to talk with him or to help him or to translate.

And so I went home. I'm like this big businessman. I got my best pinstripe suit on.

I typed up a letter from the diocese, the Buddhist diocese of New Jersey. And I said, you know, Michael Roach is an ordained minister and he's been assigned by the diocese to assure that Reverend Tarchin's medical care is sufficient and he will be coming into the room every day. Or you can call this number if there's any problems, you know, or the congressman, you know, or something like that.

And so, you know, I went every day and I showed him this letter. Oh, yes, please come in. And so I got in every day and all day.

I even snuck the dog in one day. Were you there? We snuck the dog in one day in a bag.

And, you know, he was there. And then, so I was the big student. I was his changzer, right?

Changzer in the monastery means an abbot's number one man. So when he became abbot, I became changzer. And that was a big deal.

That's the first white man changzer probably in history. And he said, you're my changzer. He announced it in the monastery.

This is my, what do you call it? What's the word? Exchequer is what it means.

Something like that. So I'm his changzer. So I'm like this, you know, I'm the main student.

I get to take care of everything. You know, I'm feeling very possessive. And then he says, oh, Michael, come over here, you know, Mike.

After today I want you to stay home, okay? And I want this other student to come, you know. So I said, you know, I'm the student who pays his bills.

I'm the student who takes care of everything. You know, I'm the student. And he's like, I'm like, Rishi, why, you know?

And he said, well, this other student, you know, he really loves me. And he really wants to do something for me. And you get to do something for me all the time.

But this other student never gets a chance to do anything for me because he can't really do things, you know. He doesn't, he can't write a letter from the diocese and, you know, he's, but he's really sincere and he wants to help me. And I want you to give him a chance, you know.

So after today you don't come, you know. And he'll come. You see, he didn't think of functionality.

He's like, I'm the student who won't pay my bills anymore. You know what I mean? He's not thinking like that.

He's like, I have to be fair, you know. Whether they, whether they can help me or not, I have to treat them all the same. He just didn't have this bias.

He just wasn't, he didn't see people as what they could do for him. It's like always what can he do for them? I call the next one emotional bias.

What's her name? Who's that musician? Infatuation junkie.

Who's that? Alanis Morissette. She wrote an album called Supposed Infatuation Junkie.

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. But it's the thing about dharma teachers and, you know, all of it. They get infatuated with, they become junkies for other people's infatuation.

You see? Like they want to teach because somebody will write them a letter and tell them how wonderful they are and how great they are. Like they feed off of the infatuation of students, especially those who have problems usually.

You see, I mean, they're like, a person is like a codependent type of person or, what do you call it? They have low self-esteem, so teachers just suck off that, you know? And then they get this codependent, you know, like the student needs them.

And then they make sure the student needs them more, you know, and they like it because then they get all this attention from the student and they get all this, you know. Students will write them things and, you know, they will need things. And then there's teachers who feed off that, who kind of take it.

So it's an emotional, kind of blackmail or something, I don't know what it is, but it's some kind of feeding off another person's good heart, really, that you want the attention and you want this infatuation, right? So I was thinking, you know, and then there are other people who come to your classes and they just treat you like poop, you know? There's like students who come to the class and they walk in with a sneer and then you're like, you're like, hi, how are you?

And they're like, you know, and then you're like, you know, and they're like, no, you know, you're like, wasn't that a good class? He said, no, I heard better, you know, and, you know, and, you know, they're always complaining about something, you know, like, I don't like this class. What, are you charging too much?

It's free? No, no, I didn't like the refreshments, you know, or, you know, I didn't get my reading, I didn't get my free reading on time, you know, and, which you're not going to get tomorrow, okay? I just do it anyway.

So, there's these two, and then you tend, some lamas tend not to pay attention to those pain-in-the-butt students, like, the students are grumpy all the time and whining all the time and complaining all the time and criticizing you all the time. Then some lamas will just kind of shunt them out, make sure they're not in the class anymore, you know, make sure they're not around, you know, kind of create the circumstances where they can get, sort of, escorted out, you know. And then, this is Rinpoche, I'll tell you a story.

This is a hard story to tell. I wasn't sure to tell it to you, and there's several stories like this, but I just chose one, okay? So, we were out together, this is like, I don't know, 15 years ago, 20 years ago.

We're out on the lawn at Raja Gampalina, and we're walking the dog, right? And we're just standing there next to the house, and this car comes up the driveway, and it cuts off the driveway and heads over the grass right at Rinpoche, right? And, like, serious.

And we just, I push him out of the way, you know, and this person jumps out, you know, and they're trying to run him over, you know, and they pick up Rinpoche's dog and they just threw it like that, you know. And this was a very good student, you see, who just, like, cracked, you know, they just cracked, you know. And so, I was like, I was like, man, what are we going to do, you know?

And he says, take care of her, take care of her. And he goes over and he hugs her, you know. And then, so he says, come here, you know, hug her, take care of her, you know.

And then she got away, and she went to the fence, there was a barbed wire fence, and she went like this with her hands, you know, and all ripped up. And so he runs, he says, take care of her. He keeps saying, take care of her.

And he runs over, and he just, he just hugged her, and he just took care of her, you know. And then we took her home, you know. I got the car off the grass and took her home.

And he never, ever mentioned it to her. And he took care of her for 20 years after that. And he just served her, you know.

And he never said a thing about her. And he treated her like his daughter. And she tried to kill him.

And to the end of his life, he took care of her. Close, really close. I think that's a good way to stop it.

So I just, we'll go more tomorrow, okay? But no bias, you see. Didn't care if you liked him or not, you take care of him or not, you know.

He just, if you had this infatuation with him or not, he didn't care. He just, whatever you needed, he took care of you, you see. And totally free of all these kinds of bias.