Смерть по-новому: жить осмысленной жизнью (1999, Мельбурн), занятие 1

[Говорящий 1]
First I'd like to thank Tara Institute, and also all the FPMT organization for having us here, and also Mr. Salim Lee, who's been very instrumental in getting us to come to Australia. The subject tonight was how to live a meaningful life, or something like that, and I'm going to talk in two parts. One is called Chiwa Mitakpa, which is...

it's sort of a death meditation, which is the best way to live, and then the second part is called Dakshin Yamje, which means the exchanging of yourself and other people. So, these two come together normally, and we'll be going through those. I'll be writing some Tibetan on the overhead, and I'd like...

I'll say the words and you repeat them. This does two things. First of all, it puts a seed in your mind for studying these things more deeply, maybe this life, maybe next life, okay?

Also, it impresses you that I know what I'm talking about. And... the first Dalai Lama, when he taught, he said always use some foreign languages, and then people will think you know what you're talking about.

He used a lot of Sanskrit in his books. So, we'll start like that. I don't know...

So, please say Chiwa... Mitakpa. Not too bad.

I always test to see if the audience is awake or not by doing this. Say Chiwa... Mitakpa.

Okay? Chiwa means death, okay? Mitakpa means everything changes, and death is one example.

And if you want to talk about living a meaningful life, you have to study death meditation, what we call death meditation. And when I first heard this, and I heard different people talking about it, they were talking about some weird thing that... when you die, you see all these colored lights, and...

and... and... then strange things happen to you, and then suddenly you're in a spirit body, and you rise up in the sky, and you're watching your body down there, and you're wondering what's going on, called the bardo, right?

And... and... this is a famous book, I think it was the first book a lot of my friends read about Tibetan Book of the Dead.

My close friend Art Engel, he read it and went crazy, and went to a... what do you call it? In America, crazy house, okay?

And... and then he... he got out and came to study with my lama, and he fixed him, and made him a great scholar.

But... and I used to think that's what death meditation was, and then it's like, you're supposed to close your eyes, and imagine all these strange lights, and things like that. That was one idea I heard about death meditation.

And then the other one was some kind of thing where you imagine how it's going to be, you know, like, when the body starts to die, and your... and your arms to start... you can't move your arms anymore, and it starts to get cold from the bottom of your feet, and how it feels when the coldness comes up your legs, and comes...

it starts at the end of your fingers, and comes back here. And it just seemed very pessimistic, and... how do you call it?

Morbid, literally, to me. It seemed like very... it didn't seem like a very useful meditation to me, it just seemed like very depressing.

And then Buddhists are saying everything is suffering, and then they meditate all the time on death, and then... you know, in America a lot of people have low self-esteem already, and then you tell them, oh you have to meditate on how bad you are, and how bad your body's gonna look when you rot, and everything else, and... and it seemed very depressing to me.

Then I started to read... there's a great book by a Lama named Jetsun Kappa, he was the teacher of the first Dalai Lama, and he wrote a book called The Great Steps of the Path to Enlightenment, Lamrim Chomol, and in there he describes what a good death meditation is about. And then, after you study that for a while, you find out that this is the best way to live, if you want to make your life meaningful, that you should get up every morning and do a death meditation, alright?

So I'm going to give you the basic steps of a Chiwa Mitakpa meditation, a death meditation, and you can get up every morning and try it, and this is the best way to make your life meaningful, okay? So, it's not going to be anything about colored lights, and... and weird experiences after you die, and it's not so much really about imagining what it feels to die, but it's something totally different, okay?

And... and personally I found that this meditation is really really important to do every morning, and it makes my life... it has made my life much different, a very exciting life actually.

So, we'll go through the three steps of a good death meditation, alright? Say chiwa? Louder.

Chiwa? Ngepa. Chiwa?

Ngepa. Chiwa means death, again, same thing. Ngepa means definite, alright?

And in Buddhism we imagine death sometimes like a big animal, like a German shepherd, or a pit bull, a dog, but not like this big, but rather about this big, like the shoulders would come up to your shoulders, and these huge fangs, and... and this horrible monster on a chain, and like, he's going to get loose someday and just kill you, and that you can't stop him. Like the...

the idea that you could stop an animal like that, if you were in a small room with this animal, and he's chained up, and somebody suddenly lets him go, and there's nowhere to go, and you're in the room with this animal, and when we meditate on it, we imagine... we imagine this huge, fierce animal that wants nothing more than just to rip your throat, you know, and has the power to do it, and totally much bigger than you are, and able to do it easily, to kill you with a single swipe of their paw, or something like that, and you imagine death like that. Death is...

is like that. Death will come to you... according to Buddhism you have a karma to die at a certain time.

The karma to die is equal to the wearing out of the karma to be alive. We say that your life is like a credit card, and you get a certain amount when you're born, you get a certain amount of time, and then it just... every moment you live you're wearing it out, you see what I mean?

So, it never gets more, you never have more, you can't stop death, okay? The idea that you can stop it with some kind of doctor, or by eating healthy foods, or taking vitamins, or using cosmetics, or things like that, we say that this is naive, you know, that... you know, we have a joke in Buddhism that during the time you're in the health food store, picking out the correct foods to eat, if you spend an hour and a half in the health food store, you're one and a half hours closer to dying, you see what I mean?

And it's not a joke, you see what I mean? Like, even the time it takes to put on the cosmetics to make yourself look younger, during that time you've gotten older, and... you know, and I have a boss...

in the diamond business you see all these things, you see people are very wealthy, people have a chance to do... spend whatever they need to, you know, I have one of the executives in our company, one of the owners, she has her own... what do you call it, hairdresser, does her hair every morning, she has her personal fitness trainer come in before that, and and she...

they go through exercises together, and then she often comes to work, like maybe once a year she'll have these band-aids on her... on her neck, and she'll say, oh I ran into a door or something, and... and they're tightening up everything, you know, and...

and she looks... she's about 50, but she looks about 35, but on a bad day she looks 50, so... so...

you know, like you can... you can do all these things, you can... and imagine when somebody looks 15 years older in one...

you know, on Wednesday they look 35, on Thursday they look 50, and it looks... it's very bad, and it's real, I'm not kidding, this is the real thing, and she looks... it looks like that, and it's very sad to...

to watch her, because you can't stop it, it doesn't matter how much money you have. And... and oftentimes in New York, I don't know here, but the people with more money attract doctors who need money, or who want money, so they're constantly being tortured with these special treatments, you know, to...

really, they're much more sad, and they're much more suffering, their bodies are... are a cause for much more suffering than... than the...

than those of us who can't afford a doctor, you see what I mean? In America it's very expensive to go to a doctor, and you just try to avoid it, you know, and... but they have all the specialists they can afford, and...

and it's very sad to see them, because those doctors are always testing on them their arts, their new arts, and then they get older and older, and... and it's... and it hurts a lot, and this is the...

you can't really stop it, you see what I mean? You can take vitamins, you can exercise, like, I have friends who do yoga, they say, it's unbelievable, you know, I get 55, 60, I can still do yoga, but sooner or later you won't be able to do anything, you see what I mean? You...

the body becomes horizontal sooner or later, like, the question is, how vertical can you keep it for how long? And... and sooner or later gravity wins, you see what I mean?

It's just a question of when, and then the people who do all these, they can do a handstand, and then they can only do a shoulder stand, and then they can only sit up, and then they can only lay down, and then it wins, you know, sooner or later it always wins, you don't have a choice, everyone in this room will be horizontal, you know, it's just a question of who's first, and then who's next, and we'll all be like that, you can't stop it, you can't really even slow it down, I mean, that... we say in Buddhism, while you're slowing it down your karma is also being worn out, okay? While you go to the doctor, while you go to the health food store, while you go to the...

I went with her to the cosmetic store in Japan, oh, you wouldn't believe this stuff, it makes you 20 years younger, it was an hour and a half, you know, and... and then I thought, when she stepped out, I said, you're an hour and a half older than you were when you get it, and then I had a big argument with her boss, he works out, you know, and I said, time always destroys the body, he says, not true, if you go in a weightlift, then it gets bigger and stronger, you know, and I said, no, but while it's getting bigger and stronger visually, it's... it's two hours older, you see, I mean, it's actually deteriorating during the workout, you know, and the proof of that is that as you get older you can't work out, and...

no, it's true, it's really true, so you can't stop death, you really can't, people have tried throughout history, and you can't do it, you just can't do it, every moment your... your time is leaking away, and then even if you find something to do that's meaningful with your life, you know, we're supposed to be talking about a meaningful life today, you don't have time to do it, you see, that's the third part of a death meditation, and we have... death is certain has three parts, first one, you can't stop it, okay, second one, it's always leaking away, it doesn't matter whether you're resting or working, it doesn't matter whether you're eating or sleeping, it doesn't matter whether you're having a good time or a bad time, it's leaking away at the same rate constantly, you can't even slow it down, that's the second part of the meditation on death is certain, okay. The third part is, well, even if you decide to do something meaningful with your life, you don't have any time, okay, I mean, I worked for 15 years in a corporation, you know, you get up six o'clock, you have your breakfast, you get on the bus, you drive to work, you work eight hours, you have a, like, 15 minutes extra for lunch if you want to call somebody, you come back, you're tired, and every year you're more tired, and then maybe you have an hour in the evening, and maybe you don't, then on Saturday is recovery day, and I know, I was in corporate life, Saturday is recovery day, you don't get up till 10.30 or 11, you recover until the afternoon, then you have a little space of time, and then on Sunday you wash your clothes, you know, and even if you decide, you know, and then you become a monk, you say I'm gonna give all that up, and you go on retreat, and then in retreat you're like, you get up at four o'clock, you know, and you have to clean the room, and then you have to set up the altar, and then you have to get the meditation seat ready, and you do like an hour, then you get bored, and then you figure out some other little thing you have to do, like clean the house, or...

I mean, the point is that no matter where you are, you will figure out a way to waste your time, so that you don't have to do those practices, you see what I mean? And even if you decide to do them, you don't have any time, you see what I mean? It just goes away, the time just goes away.

This is a culture in the United States where it's normal to trade 50 weeks of your time to get two weeks to yourself. And I'm not kidding, you know, think about it, you know, what is it, 96% of your time you're willing to trade for the honor of having 4% of your time back, you know, during which time you can do your taxes and stuff. So really, you get about 2% of your time back, it's crazy, I mean, it's very weird in a culture that has been talked into that, and that you still believe it, you know, you're looking at me like, you're weird, not us, you know, and...

no, it's... people will remark, archaeologists in the future, there was a culture where they spent 50 weeks working to get two weeks to themselves, you see what I mean? And they'll say how odd it was, you see, and you've been talked into it, and you think it's normal.

And you spend the money that you don't need, you see what I mean? You earn more money than you need, and you spend more money than you have to spend, and then you're caught in this thing, so you don't have any time. I mean, death is certain from three points of view, you can't stop it, your life is always leaking away.

And then, even if you decide to do something meaningful, you can't, because your whole culture has been set up to make you work for 50 weeks to get two weeks to yourself to do something about it, and that's it. And then you'll die, like that, you can't stop it. You'll be an hour and a half closer to death when we finish tonight, okay?

Okay, second one, say nam chi, ma nge, nam chi, ma nge. Nam means the time, chi means death again, ma nge means that's not certain. You see, death is certain, but when you're gonna die is uncertain, you don't know.

And there's this myth in the Western countries, it's called average lifespan, average life expectancy, okay? And I think it just went up, they just upgraded it to 73 or something like that, okay? And really, all of us have been brainwashed, the same 50-week, two-week thing, we've also been brainwashed into believing that we can—and they don't call it average lifespan, they call it average life what?

Expectancy. You see, they're telling you you can expect to live that long, okay? Even the word is expectancy, it's a lie, it's not true, okay?

It's true for statistics, statistics only works over huge amounts of people, right? But how many are you? You see, you're just one, and statistics don't mean anything for a single case, you see what I mean?

Statistics break down when you're talking about one person. It's true that of all the Western people who are living now, the average lifespan is 70-something, but average life expectancy for one person is totally unpredictable, you don't know, it's a lie, that's a lie, and you've been—you believe it, you know, you—when you—people say you're looking good today, you know, you haven't aged a bit, you're thinking in terms of, yeah, because I'm only 40-something and I'm living till 72, you know, I still have time, you see what I mean? And you—you believe that, you really believe that.

When somebody says, is death possible, the Je Tsongkhapa says, everybody has some death meditation. Since you were young, you did some kind of level of death meditation, meaning, if I ask you, are you going to die, you say, yes, I'm going to die. And then you say, well, when?

Do you know when? And you say, no, I don't. And then your mind's already off the subject, because you don't want to think about it.

I—I was 20-something years old before I saw a dead body, you know, in my—in our culture. And I grew up a normal American, I'm not like rich, and I wasn't too poor, just in the middle, and they protect you in the United States, that—that you don't see a dead body till the—you know, they hide dead bodies. When we—one of our lamas died, and I was in the hospital with him, and they said, we have to put him in the refrigerator, you know, and I'm like, no, we have to do prayers for him before you do that, and then they said, no, no, state law, two hours, have to be in the refrigerator, you know, and—but—but part of it is, they don't want anyone to look at dead bodies, you know, it's like, considered negative or pessimistic or something, you're supposed to hide it, and our culture is very good at immediately hiding it, you know, someone dies, immediately that's out of sight, it has to be out of sight, because you're not supposed to think about it, you're not supposed to imagine it, and—and a person in America can grow to be 20-something years old without ever seeing a dead body, I had to go to India to see a dead body, then they put them on the top of the taxis and drive them around town, you know, and then it's really bad clarinet players, but really, it's quite a thing, and they're flopping off, but—but you—so, forget the idea of an average life expectancy, there's no such thing as expectancy, maybe for a whole population, but you yourself can't expect anything, you can expect to die unexpectedly, you know, most people do, almost everyone does, very few people believe that they're gonna die at a certain time, even people who are terminal think they're gonna live another day, everybody thinks it won't happen today, okay, and that's a—just a principle of death, you don't think it's gonna happen today, so forget the thing about average life expectancy, this— that's the first part of this second meditation, okay, is that there is no life expectancy for any single person, okay.

The second part of this meditation is very interesting, it's called the—it's called chikyen mang, sungkyen nyung, means the things that can kill you are countless, the things that keep you alive are very few, you see what I mean? And then they go in this very depressing meditation where you—you look around your house, you see, you—in your meditation you walk around your house from room to room, and you imagine that each of the objects that you use to stay alive can kill you, you see what I mean? The food that you eat—I had a lama who—who died, you know, taking the—he was taking—he's an old Mongolian lama, he was blind, and he had a roll on his table, and he took the roll from the table and he lifted it up like this, and he opened his mouth and he died like that, and he went into rigor mortis like that, you know, so he's—so he's like for—for an hour or two hours he's like this, you know, and—and the food, just the very food, food itself has choked many people, you see what I mean?

Many people have died on what it takes to live, you see what I mean? And—and all of the things around you that you buy, that you work so hard for, like your car, your automobile, you know what I mean? And you work so hard to get the money to buy this thing, and—and most of us will still be making payments on the day we die, you know what I mean?

Like—like it won't be paid off on the day that your car kills you, you see what I mean? The—the thing that you own, the thing that you are living for, to have, will kill you, you see what I mean? And—and sooner or later, one of the objects, if your own body doesn't kill you, then one of the objects around you will kill you, you know what I mean?

Normally it's a car, it can be a staircase in the house, you know, think of your staircase in the house as a—as a—as a dangerous enemy, you see what I mean? Like, this can get very schizophrenic, or really paranoid, you know, like you go to your house, but this med—in this meditation, you go to the house and you look, how many people have died slipping in the bathtub, really? And how many old people you know have broken their hips in the bathtub?

I mean, many, and—and never recovered, you know, I've known many, and if it's not that, it'll be something you ate, or the medicine that you take will kill you, or some doctor will kill you, you see what I mean? And I'm not kidding, I'm not saying all doctors are bad, something like that, but—but everyone in the world dies from something around them that they're—they're actually working to buy that thing, they maybe still didn't pay off that thing, they're still working to buy that thing when they die, and that thing kills them, you see what I mean? The—you slip on the stairs, you slip on this beautiful Tibetan rug you had made, you know what I mean, or something like that, you choke on the food that you're eating, you see what I mean?

The car that you're driving kills you, and something around you will kill you, if—if not your own body. In Buddhism they say that you can take your own body—and by the way, this is the third part of the meditation, okay? If nothing else, your own body will kill you.

So, you can take your body—if you get really freaked out, I had a friend in high school who—who got, I don't know, germophobia or something, and believed that they would catch a virus anywhere, so they—they had to put an oxygen tent around his bed, and—and every time he came home he'd go under the tent and—and—and breathe oxygen, and—and he was thinking that—that he'd be alright. So, you could like set this up at your house, and you have an oxygen tent around your bed, and every time you come home you crawl in there, and you turn on the oxygen, and—and then you'll be free from viruses, you know, anything. But it won't help, if you—if you don't get killed from something outside, your own body will kill you.

One of the organs in your body will malfunction and kill you. The organs that you are working so hard to please, you know, you eat the right things, you exercise the right thing, you do everything right, you go in your oxygen tent, you know, something inside of you will kill you anyway, you know, your heart, your lungs, your stomach, something will kill you. I was studying—in the gem business we have topaz, it comes from—the best one comes from Sri Lanka, and it's white, it's clear, it's colorless, and if you radiate it, it becomes blue like this lady's top, it becomes like a sky blue or ocean blue, there's two different kinds.

One is made with neutron radiation, one is made with electron radiation. So, we're sending these off to atomic reactors in Switzerland and England, and—and then I thought, well, maybe I'll call the Regulatory Commission and find out if this is dangerous, because we have to touch it all day, like the customer will wear one stone. We're holding these big bags all day, and so I call them and they say—I say, did you decide if this is a dangerous thing or not?

Because it's— everyone's doing it, and everyone uses them. And they said, no, we didn't decide yet, because—because if we decide, then we're open for legal suits later, so we won't decide. And I said, well, between you and me, is it dangerous or not?

You know, and they said, well, not really, and—and it's called low-level radiation. And I said, well, how much does it make? And they said, well, it's about as bad as standing next to bricks in your home for a long time.

I said, bricks make radiation? They said, yeah, they have emissions, bricks have, you know, radioactive emissions, and so does sunlight, and everything else. So, I said, well, how much is dangerous, you know?

And they said, well, to get cancer it takes one particle to hit one part of the DNA chain in one cell of your body, and that's all. You see? So, it's all random, it doesn't matter, you can stand next to a brick, or you can have a radioactive topaz, or you can be in Nevada next to an atomic bomb, it doesn't matter, it just needs one—one particle to hit one cell of your body.

And this is the third part of the meditation, is that your body is really very fragile. You know, there's this thing in science called the miracle of the human body, you know, everything working in perfect harmony. Forget it, you know.

I translated for the Dalai Lama's doctor, Yeshe Denden, and I asked him about, you know, they talk about the elements of the body being in balance, or the organs of the body being in balance. And I said, we think it's a miracle that they work in balance. He says, they never work in balance.

He says, that's irregular. He says, that's an anomaly, that's unusual, that's wrong. When they're working in balance, that's not normal.

To be out of balance is normal. The human body's normal condition is sickness, and it just depends how sick you are. You see what I mean?

For the body to be in perfect harmony altogether is maybe once or twice in a lifetime, and the rest of the time you're either sick or getting sick. And this is Tibetan medicine, this is how they view the body. The body itself will kill you, if nothing else, and it doesn't take anything to kill the body.

You see what I mean? Three or four minutes of this little air... No, really, it's amazing that you're still alive, it's incredible.

You know, it just takes three or four minutes of this... There's a half inch here, and somehow you have to keep it clear. You know, you laugh, but it's hard, it's really hard.

You know, some people don't manage it, and they die, you know. Then you gotta put stuff into this bag, you know, a couple times a day. You have to put food into the bag, you know what I mean?

And then the food has to be just right. And if you think about it, the entire world's effort is aimed at changing dirt and water and seeds into food. And that takes tens of thousands of people's effort for you to get a loaf of bread or something, you see what I mean?

The result of the entire economy chain, the food chain, you know, it's thousands and thousands of people working, so that you can have a loaf of bread. And it's just... it's so fragile, you know, we're talking about Y2K in America, it's this big thing, and they're just figuring out that if, you know, ten percent of the computers have a glitch on that day, nobody will get anything to eat for two weeks.

And... and... and it's like, shocking people, you know, and...

but that's the way it is, the whole chain of supply that keeps us alive. In Manhattan especially, we're thinking, you know, there are no plants in Manhattan, you can't grow there, you know? And...

and if... and if the trucks don't come in, then the stores will be empty in two days, and people just get hungry, you know? And...

and it takes a whole nation's effort to turn vast amounts of dirt and seeds and water into... into little yogurt cups that you can have in the store. It's...

it's a result of thousands and thousands of people's effort. And if there were a small disruption, your body would die, and that's it, and that's the way it'll go, you know, at some point. And it becomes more and more fragile as we get more people, and...

and more computerized, and it gets much more fragile with all the modern systems and delivery systems. It has to be right on time, or it's not going to be at all on time to feed people. And...

and so, your body requires... the things that can keep you alive are very few, and hard to come by. And then the things that can kill you are everything that kills you, plus all the things that keep you alive.

They can turn traitor on you at any time. The very things you live on, one of them will kill you. And...

and so, this is a meditation on... on... you don't know when you're going to die, you can't be sure when you're going to die.

That concludes that depressing meditation. Now we go to number three. Okay.

Say, chi tse, chö ma dok, mi pen. Chi tse, chö ma dok, mi pen. Chi tse means, and at the time that you die, okay, in the last days in this life, when you're dying, chö ma dok means...

except for the spiritual life you've led, mi pen means nothing else can help you, you see? And this is a... this meditation also has three parts, okay?

So, each of these three meditations has three parts. The first one, the meditation was that death is certain, your life is leaking away all the time, and then even if you decide to do something about it, you don't have time, okay? That's the way our life goes.

The second one was, you never know when you're going to die. And the first part of that was, the idea of average life expectancy is ridiculous, okay? The second part of that was that the things that can kill you are all around you all the time, don't get paranoid, and the things that can keep you alive are just very few.

And then the third one was that your body's basic condition is very fragile. You know, you seem... you think of it as something miraculous, and very stable, or something like that, and then, you know, I don't know anyone who's gotten cancer who really thought they were going to get cancer, you know, they always thought it was going to happen to somebody else.

And then there's this ridiculous thing in America where they say, I'm gonna beat this thing, you know? What do you mean you're gonna beat this thing, you know? Are you gonna radiate your body till it gets sick and falls apart, or are you gonna sit there and watch the tumor and try to talk it into being smaller or something?

I mean, what does it mean to beat cancer, you see what I mean? You see in the obituaries, courageous fight with cancer, you know? What's a courageous fight with cancer, you know?

I mean, it just kills you, you know what I mean? It gets bigger and bigger, and then it kills you. Maybe you cut it out, maybe they radiate your body into, like, almost dead, and then it kills you anyway, you see what I mean?

So, what does it mean to fight cancer? You see, I mean, there isn't any fight with cancer. You could cut your body up, maybe that's courageous, I guess, to let them cut your body up and radiate it, and see if you can still live.

So, when it comes back, you know, you can have another courageous fight with cancer. And the idea of a courageous fight with cancer is just funny, it doesn't mean anything, you see what I mean? So, in the third part of the meditation we start to think about, is there anything else you can do about it?

Is there anything you can do about dying, you know? Is there anything that will help you when you die? And we go through three possibilities here, alright?

First one is, is there anybody, like friends, family, doctors, who can help you as you die? By the way, we're talking as you die. You know, and I live in this temple in New Jersey, in the United States, Mongolians live there, and they're just like American Christians, they never come to temple, you know?

We're the clergy, we sit there, we hold a service on the big holidays, and we wait, you know, and nobody shows up, you know? And then a couple people dribble in, you know, and they're mostly over 60 years old, why? Because they're thinking about death, you know?

And then somebody got dragged in, you know, the kids got dragged in, and they're off goofing off in a corner, and not listening. And anyway, we do the whole service in Tibetan, and nobody knows what the heck we're saying. And it's just like that, nobody comes to temple, you don't see any of the people in the community until, you know, until somebody dies, you see what I mean?

Like, they take refuge in food, they take refuge in money, television shows, throughout their lives. When they have trouble, they call the police, or the fire ambulance, or something like that. When they get sick, they call the doctor, but when death comes, then they come to the temple.

We meet all these people we never met in years, you know? Who are you? I'm a member of this temple, you know?

I said, where'd you come from? I live down the street, you know? I said, where have you been all these years?

My mother just died, I need help. You know what I mean? And then they come, you know?

Because there's nothing else to do. So, the first part of this meditation is to think, no one else can help you, and you can't take anyone else with you. You see, if you're a person, I mean, like me, I'm constantly surrounded by other people.

I mean, from the moment I get up, until the moment I go to bed, there are like 20, 30 students in my room, and I never have a break. There's constantly people coming in, and you get used to being around other people, and you have a certain core—for me, it's core students who are around me all the time, always within a few feet, and I meet them all the time, I think— but when you die, as you die, there becomes this wall between you and them. They say in the death meditation it's like a glass wall, and you enter what we call the bardo, your mind is still functioning, but your body stops, so you leave the body, and the mind is still going, without a body for a while.

And you can see everybody, you know? You can see the people that you used to be around, and there's this experience of frustration, like you're banging on a glass wall, and they can't hear you, and they're ignoring you, and you're screaming, and you're saying, look at me, you know, and they can't hear you, and they're talking, oh it's so bad, he was such a nice guy, we didn't expect him to die in Melbourne, and at Tara House, of all places, you know, and you know, and then you're banging on this glass door, and they can't hear—we say it's like a glass wall between you and the people you used to know.

And for once, you are totally alone. You see what I mean? And I think it's especially hard for people who've been around other people their whole life, but for once, you know, no one can go with you, and no one can communicate with you, it's totally, totally alone.

So, when you do the death meditation, and when you—by the way, you know, meditation is a sort of a... I think a deceiving word, it's not like you have to be sitting in a full lotus in front of some incense, and going OM, you know, or something like that. You can do this all day long, you know, as you drive through Melbourne, and these crazy guys cut you off and stuff, you know, you can do death meditation, and you— and you should, you know, you should—I mean, all day long, according to us, you should be doing—you should be reflecting on these things.

I mean, get up in the morning, sit on the side of your bed, and think about it for a few minutes, it's okay, or as you eat your breakfast, think about it. But when you—when the time comes, people can be holding your hand, people will hold your legs, the people you love truly will cry, and they'll be crying like crazy, you know what I mean? And they'll want you to stay, and you'll still leave, you see what I mean?

That's the nature of death. The timing is always off, you know? You can't—nobody dies really at exactly the same time, you know, and the people around you won't die at the same time.

You will go, and they'll be there. And we say that you can—you're even aware of them, and you're like trying to contact them, and that you almost get angry, you know, like many... what you would call spirits or minds are very angry after dying, because people—they're trying to communicate with those people, they can see them, and they're just ignoring you, and they're talking as if you're gone already, and you're not gone, and you get like angry and frustrated, and you're making sounds, and they can't hear you.

And this is the nature of—they can't help you. As you die, when you die, all the people that you used to put hope in, and all the people that you used to find comfort in, are gone. All that support, unspoken support of the people around you, even in an audience, you know, the people sitting next to you that you don't know, there's this unspoken support, we are human, we are together, we all love each other, in the end, we're all in the same boat, and...

but in that moment you're totally alone, you can't count on other people, it's gone. And at that moment, you have only what's in your mind, you see what I mean? The body is gone.

We don't believe that the mind ever ends, it's not like the body, okay? And this you have to study Buddhism, but this is another myth of your culture and my culture. You know, we grew up, our parents told us, when the body dies, the mind dies.

You see? If the brain stops, the mind dies. When the electricity can't be measured anymore, the mind dies.

I mean, they told you that, and you believe it. Deep, deep down you believe it, that when this stops, then the mind must stop. But if you study it for a while, and you meditate on a while—it takes a while, okay?

You won't believe it tonight. If you think about your mind, your mind extends to the end of your fingers. You can...

you know, you have a conscious awareness of... if you tap your finger like that, try... okay?

I mean, your mind is at the end of your finger right then, you see? Your mind is extending to the end of your finger. Your visual consciousness is extending to me, okay?

I mean, you tend to think of your mind as trapped in your body and ending at your skin, it's not like that. Your... part of your mind is over here, on me.

The visual consciousness, the awareness of what you're seeing, can go across the room, from 50, 100 feet away. And... and what do you have in your refrigerator that you might snack on tonight, when you get home?

Is there anything there? The people who are still there, did they... what are the odds they ate it?

You know? I mean, see, your mind can go all the way home. And...

and that's not an exaggeration. I'm... it's not metaphorical, I'm not speaking symbolically.

Your... your mental awareness, as opposed to your physical senses, your sense of touch stops at the skin, and you identify with that, you think that's the edge of you. But really, if you think about it, it also extends to as far as you can see.

Your visual mind, the mind that sees, goes... the mind that's aware of what you see goes all the way to the end of the wall. And then the mind that thinks goes all the way home, or to the United States, to my refrigerator there.

I'm sure Rob ate all the... donuts by now. Okay, it's been three, four days.

You see what I mean? And the mind is not like that. We don't believe the mind dies.

We really don't believe that. I've been in all these debates, you know, I get debated constantly, people say, prove there's future lives, you know. I say, no, you prove there's no future lives.

They say, but the body stops moving. So, does that prove anything about the mind? You see what I mean?

I mean, it's a little hard to prove future lives, it's a lot harder to prove they don't exist. You see what I mean? It's a lot harder to prove that the mind must stop when the body stops.

So, I'm not going to try to convince you of that tonight. We say the mind goes on. We say the mind is not made of the same stuff as the body.

The body is made of flesh, bone, blood, okay? But the mind is... is not like that at all.

The mind can go to the wall, the mind can go home, you know. The mind isn't like that at all. You cannot weigh the mind, you cannot cut the mind, you cannot divide it into left side and right side.

We're not talking brain, okay? We're talking the... forget the brain thing, that's really dumb.

Okay? I mean, does my brain go to the end of my fingertips? No.

Can I feel my fingertips? Yes. Am I aware?

Do I have consciousness of my fingertips? Yes. Does my brain leak out to my fingertips?

No. Okay? I mean, that's just a...

when Tibetans say, I'm thinking of you, they go what? They don't go like that, they go like this, you see. They believe the mind is in the heart.

And it doesn't matter what you believe, it's cultural, okay? Oh, but when you hit the brain, you stop thinking. When you hit the heart, you stop thinking.

You see what I mean? When you cut the heart, the person dies, okay? Well, where is the mind?

You see, I mean, the mind is not made of the same stuff. Forget the idea that your mind dies when your body dies, it's not true. It's something your parents told you, and...

and it's not true, okay? Your mind doesn't stop. So, the mind goes on.

And then you're aware of what's going on around you as you die. The body stops, the mind keeps going. And then, so we think about your friends and other people, they can't help you at that moment.

They're not even aware that you're still alive. They think you died because your body's not moving anymore, okay? Then what about your things, you see?

You spent your entire lifetime... and I'm not talking greedy people, I don't believe anybody in this room is like... you wouldn't be here if you were really greedy, you know what I mean?

If all you cared about was a bigger car, a bigger house, you wouldn't be here, okay? So, I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about the people in this room.

You know, you're not like obsessed with getting bigger things and better things. You would like some bigger things. It'd be okay if you had some better things, you know what I mean?

You wouldn't mind if someone gave you a better car, you know, but you're not like gonna go out and, you know, actually murder people for that. You may murder your own health, you know what I mean? Like, you may work over work to get that, but you're not like...

nobody in this room is like, I think, like crazy about owning more things or like that. But you collect things at a reasonable rate, you know? Like, I would like a little bit of car, or I'd like to switch the couch, the couch is getting a little bad, you know, and you are willing to work the extra hours it takes to get those things.

But on the day you die, it's that same principle, the mind moves out of the body, the mind looks at all the things you used to own, and you cannot touch them. You see? There's this glass wall between you and the things you used to own, and you can see them, and you can't get to them.

And we say there's this very intense anger that builds up in a mind that's just been released from its body, and it can see those things that you worked your whole life to own, and then, you know, you're aware the kids are like throwing them out, or the kids are like selling them immediately, you know? So many parents in the United States, you say, why do you work like that, like an animal, you know? And they say, it's for my kids, you know?

And you say, what? They say, I'm working to build this house for my kids, you know? Then the kids sell the house—I did it, I know—the kids sell the house in like three months, and blow the money, within six months, you know?

And this, the parents have worked for the children, you know? And then it's gone, it'll be gone. And that's the lie of the things you—the things you own, you can't—they can't help you.

At that moment, they can't help you. They just actually get you very upset, because you're watching them, and you're watching the kids like, what is this stupid thing, you know? And they're throwing it out.

How many houses have you cleaned out? The older you get, the more houses you've cleaned out, okay? Like, once you're past 40, it becomes like a yearly thing, somebody dies, and you help somebody clean their house out, you know?

And there's all these little things that were so precious to them, you know? Photos of such-and-such a trip they made, mementos, awards they got, you know what I mean? And you're just throwing them out.

It's actually a lot of trouble to throw them out. I think there should be a rule that before people die, they should throw out all their stuff themselves, you know what I mean? So, that's the second part of the last meditation.

The third part of the last meditation is, you imagine yourself behind the glass. First, you've seen your relatives behind the glass, and your friends, and you realize they can't—and your spouse, or your children, and you realize they can't help you. And then you see all your things behind the glass, and it's good to think of them as all thrown all over the place, nobody cares anymore.

All the things you used to dust and shine, and people are just throwing them out. In New York, when you walk down the street, the big thing is space, you see? It's not hard to get things, because everybody in New York makes a lot of money, but space is different, you see?

Space is expensive. So, everybody throws out stuff immediately, you see? You get to a new apartment, new furniture, new beds, new—you can go on futons?

There's like twenty on my street every morning, it's amazing, you know what I mean? And, because there's no space to put the stuff, you see what I mean? So, people will just throw out your stuff.

All those things you think are so important to you, they'll just be junk. Your precious things are next generation's junk, and they'll just throw them out. The third one, the third part of this meditation, you walk by the glass and you see your own body on the other side, okay?

Meaning, you can't even keep this, you know? Out of all the things in the world that you worked for, this one you really worked on. This one should have its hair combed all the time before it goes out.

This one should have its skin covered before it goes out, in the best coverings available, you know? This one should be warm. Even if people in Kosovo and those places are not warm, this body should be warm, you know?

I don't—other body—I'm concerned about the pain in the world, I really am, but this body's got to have a sweater before it goes out, you see what I mean? Like, you have a—this body has to be washed with the kind of soap that I like, you see what I mean? This body has to be shaved just right, you see what I mean?

This body has to get the haircut in the right place. And all the trouble you took to take care of this body above all other bodies, you see what I mean? And that builds up, you see?

The karma, the attachment builds up a whole lifetime of making sure that this body's teeth are not yellow, you see what I mean? A whole lifetime of worrying about this particular body's things, and then suddenly they've ripped it away from you, and you watch it, you see? As you die, you watch it, and you can't get to it anymore.

And there's this body and they're starting to pump it—I went, you know, they call us to the mazo—what do you call it? The... anyway, you know, where they take a funeral house.

It's got a polite name in America, it's a funeral home. It's a home, it's not a house. And they call you, they call us, they call the monks, they say, so-and-so Mongolian just died, you know, you have to come.

And we go, and it's the most horrible thing, you know, you walk in, they're on a steel counter laid out naked on the back, and there's these tubes going out of their feet and other places, and they're draining the blood out into a sink, and then they're pumping alcohol and formaldehyde into the body, and there's this stink, there's this very distinctive stink of a dead body, and of the formaldehyde, and they're pumping in the chemicals to keep—so it will look good at the funeral in two days, you see what I mean? And to see one of your close friends sitting there with the body being pumped out, you know, the one I'm thinking of, he had a big smile on his face, I can't figure it out, but he's like, like that, and he was a close friend of mine, I never saw his legs before, now he's just naked and nobody cares, you see, it doesn't matter anymore, he's naked out on this cold steel, it doesn't matter that it's cold, because he can't feel it, and they're pumping that, and it was the horrible thing, and we had to recite prayers there for two hours, you know, over his body, try to help him, you know, and so, you'll be looking and you'll see your own body, and all the trouble you took to take care of this body becomes meaningless, you see, we're supposed to be talking tonight about what?

How to make life meaningful, that's meaningless, you see what I mean? To make sure these hairs are in the right place, to make sure these teeth aren't too yellow, you know, to make sure that this body doesn't look too fat, or wrinkly, or saggy, or whatever, it all becomes meaningless at that moment, you see what I mean? They just got you laid out naked and nobody cares anymore, you know what I mean?

And that's where you'll end up. Then slowly, worse things happen. They forget who you were, you see?

Like, people forget all your accomplishments, you know, all those things you worked so hard to achieve, you know, then people slowly forget, and then eventually they forget your name, you know? Like, oh, I remember that guy, he came and gave a lecture, what was his name? You know, I went there, I can't remember his name, you know what I mean?

And sooner or later it will be like that. You know, I'm not talking a month, two months, I'm talking—it takes six months sometimes, you know? And...

you know what I mean? And they just won't remember, they won't remember you. And people will come into where you used to live, and there'll be photographs of you, and they'll say, who was this?

And they'll say, I don't know, nobody knows, let's throw him out, just throw him out, you know? So, when you do this meditation, I find it useful, you have a dead body there, it's naked, it's lying on its back, and you can't tell who the face is. Like, the face is like, just two pits here, and a bump here, and you can't really recognize it.

It represents that, when you die, it won't matter how famous you are, how beautiful you were, or how interesting you were, or how sensitive you were, or... they won't even remember your name, much less what you were like, you see what I mean? That's what you have to look forward to.

You know, that's... so, what is meaningful? You see what I mean?

What has meaning in life? If you're gonna... if you go through all this very logically, you see, I'm gonna die.

I don't know when I'm going to die. And when you die, really all you can take with you is your mind, you see? People, things you own, and your own body, and your identity.

After a certain time in the bardo, you can't remember who you were, you see what I mean? People say, there's no past life, because I can't remember them. An hour, two hours after you've died, you cannot remember who you used to be, okay?

You can't remember anymore. The state... the consciousness during death, and there is consciousness, and you...

you will be alive, meaning your mind will be alive, is very, very similar to sleep consciousness. You see what I mean? Deep sleep consciousness.

We divide in Buddhism between light sleep consciousness, and then deep sleep consciousness. And it takes... when you're sleeping, it takes about two or three hours to get into a deep sleep consciousness.

Death, like, after about an hour or two of death, you enter a very similar state of consciousness. Like, how many of you could... could remember in deep sleep, you know, how much money is in your bank account?

I mean, to the dollar. Or... or...

or how many people in a deep sleep drive the same car? You see what I mean? Or things like that.

And you have to think like that. A few hours after you die, you won't be able to remember the details of your life any more than you do a few hours after you fall asleep. You see what I mean?

We say the state of consciousness is extremely similar. And you know, high tantric yogis, they practice, when they... they try to maintain awareness during deep sleep, so that they can maintain awareness during death, you see what I mean?

And then hopefully during death, if you have to do some holy practices at the last minute, you can do it, it's called PAW, you know? And by practicing your whole life, to be aware, for example, in your deep dream state about high spiritual principles like karma and emptiness, if you can do that while you're in a deep state of sleep, then you have a chance while you're dying, you see? And...

and we can't. Normal people cannot. So...

so we say there's an alternate death meditation, you know? Like, that's a very holy practice, and what it means is, during deep states of meditation, you practice to remember very important spiritual things when you're in deep sleep. And when you get good at doing it in deep sleep, then you'll be able to do it just after you die.

And then you'll be able to direct your mind where you want to go, or something like that. For normal people, this is out of the question, you know? If...

the... we just did taxes in America, I don't know, I'm really into the... I'm thinking about my taxes, you see?

We have to do them by April 15th, I don't know what it is in Australia, but... and everybody does them themselves, and it's very traumatic. And...

and... and there's thousands of lines, you have to... it feels like thousands of lines you have to fill out, and it feels like it's threatening, because they'll audit you, and they'll come to your house, and they'll bang on the door, and they'll say, you know, why didn't you put that $5 that they gave you, you know?

And you're like, oh, I forgot, and they'll say, forget it or not, you have to pay a fine, you know? And... and maybe penalty of jail, you know?

So, you're like, always thinking about... it's a very stressful time for Americans, April 15th, and if you haven't done them yet, which is me, you know, it's even more stressful. But will you remember those details of that in your dream?

You know, you might dream about the IRS coming and banging on your door, you know? But you're not gonna dream about each line, and what you're gonna write on each line, that's the kind of consciousness you have to have if you're gonna die that way, to do some high secret practices during the death state, you know, it's impossible, it's very hard. There's an alternative, okay?

And... and we're gonna talk about that. I mean, this is just like normal advice for normal people to make your life meaningful.

Because death meditation is supposed to be for that. It's very interesting. Death meditation is not supposed to make you feel the way you feel right now, okay?

It's not supposed to be some depressing thing, where now I finally got your mind on your death, and you're thinking how much you're gonna miss your wife or something like that, or your dog or something like that, okay? It's not like that. What's supposed to happen when you do a good death meditation like this, is exactly the opposite, you see?

You're supposed to get up in the morning and say, I have to die. I don't know when I'm gonna die. Nothing else can help me.

I'm gonna do something now, okay? I have to do something, I have to do it now. And I have to do something that can go with me, okay?

Like, don't try to collect new objects because they can't go with you, you see? I mean, don't try to get new friends because they can't go with you. Do something now that can go with me, you see what I mean?

And then there's this thing, and this is what I really want you to get to, if you don't get to anything else tonight. If somebody says, what did they talk about at Melba Hall? You know, and you say, they're talking about death meditation.

And then you say, what's it feel like? And then you have to say, the goal of death meditation is this, at every moment during your life, you are thinking, I'm going to die tonight. You see what I mean?

At every moment during the day, throughout the day, you are thinking, I'm going to die tonight. Now, what do I want to do with my time? You see what I mean?

And that's a good death meditation. You see, I'm afraid that most people who study death meditation, they get to all that depressing stuff that I just went through. The goal of all that is to get your mind to this.

Move your mind to this. If I was going to die tonight on the way home from Melba Hall, what would I be doing right now? You see what I mean?

And if you do a good death meditation, what happens? Imagine spending one day of your life doing only those things that you really wanted to do. You see what I mean?

Like, if you believe that you're going to die tonight, now, what would happen to the things in your life? You know, count the things you do during the day, count the people you see during the day, and count the possessions you have. Now, what would you do about them?

If you know you're going to die tonight, you know, I think you'd immediately give some of them away. You see what I mean? Like, the non-essential ones.

Okay? Okay? I mean, really, your house would become very much like a Zen monastery or something, you know?

No, your house would—you wouldn't have junk, because you'd say, oh, I have a niece who would appreciate that, you know, let me get that to them, you know, make sure they get something. And your house would become simplified, you see what I mean? As far as possessions, you would start to divest things.

You'd say, oh, let's see, I don't need that, I don't need that, I'm gonna die tonight. Now, there's either a choice of my kids throwing it out, or I give it away to someone who might like it. And then, if you had this state of mind every day, you see, your house would quickly become like a monastery, you know, it'd become clean.

It'd just become clean. The only things around you would be the most important things for your spiritual life, and you'd get rid of all the other ones, you see what I mean? And that's the whole idea of a death meditation, okay?

Is to think, I'm going to die tonight, now let's get rid of all this stuff, let's give it away to someone who might need it, you know? You don't need two coats, you see what I mean? You don't need twelve pairs of shoes.

Get the ones you don't wear every day, I mean, that's why monks and nuns are supposed to have two pairs of clothes, that's it. One to wear while you're washing the other one, you see what I mean? And junk the rest, you see, you don't really need it.

And use it, you see, Geshe Dage, my sweet first teacher, used to say all the time, you know, while you're alive you have power to do something with this stuff, ten minutes after you die you don't have any power anymore to do anything about it, so you give it away now, you know, you might die tomorrow, you might die tonight, give it away, you know, give all this stuff away to someone who can use it, you see what I mean?

And then your whole life becomes much more clean. I'll tell you something, it's very interesting, where's your car right now? In New York you never know.

Okay, but anyway, no, I mean, if I say where's your car right now, then your mind goes to this parking lot somewhere, or something like that, you know? It means that a certain amount of your mind, space, which is finite, which is limited, is being used up to track that car, you see what I mean? A certain amount of the memory cells, if you want to say it that way, certain megabytes of memory are being occupied by trying to remember where that possession is, okay?

Now, where are all your shoes? How many shoes do you have? You see, how many shirts or blouses do you have, and what different colors are there?

You see, and you have to remember all that stuff, how many books do you have, how many CDs, what kind of music do you like, do you have that CD? You see, and a certain part of your mind is used up, it really is, honestly, and your mind is limited, it has limited space, and then the more possessions you have, the more liabilities you have, because you are selling that space to that object, you see what I mean? Instead of using it for something creative, beautiful, happy, exciting, that part of your mind has been sold, and like, cement block put around it, you know?

You can't use that part for creative things, for exciting things in your life, because you have to remember where those blouses are, you see what I mean? And what color they are. No, really, and you limit your capacity to be fresh, and happy, and creative, because that, those percentage of your mind has been reserved for tracking those things you own, you see what I mean?

So, what happens in a death meditation? What happens if you do this meditation well? You gain back your mind, you see?

For creativity, you become more fresh, excited, whole—it's very vibrant, you know, a person who's doing good death meditation is like, turned on all the time, they're like, oh yeah, we can do this, we can do that, you know, you know what, we could twist it that way, we could turn it that way, we could do this kind of thing, you know, and your mind, your creativity level, you know, whether you're into art, or music, or writing, or it doesn't matter, whatever you do, business, but—but your mind gets freed up, because it's not occupied, you know, you gain back all that memory, short-term RAM and hard disk space, both, and—and you can be excited about things, because you have room to, and you're not like—like, people who own too many things, their mind is like, just frozen, because they—they have to remember where those things are, you see what I mean?

So, that's the first result of a good death meditation, okay? The—the relationships you have that don't really have much meaning, the activities you—you do, certain like watching television, reading long newspapers and magazines, things like that, if you were going to die tonight, would you sit and read the newspaper for an hour? You know what I mean?

Really. So, get that in your mind, that's a true death meditation. A true death meditation would lead you to be more creative, more vibrant, more excited, more creative, you see what I mean?

Because you're not thinking about all that stuff, and you wouldn't worry about, you know, the stuff that's reported on the third page of the newspaper and—and down, you know what I mean? Because it doesn't matter, it doesn't really matter to a person who's going to die tonight, you see what I mean? So, if you—if you're doing a good death meditation, you should be thinking about all the things you really wanted to do before you died.

And I say you go through this process, okay? If you knew you're going to die tonight, first of all, you'd try all those things you wanted to try. I can think of skydiving, hang gliding, you know, why don't you do those things?

Because you're afraid you'll hurt yourself, but if you're going to die tonight, who cares? You see what I mean? Go out and surf the Great Barrier Reef, who cares?

You see, it doesn't matter, if you get hurt or you don't—so, I die with a scratch on my arm, I don't care, you know what I mean? So, you would try all the things you really wanted to try. And by the way, I'm hoping they would be legal and moral, okay?

I mean, I'm not counting all the drugs you thought you might want to try and stuff like that, okay? Because you'd want to die in a clear frame of mind, and you'd want to die with a clear conscience, you see, I mean, that's very important. So, I mean, think of all the things you really want to do, and if you get into death meditation, the first thing is you cut all the possessions that you don't need, and you win back part of your mind.

But then the second result is that you start to try all the things you really wanted to do with your life, in a worldly way, you see what I mean? Like, you might change your career quite suddenly, you know? People say that other people—there's like these studies that say people only change their careers when a spouse dies, or when they get divorced, or other—it has to be something—they have a life- threatening experience, or something like that, but if you do a good death meditation, you will look at your career and say, I don't really want to do that, I always wanted to do this, but there wasn't any financial security in it, but who cares, I'm dying tonight, you know what I mean?

You see what I mean? And a person who does a good death meditation—I'm not saying be irresponsible, it's not the same thing—you can live on a quarter of what you live on now, forget it, sell all that crap, give it away, and win back your time, then you can take a job that doesn't pay so well, that's okay, but if it's what you really wanted to do, you see what I mean? Death meditation lets you free, it sets you free.

So, you would give up the things that you're doing to support your lifestyle, which is four times more expensive than you need, you quit all the subscriptions to all the magazines, you see what I mean? Win back your time, win back your money, you see what I mean? And give up those careers that don't really interest you, and then try it, go for it, you're gonna die tonight, who cares?

So, I say you go through a worldly stage where you try all this exciting stuff, okay? Then what happens? What happens if you don't die for a week?

Okay? The new career becomes just as boring as the old one, okay? The thing you thought would be more interesting, and that person you thought would be more interesting, becomes just as boring as the current one, you know what I mean?

That's human nature, you know, don't put too much hope in that, you see what I mean? I mean, you will have more satisfaction out of it, out of trying to do something you always wanted to do, but the bottom line is this, after a while at that, the nature of your mind and my mind is that your mind makes them boring, and your mind makes them dull, you see what I mean? You can change to a new career which is more exciting, or a new spouse is more exciting, and within a year they'll be as boring as the last one, because it's not them that's making it boring, it's you that's making it boring, you see what I mean?

And if you go through all the stuff you always wanted to do, and stop, and try them—by the way, do it, okay, go ahead, do a good death meditation, and quit the stuff you used to do that's not really interesting to you, and it's not really fun to you, and try something which is more interesting and more fun. But what you'll find is that, in the end, it's the really deep spiritual things that are very fun, that are very interesting, you see, in the end you'll find out that it's not to live in a different city, it's not to have a different spouse, it's not to have a different job, after a while your mind makes them boring anyway, it doesn't matter where you go, and it doesn't matter who you're with, what's making things boring is your own mind, and it will make any exciting thing boring after a while, you see?

It's your own mind, so you got to get down to what's the most interesting thing to do, what's the most exciting thing to do with your life, okay? And I'll give an example, I was on a plane flight in Chicago, we were coming into Chicago O'Hare Airport, and the plane starts circling, and they're not landing, and this is normal for Chicago, because it's so crowded, and it circles for about 10 minutes, and then they start going like this, they start going up, and then they drop like that, and then they bottom out like that, and they go up again, and we're like, whoa, what's going on, you know? And we're like getting scared, we thought there's something wrong with the plane, and they go, then they go like this, and then they suddenly go like that, and then the stewardess comes out of the, down the aisle, and she's like shaking like this, and we're like, oh man, something's wrong, you know? And she's starting to sweat all over, you know?

And we were really scared, everybody was scared in the plane, and they were looking at her, and then they get on the loudspeaker, and they say, we have a problem with the landing gear, and we're trying to shake it loose, we, it's, apparently, it's not, you know, no, really, and it's not, it's not coming down all the way, and so we think it's like halfway down, and we can't tell, and it was a very foggy day, when they said, we're gonna fly near the control tower, and see if they can see if the wheels are gone, so we go down close to the runway, we buzz the runway a few times, and they can't see us, because it's so foggy, they can't see if the wheels are down properly, so, so we go back up, we start circling around again, and then this lady's getting really, and everybody sits her down in the back, and at this point, no one's complaining about the movie, no one's, no one's worried about the food, it's very quiet, everything's quiet, you know, it's very strange in the plane, because everybody's starting to think, they're starting to do what? Death meditation, you see?

Really, seriously, a few people are starting to write their relatives, and I think that's funny, you know, because they think, I'm gonna burn up, but this little piece of paper won't, you know, and there's this feeling, starts in the plane like that, and everybody's getting more scared, and then they, they say, we're gonna circle for 45 minutes, until we use up the fuel, because if we crash with a, with any fuel in the tanks, you'll burn up faster, so, you know, they didn't say it that way, but, but the idea is to, to land, is to land with no fuel, so we have 45 minute intense death meditation, you know, and they're just going around in a circle, and then they come on, and they say, we're gonna practice crashing, you know, and everybody should, and this is real, this is, and it was not funny at the time, and, and they said, anybody with shoes, high-heeled shoes, anybody, if you can't run in your shoes, take them off now, you know what I mean?

Like, if you have high-heeled shoes on or something, take them off, if you have jewelry on your fingers, take it off, because it will melt, and burn your fingers off, you see? It's so depressing thing, you know, so everybody's like trying to get their wedding rings off, and stuff like that, and then, and then they said, we're gonna practice sitting correctly, so, you got down, and you put your head between your knees, and you put your hands over like that, and the problem with that position is that you're totally alone, you know, you can't see anybody else, and all you can do is hear, and you can hear the plane, and you can, and it's totally quiet, except for the stewardess, who's broken down, and she's like sobbing, you know, and, and, and all you can, all you can do is close your eyes and listen, you know, and it's like a really intense death meditation, you know, and then a very weird thing happened in the plane, and I'm not kidding, this beautiful, beautiful thing happened where everybody started to love everybody else, and I never felt, ever since, I never felt anything like that, and everybody was talking to each other, and holding each other, these total strangers, in New York you can commute for, I did, 15 years, no one ever talks to you on the bus, nobody, you know, in New York you don't talk to other people, they might shoot you, or stab you, or, you know, there's a rule, you don't even make eye contact, you keep your eyes down, just to watch them, you know, and, and on this plane, suddenly all these, all these barriers melt between people, completely, you know, and people are hugging each other, and, and holding each other's hands, and, and reassuring each other, and everyone, a couple people get up and go back and help the stewardess, and, and people are just wandering around the plane, milling around the plane, like, hugging each other, and talking, and, and reassuring each other, and it was just, that's like bodhicitta, you know, that's like this compassion came out of everybody, because everything else didn't matter anymore, you see what I mean? Nobody cared about the movie, or the food, or this guy next to me is fat, I don't get that much of the arm rest, you know, and all of these petty concerns, all of the small things that don't matter when you know the plane's going down, you see what I mean?

All the little things that don't matter, became meaningless, you see? And we're supposed to be talking about what? Making life meaningful.

If you do a good death meditation, all that stuff falls away, you see what I mean? If you wake up every morning and do the meditation that I described, all these little arguments with people you don't like, all this little concern, what this guy talks to me, how they treat you, all your little financial problems, they all become meaningless, you see what I mean? You see them for what they really are, in light of your mortality, they don't matter.

None of that stuff matters, it doesn't matter what the newspaper says, it doesn't matter what the magazines say, whatever is on television tonight is irrelevant, it just doesn't matter, you see what I mean? What really matters, and the deepest practice at that point, is other people, you see what I mean? And you find out, you see, when you're gonna die, and your mind is clear, then the important thing is other people.

And so, we do, at the end of a death meditation, we do, we call it breaking down the barrier between you and me, okay? It's called dakshin yam je. It's called exchanging self and others, but it doesn't mean that.

It means that you practice breaking down the distinction between yourself and other people, you see what I mean? And it's very cool, like, there's three steps to it, you ready? And I'll make it short, I know it's getting late.

And that's what the reading you have is about, eventually. This is Master Shantideva, a very holy Buddhist saint, but he says three steps to a death—after you've done your death meditation, and after you've tried all the things you wanted to do, bungee jumping and everything, okay? Which I still haven't done.

After you get rid of all those things, then you start doing this, the ultimate death meditation, which is to, is to think about other people, you know, get into other people. And the first step is to watch them and see what they want, you see what I mean? And like, if you go into a Tibetan monastery, the monks there are so trained, I mean the good ones, they watch your eyes, you see what I mean?

The minute you walk in the room, they're watching your eyes, and they're seeing what you look at, and where your eyes stop for just a second. Your eyes are like a fly, and they go around to the objects in the room, you know, and then they stop at the things you like, just for a second, and then they move on. But, when you go into like a real Buddhist monk's room in Tibetan monastery, they're watching your eyes, very politely, like very...

you don't know they're doing it even, you know, and they're watching your eyes, and they're seeing where do your eyes stop, what do you like? And within a day, they know your favorite food, they know your favorite drink, they know what you like to talk about, and this is the first step of that death meditation, the end of the death meditation, watch other people, and serve them, you see? Because ultimately the most satisfying thing to do with your life is to serve others, you see?

So, you're watching them, and you're seeing what does this person like? What do they want to talk about? What do they want to watch on TV?

What temperature do they like the room to be? You know, what do they like to drink? What do they like to eat?

How often do they like it? When do they want to be alone? And when do they want to be with me?

You see what I mean? And everything is what they want, and forget what you want. And this is the way to give real meaning to your life, you see?

And you're just watching people. This is step number one, where you just dakshin-nyamje, meaning exchange yourself with others in the sense of, just watch them, and see what they would like, you see what I mean? That's the first step.

And if you really get to know a good Buddhist, they're doing it what we call transparently, like you're not aware that they're doing it. You just always have what you like to drink in front of you. And you stop thinking about it after a day or two, you're just expecting it actually.

You know what I mean? Like, you go to their house, and suddenly the stuff that you like, what you like is served to you, and what the other person likes is served to this other person, and if you bring a third person, they already know what they like. So, they're making tea, orange juice, and a glass of ice water, with two cubes of ice, and not three.

You see what I mean? And they, they're watching you, okay? And they're trying to fulfill what you want.

And then we do a second stage of it, is to actually put your mind in their body. And this is very cool. So, you imagine you're sitting in the fourth row, and you're watching this guy, you know, and what you're thinking, you know, like, I hope he finishes soon, you know, because they got bickies afterwards, you know, and...

you know, and you actually put your mind in their body, so instead of watching them and watching what they like, you actually, you actually insert your mind into their body, and you are watching you. You see what I mean? And this is the second step of the meditation.

You are watching you talk, and you are watching, you are hoping that you will say something interesting and nice and inspiring, you see what I mean? And, and in the, in the book it gets confusing, in Master Shantideva's book it actually gets confusing, who's talking, you see what I mean? So, the second step is to actually put your mind in the other person's body, and then you start to try to fulfill their emotional needs, you see what I mean?

You start thinking, what, what would they like emotionally, you see, which is a much higher level than physical. You see, it's one thing to watch another person and anticipate what they would like to drink or eat, but it's another level to anticipate what they would like to talk about, or, or how they're feeling right now, and to do that you have to put your mind in their body, you see what I mean? And that's, that's some kind of a higher, higher level, okay?

Then we get to what we call like the supreme level, which is like anticipating their spiritual needs, because in the end that's, that's all they can take with them when they die, you see what I mean? And, and this one is really cool, you, you imagine that you and them are one body, you see, so now instead of worrying about one pair of gloves, you have to think about two pairs of gloves, seriously, and instead of just worrying about your robes, you also have to worry about this dress down here, you know what I mean? And you actually are them, together you are one body, you see what I mean?

Together you are one person, and you start to expand yourself to include other people, literally. Like, it's just as important that she gets her coat when we go, as it is when I get my coat, because I have two sets of shoulders, and I have to keep two sets of shoulders warm when we leave tonight, you see what I mean? And this is a very profound meditation, you know, where you actually, you know, when you eat, you're saying, I have to cook twice as much, because I have two mouths, and I have two stomachs, and the music has to be for four sets of, four ears, and like that, and you just imagine that yourself is bigger than yourself, okay?

Then in the book, you know, this is the last thing, okay? In the book, especially there's a commentary by one of Tsongkhapa's students named Gyaltsabje, and he says, there's all these objections brought up by whom? By your selfish mind, okay?

What are the objections? I'm not her, I'm me, okay? I don't feel it when she gets cold, but I feel it when I get cold.

Your idea that I could be hers is, is naive, I mean it's nice, it's noble, but, but to say I'm her is, it's too much. And I stick a pin in her hand, I don't go, ouch, and I stick a pin in this hand, I go, ouch. Therefore, I'm not her, okay?

It's clear that I'm not her, so why should I worry about her as much as I worry about myself? It's, it's noble, sounds like it'd be interesting experiment, it'd be expensive. I mean, I have to dress her and dress me too, you know what I mean?

And make sure she had a place to stay, and make sure I had a place to stay, because we're both the same person, we're both one person, you see, I mean, and that would be impractical, interesting. And then Gyatsobje says, well, let's see, if people are going down the street, smashing car windows, do you get upset? You say, yeah, I get kind of upset.

Well, do you get upset when they reach your car? And you say, yeah, I would get more upset when they reach my car. So, in a sense, you are extending yourself to the car, you see what I mean?

That has now become a part of yourself. You already do this meditation, you just limit it, you see what I mean? If you feel the same when they smash other people's windows, and your windows, then you can say yourself is not extending to that car.

But if you say you get more upset when they smash your window, than when they smash other people's windows, when they send scud missiles to other people's homes, but not to your home, you see, then it's okay, you see what I mean? If that's all right, then you've extended yourself to your home, you see what I mean? Your home should be taken care of, but not other people's homes, you see what I mean?

But you're already doing that, you see, you're already spreading yourself to your home. So, the idea of where the self begins, and where the self ends, is your decision. That's just a decision.

You know, animals get caught in a trap, you know this thing where they chew their own leg off, because the body has to survive? That's a decision to limit the self to less than the body, you see what I mean? You can do that.

Your self can stop here. If you get very badly hurt here, and the doctor says will you agree to cut your arm off at the elbow, you say it'll save your life, you say yes, of course, you see what I mean? So, you can decide to extend yourself to less territory, it's a decision.

Or you can decide to extend it beyond her back, and so now I have to worry about her clothes as much as I worry about my clothes, because it's my clothes. They say, how do bodhisattvas, these great bodhisattvas, you know, we'd all like to be like them. I mean, I have this secret jealousy thing about bodhisattvas, you know?

Like, I read stories about somebody reaching into their eye socket, and tearing out their own eyeball, because somebody else needs it, you see what I mean? I mean, we're not talking a surgical removal or something, we're talking in the old days. Just actually reach into the socket, and pull your own eye out for someone else, you know, and I get jealous, I'm thinking, I wish I could do stuff...

You know, it's very uplifting, you read about Gandhi, you know, taking those hits, you know, and just doing it for the sake of humanity, you know, and you get jealous, you know, I can't even stand it when somebody drinks my latte, you know, and... I'm not kidding, I'm not kidding, everybody would like to be that noble. We have a human urge and a human need to be one of those Mother Teresas, you want a Dalai Lama, you know, you want to be like that, but you can't be.

Something's holding you back, and the... and the trick is, when they do that stuff, they're not doing it for somebody else, they've redefined themselves, you see what I mean? When they give food to someone else, they're feeding themselves.

That's the secret, that's the secret, and they didn't tell you, you see? There's a secret weapon, it's to redefine yourself. So, when I give up what I want to eat, and give it to another person, it's not difficult because I'm feeding myself, you see what I mean?

And the self, where the self starts and where the self ends is... is a decision. It's up to you where you decide, okay?

It's totally up to you, the whole idea of emptiness in Buddhism, or ascription of the self is very much tied into that. You decide where your self ends, and most people do it at the edge of the skin, which is just stupid. I mean, why not do it an inch longer?

Why not do it an inch shorter? What does it matter? You know, what you'll find is that, the thing that really makes life meaningful, extend it to other people, and start with those three steps, okay?

First step, watch them. What do they want? What do they like?

You know, what I'm saying is that, after you try skydiving, hang gliding, and bungee jumping, and maybe some light drugs that you haven't tried yet, okay? Then you've tried to change your career, and you've dumped your old wife for a new one, or something like that. But what you'll find is that, they don't...

if you're gonna die tonight, here's something that will make you happy, truly happy, you see? And that death meditation, you gotta try it, okay? Death meditation, if you get good at it, you should start giving stuff away.

But, should we start tomorrow or tonight? Should we start at the reception, you know? Yes, okay?

Start at the reception, okay? Because we're talking death meditation. Death meditation means, I'm gonna die right now, tonight.

Now, I'm gonna make the time meaningful. When I walk in there, I'm gonna try to say something meaningful, instead of just joking around about some dumb thing or something, you know what I mean? And that's a real death meditation.

I'm gonna take back my life, and my mind space. Get rid of all that stuff you don't need, you know? Just get rid of it.

Give it away tomorrow as if you were going to die. And your house will clean out, and suddenly you'll be a more creative person, and more happy person. Really, it works.

It's like Christmas morning, every single day. It's very, very, very exciting. And your whole life changes, and you're able to do stuff you never dreamed of.

And even if you don't believe in future lives, or blah blah blah, compassion, forget it, your whole life will be a lot more happy. Even if there's no such thing as a future life, which there is, you'll still be a lot happier if you just cut all that stuff out, and dump all the things you don't need, as if you're going to die tonight. That's a true death meditation.

Ultimately, the only thing that will really make you happy, is to fool around with this idea of yourself. Okay? And the only, you know, after you try all those other career change, bungee jumping, and you know, all those other things, what you'll find is that the thing that really makes you happy, if you're gonna die tonight, is to take care of others.

And I'm not gonna say as if they were you, but who are you? You see what I mean? And that's the natural human need, you want it, you're just afraid.

It's like changing your career, you see what I mean? You're just not used to it. Take care of this person, who is you, you see what I mean?

Feed them, feed that mouth as if it were this mouth, because it is, you see what I mean? And in this meditation, when you get to the higher parts of it, we say, try to identify the common enemy, okay? Like, it's one thing to make sure she gets fed tonight, but something like anger or jealousy, you see?

Then try to remove it from her mind as if it were in your mind, you see what I mean? And try to remove that kind of suffering from other people. And then you get into very cool territory, you see?

I refuse to allow jealousy to go on in my immediate world, whether it's in my mind or someone else's mind, because it hurts, you see? It becomes a war against the dirty things in the world, no matter whose mind it's in, you see what I mean? And then it's very compelling, it's very interesting.

You know, as you get higher in your Buddhist practice, you get to a point where your own mind is starting to get more and more peaceful, and there's this temptation not to worry about other people's minds, but then sooner or later they disturb your peace also, you see what I mean? You can't put up with unpeaceful minds anywhere. We have to search out and destroy negative emotions, no matter where they are, because ultimately we are not separated.

That's just a decision to separate us, but ultimately they will make you miserable if they exist—if one person in this room still has jealousy a year from now, it'll make the rest of us miserable. We have to go after that, and destroy it. So, this is a higher kind of perception of the people around you.

Stop thinking of them as somebody else, and then you don't have to be—then it's not so hard to be nice to them, because you're just being nice to yourself, okay? And the decision that they are someone else is just a fiction in your mind. You decide.

You decide if this person is you or not. You decide whether those people get fed or not. And then what happens is very interesting.

You create a Buddha paradise. It's very, very interesting, and I'll leave you with that. If you treat this person as if they were yourself, and if you feed this person because they are you, and if you share everything you have equally with other people, the karma of that is that there's more than enough for everybody.

It's very interesting. If you have one loaf of bread and one fish, you know, and you really believe that this person is me, and there's only enough to feed one person, but you split it because they're you. It's me, one person, right?

She and I are one person, so I have to split it. And the karma of that is that if you collect all the stuff that's left over after we both ate as much as we could eat, there's more than what you started with. That is a Buddha paradise.

You see, that's how you create a Buddha paradise. It's very, very interesting. The karma of sharing with everyone, because you really believe they are you, is that everybody has more than enough.

There's more left over than when you started with. That's how a Buddha paradise operates. It's very interesting.

You can get enlightened this way, you see? Last thing to say is that ...how many last things? Okay.

If you do the death meditation well, if you start acting like this, the fish and the bread thing, you don't have to die. You see, this body will change also. If you take care of other people's bodies with—I mean, I'm sorry, it's my body, it's just got more arms, right?

Okay? If you take care of your extended body now, that way, getting to a paradise means that there'll be enough things for everybody, and it also means that your body will start to change, and this—the blood, the bone, the other things begin to change, and they get younger. The process of aging is reversed, okay?

And if you keep it up, you know, if you keep it up fairly sincerely for a period of time, your body—the sicknesses in your body, the things that hurt, they start to change, and they start to get better, and then slowly the body begins to transform, okay? And that's something that's caused by the purity of your own mind. So, you see your body as becoming younger, and getting stronger and stronger.

People tell me, oh that's wishful thinking, the Buddha never taught that. And I say, in the middle of the Heart Sutra, in the most, you know, dramatic part, it says ... ...

which means that, if you really understand all the stuff I talked about tonight, marigbame means, if you stop your failure to understand that we are this one person, and if you treat everyone as if you're one person, then your own body will start to get younger, and it reverses. It really does. That's the idea of tantric practice, okay?

The idea of tantric practice is, it's not to like, go look at these cute pictures of Tara, who's got this nice white body, and is so happy and pure and everything, you can actually become her. That's the whole point of Buddhism, is to become like her, or to become her. And the way to do it is to treat other people—oh, sorry, treat yourself like that, okay?

And the karma of that is that you start to change. Now, how many people did that? How many people you've seen like that?

How many Taras are running around in Melbourne? You know, at Tara Institute? You see, I haven't seen anybody, so I don't believe it.

His Highness is getting old, I can tell, you know what I mean? This is a very interesting thing, it's the emptiness of another person, you see? And I don't have time tonight to talk about it, you can come on the weekend, okay?

I'll sell that. By the way, the whole weekend is about how you get to be like that, okay? The whole weekend is how you get to be like that, how you change.

But you might start seeing yourself in a certain way, and other people might not see it. You see, that's the whole point. The emptiness of you is that you will start to change in your own perceptions, which is real, and then other people might not see it the same way, okay?

And that's the emptiness of your body. I'm not going to talk about it much tonight, but it has happened, many people have done this. Have you seen it?

No. Have you seen people walk on water? No.

Does it mean it's impossible? No. Okay?

I mean, it happens, it's just that if you don't have the purity of mind, you're always looking the other way, okay? When it happens. Seriously, I'm not kidding, okay?

The karma of not knowing these things and not practicing these things is that you would swear no one's done it, because you would never meet them, okay? And the more you practice them, the more you bump into people who have done it, you see? So, really, the goal of Buddhism is to ...

is to change everything about your body and your mind. You don't have to die like this. We say this realm called the desire realm is a mistake.

It's a ... it doesn't work right. It's broken.

This realm is broken. It doesn't matter how much you work, you have to die in this realm. It doesn't matter how smart you are, you'll die in this realm, you see what I mean?

It doesn't matter how handsome, or intelligent, or creative, or sensitive you are, in this realm it just doesn't work right. Nothing works right. You have to lose everything you work for, you have to leave all the people you love, and everything gets torn away from you in this realm.

But this is not the only realm, that's very—what do you call it? Parochial to think that way. There are other realms.

Where are the other realms? In the same room, okay? And the people in those realms who may be sitting next to you may be experiencing something completely different, okay?

And the key to do that is to do a good death meditation, so you stop—you stop having your mind taken—space taken up by all these useless things. You do a good—you eliminate all that stuff from your life, and then you start practicing this really cool idea of a bigger me, okay? You start feeding other people because you're feeding yourself, because you is hungry, you see what I mean?

When she's hungry, I'm hungry, so I have to feed me, you see what I mean? And when you start doing that, then you become a Buddha very quickly, all right? And that makes life meaningful, all right?

That's all, and I'll see you after that, okay? All right.

[Говорящий 2]
Thank you.