Дебаты дьявола с ангелом, часть 19: Пять домов, курс 1 (2025, Аризона), занятие 1

[Speaker 1]
Okay, so when we were planning this retreat, Tim and I, and we were thinking about what classes to do. It's bad luck in Buddhism not to finish a teaching. Like the last Lam Rim, we took 12 years, but we finished it.

We should give ourselves a hand. There's another important teaching. It's called DANG DZIN ZHANG BDEBS which means, say DANG DZIN.

ZHANG BDEBS DANG DZIN means the tendency to think the pen is coming from the pen. Grasping to a pen that was made in a factory and not from you. You see what I mean?

When you believe that the pen was made in a factory, you have this mental illness called DANG DZIN and everybody has it. Even when you're teaching the pen, you have it. That's funny.

But it's very, very old and it's inside of you. ZHANG BDEBS means hassle between two people. In America, we have a special thing.

Sometimes you can see it if you visit. It's called road rage. Drivers hit each other by accident or something and they both get really angry and they jump out of their car and they start...

My friend said he got road rage. He hit somebody in Rim Rock, not Stanley. He got out of his car and he's going to yell at the guy and the guy shows a gun and he goes, you know, it's cool.

So that kind of meeting somebody is called ZHANG BDEBS. In Tibetan, it's called ZHANG BDEBS. It means like a fight, fight meeting, something like that.

So in this book, it's a long book of poetry. It's called The Fight Between the Good Part of Your Mind and the Bad Part of Your Mind. It's a bitter fight.

It's like a road rage fight. My teacher introduced it to me many years ago, probably 35, 40 years ago. He taught it to us.

It's very long and he could not finish. He died before he could finish. It's kind of bad luck to not finish.

So I thought I would like to teach it and I would like to finish the translation. Then I feel like I finished it. It's an amazing book.

It's a fight in your own mind. It's like your own mind is split into two and the good side and the bad side. Like devil and the angel are fighting with each other.

It's an amazing conversation. It's a conversation that we have all the time. Like, oh, this guy really did hurt me.

Then you say, no, it's the, remember the pen? He said, yeah, I know about the pen thing, but this guy's different. No, we all say that every day.

We all say it a hundred times every day. I do it every day. I sit in my outhouse, freezing bottom.

What's the cruelest thing you can do to a mama? Put them in Kyoto, all the toilets are warm. They have electricity in the sea.

It's like, I feel like I'm in paradise. Then I come back to Daimyo in my outhouse. I actually stand up and I say, I don't know if I can sit down.

Then I sit down. Anyway, even then, I'm arguing in my own mind. My own mind is fighting with my own mind.

It's a beautiful, beautiful book. We started it, what year, Tim, do you remember? I don't know.

We started it 14 years ago. We're still working on it. I don't have much time to teach it, but I refuse to give up.

I'm just stubborn. If you are following Diamond Way, if you're a Diamond Way person, maybe the Buddha sent this book to you this time. Maybe you can't say yes for sure and you can't say no for sure.

It's possible that your Diamond Way path is with this book also. Maybe this book is supposed to help you in your Diamond Way. I take it that way.

I'm not finished with it. It's going to take another three, four years, probably. I want to finish it.

It's never been translated correctly. I would like to have it in the world. I would like people to be able to use it.

For me, when I teach it, I can understand it better. By teaching it, by explaining anything to someone else, which you will learn as teachers, you guys as teachers, when you want to teach well, then try it out on your sister or your son. How old is he?

19? Oh my gosh. So he's going to be a DCI teacher next year?

Yeah. So anyway, I think Buddha sent you this book and you're supposed to finish it with me. So I'm making it part of the Diamond Way course.

It's mainly an argument about the meaning of emptiness and it's a unique book because it's funny and it was written to be funny. So I expect you to laugh, sometimes just laugh even if you don't understand it. Just say, ha ha ha.

It's funny and it's very, very true. It's a self-criticism. Here's what half of grandpa's mind thinks just before I sit down in that special seat.

Here's who he blames for the weather. Who made it so cold in the morning? Why didn't they make it warm in the morning when you do your big stuff and then it's colder later in the day?

It doesn't make sense, right? No, I mean, so you complain in your own mind and that's called the devil. In this case, the bad guy is talking in your mind.

Now, Tim and I worked very hard on this text because you've heard about the idea of the five houses and what's happening with ACI is that we've, I think it's one of the oldest organizations we have. It started I think in 1993 or something like that. So it's 32 years now.

And it grew and it grew and it grew and YSI came out of it and DCI came out of it, SCIN came out of it, all the others, SSD, DL, BBB, they all came out of it. ACI has been almost 40 years and it got too big. In a way, it's too big.

If you take the 18 courses, foundation courses, it's supposed to take six to seven years. Then if you take the Diamond Ray courses, it's supposed to take six or seven years. That's 14 years.

Then you're supposed to do all the meditation stuff. That's what, another five years. That's 19 years.

Then you're supposed to do a three retreat someday. It gets to be like, you don't have enough time to finish ACI before you die. It's too much.

It just got to be too much. So what we thought was, what's happening is, we would like you all to be teachers. We really want you to be teachers.

If you're so stubborn that you come to cook yourself in the desert in these classes, then probably you can be a teacher because to be a teacher is very similar to cooking yourself at Diamond Mountain. It's a lot of trouble. We thought that the people who come, especially to Diamond Ray, you're going to be great teachers.

That's my dream. That's been my dream. That's what I've been working on all these years.

What we thought was, it's so many things to learn. You can't study for 40 years and then be a teacher because you don't have any hair left after that. Right, John?

You and me. So our idea is, you can specialize. It's like when you go to university, you don't try to get a B.A. in science and then do a B.A. in English and then do a B.A. in literature and then do...

You don't try to do six B.As at Columbia because that's just some special people. So our idea is, you could start specializing. You're welcome to come to all the classes.

You don't have to stop coming to any classes. But maybe you could look inside your heart and there's five choices basically. There's five specialties.

You can get your B.A. or your Ph.D. and then start teaching in one of five houses. So it's like fraternity house or... At Princeton you had to join a house.

And then you're very loyal to your house and you get support and you get friends and you study together and you graduate together in your own house. So we wanted to make five houses and the choices are, what's the first one? This is, by the way, the first rule as a teacher is when you can't remember something, ask the audience, can you remember the first one?

Classics, yeah. You can't go the traditional ACI way. You can study all the classics.

You can learn the six courses, learn them well, then learn, sorry, 18 plus 18, 36 courses. You can learn the technical. It's basically Geshe.

It's basically a Geshe course. If you pass the first 18 foundation courses of ACI, you have covered the important stuff of the Geshe course. By the way, they don't sit there for 12 hours every day.

They constantly take breaks. In fact, you never know if there's going to be a class. You go to class and it's empty and they say, oh, we didn't have a class today.

You're like, you didn't tell me that. They say, we don't tell people. They don't study at a Western university.

It's very crazy. The system is very crazy. So anyway, you're going to finish the philosophical.

Some people like that word. Some people are nerds and they want to study the philosophy. I'm like that.

I enjoy the philosophy and I like to talk about it. I learned things that way. If I ever reach Buddhahood, it will be philosopher path.

You see what I mean? Then some people prefer samadhi house, which is meditation. Some people are just really into meditation.

You say, study this book. Here, here's another book. The last 35 books were not enough.

You read this one and they're like, can't I just meditate once in a while? I don't want to read books all day. Some people prefer meditation and some people go deep into it and they enjoy it.

Their dream is to be a meditation teacher, not to be a Tibetan teacher. You see what I mean? That's fine.

We should have a degree like that. We should have a house like that. You should have the privilege and the pleasure of joining meditation house.

We call it samadhi house. Probably you have to look like that when you graduate. By the way, great meditators, really great meditators are low, low, what do you call it?

Low profile. They don't show off. John Brady is probably the best meditator I know.

He doesn't look like that. The beard's a little different. But no.

I mean, it's a quiet thing and you don't look like something. You could look like a businesswoman. You could be an import-export corporate owner in Vietnam, for example.

Be a great meditator. Nobody knows, right? So, it's up to you.

If you're more attracted to meditation and when you see your future, when you close your eyes and dream about the future, you're teaching meditation to a group of people, then you're welcome to join samadhi house. It doesn't mean you can't listen to philosophy classes, but it means you specialize in someone. When I decide what I am, it's what I tell people on the airplane.

So you sit down next to somebody and you don't know them and they say, what do you do? If you're the person who's going to say, I'm a meditation teacher, then you should join samadhi house. If you're the one that says, I want to be a Geshe, got it?

And they're saying, well, oh, you're in, yeah, okay. Classics house? Okay.

Third house. What are they called? Mountain house?

Mountain house. Look, I'm really attracted to retreat. And there's some people who just would, they're hungry to do more retreats.

You say, look, I got a new book for you and I'm going to teach you a new meditation. And they say, oh, I'm sorry, I'm busy. You say, what?

I'm sitting in my cabin. I can't read a book. I can't, you know.

Their thing is they want to be up on a mountain by themselves in deep retreat. They want people to see them every six years or so, like Lama Pelma. Yeah.

So anyway, if you're that kind of person whose dreams of being one of these great people who stays in retreat for a lot, then you could join this house. I'm not sure the percentage of people. I don't know which house is going to be more popular, but I do believe if you can get about five people in a house to start as the beginning, it's enough.

I don't care. I don't care if there's a hundred people in the scripture classics house and there's only two people in the retreat house. I don't care.

I want you to be where you want to be. Then what's the fourth one? Yeah.

Stairway house? Yeah, Lam Rim. Okay.

Everyone's going to call it Lam Rim anyway. Yeah. So, as you saw the last 12 years, this is a huge topic.

We covered one Lam Rim. I have, John's database has a few hundred Lam Rims. You can go many, many, you can spend the rest of your life in the Lam Rims and there's many, many beautiful, like the one we just finished is 12 years.

If we did Lam Rim Chenmo, it's 12 years. It'd be 24 years just to do two of them. You can become a master of Lam Rim and it's very sweet.

Maybe that's what you like. Then everybody wants to be in the fifth house, which is diamond house, is it? Diamond way house.

Because everybody wants to be in diamond house, we're not going to allow you to be in diamond house because then you'll ignore the other four houses. So, what we have a plan, me and Uncle Tim, is join one of the four houses. You don't have to decide today.

You don't have to cut your blood and sign the contract. Just think about it. Which one are you more attracted to?

I'll tell you something very profound. My teacher's advice to me, of all the five Geshe topics, he said, is there one that you really hate? I said, yes.

He said, what? I said, it's Course 13. Why do you think unlucky number?

I said, logic. I hate logic. He's like, okay, you're going to master that.

His advice was, join the house you don't like because that's the one that you are not so good at. When you balance your life, when you master something you're not interested in, then you become a master of both. You see what I mean?

You're already a good meditator. So, okay, learn to do retreat or learn to do philosophy or something like that. I mean, there's that option.

I'm not forcing you. If you always dreamed of sitting in a cabin and avoiding other people, you're welcome to join, what's it called, retreat? Mountain house.

Whatever you like, you're free. You're very free. But what we ask is, this week, we're even going to ask you to kind of pretend you're in one of the houses.

Just see how it feels. I told you my wife's story, right? That you will never repeat to her.

I took her to buy jeans in Cottonwood at the cowboy store where they don't have a seat for the husband to wait. You have to stand. And she tried on 42 pairs of jeans.

How many did she buy? None. So, what it means is, try on different houses.

See how it fits. You're not forced to take one or the other. You can say, yeah, that doesn't fit me so good.

I like the jeans. What's the greatest thing I ever did on a tour?

[Speaker 2]
Stanley knows and I'm not, I was brave and I bought her a pair of jeans and they fit.

[Speaker 1]
I mean, if you write my life story after I die, it should start with, he bought his wife jeans and they fit. So, houses like that. In Harry Potter, Kiri, how do they decide which house you're in?

Slytherin and all that. How do they decide? Yeah, what's it called?

What's the hat called? Oh, the sorting hat. Yeah, we couldn't get a sorting hat.

In Harry Potter, you put a hat on and the hat talks, right? And it says, Kiri should be in Mediterranean House. So, anyway, we don't got this hat.

So, you're going to have to decide for yourself. Where would Harry Potter go if he could decide by himself? Which house for Harry Potter?

Slytherin. As a bodhisattva, he'd go to where he doesn't like the people. So, anyway, now, the game this week is, you're going to buy, I don't know, whenever Tim says, you're going to choose a house that you might like to be in, which means what would you like to be a teacher of?

What would you like to teach other people, mainly? And then you're going to focus on that and we'll help you focus on your, whatever you choose to be a PhD of, we will help you focus on that and we will design special courses for you. And it doesn't mean other people can't come, but it's mainly for the house.

So, we'll design specialized courses to make you a great teacher of your own house. And then, if you fulfill certain requirements in your house, you're allowed to also join Diamond House. You see what I mean?

So, your house of the four is a path to the fifth house because everybody wants to go to the fifth house and they're all going to go around the four houses. So, we're asking you to choose one of the four and then you go to Diamond House from there. So, kind of Diamond House is the super house for the people in the four houses who do really well.

And then you become a teacher in one of those five things. So, think about what you would like to be a teacher of. Visualize yourself, picture yourself as a teacher.

That's Diamond Way. One of the most important Diamond Way teachings is to imagine yourself what you're going to be like when you're a Buddha. That's one of the most important Diamond Way meditations.

What do you want to look like? Me and John are going to have full hair, like a lion. And my tummy is going to go down.

And you're going to... So, one of the Diamond Way exercises is to visualize yourself as how you want to be. And sometimes you can do that.

We'll talk about it. Now, the fun we're going to have with... I call it the angel-devil book.

The angel-devil book. The fun we're going to have is you're going to help me make a flow doc for this book. Flow doc means it's a file that I use.

I take the book, like the last class we had. I have Gibson's book in my computer and I cut open a space and I put a picture there. And I teach from the pictures, like I did last class.

I teach from the pictures. So, what I did for angel-devil is I don't have pictures. Why?

You're going to do the pictures. And each house is going to do pictures for teaching that part of the book your way. Okay?

So, I'm going to teach you today some of the next verses of angel-devil. It happens to be the devil being a real... Okay?

Bad guy. And he's being very... He's being very disrespectful, which is what he does.

Then, I would like each house... And Tim's going to lead you through it. But you're going to sit together and you're going to design the items.

You're going to design the images to teach it. Then, we're going to have some special classes. They'll be cut into four parts.

Each house will get up. Here's our picture for the first verse. This is how we will teach the first verse.

From our house, which is the best house. Right? You got to be loyal to your house.

We got a Harry Potter expert here. He went through all the books in like three days or so. He even reads while he's walking around.

They're called rattlesnakes here. You can't do that. Okay, so...

You're going to make an item. And nowadays... I used to have a contract with a photo agency and I bought photos from them for many, many years.

You search online. You say, I want a photo of an irritated lady and it shows you a pig or something. It's kind of a stupid AI.

But it got better and better and better. Now you can design an image. It's called a prompt.

You write a sentence. You say, a lady spilled her spaghetti on the guy's head and he's meditating. You write that and then the AI makes the picture.

Sometimes they even put five fingers. No. But I really like it and I use it a lot.

And probably in your future you'll use video from your AI or something. But anyway, in my age, it's pretty cool. So you're going to use AI.

You're going to make an image. And it's a great teaching tool. It keeps the audience interested.

It's what do you call it, entertaining? And you show a picture. And then it's great for quizzing your students.

What's this picture? What's this mean? So the picture should have a power.

It should have some kind of powerful picture that tells a story. And then it's much easier to remember philosophy from a picture. So we're going to tell a story with pictures.

So I did not choose the pictures this time. I want four pictures for each major teaching I'm going to give you and I want to see what your houses can do. And then me and Tim, I don't know, we'll decide who's the best and you get a gold hat or something.

I don't know. No, that's too American. But anyway, we'll have fun with it, okay?

There was a famous guy from Mexico who has a news show.

[Speaker 2]
We did this long ago, do you remember?

[Speaker 1]
We had a contest for idims here. How many of you, 10 years ago or something? And he did the best one.

He won the award. And it was amazing. It was really cool.

I think he used to have everything on that day. Nah, I'm kidding. By the way, he just got back from Kyoto teaching and we should give applause for him and Adam.

They did a very nice course in Kyoto and thanks to our Japanese friends, that babysat them, because they're kind of wild. But he and Adam Andrade gave a great class and they got a grant from Tim and Nick to go there and give their course and it was very fun for them. Accidentally, the plane stopped in Hawaii on the way and Juan went to Oahu in the North Shore.

Just to teach you Hawaii, I lived there for six months and surfed there, but which of those two beaches do you go like this?

[Speaker 2]
Oahu or North Shore? Both of them.

[Speaker 1]
In Oahu, it's the bikinis. In North Shore, it's the surf. Right, Juan?

I don't know which beach you were at. But anyway, if you want to try something like that, you can apply for a grant from, talk to Tim or Nick, okay? And they went to Kyoto and they had a really good time and they helped a lot of people.

They had a great course and it went really well. And anybody can do that, okay? It's called G-Box.

I'll talk about that someday. Okay. So here we go.

I'm going to teach Angel Devil. And then, as I talk, think about which image you're going to create with the AI, okay? And it'll help your teaching career.

It'll make you a better teacher. Pictures help people stay awake and they help people remember things, okay? So I really encourage you to use them.

And my opinion is that everybody in this class or everybody online, you can learn to be a teacher. I believe every person, it's your responsibility to teach this to other people. Everybody's different.

Adam's not here, I'll tell you something. His first class, can I show you? It was about 12 years ago.

It was in Phoenix. And I trained him what to say and he got ready and he stood up and he went like this.

[Speaker 2]
And I'm like, Adam? He said, Adam.

[Speaker 1]
Adam, sit down now. He's like, sit down. Okay, we'll work on it.

And no, he froze completely. I also froze my first class. My teacher told me to sit down and shut up.

And so you learn, okay? You can learn. You will learn.

In my opinion, everybody listening right now can be a teacher and should be a teacher. And in the tradition of the ancient books, you're not allowed to take a class if you don't intend to teach it. If you don't intend to share it with someone, you're not allowed to sit here.

In the old way, in the old way. That's why my cat heard so many teachings. Sometimes nobody wants to listen.

I'm like, will you listen? She's like, if you got that special cat food that I really like, I'll listen. And I'm like, I got it.

All right, so here we go. I'm just going to read it fast, okay? ,'CHI YANG MED PAS NGO DU BYED, ,'YID LA YANG, ,'YID LA CHI YANG MI SEMS PAR, ,RGOMS PA'I DANG ZIN CHAD DMANG SKYE, ,DE NI NGA'I RGOM DU KHYEN, And the devil's talking, okay?

The bad part of your mind. And he says, you should lead people by the hand to the nothing at all. Teach them not to think about anything.

Make their concentration filled with busyness every time they meditate. Ah, the masters of meditation inside my system. Sit down, cross your legs, don't think about anything.

Om, okay, all right? Who's talking? I hope you know.

Yeah, it's the devil, okay? And he's like, this is my meditation system. And you laugh, you know, but I...

So in the old days, when I met my first yoga teacher, I said, look, I don't know if I can do this yoga thing. It was Lady Ruth, right? And David and Sharon.

And I said, I don't know if I can do this yoga thing because I'm so busy, I travel all the time. And they said, oh, you should... We have a suggestion.

When you get to the hotel, go online, find the nearest yoga class, go. Every country you go to, there's a wonderful story in Hong Kong about the Chinese language pregnancy class I went to. And the lady's like, meow, meow.

I'm like, meow, meow, meow. They're saying, meow, meow. I said, I got the money.

She said, meow, meow. Then I went in there and it's all pregnant ladies. And that's the best stretch I ever got here.

And, okay. So anyway, but I'll tell you something, because I went to so many yoga classes in so many countries, every country I went to, I went to a yoga class. And I never met the teacher.

I heard hundreds of terrible meditation classes, hundreds. Whoa, think about nothing. Just let your thoughts thrown away.

I'm like, okay. And then I suddenly, by accident, I realized how much bad meditation is being taught. And I was shocked.

I was like, very rarely anybody was teaching meditation. So this is happening 400 years ago. And this teacher, this great writer, Boson Chukwudensin, he's saying, by the way, he's the one who personally stopped the war from his retreat cave.

And so anyway, he's saying, even 400 years ago, there was a problem that people taught meditation. Just try to think about nothing. Just try not to think about anything.

In this book, it's the devil. And that's an important thing. When you make your picture, this is not a bad yoga class or something.

By the way, oftentimes the yoga is good. Oftentimes the asana is quite good. The meditation before the asana is ridiculous.

But oftentimes the teacher is a good yoga teacher and they teach great asana. So that's why I still go. I just kind of soot gang.

They give you in the airplane these earplugs, right? When they start the meditation, I put the earplugs in. When they start the asana, I take them out.

And so you can go, you can go and you can learn, but it's an ancient problem of people who think that meditation is thinking about nothing. Now listen, in a tantric sense, in a diamond way sense, the goal of diamond way is to get the job done before you die. And you don't think so.

You think, oh, Geshe-la's health is not so good. Who's going to die first and who's going to die last? We don't know.

Don't think it's, it usually goes out of order. I often sit here and there's no one left. You see what I mean?

We don't know who's going to go first and we don't know who's going to go last. And that's the way it is, okay? In this system of diamond way, you're trying to reach the goal before you die and it's a race.

Like there's always this background thing called you might get in a car accident tomorrow. You might, they might say, oh, you remember that nice lady who was in, yeah, she's gone. She had a car accident.

You're like, oh my gosh. It lasts for about three minutes. Everybody's like, oh my gosh.

And then you're like, what's for lunch anyway? You know? So, we're all in a race.

Diamond way, one of the, see, I'm sneaking you diamond way. Every verse I'm seeking, sneaking diamond way to you. It's a race, okay?

The purpose of diamond way. The reason for diamond way. One of the important ideas of diamond way is get it done and then relax.

Then if you don't die, you're okay. If you do die, you're okay. My death is different from your death already.

I know where I'm going. I know what's happening. I know where I'm going to be five minutes later.

I got everything ready. The teachers are waiting for me. And I'm, you know, it's all set.

You got to do that. You got to take care of that while you can. You got to take care of it.

That's diamond way. Diamond way is the big emphasis on one life. So, this person who teaches you meditate about nothing is literally killing you.

It's not like a joke or they don't know how to teach meditation. They should have gone to Samadhi house, stupid guy, you know, wasting my 10 minutes before class. It's not 10 minutes before class.

It's your irreplaceable life, which is priceless. I've sold my company to Warren Buffett. I'm pissed at him.

He went from 81 billion to 143 billion riding partly on my company, okay? Now, he's what, 90? 90.

He's 94. And his mind is, you know, finally his mind's gone, you know? And if he's got $143 billion, he should be able to buy a couple hours from somebody.

Like, can he go to some poor person and say, okay, $100 million a day, I'll buy. I don't care what it costs. I'll take some of your lifetime.

And they can't do it, you know? Nobody can do it. The person who teaches you lousy meditation is killing you.

They are stealing your priceless time. It's not a small thing. It's a terrible thing.

It's a tragedy. It's better if they give you diarrhea, right Rob? He just had an epic case.

I'm kind of jealous because he lost eight pounds. Okay. Anyway, it's not a joke and it's not a small thing.

It's not that you wasted 10 minutes before yoga class. It's that no one can give it back to you. Okay.

Teaching meditation wrong is like cutting someone's arm open or something. It's probably kinder to cut their arm open. At least they can put on a bandaid and keep going, you know?

Okay. So it's very serious. It's really serious.

This is not a, it's a funny debate, but it's not a funny debate. This guy really is the devil because he's killing people's hearts, not their body. He's teaching them wrong meditation.

It's a terrible tragedy. It's like someone dying in a car accident. It's terrible.

It's a sad thing that someone would waste their time. All right. ,'DI'I PHYI GNYIS GANG MED PA'I BSGOM GYIS, ,'BRAS BU SANGS RGYI THOB ZHAGS SUM PHOGS MED PA'I PHYI BSGOM, ,DE'I THAMS CAD GROR GYUR, Okay.

This is the devil bragging about how fast his system works. He's like, they will attain results of meditation that you cannot find in this life or the next. They will achieve Buddhahood.

They can do it just goofing off in three days with my system. Or they could just meditate for a month and reach Buddhahood, you know? And they'll all go to freedom.

They'll all get liberated. Who's talking? The devil.

Okay, listen, Diamond Way is the fastest way and it takes a long time. Duh. Okay.

All right. If someone promised you instant liberation. Let me tell you something as an old man.

Let me give you some wisdom. Okay. Someone sit down next to somebody.

This happened to me. Someone sat down next to somebody on a plane and they're like, they're like, you want to know the secret about the stock market? I'm like, what?

It's like, you got to invest in NVIDIA. It's NVIDIA. They got the, they got the chips.

They got the advanced MDM chips. You know, it's unbelievable. You got to get the money in right now, you know?

And then the chairman of Sony, the founder of Sony Corporation, what's his name? Akio Morita, Mr. Morita. Here's what he said.

And it's a great book. Oh, it's a book called, Made in Japan. Great book.

And I love him. And he said, let me tell you something. If someone really knows which stock's going to go up tomorrow you think they're going to tell you?

He's like, and the logic was undeniable. If someone knows for sure a stock's going to go up tomorrow, why would they tell you? They'll just put their money there and they'll make the money, got it?

And he was laughing. He said, I don't play the stock market. I don't have any stock.

Here's the founder of Sony Corporation. And he says, I don't buy stocks. Why?

Because it's just gambling. It's the same as horse racing or, you know, it's exactly the same. Nobody can tell you where it's going to go tomorrow.

You can take all the experts in the world and they all say something different. And if they knew they wouldn't be an expert, they would quietly make more money. You see what I mean?

Duh. What am I talking about? This guy's promising you impossible, okay?

Listen, I'm a tantric master. I got a special hat. I got a ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

I can say wah, wah, wah, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Look at this thing. Look at my robe.

That proves I'm a tantric master. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I have sex with every other student.

I drink all, you know, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I can get you there in three days. Then it's like a stock market thing.

It's like, come on, you know. You go ding, ding, I got to go to class. Okay?

Understand? The hat doesn't get you to Buddhahood, I'm sorry. I have a hat.

You ever seen me in a hat? No. Okay.

Unreasonable promises that you can get to enlightenment instantly delay your enlightenment. Okay? It's going to take hard work, steady work.

You're going to have to sit on your butt in the retreat cabin and have many bad days, right, JB? And many hard times, and then you get to the goal. Okay?

Diamond Way is not a piece of candy, but it works. Okay? All right?

Hello, is that me? I'm supposed to shut up, Brian? Yeah, okay, okay.

I like this next verse. It's called, A Moron Who Cannot Tie Their Shoe. Moron in English means super stupid person.

Okay? Who's talking? Who would say such a thing?

The devil, okay? And he's accusing this beautiful angel called wisdom, understanding of the pen, Miss Emptiness, you know? She's, he says, you're just a moron.

And she's like, why you say that? She doesn't get upset, of course. And he says, I am capable of mighty deeds and you, you're just some nice lady, you know?

I've got the real wisdom. You are like a moron. In English, we say, you cannot tie your shoe.

It means, you're so stupid, you can't even tie your shoe. For words, Smith, ,GYOD RANG YID MO'I KHYAD GZHAN DA, You never saw these words. This is, you know, Utsang dialect in 1600.

Very hard to translate. So, YID MO'I means dumbhead. And KHYAD GZHAN means weakling.

And GZHA means that's who you are. He's accusing her of being too nice. Okay?

Who's talking? The devil. Yeah, you are a moron who cannot tie your shoe.

You appear once and then you are gone. He accuses her of not sticking around. He says, yeah, you're so beautiful.

You're so wise. You understand the pen. You live by the pen, right?

And then, why are you never home? You know, where are you all day? Who are you running around with?

In English, we say, who are you running around with? Why don't you ever come home? You're so beautiful.

You're so compassionate. You're so wise. And you're never home.

[Speaker 2]
Why? What's he mean? Yeah, so, to really understand the pen is like once a month, for like two minutes.

[Speaker 1]
Okay? He's accusing her of being a bad lady, being a bad wife. He has to live where with her?

In her brain, okay? The devil has to live with the angel in one person's mind all day long, and she's never home. She's like, he's like, who's the guy?

What's his name, you know? Where do you go? What do you do?

[Speaker 2]
Why are you never here, you know? Got it? It means people think about the pen like once a week.

[Speaker 1]
All week long, they're complaining about other people. I can't believe this person do this. Such a bad person.

Hurt me so bad. And then you're like, once a month, you think, oh, it's coming from me. That's what I do, okay?

She's not home very often. Got it? You're supposed to go, oh, I got it.

So, I think it's cute. He's accusing her of being, what do you call that? She's cheating on her husband.

Who's the husband? Ignorance, they live together, okay? In our heads, they are a couple, and she's not home very often.

Got it? It's cute, okay?

[Speaker 2]
You're going to make a nice, not X-rated picture. Okay? Got it?

On the AI, okay. Very good. We got six, how much?

Five minutes, okay. Very good. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah.

[Speaker 1]
SON NAM PA MED SOGS DGOS NA A lot of spelling differences here in this text. SNGA GNOD CHAR MAR DGOS PA LA CHAR DOG KHYAD KYI CHE BZHIN DGRAG NYID THAMS CAD PA'I MI'ONG BA Those who hope to accumulate good karma beyond any measure should come and serve me at my feet. Who's talking?

You can call him Two-Minute Buddhahood. Two-Minute Buddhahood. He's got the secret for Two-Minute Buddhahood.

I don't understand why the whole world isn't bowing down to my feet. If they did my meditation on nothing at all, they would get Buddhahood in a couple of days. All right?

Okay? If you really want to make good karma, come serve the devil. By the way, the devil in Western, they're asking you to cheat on your taxes or something.

But in Buddhism, the devil's asking you to think the pen comes from its own side. That's his job. That's his only job.

If he can make you believe that the person who insulted you yesterday was not coming from you, then he did his job. He's trying to get you to believe another person could hurt you. And if he does that, then you are his slave and you will have a terrible life.

Okay? You just keep blaming other people your whole life. All right.

They should serve me. You should be jealous of me because I'm so powerful and you're so weak. Who's talking?

Yeah, the devil's bragging. Is it true? It's not true that she's weak.

She just doesn't show up much. She's never home. When she's home, she beats him every time.

If you think of where the pen's coming from, you will be patient with other people. But if you can't remember, you are weak. She's weak.

Okay, got it? She's stronger, but not if she's not at home.

[Speaker 2]
If she's never visiting home, she doesn't get a chance to show her power. Got it? Okay?

[Speaker 1]
You got to learn this ancient Geshe Michael student thing.

[Speaker 2]
When you're asleep in the class, you're like, okay, that's third level skill. Second level skill, sleep with your eyes open.

[Speaker 1]
Third level skill, just stay up and don't go anywhere. Okay. By now you must be so exhausted trying to fight with me.

You know, why don't you just don't come home? Okay? It's such a trouble when you're at home, to doubt whether this person's coming from me or not.

Why don't you just don't come home? Okay? We'll just decide the person who hurt me is coming from their side and they're a bad person.

And then we don't have to keep trying to remember Buddhism. Okay? It's a hassle to be schizophrenic.

[Speaker 2]
What's a schizophrenic? He hurt me, he said something to me, and he's coming from me.

[Speaker 1]
Wait, he's coming from me. Wait, he can't come from me, he hurt me. Now, you know, isn't it easier if you just forget all your Buddhism?

You know, someone hurts you, you say, what an asshole. You know, let me meet your mother. Who brought you up like that?

And they're not such a stupid person. Wouldn't that be easier than this Buddhist struggle inside your mind? Maybe he's coming from me.

No, no. I mean, some people, but not him. You know, okay?

He's like, why don't you just leave the house and stay out? Okay? That's his last word.

[Speaker 2]
Now, the beautiful lady reappears. Okay?

[Speaker 1]
,GZHIR RAB GYI NI LEN MED PA, It means, the beautiful lady is wisdom. She comes back home. I'm here, honey.

What's that? She understands the pen, and she uses it in her real life. Some people understand the pen and never use it in their real life, and they're complaining about other people all the time.

And I'm complaining about them.

[Speaker 2]
Okay. Uh, now she's talking to him.

[Speaker 1]
Okay, we have one minute, okay? Hang in there. When I was sitting in the Geshe course, in a refugee camp, in a 120 degree, that's 45 Celsius, with rain dripping on my head from the roof, and everybody around me has tuberculosis.

I made a promise. I said, in the future, when I'm a teacher, I'm going to make them suffer. Now it came true.

I really had that thought. I mean, it's not a very good thought. Ah, you arrogant one.

You don't possess a single good quality. And yet, still you have a delusion that your meditation is so cool. You're a master meditator, because you can sit there and think about nothing.

Not only you don't have any fine qualities, you don't have the tools to get those qualities. Meaning, in this case, you don't know how to meditate. No one ever taught you meditation.

You think thinking about nothing is meditation. So you will never be a good person, because you don't have the tools. You don't have the skill set.

You don't have the tool kit, which is meditation. Because you think meditation means sitting and thinking about nothing. Okay, cool.

Kuma, okay. Ah, yay, we'll stop. Okay.

Okay.