«Дар освобождения», курс 38 «Становясь бодхисаттвой: шаги к порождению желания достичь просветления», занятие 8

[Говорящий 1]
Hi, welcome back to the Lam Rim. And I bet you're wondering what the holes in these genes are. And let's find out.

I'm going to go to the text now. We finished the terrible and wonderful story of the Lady of the Blue Lotus, Utpala, and who became an arhat, and who made five other arhats out of her nuns. And here we continue with Pabongka Rinpoche's Lam Rim lecture.

DE'I SEMS PA'I NA MA MIN PAR MIN GYUR TE Just because your mom was in the past doesn't mean she's not your mom. Just because the days of being your mom were in the past doesn't mean she's not your mom. DE'I GYUR NA, TSE LTOS KYI MA YANG TSE MED KYI MA MIN PAR GYUR Then logically, if the fact that she's past if the fact that the time she's been your mother is past means she's not your mother, then everybody's mother is not their mother.

Because everybody's mother was their mother before, in this life. So that means if your mom is not your mother this year, if she was your mother last year, then she's not your mother. According to your logic, if she's been your mother in the past, she's not your mother now.

Okay, well then the mom who gave you birth in this life is not your mom because she gave you birth before. This is Pabongka's argument. KHA SANG GI MA YANG, DE RING GI MA MIN PAR GYUR TE Even your mom from yesterday wouldn't be your mom today because that's past.

So if you went to visit your mother yesterday, then you came home today, then suddenly because the date changed, she's not your mother anymore. Because someone in the past has been your mother, is not your mother. According to your logic.

Why? DE'I DE'I ZIN PAS SO Because it's past. She's past.

Yesterday is also past. DE NI BYA BA'I MI RTAG PA STE This is interesting. He says that's a kind of subtle impermanence.

PHRA MA here means subtle. MI RTAG PA means impermanent. THOS PA MA BYAS PA'I RTOG PA DKA' MOD If you haven't had a Buddhist education with the Lam Rim or with the ACI courses, then RTOG PA DKA'.

It's difficult to grasp. Subtle impermanence is difficult to grasp if you're not trained formally. If you haven't had formal Buddhist training, training in the classics, mixed nuts classics, then it's going to be difficult.

RTOG PA, difficult to catch it. MA, MA means look, I know. But let's try to take it to a common example.

And I think it'll be easier for you guys. DPER NA, let's take an example. SEMS DI LTA BU So of course, Pabongka Rinpoche is giving his Lam Rim lecture with a SEMS. A SEMS means the shawl that the monks wear over their shoulders. So he would have been giving his lecture with a shawl over his shoulders. DI LTA BU YANG NA NANG NING So NANG NING means last year. It's an idiom.

NANG NING means last year. SAR PA'I SKABS NANG NING, last year, this shawl I have on my shoulders was new. It was new.

SAR PA'I SKABS PHYI MA CHEN MIN It wasn't stinky. And to be honest, people use their shawl for everything in the monastery. So it does get kind of...

And I have known monks. I lived with a monk who said it was unhealthy to take a shower in the winter. So he wouldn't take a shower all winter.

He wouldn't wash his body all winter. And so it does get kind of PHYI MA CHEN. It means mala, right?

It has a good smell. BUG RDUL means get holes in it, like holes in your jeans. We have BUG RDUL.

The best example of BUG RDUL in our culture, modern culture is jeans, the holes in your jeans. So look, these jeans didn't have these holes a year ago. But this year they have holes.

So he says, look, look at this shawl I have on. Geshe Michael could say, look at these jeans I have on. BUG RDUL They got holes in them.

But they didn't have holes in them last year. Did they? And they weren't smelly last year.

But now they're smelly. BUG RDUL YANG GNAS PA LA DE RGYUN RTEN ZANG GI SEMS DE PHYI MA CHEN But you can't say these are not the jeans that I bought last year. It's a very profound proof.

It's a very profound way of teaching us subtle impermanence. Look, do you have jeans on? Yes.

Do they have holes in them? Yes. Did they have holes in them last year?

No. Are they the same jeans? Well, yeah.

They're the same jeans. They're my jeans. So he says, there you go.

Now you understand subtle impermanence. Got it? But you cannot say that the jeans today that have holes in them are not the jeans that you bought at, what's that store?

Buckle, last year. They are the jeans you bought last year. They're the same jeans.

Why are we talking about that here? Yeah, your mom's changed. She's different.

Maybe she's BUG RDUL. Maybe she got a hole somewhere. But it's still the same mom.

You can't say it's not the same mom just because she looks older or she's not around or something. Then you can't say it's not the same mom. Come on.

It's the same jeans, right? It's logic. BU MED PA LA DE RGYUN THAN SANG GI SEMS KYI PHYIR MI CHEN We're talking about the flow of an object over time.

It's called RGYUN. And the flow of your mom over time. PHYIR MI CHEN BUG RGYUR CHEN DU SDUG PAS DE NYID THA BDE PA LTA BU YIN Are they separate or are they not separate?

Or are they one? Are they two points on a stream or are they two unconnected things? Is there a pair of jeans last year that was new from the store?

And then there's a pair of jeans this year that has holes in it? Are they separate? Yes.

Are they connected by a stream? Yes. Are they still the same jeans?

Yes. Is it still your mom? Yes.

DE LTAR NA'ANG SKYE BA SNGA PHYI MA GNYIS KYI AA MA BYAS PA LA SKYE MED DU BSAM So you got to follow this train of thought until you realize that there's no difference between your mom in this life, which is the jeans with the holes in them, and the mom in your last life, which is the new jeans. Your mom in your last life is the new jeans. And your mom in this life is the mom with the holes in it.

And they're one stream. It's one thing. If they were your mom in this life and they were your mom in a previous life, it's the same person.

It's the same person. It's the same jeans. SKYE MED DU BSAM DGOS TE You got to think about it.

NA NING SROG BSKYAB NA DE'I BRTZEN LTA LO YANG BRTZEN DGOS PA BZHIN NO I love this sentence. I don't know why, but this sentence has always stuck with me over many years. NA NING SROG BSKYAB If someone saves your life in 2020, maybe in 2021 you can show some gratitude.

Maybe, okay, 2020, someone pulls you out from an automobile accident or something, saves your life. What, in 2021, you're going to say, oh, that was last year. This is 2021.

I don't have to be grateful anymore. Come on, he says. DE LTA YANG YANG BYANG PAS MAR SHES RGYUD LA BSKYED PA'I BRTZEN NI This is very beautiful.

BRTZEN means, how do you know when you got it? BRTZEN means measure, right? Like BRTZEMA, like pramana.

How do you know when you've got, when you've reached MAR SHES? Which is kind of 1.5 of the, how many? Five point, Gyurje Minga did seven points of how to get bodhichitta.

It's really 1.5. What's 1.0? 1.0 is the equanimity. 1.5 is, it's kind of like a 1.5, to realize they've been your mother. So how do you know? And I love that in a Buddhist scripture when they say, with an emotion, how do you know when you got it? When can you say, I have MAR SHES?

At what point can you say, I have MAR SHES? When can you say RGYUD LA BSKYED? RGYUD LA BSKYED means, I have got that realization in my mind.

I really do think of everyone as my mom. How do you know? SEMS CAN GROG POR GCIG MTHONG BA NANG Even if you just see a single ant crawling across the bathroom downstairs in the building, which used to happen.

SEMS CAN GROG POR GCIG MTHONG BA NANG Especially when you're sitting and meditating in the bathroom and you see an ant crawling around. MTHONG BA NANG RANG DE'I BUR GYUR SKABS There was a time when I was this being's child. When you see an ant crawling on the floor of the bathroom and you're sitting there meditating and you automatically think, I was once this ant's child.

I was once the baby of this ant. SKYID DUG TZAM MA DE LA RE DROG Misspelled in the original text. Very subtle.

RE DROG means all my hopes and fears depended on this person. Whether I was going to have a good day or a bad day, whether I was going to survive today or not, depended on this person. So if you're sitting in the bathroom and you see an ant crawling across the floor and you think there was a day when I was her child and my very life depended on her from hour to hour.

MTHONG BA MTHONG MTHONG means, what do you call it? Un-evoked? I don't know.

MTHONG MTHONG means when that comes up in your heart, uncalled? Yeah, just totally so spontaneously. You're not thinking, I should feel compassion or I should feel this emotion, the emotion takes over your heart.

MTHONG MTHONG like that. Oh, wow. This is the one that I was looking for to survive the day.

This bug. DRON DANG DZIN MAR SHES RGYUD LA CHUNG BA Then you've got MAR SHES. And he uses the honorific word for born.

CHUNG BA is SKYES PA. And he's using, it's a very telling verb choice. He says, thou hast given birth in your holy heart to MAR SHES.

He's using the high honorific that we would use to a Buddha. It means if you could get to that point where you had this emotion about a single ant crawling across the floor, then you're really a high practitioner. SBYOR BA BYAS LTA BU DGOS TSUL BYAS GSUNGS You guys have to be like Atisha, like Lord Atisha.

This is how he would feel about an ant. When you can feel about an ant the way that Atisha would feel about an ant, automatically, despite yourself, then you have MAR SHES. So I guess we'll never get there.

I don't know. You got an ant picture for me? This is, I don't know, I found this picture.

This is a little girl playing with ants. I guess you must have done that. I did that.

We used to kill them actually, which is really bad. But she's playing with ants and maybe she's having those thoughts. With this we have reached 2.0. We have reached the second of the seven steps for developing bodhichitta. And that's called DRIN DRAN. Say DRIN DRAN. It's not DRIN DRAN, it's DRIN DRAN.

DRIN DRAN means to recall the kindness. KHA DRIN DRAN PA KHA DRIN means kindness and DRAN PA means to remember. And DRIN DRAN is the short word.

DRIN DRAN. Here's second step. Don't forget what we're talking about.

We're talking about actually six steps you can do to reach a seventh result, which is bodhichitta. Supposedly, if you just go through these steps one by one, you will get to bodhichitta without thinking about it. Which is really cool.

That's the purpose of the Lam Rim. The Lam Rim means just do this meditation, then do that meditation, then do that meditation. And then even if you don't want to, you're going to be a bodhisattva.

All right. DE LTAR SEMS CAN RNAMS AA MA YIN PAR MNYAM NA AA MA BYAS SKABS DRIN GZHIN DU BYED BA SANGS RGYUD PAS Okay, so I think all of us, because of the old genes, we are closer to believing that everyone has been our mom before. But how did she treat us when she was our mom?

What did she do for us? So let's talk about that. Let's talk about DRIN GZHIN DU BYED.

KHA DRIN GZHIN DU BYED When she was our mom, how did she treat us? Okay, here we go. THA LTA TSE'I MDYIS MA LTA BUR TSUN NA TSUN here means, it can mean weapon, like TSUN CES KHO ROL, the crown of knives.

But TSUN can also mean to take as an example. So here it's to take it as an example. Let's take it as an example.

Let's just talk about the mom you had in this life. THOG MTHA' BAR GSUM DU DRIN BYAS TE She has been kind to you. THOG MTHA' BAR This is a famous idiom.

Do you guys know THOG MTHA' BAR? Tsongkapa wrote a book called THOG MTHA' BAR, a poem. It means that in the beginning, in the end, and in between.

In the beginning, in the end, and in between. So she has been extremely kind to us in the beginning, in the end, and in all the time between. THOG MAR BDAG GUS NGO CHU She's in the beginning.

What's the beginning? It's in the womb. She carried you for BDAG GUS, nine months.

Then he says NGO CHU, which means 10 days. So Tibetans believe the normal term is nine months and 10 days. Is it true?

I don't know.

[Говорящий 2]
It's in the Irish style.

[Говорящий 1]
Yeah, okay, okay. BAR LUS LA KHUR BA There's KHUR BA again, Tim. She bore that burden.

She carried that burden for nine months and 10 days. KHUR BA BU LA GNOD KYI MTHOG NAS This MTHOG means suspicion. And here it means worried that something might happen to her child.

Worried that something might happen to her child. RANG NYID KYI ZAS KOM DRONG DUG THAMS CAD SABS SABS, SABS SABS in modern Tibetan, SABS SABS means be super careful. SABS SABS KYI Like if someone's, I don't know, using a sharp knife to cut something, the mom might say SABS SABS, SABS SABS KYI, be careful.

Here it means just deciding ZAS, just deciding KOM, just deciding ROL, just deciding DUG, she would SABS SABS. She would try to proceed with great caution. About ZAS means what she eats.

KOM means what she drinks. DRO means the manner in which she walks. And DUG means the manner in which she sits.

So she would be cautious about even what she drank because she would be thinking, how will it affect my child? How will it affect my child? If I walk quickly, will it hurt the child?

If I sit in a certain way, would that hurt the child? She's always thinking of the child. Intense caring.

I got a picture here for you. On a good day, I guess, all of us who are pregnant would decide to eat the salad, right? And we would, just for the baby, even though salads are an anathema, are terrible, she would eat a salad just for the baby.

She's not thinking about herself. She's thinking about the baby. DE'I TSE MED DE LTAR BSKYANGS KHYAD PA ZHIG MA CHUNG CHEN This is a difficult sentence.

DE'I TSE means if in those pregnant days, MED is instrumental. If my mom, DE LTAR BSKYANGS means to sustain a certain behavior. If she had not been a KHYAD PA.

What's a KHYAD PA? Like KHYAD RUB BSTAN PA DAG YI. KHYAD RUB BYAS Like a master.

If she had not been a master in deciding what to eat and drink and how to walk and how to sit. If she had not been a master of considering her child's welfare. MA CHUNG CHEN means in that eventuality, in that case, MA CHUNG CHEN.

If she had not been so mindful about what to eat, what to do, then you and I wouldn't be in the Lam Rim right now. It's a very beautiful sentence. You and I wouldn't be here listening to Lam Rim.

We would have died. We would be retarded. We wouldn't have made it here if she had not taken those care before we came out.

So it's a very compelling argument to a big bunch of monks. Here's a big bunch of monks who enjoy their Geshe classes. And then Pabongka says, he doesn't say she saved your life, blah, blah, blah.

He says, you wouldn't have studied Abhisamankara if it hadn't been for your mom. Oh my God, can you imagine? You would never ever heard of Middle Way.

And then all the monks are like, oh my God. Oh, moms are so cool. RANG RES DA LTA means all of us sitting here right now.

CHOS DANG BRJAL This BRJAL is a very important word in Buddhist language. It means to encounter a holy thing, BRJAL. Like when you...

I remember people would come to see the Mongolian temple where I live and they would come to see the paintings mostly. And I would tell my teacher, Rinpoche, I'd say, I'm going to go show them the paintings. And he'd say, no, no, no.

We don't say show them the paintings. They are going to meet the holy Dharma. You have to say CHOS DANG BRJAL.

Say CHOS DANG BRJAL. CHOS means Dharma. DANG means with.

And BRJAL means meet. Meet with the Dharma. So you don't say, I'm going to go look at paintings.

You say, I'm going to go meet the holy Dharma, which is a beautiful word. So you wouldn't have had a chance to CHOS DANG BRJAL if your mom hadn't been careful drinking what she drank when you were in her room. DANG PA'I CHOS LA SLOB TU YOD PA'I SDI MIN BYUNG And you wouldn't be here today studying the holy Dharma if your mom had not taken great care, even in the womb.

Even in the womb. And for a person who really values their Dharma's life, then that's a very huge argument. That's a huge piece of logic.

You better be nice to your mom. Why? Because she's why you're sitting in the Lam Rim right now.

Can you imagine not being in the Lam Rim right now? Like I know what I would be. I would be a professor at Princeton or something.

And I would be unhappy and I would have had two divorces and I'd be drinking wine every night to make my life a little more bearable and struggling against my colleagues to see who could publish the book first. And I wouldn't be there, I know. So I'm grateful.

All right. ,DI DAG KYANG RANG NYID DGOS DRAG NAS CHUNG BA MIN GYI, This is very funny because DGOS, this is the DGOS in CHING DGOS, CHING BA and DGOS PA, meditation obstacles. Dullness and agitation.

So this DGOS means agitation. What's the word for a large, what do you call it, chimpanzee? What's the large, smaller than an ape, bigger than a monkey?

I'm sorry, smaller than a gorilla, bigger than a monkey. Chimpanzee? Yeah, orangutan.

Yeah, orangutan. Okay. What's the Tibetan word for orangutan?

MIR DGOS. Agitated human. Okay, so good talk.

This DGOS means your effort and your cleverness. The fact that you're sitting here in a Dharma class or in a mixed nuts class with the holiest of Dharma was not because you were so clever or you were so sharp that you got yourself here. It's just that your mom drank the right thing while she was pregnant.

And if she had drunk something else, you wouldn't have the brains to sit here. And that's true. So, MIN GYIS AA MA DE NYID KYI BSTAN It's only your mom.

DE NYID means it's only, all the credit goes to your mom that you have a brain to sit here in the Lam Rim with. Think about it. She could have taken drugs.

She could have done other things. She could have drunk alcohol. You could be mentally dull from her misbehavior while she was pregnant, but she took care of you even then.

She started to, when you think about the mother's kindness, DRIN DRAN, step number two, don't start with after your birth. Start from after your conception. She started taking care of you then.

Probably even before conception, right? All right, so I like this photo. When I think about, I said, I'm going to go find a picture of a Lam Rim teaching that we've been through, so I can say that we were there.

And I love this picture. This is the Lam Rim that we had in Bali recent, like a year ago. And this is the Vietnamese contingent.

These are the students from Vietnam. They did a beautiful dance. Then the Japanese did a nice dance.

And then the Chinese did a nice dance. And for us to stand there and watch this beautiful dance in the middle of a highest teaching, you wouldn't be there if your mom had abused her body while she was pregnant. She was taking care of you before you came out.

All right, BAR DU SKYES PA RNAMS, GANG YANG MI SHES PA'I Now he says BAR. THOG MTHA' BAR THOG MTHA' BAR, right? THOG means in the beginning.

MTHA' means at the end. BAR means in between. Let's talk about BAR.

BAR starts when you come out. The in between starts after you're born from the womb. BAR DU SKYES PA RNAMS Even after you were born, you are a GANG YANG MI SHES PA'I ZHA'I RDOG You are a lump of stupid flesh that doesn't know anything.

You are a ball of meat that don't know nothing. That sounds like a good thing you can call people that upset you. You're just a ball of meat who don't know nothing.

I love this sentence. I don't know why this sentence stays with me also. You were just a ball of stupid meat.

And SOR BCU means, SOR means here, means fingers. SOR BCU, ZE LA LANG means to, I don't know, to hold someone up on your fingers like that. She's lying.

She just had her guts ripped out by you. She almost died. Then she's got this little stupid ball of meat.

She's like, oh, you're so beautiful. She's like, holds you up on her ten fingers. I saw a picture of Nur like this a month ago.

She's like, we were following the hospital today. It's the usual drama. Oh, she went to the hospital.

Her water broke. She went to the hospital. They raced to the hospital.

Okay, is it out yet? No, no, no. Then you do your work, have dinner.

You call Seiji, is it out yet? No. She's screaming, okay, I got it.

Then you keep, sometimes you forget to call Seiji. The next morning you're like, I forgot to call Seiji last night. You call Seiji.

Is it out yet? No, she's still screaming. Then you're like, okay.

Then suddenly your phone rings and you got this photo of Nur with the baby like this. Ain't it the, it's always been like that. BAR DO Okay.

SKYE PA NANG She's SO CHU TSE LA LANG She's holding you on the tips of her ten fingers. BRTEN NYID PA LTA BU RGA TSO BYAS She looks blissed out like she just found a bag of diamonds. It's so funny.

It's such a funny picture to me. She's like, she's not saying you almost killed me two hours ago. She's like, oh, look at this beautiful, precious thing.

Like she found a new bag of diamonds or something. She's treating it. She's treating this ball of stupid meat, ball of idiot meat.

Did I make a good name for a band? She's treating you like a bag of diamonds or something. Oh, look, I found a bag of diamonds.

You can see these pictures. This is a universal picture. It's not hard to find this picture.

LTA BU ZIN CING LA LANG BRTEN NYID PA LTA BU RGA TSO BYAS RGA TSO means she's blissed out. ZHA'I BRDZO LA BYAR ZHA'I BRDZO means the warmth of her body. This is one of the levels of BRDZOR LAMS. Okay. Was it TRUL TSE MO GSOS PA'I PHYI CHOG? TRUL TSE MO GSOS PA'I PHYI CHOG So TRUL means warmth. In philosophical terms also, getting close to an emptiness is called warmth.

Here, ZHA'I BRDZO means her flesh, the warmth of her flesh. CHAR means she presses you to the warmth of her flesh. BYAMS PA'I RTEN LA ZHAG She tries to find places to put you, which are BYAMS PA, like BYAMS PA'I LYANG.

What's the Sanskrit? Manju, Manju. And that's a common name for women in India, Manju.

Gentle or velvety or something like that. So when she lays you down, she tries to find a nice soft place for you, a Manju place for you. That's a good way to remember Manjushri.

And then TSE BA'I RDZUM GYI GSOS This is the GSOS that the Buddha did to Utpala when he first saw her. Greeted, he greeted you. This GSOS means to greet.

And she greets you with a, TSE BA'I RDZUM means a smile of total love. You just ripped my guts out. I was bleeding all over the place.

They just sewed me up. The painkiller's wearing off. I love you and you're so beautiful.

It's crazy, right? All right. SNAB LAG PA'I PHYI CHOG PA SNAB means snot that comes out of a kid's nose.

It is, I'm sorry. LAG PA'I PHYI CHOG PA CHOG PA means to allow or to be appropriate. Like when you ask your teacher, can I leave now?

You say, DO CHOG PA, can I leave now? Do you need me for anything else? This CHOG PA means she could have.

It would have been okay if she wiped your snot with her LAG PA from your nose, with her hand, with her fingers. But NON THOG, this is the THOG we just had. She's afraid it might hurt you.

So she wipes it with her KHA. Yeah, she wipes the snot out of your nose with her lips because she's afraid your fingers might be too rough. Okay, THOG.

And MI TZAM BA, your poopoo, SHING LA SOGS PA'I PHRAD She could scrape it out with some plastic spoon or something, but she uses her LAG PA, her hands, because she's afraid it might irritate your bottom. Like a spoon or some kind of cloth or something. And she uses her own fingers.

PHYI, PHYI means to wipe. ZHABS PHYI means foot.

[Говорящий 2]
What's that mean?

[Говорящий 1]
Shoeshiner, ZHABS PHYI. It's the Tibetan word for a llama's attendant. The polite Tibetan word for a llama's attendant is ZHABS PHYI.

Wiper of the holy shoes. Hey, holy shoe wiper, what's Rinpoche want for dinner today or something like that? So, okay, Jigme?

DE'I SKABS SU RUNG NYID MA GCIG GAM CHU TSUL GCIG TZAM YANG TZAM RING YAL BAR DOR NA Now, if she had decided to take a break and leave us alone for a day or even an hour. NYID MA GCIG means a day. GAM means or.

CHU TSUL GCIG means one hour. If she had decided, let me take a break. I'm going to go see a movie or something.

In a theater. YAL BAR DOR means to leave you. YAL BAR DOR means to abandon somebody.

If she had left me for a day or 24 hours or even one hour and gone to see a movie or gone to have fun with her friends. YANG NA GYIS SA SANG Maybe a dog would come and eat me. Which happens.

Or YANG NA BYAS TOG CHA YI YANG NA or else maybe I could be carried away by a large bird. And I've seen small animals carried away by birds in the desert. Baby animals do get carried away by birds.

It could happen to a human. There's a story of the first Dalai Lama. His parents' camp was attacked by bandits.

His mom hid him in some rocks and came back to fight. And then when they went to find him, he was being protected by a large vulture or eagle who was standing over him. Anyway, it could happen that I was carried away by a bird.

YANG DU LHUNG BA Or I could fall off a table or off a chair and break my head open. This YANG means fall into a canyon or some kind of cliff. Fall off a cliff.

Babies do that. SOGS KYIS PHYI BA RGYUR PHYI BA RGYUR LAS DGOS MED I would have died. If she had abandoned me for even an hour or a day, I would have died.

Possibly I would have died. NYID MA RE RE'I YANG SOGS DGOS RGYA RGYA BRTEN She saved our life hundreds of times every day. And you can see it.

I mean, I'm working with Seiji every day on Zoom. He has a new baby, his wife Noor. By the way, they got married yesterday.

His wife... Oh, they got the paperwork. She never, never...

Moms have this instinct not to be distracted for even a moment from their child. She's totally linked into the child. She's aware if there's anything dangerous around the child, slightly dangerous.

And she's totally aware of how's the child's security at any moment. All right. If she hadn't been like that, we surely would have died.

BU LA SDUG BSNGAL I have a close friend, a close friend of my teacher whose child was crushed by a truck because she looked away for a moment. And it happens. They can't run.

They can't think. They just sit there. BU LA SDUG BSNGAL BYUNG BA LAS RANG LA SDUG BSNGAL BYUNG BA ZHES NAS If she had to make a choice between my child suffers or I suffer, she will always choose I suffer.

Okay. This DANG means to choose. ZHING THA NA NYID KYI TSE YANG THA NA means in the end, in the extreme.

NYID KYI TSE NA YANG Even when she's asleep, part of her mind is still looking at her child, still watching her child, even in her sleep. SNAR RGYUN LTAR GYI LOD DANG NYON MA PO She never sleeps as solidly as she used to before she had the baby. She never sleeps as soundly as she did before she had a baby.

Her sleep is always half sleep because she's thinking, is something happening to the baby? All right. And here we have a mother checking her child in the sleep.

And I think nowadays, even when we are... I'm going through this as a grandpa. I have a new grandkid, Maitri.

And I can see that they've learned, Seiji and Nor have learned not to sleep. They've learned to sleep halfway all the time. And it's interesting and it's beautiful.

Okay, so just think about the fact that your mom did this for you and that the ant crawling across the bathroom floor did this for you. Okay, all right. We'll continue with DRIN DRAN in the next episode.