«Дар освобождения», курс 38 «Становясь бодхисаттвой: шаги к порождению желания достичь просветления», занятие 6

[Говорящий 1]
Hi, welcome back to the Lam Rim. We see this beautiful picture here of a mother with her baby. And here's the real story.

Don't forget we're telling the story of the nun named Blue Lotus or Indigo Lotus because Pabongka Rinpoche wants to illustrate that as we go through life, things change, relationships change. We never know what was going on before or after this life. That's the theme behind this story.

And we went to the Sutra of the Wise and Foolish and we found the story and we're telling the whole story, which is why this Lam Rim is taking so many years. BDAG KYANG KUN DU RGYU BA'I RIGS SU SKYES TE I was born into a KUN DU RGYU BA'I RIGS, this is a kind of a religious Brahmin family called Wanderers. They're not like Brahmins, but they are a respectable religious Hindu family I was born into.

KHO MO, by the way, Tim, means me as a woman. KHO MO BPA MA YANG RIGS CHE My parents were of a high caste. And BRTZON PA'I, they were also very religious.

KHO MO YANG KUN DU RGYU RIGS CHE BA And they found for me another person of the same caste as a husband. MANG DU THOS PA, he was very learned. RIGS CHE DANG BSTAN PA ZHIG He knew the Vedas.

He was a Veda master, which is a very desirable husband. ZHIG LA PHAG MAR STAM They married me off to him. NAS DE CHUNG MA BYAS TE And I became his wife.

CHUNG MA means this little one, little lady. And it can mean wife, but it can also mean younger wife if the other person had two wives. DE BU YANG YOD PAR GYUR RTOG And we had a child together.

CI GYUR RGYUG TSE PHOS PA'I OG TU KHO MO LA SEMS CAN YOD PAR GYUR Later on, my mother-in-law passed away and I became SEMS CAN YOD PAR for $100, Tim. Oh, I hope you can probably see it in the notes. SEMS CAN YOD PAR It took me about 10 minutes to figure it out.

SEMS CAN YOD Think of the context. She got married. Nah, forget it.

She got pregnant. She got living being haver. It's cute.

I finally said, oh yeah, okay. SEMS CAN YOD PAR GYUR NAS She got pregnant. And KHYIM THAB She had servants in the house, helpers in the house.

DE LA BDE SKAD CES SO And I said to the servants in the house, KHO MO LA SEMS CAN YOD I have a SEMS CAN. I'm pregnant. BDAG BA YANG MTSAMS And the months are now full, meaning nine months have passed or close to nine months.

DU NYE BA'I The time is near. GAL TE DIR BU BRTZE NA If I give birth to my child here in this house, SO PO It's a little bit not so clean here. And MI THUB It's not that convenient.

So I'm thinking, KHO MO PA MA'I KHYIM DU TSAR GRO I'm going to go have my child at my parents' home. KHO MO LA LEGS SO And my house servants told me, that's a good idea. ZHES ZER TE GAL ZHUGS NI DRONGS NAS So two married couples of servants accompanied me.

RKYANG NAS BU ZHIG RKYANG CI DE And I took a child with me in PHA MA GDOD PAR SO BA NAS And I went to where my parents live, to the place where my parents, I went to see, to go to my parents. LAM CHE'I TZAM DU CHIN PA Halfway to their house along the road, SNGAL MI DE BAR GYUR I felt something uncomfortable in my womb. ZHING ZHIG GI DRUNG DU We stopped at the base of a tree.

NAM CHE'I TZAM NA Around midnight, BU TSE SO My child was born. My son, son was born. KHO MO'I KHYIM THAB KYANG LOG ZHIG NA So now she has two boys with her and the two couples.

KHO MO'I KHYIM THAB KYANG LOG ZHIG NA NYE BA'I One of the couples set up camp nearby where I was having my baby. TSE MO'I BRUL GYIS ZIN DO And they were attacked by a snake in the night. TSE MO'I BRUL NA BYANG MI DRAG NAS They tried to call out, but no one heard them.

NAM LANG STE And then the sun came up the next morning. DE NA And I looked at their campsite. KHYIM THAB KYANG GRUB GDUG PA'I ZIN PA'I TSE PHOS I saw that the snake had killed them, poisoned them with poison.

LUS KYANG ZHIG PAR GYUR TO And eaten their bodies mostly. DE'I TSE NA KHO MO'I KHAMS TE And I passed out from the shock. And I fell down.

SA LA RGYAL BA And I ended up on the ground. BU CHE BA YANG THA BRUL GYIS ZIN PA'I And then the older son that was already there, his father died also, was killed by another snake. And DONG NAS SKAD CUNG DE NGOS PAS I cried out in suffering and weeping.

BU NGOS PAS SKAD KYIS KHO MO'I YANG PHYIR BZANG I'm sorry, the boy started crying and that woke me up. When he saw his father dead, he was crying and that woke me up. And this larger...

So now I have two kids, right? I have one previous son who walked into the jungle with us to go to my parents' house so I could have the other child, but the other child was born suddenly at night. So I put the older kid on my back.

KHO DU MTHONG There's KHO again, load on the back. And BU CHUNG BA NI By the way, that sutra was especially difficult because in this one sentence, there are one, two, three, four, five, six spelling mistakes. THOG BU CHUNG BA PHANG PA KHYAD DE I put the younger, the new child on my hip and weeping as I went, SONG SONG SONG I walked and walked and walked.

LAM YANG NGAN PAR ZHIG DE And then I got to a sort of a wild part of the forest, desolate part of the forest. YANG MIN GRUL I couldn't find anyone to help me. There was no other person on the road and it was passing to a deserted area.

MA NGA'I RDOG There's NGA'I that we had to find, right? Or to locate. BAR NA GCU CHEN PO BAR NA here means there came a time in the interim, somewhere along the road.

GCU CHEN PO ZHIG YOD DE We came to a great river. CHU'I KHA TSUN MIS SPEL YANG CHE LA ZAB PAS The river was very wide and very deep. BU NYID GANG MA THEG NAS Here's THEG PA as YANA, meaning I didn't have the vehicular capacity to carry both kids.

So there's a great ancient use of the word THEG, meaning to be able to carry. NYID GANG MA THEG I couldn't carry both kids across the river. So BU CHE BA NI CHU'I MIS SPEL TSOR ROL DU BZHAG Extremely difficult misspelling.

I left the one, the older boy on the near shore and then I took the younger boy, the newborn, BU CHUNG MU GYUR TE I carried him. BAR DO DU SKYE BA means and I forded across to the other side of the river. SKYE BA NAS CHER CHE BA GZUR DBANG BA DANG And then I turned back.

This CHER means turn back. And the CHE BA GZUR DBANG means I went back to get the older boy on the near side, who I had left while I would carry the newborn to the other side. She dropped, she set the newborn on the ground and came back.

BU YANG MA'ONG And here it's confusing because this MA is not MA'ONG. It's MA'ONG. The older boy saw his mother coming.

CHU'I RNAM DU ZHUGS So he stepped into the river. ZHUGS NAS CHOS KYER And he was carried away by the current. KHO MO SNYAG NA And I reached out for him.

RTOG CHUNG BA'I MA MA BZIN, misspelled. But I didn't have the power to hold on to him. I got his arm, but I couldn't hold on to it.

And the river carried him away. DE NAS PHYIR BAR DOG CHIN Here's BAR DOG CHIN PA in the ancient form, to go to the other side. PHYIR means I went back.

So I turned around and I went back to the far side of the river. BU CHUNG BA'I YANG BYAMS KYIS means a coyote or a wolf. ZOS, past tense, ape.

And I realized the newborn had been eaten by a wolf on the other side of the river. PHYAG CHUNG TSE TZAM SA LA SNANG NGO And he was reduced to a stain of blood in the soil. Small puddle of blood in the soil.

That's all that was left. DER YANG GAM NAS, misspelled. I started to wander around in grief.

RING ZHIG LON TE After many, many hours and a few days, SANGS PA Here's the SANG in SANGS RGYAS, which means to become aware. So I came back to my senses. These are ancient, ancient, useful words.

SANGS TE LAM DU ZHUGS TE I got back on the road to my parents' house. SONG SONG SONG I walked and walked and walked. KUN DU RGYU'I KHO MO'I PHA MA DANG NYE ZHING ZHES PA ZHIG Then I ran into a member of the same caste who was a friend of my parents.

The wandering caste. CHE NAS KUN DU RGYU'I DE GYUR CI NYES NA DE LTAR NYON MONGS PAR GYUR BYED DU NA What's wrong with you and why have you gotten so NYON MONGS PAR? What's distressing you?

There's the ancient meaning of NYON MONGS. What's distressing you so badly? KHO MO'I KYANG JI LTAR GYUR PA RGYAS PAR GTAM BYAS So I told him the whole story extensively.

GTAM means to tell a story. Told him the whole story. KUN DU RGYU'I DE YANG NGOS Misspelled.

He started to weep also. KHO MO'I PHA MA'I GTAM GYUR NA And then I said, well, how are my parents doing? And he said, GYUR KYI PHA MA'I KHYIM DU DE BAR MED SHOR Your parents' house caught on fire since the last time you heard from them.

And PHA MA DANG KHYIM GANG GI MI THAMS CAD Your mother, your father, and everybody in the house was burned to death. MED GCIG ZLOG ZHES ZLOG Okay. He told me.

DE SKYES BYAS MED PAR LTOS NAS KHO MO'I KHAMS TE When I heard what happened to my parents, I passed out again and fell to the earth. SA LA RGYAL TO means I fell to the earth unconscious. DE NAS KUN DU RGYU'I DE LANG STE Misspelled.

Then that person from my same caste picked me up, KHYIM DU PHYIN NAS, and led me to my house, to my parents' house. KHO MO LA BU ZHING Sorry, to his house, and treated me like their own child. That family took me in and treated me like their own kin.

ZHING DUG PA And I started living there with them. YANG KUN DU RGYU'I PHYIN GYI CHUNG BAR LANG STE And in time, another man approached me and we got close and I was married to him. LANG STE DE DANG LHAN CIG TSE DGA' YONGS SU SPYOD PA We enjoyed love and pleasure, meaning they had sex.

And SEMS CAN, I became SEMS CAN Dan. Yeah, I became living being again. BDAG BA TZANG NAS When the months were complete, nine months, BU CHUNG DE I had a child.

The child came out. I'm sorry, when the child was close to coming out, BYUNG DU NYE BAR NA KHYIM RTAG GZHAN GYI KHYIM DU TZANG NA PHOS NAS I decided I would need some help, so I went to another family's house. DE YOD TU BDAG BU TSE DE And I gave birth on the floor of their house.

DGOS DAM DU BYAS I had made the door fast after I got to their house because I guess there was nobody at the house. So I went inside, I shut the door and, I don't know, bolted it. And then I laid down, I had the baby.

DGOS DAM DU BYAS BU TSIR There's the word for squeezing sponsors. TSIR Okay, I squeezed out the baby. TSIR NAS KHYIM RTAG GZHAN GYI GNYUR TE And the owner of the house came back totally drunk.

Apparently he's a bad guy. He came back to the house totally drunk. GNYUR TE DGOS BDUN He's banged on the door.

I couldn't get up to open it. So he, DGOS BYAS PA MED PAS Because he couldn't open the door, PHYIR TE He got pissed off. And DGOS CHAGS He smashed the door down.

NANG DU'ONG Came inside and also beat me. Gave me a good beating. I just kept giving birth to a child.

BDAG GIS BU TSE SO I said, look, I just gave birth to a child. BU YANG SRED PAS He killed the child and fried it in a frying pan. He took the child's body and fried it in a frying pan.

BDOD NAS KHO MO YANG SRAR BCUG He tried to get me to eat the child also, the child's flesh also. BU'I SHA SA MA PHOD I couldn't do it. DE MA SRED PA'I YANG BDEGS And because I wouldn't eat the child's flesh, he beat me up again.

NEN GYIS SRAR BCUG And then he forced the food into my mouth. Forced my own child's flesh into my mouth. SRED PA'I ROG DU KHYIM BDAG KYANG SONG Then after I had eaten my child, I came back to my senses.

BDAG GIS BSAM PA And I thought to myself, BDAG GSOS NAMS MED I don't have any SOS NAMS. Apparently I don't have any good karma at all. MED CING LAS NGAN NO My karma's all bad. NYAMS NAS KHYIM THUB POR TE I decided to give up the home life and I headed for Varanasi.

WARA NAS YOD DROD SO I escaped to Varanasi. YUL BAR NA SA'I CHU ROL NA ZHING ZHIG GI CHUNG NA DUG PA LAS Outside of Varanasi city, I was sitting at the base of a tree. CHUNG DE KHYIM THUB ZHUNG NA ZHIG And there was a young family man of the city who had come out of the city to bury his wife's ashes.

His wife had died. CHUNG MA TSE PHOS means PHOS BA, right? His own wife's had died.

And CHUNG KHYAD DE PHYI ROL DU Outside of the city, CHUNG MED ROL BU BAS NAS he was burying or hiding the bones of his cremated wife. KHYIM DAG DE CHUNG MA DE LA CHAGS PAS ROL BU He had been very close to his wife. And the ROL BU SDUG NA Again, everything misspelled.

NGOS ZHING SDUG PA LAS He was sitting at her graveside crying. And I came upon him. BDAG GIS CHUNG DU DBANG STE KHO MO LA GYUR CIG PA RTE NA CIG BYAS BYAS DRIS SO And he saw me and he said, what are you doing here by yourself?

Like an Indian woman never is outside by herself in the forest. He said, what are you doing here by yourself? KHO MOD KYANG DE BZHIN DU DAM BYAS PA NAS I told him my whole story.

KHYIM DAG DE KHYIM MTSAL DU CIG DE He took me to the Jetavana. The garden, yeah, the garden. Sorry, this is not the Jetavana.

This is just a general royal park. He took me to the royal park, which is where Buddha hangs out usually. CI DE KHO MO LA CHUNG MA CHAGS ZHES MED NAS He said, hey, how about we get married?

And you become my wife. KHO MOD KYANG DE BZHIN DU RUNG NGO I said, well, that would be okay. I don't have a husband.

KHYO ZHUG TU BDUN NAS We became man and wife. RING PO MA LONG BAR After not long, KHYIM DAG, my husband, NAS KYIS BDAG Stricken by disease. TSE PO, he died.

TSE BU NAS, DE'I TSE NA YUL CHUG GIS GSON PA'I TSAD KHYO ZHIG RTZA BA RNAMS KHYO TSE BU NA And according to the current customs of that part of India, if the husband died and the wife was still alive, RTZA BA RNAMS KHYO TSE BU NA CHUNG MA YANG GSOS PAR KHYO DANG LHAN CIG TU BDUR DU BYUD GO What's BDUR TU, remember? In Vajrayana, it's a burial ground, right? According to the custom of that part of India, the wife should be buried alive with the husband's body.

All right. Which is still happens. KHO MO YANG DE DAG DUR DU CHUG NAS So they buried me with him.

But after sunset, some robbers, grave robbers came to dig and try to see if there's any jewelry on the bodies. DUR DU, they dug down into where I was and DUR BKUN GYIS BUM BU KHO MO SANG BA The chief of the robber band saw that I was alive. SANG BA Still hale, hale and healthy.

And MTHONG BA'I DE KYANG CHUNG MA I became his CHUNG MA. He took me as his wife. I don't know how many times now.

BUM BU MA LON PA Before long had passed, KUR SONG BA LAS On a robbing trip, RGYAL BUD ZE The king killed him. He was killed by the king's troops on a robbing trip. KUN DANG RNAMS KYIS RUL BU GUR TE KHO MO DANG BYAS YANG DUR DU CHUG GO So his companions took his bones and buried me with them, again.

I was buried again with the corpse of my next husband. THOR NA ZHAG GSUM DUG DUG PA LAS I was three full days half buried in the burial ground. And at CAN GYIS, another wolf came.

DUR, dig me out. Okay, I guess he didn't ask her to be his wife. KHO MO YANG DUR NA'I CHUNG DE And then by accident, he dug me out of the grave as well.

And I started to think about it. DE NYAM DU BSAM SO I started to think to myself, KHO MO RNAMS DUG PA GCIG BYED NA I misspelled. What did I do in my past life that was so bad that this keeps happening to me?

BDIN DAG BAR LEN DU MA ZHI BA LAS PHYIR GSOS PA RGYUR And why do I keep getting saved at the last minute? Why do I keep surviving? SNGON THOS NA In a previous life, ZHAG BSKYED RIGS KYI ZAS ZHIG SNGON PAR BYAMS CHUB NAS It appears that a certain prince of the ZHAG BSKYED clan had become enlightened.

Sorry, in this life. TSE NYAM And they started calling him Buddha. SANGS RGYAS Some ZHAG BSKYED prince got enlightened and people started calling him Buddha.

DE PA DANG PO PA'I KHYUN KHYEN NO ZHES BDAG NA It's supposed to be that he can see all things of past and future. So maybe he can tell me what the hell is going on. I'll go find him and ask him, what did I do?

This is all happening to me. BDAG NAS DE LA BSKYED TSUL DRO BA NYAMS BSAMS NAS I thought, let me go and seek his shelter. BSKYAMS DRO This is literal meaning of BSKYAMS DRO, going for refuge.

RGYAL BU RGYAL CHE GYI RTZAL Then he went to the Jetavana, which is that...

[Говорящий 2]
That Shravasti?

[Говорящий 1]
Shravasti. She went outside the city of Shravasti to the gardens of Prince Jetha. RTZAL GANG DU SLOGS SU SONG BA I went to that place.

RGYAL MA NAS And from a distance, DE BZHIN SHES PA MED TOG GI SDONG PO RGYAS PA LTA BU I saw Lord Buddha who looked like, from a distance, he looked like a huge flower opening. GANG RIM NAS SNANGS NA LTA BA LTA BUR MTHONG NGO Or you can say he looked like the full moon surrounded by the stars of the galaxy. Very beautiful.

From a distance, he looked like that. DE'I TSE CHEN PO'I BDE'I KYIS KYANG THOB PA MED PA'I YOD ZHIG GIS At that moment, the Buddha was also employing his unstoppable, THOB MED, asanga wisdom. BDAG LTOS BA'I DUS LA BAP PAR KHYEN He saw that the time had come.

DUS LA BAP, the time had befallen that I should be DUL BA'I, that I should become a disciple. KHYEN NAS ZHENGS, honorific, he rose from his seat. And KHO MO SU'O, he greeted me.

Very beautiful. The scene is very beautiful. I was buck naked because I just got out of the grave.

I was completely naked. MNGOL TSA, out of MNGOL TSA, out of shame, with my hand, I covered my breasts. KAP NAS, I covered my breasts.

And I just sat where I was because I was afraid to stand and approach him. And bad news, we're going to stop the story there because you will have to come back to find out the rest of the story. Okay, so this is like those TV shows where you have to come back for the rest of the story.

[Говорящий 2]
Like a good boy.

[Говорящий 1]
Yeah, like a good boy. So that happens to be where we should split the story and we'll pick it up in the next class. But don't forget why we're talking about this story is that from lifetime to lifetime, here's a nun who became an arhat at the feet of Lord Buddha himself.

She was trained by the first nun of all, Prajapati. And so we're talking about, you never know who somebody is. Right now, she's a naked, crazy woman who just crawled out of a grave.

And what's going to happen? Find out next time, see you then.