«Дар освобождения», курс 32 «Пустое приходящее, ментальные бомбы», занятие 4

[Speaker 1]
Okay, here we go. Okay, don't forget your inner group and try not to move. Relax your forehead.

Relax your smile. Pulling your stomach slightly, shoulders back, fingers relaxed, eyes soft. If you feel sleepy, maybe open them a little bit.

And then we'll come to our breath. Ten long exhales, and let the inhales take care of themselves. Please bring one of your teachers to the room to sit with you.

The main thing is they're just very happy that you're meditating and that you're asking. And bow down to your teacher by thinking about some beautiful quality you enjoy about them. Then make offering or something good you've done or something good you've seen.

Then open your heart and tell them about any mistakes you've made, especially in the last few days. You hurt someone. Then something nice you've done or something nice you've seen somebody do.

Don't be lazy about this one. Find something sweet that you've done. Being here at Dharma Mountain is a big thing to take all the trouble to come here.

Ask the teacher to teach you. Keep teaching. Ask them to stay with you.

Now I'd like you to check in with your mind. It's a morning mind at a very quiet place, Dharma Mountain. And probably our mind is pretty smooth, glassy.

The water of the mind is pleasant, quiet. So we'll just observe it for about 10 or 20 breaths. Observe what the quiet morning mind looks like.

We've been talking about different triggers for glacious negative emotions. For example, we brought someone in the room that we don't like, or we thought about our addictions. We also talked about the trigger of old mental afflictions, old negative emotions that tend to repeat each other.

We talked about bad friends and good friends as triggering our negative emotions. We talked about being busy or thinking about many things we have to do which can trigger negativity in our mind. And today what I'd like to do is go back in your life and try to think of the first person you can remember that you had trouble with, who gave you some trouble.

Like for me, I grew up with four brothers. We love each other very much, but we also had many fights and trouble with each other. So I'd like you to go back in your life and think about what was the first person in your life when you were very young that you used to get angry about or used to have trouble with them.

So we'll spend about four or five minutes. Go back in your life as early as you can and find one of the first people you used to have trouble with. Here we go.

I'd like you to think about early addictions. Maybe it was some kind of food or other addiction, but what was your first addiction that you can think of when you were just a child? Now please come to your state of mind.

Look at your state of mind. Has the water become more agitated or choppy compared to when we started? When we started, I think most of us had a very clear, smooth, glassy state of mind, the water of the mind.

Then we thought about someone who gave us trouble very early. Then we thought about little addictions we had as a child. And even just thinking about those things has stirred up old memories, stirred up old feelings.

So please take a look at those feelings and compare it to the early morning mind. How has the water become more stirred up? And then finally, if I met a person when I was so young that bothered me, and if things are coming from me like a pen, then what kind of thing did I do to create this person?

When did I have time to plant those seeds? And what did I maybe do in my past life to meet someone when I'm so young who would stir up my mind, give me a pleasure? So try to imagine maybe how we created these people in our early, early life.

Or how did we have an addiction already when we're so young? What did I do in my past life? So try to guess what you might have done in your past life to have these addictions so young, or to meet someone so young that they gave me trouble.

Okay, here we go. Think about the causes in the past life we might have planted. And please come back to your breath.

Three long exhales to share the good karma of your meditation. Three long exhales. Don't open your eyes yet, and don't move yet.

And slowly open your eyes. Take a stretch. Doing something.

I think if you had brothers and sisters, then that's automatically the klesha producer in your early life. Anybody like to share about the first one they remember? Thank you, Geshe-la.

I can remember my first one have a trouble is my younger brother. We always fight at home. And then, when you lead us go to the last, go to the, you know, past life.

And when I fight with my brother, I always think he just give me trouble, don't let me do whatever I want. So then go to the past life. I feel that maybe I also be an irritating people for someone, like I always control, they don't want them to do that.

So I think, for right now, I also have this kind of things. Like, like now I with my father also, I love him a lot. But so funny is when I go to pay a visit with him, sometimes we fight.

My father say something, I will automatically feel unhappy. So thank you, this meditation helped me to find something. Yeah, I might need to do something with this, this problem.

Thank you so much. Anybody else? Want to tell me about your little brother?

[Speaker 2]
I had my grandfather come to me, when I was a little girl, maybe four. My, my grandfather, who was Polish, he was Jadzio. I went to him, and I told him something that had happened that was true.

And he looked at me, and he said, No, that didn't happen. And he just went right over my head. And he insisted on a different scenario from what this little four year old girl knew was true.

And I was so shocked. I was like, my grandfather is just not understanding what is true. So I don't know, past life, I must have been some kind of despot or something, you know, some oligarch or bureaucrat that was just making people do things that had nothing to do with reality and forced it on them.

[Speaker 1]
Cool. Who else? Thank you, Geshe-la.

I come to my early years. I remember it was like a bit over one year old. I went out with my grandma, and I just met another child on the road.

And I don't like him, so I beat him.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, I feel scared, and I run back home to hide, because the parents are coming to search for me.

[Speaker 1]
And I have this memory, so it's a kind of irritating and fear inside.

[Speaker 2]
And addiction is mainly about the food, especially like a special kind of food, quite the same to your things. And to the earlier, previous lives, it's back to almost 2,000 years ago. I was a kid in that life.

[Speaker 1]
I died like 50 years old, with like seven to eight wives, no kids.

[Speaker 2]
So I have a kind of irritating mind to say, I have so many wives, I don't have any kids, and you are so unable to give me the kids. So it's a kind of negative judgment. I have that a lot today.

[Speaker 1]
So I found the clue, it's like, it seems the others does not bother me so obviously, but I continue to give negative judgment, and to make negative actions later on. So that's my issues. Thank you.

I think Noor had, in the back. Thank you. Thank you, Geshe-la, for teaching.

Please stay and teach us. For me, it was hard to remember any irritating person before age of seven or eight, so it seems like I was calm by that time. I needed to go up a little bit in the meditation, like to go to nine or ten years.

Addiction I didn't find, unless addiction to books. I was collecting books when I was young. And the irritating person, unfortunately, was my father, who used to be very angry all the time, until now I can say.

And I think this is my seeds for misunderstanding from past life, because he was extremely angry for anything. So, in this short meditation helped me a little bit to release this tension to him, because he's my seeds, and I have been going to a lower middle school long time before avoiding him, but now is no way to avoid it anymore. So, thank you for this, and I just felt like sharing it with you.

Thank you. Okay, we're going to go to the text, okay? And it's going to give us some help about this.

If you look at your meditation sheets, there's a number 11. It's holding a sword. Find it?

What page? Page five, okay? And there's a sword.

We're going to go through these six triggers for negative emotions, and today we did seeds, today we looked at seeds. So, maybe from your past life you already had some anger, or you were angry to other people, or in your past life you had already some addiction. I don't know, for me it was sweets.

And, so that's what we explored today. Second one is proximity. It means when the person who irritates you is close by, or the yo-child that you like is close by, then it tends to cause the negative emotions nearby.

Third one is overstimulation, and that's where we're too busy, and thinking about too many things, and it tends to support our negative emotions. Fourth one is friends, what's that mean? Yeah, bad friends, people who are nearby us and cause us trouble when we're around them.

Five and six we didn't really do yet, so I'm going to save that for tomorrow, okay?