«Дар освобождения», курс 29 «Большой побег», занятие 9

[Speaker 1]
You can yawn, but yawn quietly. Come to a noise in the room, and we'll stay here pretty long. Glue your mind.

If you can, go deeper. Heartbeat. Inside the heart.

Heartbeat to a distance. Sugar crystal. Ocean.

Space. Turn off your mind. Block thoughts.

Turn off your mind. Ignore the thoughts. Ask one of your teachers in your life to come and sit with you.

Think about your first meeting with this teacher. What events caused it? What were the outside causes?

How did they come to the meeting? How did you come to the meeting? What brought you through your life to this meeting?

What brought them through their life to this meeting? What so-called caused the meeting? Now, try hard to understand that this teacher meeting you didn't come from those causes.

In fact, the causes never touch the result. Whatever events happened before you met could not touch the meeting because the meeting began after the last cause stopped. The events and the outside causes that you always thought brought this teacher to you and you always thought brought them, brought you to them are actually not happening.

Your seeds created the events on your side. Each event that brought you to your meeting. And amazingly, your seeds also created the events on their side that brought them to this meeting.

Their birth, their education, their growing up, their getting their job, them coming to the place where you first met them. You created all those things. You forced them to come to you.

To plant the seeds for a teacher you must have shared some kind of wisdom, knowledge with other people. So now we're not talking about some quality of the teacher like their patience or their compassion. Now we're talking about their existence in your life.

It must be that you shared your wisdom, your understanding in a past life. You must have been some kind of teacher. So please take a trip back to your past life.

Choose a country. Choose a time in history. Decide, was I male or female?

How old was I? What was my work? How did I dress?

How did I speak? And have fun and relax. We're all here having sweet time together.

There's no pressure. Take your time. Go back to your past life.

If anything you can imagine you deserve, you planted that seed also. So trust what you imagine. Make a beautiful story of where were you and how did you share wisdom with other people.

Come back to the center of your own mind. See those silver seeds laying in the middle of your mind. See one of them open.

Out comes a small picture made of light. It's called teacher. The chi chedak, chi of teacher out of the mind.

And it settles on the person in front of you. And because of that coating you see a teacher. Let another seed open.

Let another picture come out. Coat them and you see teacher. And seeds opened for years with this person.

And they made you see teacher. If you keep sharing what you understand you will keep planting seeds and you will keep seeing this beautiful teacher in your life. We don't know everything.

We're not great masters in our practice. We have many failures. But we're trying.

And it's creating our teacher. The last part of this meditation I'd like to ask you to imagine if you met a friend a few days after you leave this beautiful diamond mountain. And they asked you, what did you learn?

What happened to you in your meditation? What experiences did you have that are beautiful? And what difficulties did you have?

What would you tell them? Think about it for a few minutes. What can you say that would help your friend?

About the good things and about the hard things. Three long breaths. Share the karma of this meditation with people in this world.

Sooner or later they will breathe the same air. And then slowly open your eyes. Take a stretch.

Mr. Tim, we're going to have people talk about their experiences again. As soon as everyone has stretched a little. Drink something.

Anybody need some water? I have one. Mundo.

Pronto, pronto. We're going to play for half an hour. Relax.

Relax. Listen to our friends. Then we'll do some hard work.

Something.

[Speaker 2]
My name is Uwe.

[Speaker 1]
I'm from Vermont for 20 years. Originally Germany. I lived in lower campus in a tent out in the wilderness.

And it was a bit scary in the beginning. Just me and all the wild animals and the storm and the tents. And then after a while, I kind of sunk in that it's coming from me.

So I started to feel very comfortable out there. Me and all the wild animals. So there was that part.

And what I really enjoyed was having a little sangha here in this place. Meeting while you're up in the mountains. We had a very fierce meditation session going on here.

Showing up on time and ending on time. It was great. We really felt like we were one group.

One body. And then what was new to me was making sticks. Just making sticks.

[Speaker 2]
I had to cut branches from a tree.

[Speaker 1]
And then cut them in certain lengths and polish them. And many, many times over. I think it's exercise in emptiness.

And I just heard like 10 minutes ago, I'm not done yet. Mr. Scott. You're doing your thing.

[Speaker 2]
Thank you, Tim. My name is Connie O'Brien. I'm from Sedona.

[Speaker 1]
I thought your name was O'Brady. It's O'Brady.

[Speaker 2]
I must say, I very much enjoyed the partner in my cabin. It was very wonderful doing a retreat with John. I really loved the lion's dance and I loved checking out could I make my mind shift back and forth and how quickly.

And would it be happy to do that? And it was. I was really surprised.

Sometimes, you know, I feel a sense of loss from three-year retreat and how we were able to go so deep in three-year retreat. But this meditation really has a... It had something for me.

It was very juicy for me and I really enjoyed it a lot. And I love the wind out there at that far end of the retreat valley. So beautiful.

[Speaker 1]
Hi. My name is Rachna. I'm from New York.

When the meditation was good, it was phenomenal. When the meditation was good, it was phenomenal. But I was maybe not surprised, but the meditation wasn't good more often than I would have liked.

So I realized how much I need to practice every single day. And then a question came up. Although this is sharing, not Q&A.

I have a question around if we succeed, then we can escape death for ourselves and all other people. But then I think it was said that actually the other people still see themselves as not being enlightened, but we see them as being enlightened. So then, do they escape death or not?

And I was confused by that, which kept coming up. Short answer. So they say what's the greatest thing a Buddha can do?

Teach. Teach. So yeah, if you teach them, they will see the same immortality that you see in them.

They will see in themselves. Thank you.

[Speaker 2]
Hi, I'm Vimala from Sedona.

[Speaker 1]
I thought you were a moon.

[Speaker 2]
Well, I had a great retreat, but it wasn't easy.

[Speaker 1]
First two days were a lot of purification, and I couldn't get into... I'd be excited to do the meditation, and I'd get on my cushion, and I just couldn't meditate.

[Speaker 2]
So I was doing meditations, and then naps, and meditations, and naps, and migraines, and then the third day was really good.

[Speaker 1]
I wasn't upset with myself for having the last two days not so good. And then this morning's meditation was just awesome. So I just realized that I had to go through those to get to the one good meditation that I had this morning.

So thank you, Holy Lama.

[Speaker 2]
I'm Michael from Vancouver, Canada. Thank you, Geshe-la, for teaching. Thank you.

So starting off on the first day, it was a little bit rough, my meditations, just never really fully focusing, and always being interrupted, and opening my eyes, closing them. Then the last two, I really stepped it up and got serious about it and made some progress and was happy with that. And I was more prepared this time than last time since I was just new into this whole emptiness and meditation.

So I did have more experience and was a lot more in control of everything. Yeah, thank you.

[Speaker 1]
Thanks for teaching. Alison. Where is she from?

I'm from Shenzhen, China. I'm Annie. I'd like to thank Geshe Michael's teaching.

Personally, I benefited a lot from it. Personally, I learned Lamrim twice in total for six years in China. Personally, I took refuge with a teacher called Jiqun Master in Suzhou, in a monastery there.

Personally, I learned a lot of teachings on the commentary on the Lamrim, but we didn't practice much on the meditation on Lamrim. Last year, in December, after learning your teaching, I had more understanding of Vipashyana and Samatha. I feel good, and I can see in my dreams there are two levels in my dreams.

I can see more dreams, another dream, in my dreams. I don't know what happened, but it's wonderful. I can see I'm sitting on a deer mound and floating on the ocean, and I'm enjoying it very much.

So I don't know if it's a good condition or not good condition, because they said this is not the way to see the emptiness. I think if you come more times, you'll have more experience, and then you will be able to go deeper. So I think it's okay.

Good beginning. Mr. Tim. I'm Luca from Shanghai, China.

Thank you a lot for Geshe-la's teaching. You guys don't have to thank me every time. Actually, during my retreat, especially during the mantra, I really did a long list about the persons I really want to thank for.

A long list, not finished yet. Actually, the first day I slept a lot. I just reminded myself to relax, relax, relax.

Because for coming to this retreat, I really did a lot, a lot of effort. It's just too much work, too much, I don't know, life burden. And finally I come, I just tell myself to sleep in the flight, and also tell myself to relax.

So the first day I slept a lot, more than 18 hours. And the next day I don't have any sleep. Even in the night I just slept for two hours.

But the meditation improved bit by bit. actually I did a lot of problem-solving meditation during the lion dance, especially on round four. I think totally I did like six or seven times on round four.

Actually I did a list of people I needed to talk to after the retreat. So now I'm trying to figure it out. And I just realized this is the only way to achieve the ultimate goal, to be in the retreat.

And it's not only talking about the time and the money to come here. It's only when I'm here I can realize there is a life destiny I must go through. I just have this understanding during this retreat.

Thank you. Thank you, Geshe-la, for these teachings. For me it was very similar.

It was a very relaxing retreat. I had also a lot of ups and downs. I had some meditations that for me were very insightful and some that were terrible.

And the main thing that I take from it is that I need to practice more.

[Speaker 2]
And at the same time it's only after working for DCI that really the insights start to come, the deeper insights start to come to me.

[Speaker 1]
So I'm grateful and at the same time I know that I need to work a lot more. Thanks, Geshe. And I want to thank everyone here in this room.

I did the volunteer, the Diamond Mountain volunteer, a couple weeks before, the Lam Rim. It was amazing. So I had some time to ask myself why I was here, before the Lam Rim.

like cleaning the yard and different kind of work, like physical work, I realized it was like magical work that I was doing, speaking with the things, so the things were actually in my head, like cleaning the yard was cleaning something inside of me. It was before Lam Rim and I didn't know about the concept of emptiness or no self-nature. And in that way it's been very important for me in my life, this Lam Rim.

It's my first one and it's the first time I understand meditation. I had some introduction to meditation with Michael, but I think with learning the Lion's Dance, I really understand what it's about, and it's been very great for me. I've been doing it five times a day here in the temple with Eva and Michael and a couple of visitors that came, and I was like the guard of the temple some couple nights when Rio left.

I was sleeping here, so I feel very great with the Jetsun Kappa looking at me when I was sleeping. And I just feel in such a holy place to be. I feel very grateful because of that and because of all the good teachings the people here are giving.

Thank you. Yay! Sorry, I forgot my question because I'm a little bit emotional.

No, it's pretty good. I have like, I have two questions. One is about in the meditation because sometimes when I'm in the eight steps, levels, when I'm glued to the object, I create other objects in the same object.

Like when I am inside of the heart chamber, I create a rose with a purple flame or stuff like that. And it just came, and sometimes I let it to be there. Sometimes I fight them to go.

And I have others like when I was in the ocean, I kind of feel the deep of the ocean, like the mist, like smell the mist, but then I start creating like a sheep and dolphins.

[Speaker 2]
So, my question is if it's good to let that objects came to the object or just to glue to the main object and others to go away?

[Speaker 1]
Okay, good question. It's possible if you feel something's important about the ship or about the purple flame or the rose, right? If you think there's some meaning to it, then choose to follow it.

If you think there's no big meaning to it, choose not to follow it. So, the goal is you have power over your mind. You can tell your mind.

Your mind is like a good dog on a rope. Okay, you can look at this rose for five breaths, okay? Then we're going to the next, then we're going to outer space.

So, talk to your mind and it's like if you have a bad dog and he tells you where to walk. Sometimes you see big human with a small dog, but the real boss is the small dog. So, just make sure you can tell your mind where you're going next.

And that's okay. Maybe something beautiful going to happen with the rose. But you're the boss.

Alright. I think we'll go to Lam Rim because we got a lot to go. Anybody need a pee pee break?

You okay? You alright? Okay, if you need, just go.

We'll go to Lam Rim. We're doing okay on that review. Okay.

We're on the fifth of the problems of human life. What was the first one? NYES PA MED PA No guarantees.

Let's call it no guarantees. You don't know where you're going to be tomorrow. You could be in another world.

We don't know, okay? It doesn't take much. Human body is very fragile.

Second one? Yeah, you can't get no satisfaction. We're never satisfied.

We always want more. Third one? You have to keep taking off your clothes, meaning you have to keep removing your body to go to the next one.

And then the next one is easy. Yeah, you have to keep being reborn again and again. Fifth one.

A lot of people mentioned it during the retreat. Up and down, up and down, up and down, okay? Just when your life is going good, something messes up.

And just when you think there's no hope, some uncle sends you money. Okay. Alright.

Here we go. SNGAGS PA, you okay Adam? Yeah, okay.

Oh yeah. Look for LNGA PA. LNGA PA.

There you go. That's it. That's it.

Okay. SNGAGS PA YANG YANG MTHO MAN DU RGYUR BA'I NYES PA NI So, MTHO MAN means we keep going up and down in life, okay? Just when you think things are good, something happens to mess you up.

SDU BA LUNG LAS. Then he quotes a Vinaya scripture. SA PA KUN GYI THAMS CAD CING THON PO RNAMS KYI THA STUNG RGYUR PHRAD PA'I THA NI BYA BA STE GSUNGS PA'I THA NI CI BA YIN SA PA means as soon as you gather together things you want, the outcome is that they wear out.

You finally get a car, your own car, and then it wears out. ZAD PA means this ZAD PA without the M with the L, means to wear out. THON PO RNAMS KYI THA STUNG RGYUR The outcome of being in a high position, powerful, having money, is that you lose it.

Always. BYAS PA'I THA NI BYAL BA STE The outcome of meeting someone and getting to know them is that you will lose them. Okay?

The outcome of connecting with someone is that you will lose them. GSUM PA'I THA NI CHU BA YIN The outcome of being alive is dying, okay? You know, where is it going?

Okay, the THA here means, where is it going? As soon as you're alive, it's going towards your death. As soon as you meet someone, it's headed towards losing them.

As soon as you get a position or some money, you're headed towards losing it. And as soon as you can get stuff together in your life, it starts to melt away. ZHES NOR MDZAD BSAGS PA'I THAR BRDZAD PA DANG Then he gives some examples.

The end of collecting money in your life is that you lose it all. People spend their whole life collecting money, houses. And it's kind of, you know, people who look on the package, cigarette package, and it says, this is going to kill you, and they smoke it anyway.

There's nobody who has any money at all who would believe that they can keep it forever. They all understand they have to lose it, but they still do it. It's like smoking cigarettes after you read the warning.

You see what I mean? They know it's crazy and they keep doing it because there's nothing else to do. MTHUN PA'I THAR LTUNG BA As soon as you get any kind of position, any kind of advancement in your life, you will slide back.

RGYUD PA'I THAR BRTZA BA As soon as you meet people, you're going to lose them. SKAD PA'I THAR SPYI BA He changes it from the end of living is death. He changes it to KHYA BA.

Yeah, as soon as you're born, you have a certain problem, which is called death. What's the twelfth link of the Wheel of Life? Aya!

Aging and death. So, there's a big debate in the Wheel of Life books. There are many great books.

Vasubandhu wrote a great one. I translated it. Someday you should read it.

For fun. It's very, very long. Why didn't they make thirteen links?

Yeah. They put aging and death in link number twelve because some people die in the womb before they're born. THAR BYED PA'I DE'I BYED KYI THAR ZHIG GSUNGS PA LTAR These are called the four outcomes of things that were caused by causes.

The four outcomes are lost, basically. LTAR KHOR BA'I PHUN SOGS BYIN RTAG ZHIG THOB KYANG No matter what kind of good thing you get in your life, THAR DGOS PA'I MA RDUS PA'I MED PA'I NA In the end, everything is trouble. Whatever good thing happens to you in your life, sooner or later it's going to become a problem.

RGYAS SHES SANGS BU BAS This is a lama from about a thousand years ago. His name was Sang Pua. KHOR BA'I DIR KHYEN BU MANG PO ZHIG CHE DGOS PA DI NYAMS LA RE MA BAB ZHES GSUNGS PA NAS He says, the minute I start thinking about the ups and downs in my life, I just feel unhappy all the time.

When I admit that life is going to be ups and downs, I can't be happy. Okay? RE MA BAB LA RE MA BAB My mind is never settled.

Okay? DER MA ZAD RDZU BA DUS MED RDZUB RDZUB PA'I NAS GANG PHYOR PA SOGS KYANG And then we spend our whole lives working so hard. You know, my mom, her big goal in life was to buy a house, and she did.

She got a house and a car and then she died. Like a few weeks after she got the car. Her first new car in her life.

You know, she worked for her whole life and finally buy a new car and then we sold it. There was nobody to drive it. RDZUB RDZUB PA'I NAS GANG PHYOR PA DANG YANG NA BRAS MTHO GAM YANG NA BDAG PO RANG NYID ZHI BA LTA BU CHUNG STE You know, things happen.

Forces tear away the things you collected. It could be a war. It could be people who don't like you.

Things tear away the things you have. Or, BDAG PO RANG NYID ZHI BA LTA BU The thing has to go looking for a new owner. Okay?

The owner dies. The stuff is... The new car got stuck in the garage by itself.

It's looking for a new driver. By the way, at this point, I put a meditation number eight in your Lam Rim, Great Escape Meditations. It's an actor, a famous American actor.

His name was Christopher Reeve. He was Superman, which means he was the most handsome and strong guy in America because he's so handsome and he's so strong. So, they chose him to be Superman in the movies.

Then, he fell off a horse. Next picture. Same guy.

Go back. Picture. Next picture.

Okay? He fell off a horse. He hurt his spine and he couldn't walk.

And he died in a wheelchair. Okay? After 20 more years.

He had to live like that. Okay? Up and down.

Okay? You don't know. You know, he was the strongest, most handsome guy in America.

They chose him to be Superman, right? And then he spent 20 years in a wheelchair. Then he died because he couldn't breathe.

Okay? He couldn't have the strength to pull breath. Okay?

RANG RES LA SLOB SOGS DAG DANG NYAMS DU RDZOM PA SDIG RNAMS KYANG LO KA ZHIG ZHIG SONG TZAM NAS NGES PAR BRAL DE GRO Then he says, and this is a theme in Pabongka's teaching. He often talks about the people in the room. Okay?

He says, look, there's me in the room and there's you in the room. And we came together to have a teaching together and time will tear us apart, one by one. One by one, time will tear us apart.

One person will leave or die or go somewhere. Then another person, then another person. Eventually, time will tear all of us apart.

Okay? In this room. He said that and then it happened, right?

They're all dead now. In the Lam Rim, he says, we're all going to die someday. There'll be a day when nobody in this room is left alive.

First one of us will die and then the rest. And it came true. It's kind of weird when you read it because it came true.

There is nobody left from that talk that he gave. Okay? Same with us.

Okay? Unless we practice well. All right.

We understand what to do. RGYAL CHOG RGYAL SANG RGYAL TSOG This is the seventh Dalai Lama who was a great tantric teacher. Okay?

MTHO BA NYID KYANG MI RING BSDUS SU, RGAMS PA GNOD OS DRAN DU RGYUR I understand that when you reach a high position, eventually you will end up as someone nobody likes anymore. You'll go very low. He uses kind of a hard word.

He says, you will literally be kicked around by other people. You know? People will kick you around.

ZHES SPRING LAS He goes back to Nagarjuna's letter to a king. RGYAL CHEN JIG RTEN OS CHOS RGYUR NAS NI LAS KYI DBANG GI CHOS YANG SA BRTEN GUNG You can be the king of the gods and the whole world is offering things to you and then because of karma, your past karma, you are thrown to the earth. KHOR DU RGYUR BA NYID DU RGYUR NAS KYANG Even if you become one of those emperors of the whole world, KHOR DU BA BDAG TU YANG CHEN NYID DU RGYUR People like that tend to fall hard.

They tend to, the most powerful people politically tend to end up in jail, for example. Okay? We see it all the time.

CHES GSUNGS PA LTAR THO BA LA TZAM PA RGYAL JIN SOGS KYANG DE LTAR GYUR This happens even to mighty beings who control all planets. MA BA LA RANG RES JIG RTEN GYI THOB GOS SA CHUNG BA SOGS LA'ANG GNYIS PO MED TE And if we happen to get some kind of position, we eventually lose it anyway. RJE BSGUNG THANG PA This is a famous lama, BSGUNG THANG BYAMS PA'I YANG I think we studied him when we did the poem at the end of the Diamond Cutter Sutra.

MING GOS TZAM RGAM PAR ZHING SDONG LA RJES RTOGS RJES RTOGS RDZIGS BYAS NA DRAG SA DRAG SA NAS BYAGS PA ATSA MA SKAD PAR RUD DE NA CHOG PA LA Then he compares a position in a company or political position or position in a family to a dry tree. You see trees around here didn't get enough water and they dried out. So they still look like a tree, they don't have any leaves, but they dried out.

So he compares getting positions to climbing out further and further on the branches. Then? Yeah, it breaks and you fall.

Like inevitably people who seek position always fall. SKAD PAR RUD DE NA CHOG PA LA Maybe it's better to stick near the trunk of the tree. Like don't be so ambitious, you want to get higher and higher and higher.

It's better maybe don't try to get a high position. You will fall. Then he gives a terrible story.

This is a very sad story. In the time of the Fifth Dalai Lama who built the Potala Palace. He was a great, great, great scholar and he had an amazing assistant Secretary of State and his name was Desi Sangye Gyatso.

Very, extremely intelligent. He was a great writer himself and his books are amazing. And so he ran the country basically.

Second most powerful man in the country. DESI SANGYE GYATSO SHES SHUNG SA CHOG GI CHAB SRID GYI LUGS SU MANG PO SA DU RDZUGS PA PO He instituted many of the great traditions of Tibet. STONG SBYOR NA NGA DANG KHYEN PA SHIN TU CHE BA He was powerful, he was rich, he had influence, and he was knowledgeable.

SHIN TU CHE BA YANG THAR So something happened, it's kind of funny. The Dalai Lama died and this minister kept it secret. I think it was over 12 years.

He hired an actor to play the Dalai Lama and he said for security reasons nobody can get close to the Dalai Lama. So people could come and meet him from the door or something and he would talk to them and no one guessed that the Dalai Lama had died. Then after 12 years somebody figured it out.

And they relieved him of his head. Okay. So some Mongol prince figured it out and he had Desi Senggye Gyatso captured and he cut his head off.

LHA SANG GANG His name was LHA SANG GANG. He was like Genghis Khan. DANG KHE NAS BSGUL SHOR TE U YANG LTU LUNG PHYIS TZAM KHAR Then his head was thrown on a bridge in central Tibet and no one had the courage to come and get it.

No one wanted to admit that they knew him. This is the person who ruled the country for 20 years. The most powerful person.

And everyone was afraid to acknowledge that the head was there. They would just walk by it. Nobody wanted to say this is his head because they were afraid something would happen to them.

NYIN MANG PO'I LUS GZUGS KYANG BDAG GYUR MA BYOD PA DANG SRED DANG GSUM MO SOGS SA THAG DRANG KHYAM His wife and his children ended up beggars and they had to leave and wander around the country looking for help. As beggars for the rest of their life. His wealthy family.

RDRO DGOS CHUNG BA DANG RGYAL PO LHA SANG YANG He's ending the story. He says, by the way, the Mongol prince himself was murdered by another prince. The guy who cut the head off later had his head cut off.

There's no position you can get which is stable. Not going to happen. Okay, that's number five.

So, number five is going up and down in your life. Example? What's the idim?

Superman. Okay, Superman. If we ...

Okay, we may not choose all of these to be in your final exam if you want to be a Lamrim teacher, right? But these are the candidates, so you should learn them, okay? And we'll pick the best ones out, you see?

We're going to have how many? 500 in the end. 60 each retreat.

60 each retreat. It's not so hard, come on. You can almost guess from the picture, right?

What Jasmine and me were talking about was maybe it'd be nice if you could talk about each picture for three minutes. So, if you talk slow. Okay.

GRUB PA GROG MED PA'I NYES PA NI This is the last one. I think it's the saddest one. Okay, number six.

GROG MED PA means in the end you're on your own. In the end there's nobody else. You have no friends.

Nobody can go with you. You were born alone, you will die alone. In the end you're alone, okay?

It doesn't matter how much people love you, how much you love them, you're here alone. You can hook up with other people for a few years or, you know, you can be in a group or whatever, but in the end you're on your own, okay? It doesn't matter what alliances you make, what friendships you make.

In the end you're on your own, okay? And it's always like that, okay? DANG PO'ER AA MA'I NYAL GO NAS SKYE BA'I SKABS KYANG RANG CI POR SKYE At the door of your mother's womb you are alone.

You know, coming out from the door of your mother's womb you are alone. BAR DU NA TZAD LTA BU'I SDUG BSNGAL CHUNG NA'ANG RANG CI BU'I MYONG And between your birth and your death, when you think you have friends, right? Or a husband or whatever, colleagues, you will find out how alone you are if you get sick, okay?

They can't share it with you. They can, you know, give you water or bring you medicine. But in the bed, you know, in the bed, sick, you're really alone.

I mean, people can come and bring you flowers and books to read. But in the end, even between birth and death, you're alone, okay? And you can see it when you're sick.

THAR ZHI BA'I TSE YANG RANG CI BU'I CI BU'I MAR GYI RGYUN NAS BOD DANG PA LTAR ZHIN DRO BA'I And at the end, when you die, you always go alone. Nobody can go with you. One minute after you die you are alone forever from the people you knew, okay?

For a very long time, okay? So, you actually, you've always been alone, okay? Then there's an expression in Tibetan called MAR GYI RGYUN NAS BOD DANG means plucking a single hair out of a a bar of butter.

So, there's a bar of butter, right? And somebody's hair, if you have hair, you know, fell in the butter. And then somebody goes, oh look, there's a hair in the butter.

And they go, they take it out and they throw it. So, you alone from all the people you know will be thrown out. The butter is all your friends, okay?

You are the hair. You're like, eh. Okay?

Then, everybody's still there except you. They take you out of the butter, okay? That's a Tibetan expression.

Butter is important in Tibet. GROG CHOG BYAG CHEN MED DE There's no one who can go with you, okay? SKYE BAR GCIG PAR SKYES Then he quotes Master Shantideva's Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life.

Great, great, great, great, great book, okay? SKYE BAR GCIG PAR SKYES RGYUR CING PHYI NA'ANG DE NYID GCIG GCIG STE SDUG BSNGAL GAL ZHING MI NAS NA DGE'I PHYED RTZA BA'I PHYI ZHIG BYA SKYE BAR GCIG PAR SKYES RGYUR CING When you're born, you're born alone. PHYI NA'ANG DE NYID GCIG GCIG STE When you die, you die alone.

SDUG BSNGAL GAL ZHING MI NAS NA Even when you're alive and you're sick or you're having some problem, in the end it's just you. DGE'I PHYED RTZA BA'I PHYI ZHIG BYA Don't let friendships what do you call it? Disturb your Dharma practice, okay?

If you have to go into retreat, then go, okay? You're alone anyway. You might as well go in a cabin and be alone and get something done, get some progress, okay?

It doesn't mean you're not supposed to have friends, you should have friends. There was an idiom of a lady with her back to her daughter. Yeah, when you meditate, meditate with other people.

You should have retreat friends, you should have meditation friends, but never refuse to go on retreat or never don't do a meditation session because your friends are like, well, what's the use of that? You see what I mean? Because in the end you're alone anyway, okay?

So, you better do the best thing, okay? Yoga is like that. Don't wait for a class.

If nobody wants to go to yoga, do it in your room. You got to get to this place, okay? If you have to do it, you do it yourself, okay?

What's the picture here? I forget. Number nine.

Oh, what is it? A baby and a ... Oh, okay.

It's basically a single baby, okay? She or he is a mom, okay? All right.

Je Tsongkapa Chenpo, then he quotes Je Tsongkapa. You guys okay? I got 15 more minutes.

Hang in there. YID BSTAN MI RUNG ZHIG PA'I PHUN TSOGS KYI NYES MI RIGS NAS THAR PA'I BDE BA LA This is very famous words. You can't trust the good things in this life, okay?

They won't last, okay? Be grateful, do coffee meditation, understand they may not last, okay? NYES MI RIGS NAS Understand this problem of life, okay?

ZHES GSUNGS PA'I KHOR BA'I BDE RGYI Misspelled. Okay, Adam? It should be SKYID.

I'm going to correct them. What is BDE RGYI? You guys know?

It's an old word for happiness, and it's a common woman's name in Tibetan. BDE RGYI. BDE RGYI DANG PHUN TSOGS BYIN DRA ZHIG CHUNG YANG YID BSTAN MED PA'I BRTEN YIN PAS KHOR BA'I RTZA SHES DI LA PHUGS BRTEN PA'I PHYI KHYANG MED In the end, there's nobody you know.

It's a wife, husband, kids, parents, friends, who can stay with you. You don't know. There's no certainty.

The people you think are with you now will be separated from you. DE LTAR KHOR BA'I SDUG BSNGAL Unless you plant the seeds, okay? We always have to say that, right?

If you understand emptiness, you can keep your friends, okay? That's the whole idea. I want to keep my friends.

I want to keep my partner. I want to be with them forever. You can, if you know how to plant seeds.

DE LTAR KHOR BA'I SDUG BSNGAL MYONG LUGS DANG DE YANG THA MED TSUL LA BSAM NA YID THANGS CHAD DGOS PA ZHIG YOD PAS If you think about these six kind of problems that we've talked about in the Lam Rim this week, okay? He said, you should THANGS CHAD. THANGS CHAD means, I'm tired of this.

It's going on too long. I'm tired of losing my friends. I'm tired of my friends turning out to be my enemies.

I'm tired of all this. THANGS CHAD DGOS PA You should be tired, he said. DGOS PA ZHIG YOD PAS PHYIR GYIS KHOR BA LA LTA YIN MED JI LTAR YIN YANG RANG GI'I KHOR BA'I SDUG RDZOGS THAB ZHIG CHAD DGOS Then he says an interesting philosophical thing, okay?

PHYIR GYIS KHOR BA LA LTA YIN MED JI LTAR YIN YANG We can debate whether there's an end to samsara in general. To the whole samsara. You know, that's something you can argue, okay?

PHYIR GYIS KHOR BA LA LTA YIN MED JI LTAR YIN YANG RANG GI'I KHOR BA'I SDUG RDZOGS THAB ZHIG CHAD DGOS You can, and you should, end your personal samsara, okay? You can end your own cycle of pain, okay? You should do it.

You have the equipment, you have the lion's dance and all that emptiness and seed stuff, okay? Alright then. We got ten minutes, let's use it.

You never know what might happen. I like to use ... I honestly think I get more done in the ten minutes than most people ever get done.

So, if I have ten minutes in the car or ten minutes waiting somewhere while Scott's checking in the overweight luggage, I sit down on the floor at the airport and I work, you know what? You know, use the time, okay? Use what time you have.

If you feel like you're too tired to do something, do it, you won't feel better next year. Okay? You'll feel worse, okay?

Got it? Will you feel better next year? No.

Well, okay, use the time, do something, okay? Do something to use the time, okay? You won't be stronger next year, okay?

Unless you plant a lot of good seeds. Okay, GNYIS PA SOS SOGS SDUG BSNGAL SANGS PA LA GNYIS So, now we're going to explore the suffering of specific forms of life, okay? Humans, animals, okay?

Pretas. Thors. Thors?

People like Thor. Okay? SOS SOGS SDUG BSNGAL SANGS PA LA GNYIS NGAN GROL SDUG BSNGAL SANGS PA DANG BRTAN GROL SDUG BSNGAL SANGS PA BA Then we divide all life forms into two.

We call higher birth and lower birth. Higher birth. Humans, demigods and temporary gods.

Lower birth. Hell realm. Animals, hungry ghosts, okay?

Spirits. DANG PO NI, BYANG NAS CAN BYANG LA GZHAN PA LOG PA BZHIN SNGA RGYAS PA'I CHUNG MA'I SKABS TZAM ZIN NAS Then this is kind of funny. BYANG NAS CAN means a person who has a drinking problem.

Literally a person with drinking sickness, okay? BYAS CAN BYANG LA GZHAN PA LOG BZHIN The next morning after they get really drunk, how do they feel about alcohol? The first time I got drunk I was at my friend's house and we broke into his mother's alcohol, what do you call it?

Cabinet? And we drank a little bit of everything. Then if you're smart you fill it up with water, right?

We drank a little bit of everything. We got so sick. Really sick.

I was an altar boy in the church, so I have to help serve the wine in the church and boy, that stuff smelled bad to me. So, the morning after how alcohol smells to you, RGYAS PA'I CHUNG MA'I SKABS NAS TZAM ZIN NAS We already talked about that, okay? You should be tired of the lower realms, okay?

I don't want to be an animal. I don't want to go to the hells, okay? They should look to you like wine the next morning, okay?

Got it? GNYIS PA'I BRTEN DRON DANG So we finished that already. BRTEN DRON SDUG BSNGAL SANGS PA LA GSUM So now we're going to talk about the suffering, the specific sufferings of the three higher life forms, okay?

Human, half-pleasure being and pleasure being, something like that, okay? GNYIS SDUG BSNGAL SANGS PA LHA MA YIN GYIS SDUG BSNGAL SANGS PA LHA'I SDUG BSNGAL SANGS PO I got five minutes. Okay.

Seven types of suffering specific to humans, okay? Seven types of suffering specific to humans. The six I gave before are for all samsara, everybody in samsara, okay?

Here we go, number one. SDUG BSNGAL LA BDUN LAS So there'll be seven categories here. SKYE BA'I BDUN YAL SANGS PA NI Let's talk about the suffering of being born as a human, okay?

What's the picture? What's the next picture? That's a cesarean.

I mean, something really funny happened when I was looking for that picture. I was at my mom's house with my brothers, right? And we were trying to find a good Mexican restaurant and I got the menu up on my computer and I was going to order it for everybody and my brother touched the key and it went to that picture.

And he looked at me like, what are you doing there? I said, oh, it's just religious thing. He's like, okay, anyway.

Okay, you can skip it. SKYE BA'I BDUN YAL NGA'I SHES PA'I That's kind of weird. NGA'I SHES PA'I NGAN SONG GI BDUN YAL DE LTAR YIN NA Okay, so, you finished talking about the lower birth, Pabongka.

ONG NA LHA DANG MYUR KYE NA BDUN YAL CHUNG CHUNG NGAM NYAMS NA Is it a little less pain if I can be born as a human or a worldly god? Okay? Is it a little better?

Would it be better? Okay, somebody asked a question. KHOR BA DE'IR SKYE PHYIN MUN THOR LUS RTEN THOB KYANG SDUG BSNGAL LAM PAR ZHIG LAS MAN BAS TE Every form of life in samsara is a hundred percent miserable.

Okay? Every form of life in samsara is a hundred percent miserable. RANG BYAG MYUR KYE KYANG CHOS CHEN NA BDUN BYAS PA MA RTOGS GZHAN SDUG BSNGAL GZHAN DU BYED TE Once you're born as a human, the only meaningful thing you can do is study the Dharma.

Everything else is pain. Every other human activity is pain. SNGAGS SKYE BA'I SDUG BSNGAL JI LTAR MYONG TSUL SNGAL GRIB SOGS KYIS KHYEN GYIS TZAM MA BYAS SEMS PAS THA LTA MI DRAN MO'I So he says, in a way we are lucky because we have SNGAL GRIB What's a GRIB MA?

GRIB MA What's a GRIB? Yeah, obstacle. It means a veil.

Okay? A covering. GRIB MA, okay?

What's SNGAL? SNGAL means the womb. So there's a special karma called SNGAL GRIB, okay?

And most people cannot remember what happened before the womb. Very few people can remember what happened in the womb, okay? But we have a thing called SNGAL GRIB.

It's a special kind of karma. We could talk about where it comes from, I don't know. Maybe we could meditate on it someday.

But you can't remember what happened before the womb. Actually, the change in your body and mind is so drastic. It's like a dog can't think with a human's brain and a human can't think with a dog's brain for a while.

It takes time to get used to it, okay? So right after you're born you can't remember what happened before. Because you're a totally different being, okay?

If Tuesday you were a dog and Wednesday you were a human, you wouldn't be able to remember what happened on Tuesday, okay? BRTEN MO'I CI NAS MI SKYE BA ZHIG LEN THUB PAR BYUNG NA DE TSE SKYE BA'I SDUG BSNGAL CHA TZAM YONG DGOS CI NAS Even if you're able to get a human birth, which is rare, extremely rare, okay? Buddha licked his finger, touched the ground, and said that many people become human out of the whole earth of dirt, okay?

And everyone, you know, people who don't study Buddhism, they're like, oh, when I come back I'm going to teach that guy something, you know? Probably that thought's enough not to come back as a human. Okay?

Alright. It's very rare to come back as a human. Don't think you're going to have a better life next time, you're not.

CI NAS MI SKYE BA ZHIG LEN THUB PAR BYUNG NA DE TSE SKYE BA'I SDUG BSNGAL CHA TZAM YONG DGOS So, you're going to have to suffer again. I got one minute, I'm using it. DE YANG MA YIN NGAL DU ZHUGS PA NAS PHYIR MA TSE PAS PAR LA Let's just talk about the time between conception and coming out of your mom, okay?

The time between conception, the nine months in the womb. Let's talk about that. MA TSE PAS PAR LA NGAL GYIS NAS KHAB SNGAGS DANG Then in Buddhism, in the Abhidharma which Stanley can teach you, there are five periods in the womb.

NUR NUR PO, MER MER PO They're called jelly, stretched jelly, hard jelly, I forget the other two, you get the idea. PHYIR MA TSE PAS PAR LA NGAL GYIS NAS KHAB SNGAGS DANG LUS KYI CHA SHES RIGS SKYE BA'I KHABS SU SDUG BSNGAL RIGS RTE There's a special pain associated with each stage in the womb. Okay?

And as each part of your body starts to grow, there's a different kind of pain. DANG PO'I KHU CHAGS KYI DUS SU RNAM SHES ZHUGS PA'I KHABS We'll take the first one and then you can go to bed on it, okay? KHU means semen, CHAGS means menses of the mother, blood of the mother.

DANG PO'I KHU CHAGS KYI DUS SU When the father's single semen meets a single egg of the mother, RNAM SHES ZHUGS, consciousness enters at that moment, okay? When the two touch, consciousness enters. LUS KYI TSUD DE ZHOG LTA BU ZHIG LAS MED PAS DE'I RNAM DU RANG GI RNAM SHES ZHUGS PA NA And, in that period of your gestation, inside your mother's womb, we call you clump of yogurt.

It's called clump of yogurt. NYAL BA'I ZLANG PO CHE'I SNANG DU ZOD LTA BU SDUG BSNGAL DANG It feels like someone has dropped you in a pot of boiling water, okay? It feels like that, to a child, in the first few days, it feels like that, okay?

You don't remember. DE NAS YIN LAG GI BUR GO NGA BRDOD PA DANG RGYANG ZHING YIN RGYANG PA LTA BU SDUG BSNGAL DANG Let's stop there. So, there's a special instrument that they used to use in the West also, a rack, and they would tie your arms and legs, and then they, like horse, they would have horses, and they would actually tear your body apart, right?

Or, machine that tears your bones from your body, and that's what it feels like when your limbs are developing inside your mother, okay? It feels like someone's tearing a chicken leg off of a chicken, okay? It feels like that, okay?

You don't remember. Sometimes I think we really do block things out that we don't want to remember, okay? It's too painful, and I think sometimes we just cancel things, you know, so.

We'll finish the vacation in the womb tomorrow, okay? Alright. I'm going to bother somebody.

Jacqueline? You up for that? Okay.

Go on.