«Дар освобождения», курс 25 «Совершенное прибежище», занятие 7

[Speaker 1]
Okay, I'm gonna do number seven, because I guess I'll do some more tonight, okay? But number seven, as we will see in the Lamrim scripture, I was in Thailand, you know, in December right? And we were studying refuge, so I gave refuge vows, for the first time in many years, I think maybe 20 years or something, to a large group.

And everybody was excited, it took me many, many nights to do the names, you know, I didn't get much sleep, and Stanley, Adam, they were all going, you know, we didn't get sleep, and everybody was so happy, and they got their refuge vows, and they got an explanation of them, and by the way, we're gonna do that again in the scripture, but everybody felt like, oh, now I'm—I got my Buddhist name, you know, I took refuge.

You didn't, you did not, okay? That's not refuge, okay? Refuge is when you're sitting on the couch with your wife or your husband, and they start yelling at you, and you remember the pen, okay?

And Pabongka Rinpoche says, in the Lam Rim, okay? You didn't get refuge when Geshe Michael did the big ceremony, and gave you a secret name, and you know, we all threw flowers or something, that wasn't the real ceremony. The real refuge vows ceremony happens on the couch, at home, when your husband says something bad to you, or your wife says something bad to you, okay?

You're so lucky if your wife says something bad to you, because then you can do the real refuge ceremony. It's right there, that—that's the moment to celebrate, you know, oh, I took refuge, what happened?

[Speaker 2]
My wife yelled at me, I didn't say anything, because I know she's coming for me, you know? Oh, you just took refuge, you just got your vows, who gave them to you? You did, okay?

[Speaker 1]
Got it? So, that's the meaning of this meditation number seven. Pabongka Rinpoche says, the real ritual, the real refuge ceremony, you got your holy Dharma name on the couch, it was stupid, okay?

[Speaker 2]
And then you didn't answer, okay? Because you understood you didn't want to see it again next week, okay?

[Speaker 1]
And you understood the person who called you stupid wasn't there, got it? Okay, and that's—that was your refuge ceremony, that's the point that Pabongka Rinpoche is making in this meditation. So, when you're doing meditation number seven, I would like you to think about bad moments in your life.

Five and six are supposed to make you happy, seven's supposed to make you miserable, okay? Oh, what's the most difficult moment I had in the last few years? Oh, my—it was that night when my wife, you know, told me how stupid I really was, you know?

And then, you know, I felt bad, and I felt a little angry, and I felt hurt, but then I remembered that even that person was coming from me, okay? Like, I don't know how I planted it, it's probably a million lifetimes ago, because I'm not that mean now, but uh... but I was smart, I took refuge, you know?

She's called me stupid, and I didn't try to explain myself, I didn't try to prove she was wrong, I just shut up. I said, you know, I got a pee-pee, I'll be back. And I went in the bathroom, and I sat on the special place, and I spent ten minutes thinking about how I planted that, and then by that time I was calm, and I came out, and I, you know, we continued dinner together, and I took refuge, and I had a refuge ceremony in the toilet.

Got it? Okay, so this meditation, number seven, you're gonna think about a difficult time in your life, when you did the right thing. You stopped yourself from getting upset, and you said, this is coming from me.

It's really hard with ex-wives, ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, I mean, ex-bosses, okay? It's really hard. If you can do it with them, you can do it with anybody, okay?

So, in this meditation, pick some of the most tense and unhappy moments in your life, with another person, and forgive them, because they're coming from you, okay? Let it go, because they're coming from you, and then you took refuge, okay? Got it?

Forgiveness, okay?

[Speaker 2]
Alright.