«Дар освобождения», курс 2 «Прорыв к высшей реальности», занятие 18

[Говорящий 1] (0:02 - 0:15)
Okay, we're going to do a meditation. If you feel warm, you might try putting your hands on your knees. And if you feel cold, try doing this thing.

[Говорящий 2] (0:17 - 7:36)
And it helps in meditation. Watch your breath. Come to the golden room.

Look at the sky. Look at the mountains and the valley. And come back to the golden room.

And ask your teacher to come. And meditate single-pointedly on their presence. A single object.

[Говорящий 1] (7:38 - 7:50)
A single thing to think about. That they're sitting in front of you. Feel their presence.

Try to tie the mind to that presence.

[Говорящий 2] (7:50 - 9:14)
And don't be aware of anything else. I'd like you to observe when you are having less than a perfect meditation.

[Говорящий 1] (9:15 - 9:36)
I'd like you to observe right now whether you are tending more towards stillness or whether you are tending more to think about something else, desirable. Which of the two classical problems are you having or are you close to having today, this afternoon?

[Говорящий 2] (10:56 - 11:07)
And after you've identified which problem you're tending towards, see if you can balance that consciously within your life.

[Говорящий 1] (11:08 - 11:41)
If your mind is dull, not very bright, then see if you can uplift it by thinking of something bright, luminous, something you enjoy. Or a little mini-meditation on how lucky you are. If your mind is too agitated, if it's going to many different objects outside, then see if you can bring it back down by thinking about loved ones who have passed away.

[Говорящий 2] (13:32 - 14:18)
Try to apply the antidote. Then come back to this room. And slowly open your eyes.

[Говорящий 1] (14:21 - 14:59)
Just out of curiosity, how many people have dullness? And how many people are thinking about something else? It's like 50-50.

Okay, I had both. I have to be, you know, equal in all this, too. Did the antidote help?

I mean, for me, I just found, I applied the antidote, and then the thing just bounced back, like one of those balls attached to a panel.

[Говорящий 2] (14:59 - 15:00)
I don't know.

[Говорящий 1] (15:02 - 36:26)
Did you feel like that? Did the problem reoccur? No?

Okay. All right, we finished the four crucial ideas regarding Nick. Nick, I told you, oh, you're still there.

Okay. I mean, you're still not there. Then he's going to sort of wrap, he's going to kind of wrap up, okay, on that.

He still has to get to the gaccha with regard to things. We've just been on Maya. Okay, here we go.

DE DAG GACCHA NGES PA'I NANGSOD DE'I SHES LA SHARPA MA SHOR WA'I NANG NE JIG DANG THUGYAL GYI RIG PAS CHE DE'I DE NYID GANG DU'ANG MA DUG PAR NGES PAR NA So, try to hold in your mind what it is, the gaccha, a pen that was a pen from its own side. And isn't a pen because of how you've treated others, all right? Try to hold on to a pen like that.

You know, we talked about three ways of seeing me, right? One was the Madhyamakan way, the emptiness-er way. You looked at me and you said, oh, that's just coming from my mind.

You know, there's nothing out there. It's coming from my mind according to how I've treated others. And then, what was the second one?

I was shaving in the mirror. John was shaving in the mirror, somebody. And you just kind of have a peripheral awareness of you.

It's not like you're examining where you come from. You're just shaving. Probably if you thought about all that stuff, you'd cut yourself.

And then the third example was where somebody asked you, specifically, they got you in a corner and they said, are you coming from your own side? Are you coming from your mind? And you said, I mean, I'm here.

It's not coming from my mind. I'm real, you know? So that's a sort of a hardcore wrong view.

You decided to have a wrong view, okay? It can apply to a pen as well, right? So try to get the feeling of, the first one is the pen that's coming from me.

And for some reason, I got color now. Somebody in the class had bought one of these, my rare Japanese-French pen. And they had a colored one.

I always had black ones, right? So I have not only pen karma, but some kind of more interesting karma, right? It means the karma for the last five pages hasn't ripened yet.

So, or the second way I could look at it, it's just a pen, okay? And the third way I could look at it is, oh, it's definitely coming from its own side. I can look at it all three ways.

Anyway, he says here, hold that idea of how it appears to you when you think it's coming from itself, right? When you believe that it's coming this way, the third one, right? ngepay natsah dekshin la shapa ma surway nang ne, don't lose it.

Try to hold on to it. chittu dhag kyi rikpe ched de So in the case of Nick, try to focus on the Nick who didn't deserve to be blamed, okay? Try to focus on that Nick.

And then see how does he relate to his parts, you know? Is he his eye? Is he his arm?

Or is he somehow the whole thing, okay? Try to examine those two possibilities, right? Got it?

You had a big lunch. Okay, cancel whatever they ate this time. Don't let them eat it again.

So you have a Nick who's not there, okay? Is he his arm and his leg? Is he his arm?

Good, good. That's good. That's good.

Is he his whole? Is he everything together? Okay, good.

So, rikpe ched de. Examine it. de ni kandwa ma dupa nge Come to the conclusion that he is neither.

Okay? Come to the conclusion that he's in neither place. pe na drosa lungpa nyi le mepe shiktu For example, if you're a Tibetan nomad and you have a fenced-in pasture and it only has two sides of a hill, right?

So you can't see the other half when you're on one half because there's a ridge between. But everything's fenced in, right? So, if you...

And if you lost your cow in the pasture, all right? numbar del meddo shepe ciktsam na cam ma shakpa If someone said to you, your cow got out of the pasture, all right? Your cow is out of the pasture, out of the fence, you know?

And in Tibet, a cow is a valuable thing. The word for rich is chukpo, which can also mean having cows, all right? So, it's an expensive thing.

So, somebody says your cow got out of the fence. Then you would want to go and look in the two pastures to see if he was there or not, to check if he really did get out of the fence, okay? numbar nyi kyi phun da par sun You would go to the lowlands.

You would go to the highlands. You would go to the ridge. tsel ne ma nyepa na And then you wouldn't find the cow because the cow got out of the fence.

It's not either in the upper pasture or the lower pasture, okay? tsel gyu But when you're looking for the cow, isn't it the case that you carry with you an image in your mind of what the cow looks like, okay? You get an image in your mind of what the cow looks like, and then you go looking in the lower pasture and the upper pasture.

ma nyepa na de min duk nyam pa phang gyi kye wa phang means woo, okay? phang means you have a picture in your mind of the cow. You go to the lower pasture.

Then you look in the upper pasture and it's not there. And then suddenly there's this whoop in your mind like, no cow, you know? It's like a feeling, right?

It's a feeling of... It's like when you reach in your hand, in your pocket for the credit card at the restaurant and you go, whoop, you know? And you're like, you know, you're smiling to the waiter and you're like, whoop, you know?

So that's the same feeling. There's only two pastures the cow can be in, upper and lower. You have a picture in your mind of where he would be, of what he looks like.

And then you check in the two places, not there. And then you get this feeling of loss or this feeling of something not being there. SDUG BSLANG GIS SKYE BA SNGAR RDZIN LHAN SKYES KYI GZHAN YUL SNGAR SHES THA DAG PHAN CHOD MI GYI THONG RGYUD DANG LHAG PA'I SRIM GYUR YOD PA LTA BU SHENG PO DE DAG MIN DU NYAM DU SDONG BYAMS KYI SONG ME So it's the same thing with the nick.

We didn't deserve to get blamed for stealing the books. SNGAR RDZIN LHAN SKYES KYI GZHAN YUL SNGAR SHES THA DAG PHAN CHOD MI GYI THONG RGYUD DANG That nick is not something you can see with your eyes. LHAG PA'I SRIM GYUR YOD PA LTA BU Sorry.

Normally you'd think it would be someone you could see with your eyes or hold with your hands. You could grasp onto that nick, or you could see that nick. We feel that way, especially when you're the nick who's being blamed.

The nick who feels offended. The nick who didn't deserve to get blamed. That nick, you feel like he should be there, like the cow.

It should be something you could see or deal with. SHENG SHENG PO means, SHENG SHENG PO means it just comes to you. Like if I hold this up and say, which way is it coming from?

Quickly. But you didn't come on. In the first second you thought it was coming this way.

That's SHENG SHENG PO. It's just like, it's just like an automatic impression. Automatic impression that we usually have.

SHENG SHENG PO DE DANG DAR MIN DUD NYAM DUD DUNG CANG KYI SONG Then if you know which nick you're looking for, which nick are we looking for? The one who didn't deserve to get blamed. We look for him in his arm.

He has a sticker on, the real nick now. Okay. The nick who doesn't deserve to get blamed, we can look for him in his fingers, his fingernails, his, what do you call it?

Eyebrow hairs. And we won't find him. We could also look for him in some of his parts and we won't find him.

This is where a lot of people who teach this part of this system get lost. They mislead the students. They're saying, is Nick his arm?

And the student says no. And then they say, is Nick all of him together? And then the student says yes.

And then the teacher tries to convince them why they're wrong. But they're right. He is all of some of his parts.

They make an error at this point because they're looking for a nick which really exists. There is a nick which exists. He's sitting there and he has all his parts together.

That's the conventional nick. But there's another nick. The one who didn't deserve to get blamed.

That nick is not there. And that nick is neither one nor many. Neither one, the owner of his parts, or many, the multiplicity of his parts.

So don't mislead your students. A lot, a lot, a lot of people teach this thing wrong. They say, can you find Nick in his...

Is Nick his arm? And the student says no. And then they say, is Nick everything together?

And they say... The student says yes. And the student is right.

And then the teacher says no. Because the teacher thinks they're looking for the conventional nick. But you're not looking for a conventional nick.

You're looking for a nick that doesn't exist. Okay, got it? It's okay?

All right. Okay. If it suddenly occurs to you that the nick who didn't deserve to get blamed is simply not there.

If you suddenly have this, what do you call it, epiphany, that the nick who didn't deserve to get blamed isn't there, ume tawa nyepa yin, you have come to the middle way. You are a middle way philosopher. You have come to the realization of the middle way.

That is the middle way. Ume nye means you have found the view of the middle way. And it's not so difficult, right?

It's not such a big deal. It's easier to use a person, and it's easier to say just anybody who didn't deserve anything that happened to them. That's easy.

Because that person doesn't exist. Nowhere. And it never did.

And that's a good example because that's the person you want to defend when someone accuses you. The person, the brandy who didn't deserve to be blamed, right? If suddenly she doesn't exist, then all your hard work of protecting yourself, interests, and watching out for number one, they can all be let go.

Because that person doesn't exist. There's no need to defend the person who's not there. Do you need to defend the person who was blamed properly?

No, I mean, there's a me who was blamed because of my past seeds, because I blamed people in the past. Do you need to defend that person? It's useless.

There's no point to it. They are going to be blamed as much as they blamed others. And it will wear out.

And then they won't be blamed anymore. So there's no need to defend them. You can't defend them.

You cannot stop the ripening of their karma. They will be blamed. Who?

Me. So then there's no point to defending them. Who are you going to defend them from?

You. Alright? Alright.

The only person left to defend them from is yourself. And nobody likes to do that. So you can just drop the defending.

Alright. DE'I TSE DBANG LUS This is really beautiful, okay? This is really beautiful.

DE'I TSE DBANG LUS GOM PA CHE BA LA CHE NO NYES PA LTA BU NYAM DANG Someone who is spiritually... I call it high spiritual IQ. They call it Wang Lun.

It means sharp faculties. But what it means is you have a high spiritual IQ because you've been a nice person for a couple of lifetimes or more. And you have a high sensitivity to spiritual things.

You are attracted to those ideas. They are interesting to you. You follow them.

You read about them. You always have since you were in high school. That's a Wang Lun.

That's a high spiritual IQ. Those kinds of people, when they get into a class like this, and they get a good explanation about the Nick who's not there, the Nick who didn't deserve to be blamed, and then suddenly they have some kind of a... I don't know.

Something happens to them. We see it on the DCI tours all the time. We go to a place.

Maybe a thousand Chinese people show up. They are hardcore business people. They are not interested in spiritual things.

Then you explain the pen thing. And you explain the seed thing. And like 45 minutes into the talk, this light lights up in their eyes.

And they are like, Wow! That explains everything in my life. That explains everything I ever thought in my life.

And they just get this light in their eyes. And then you got them. Then the hard thing is to keep them doing whatever business they were doing.

Because they want to quit and become a DCI teacher. Really, it's a big problem. We've ruined a lot of businesses with our business seminars.

But this light lights up in their eyes. Every intelligent person can get it. You explain it slowly.

This thing. And then you get into the emptiness. And then suddenly this light.

And they feel like I just got a precious thing. It's like somebody gave you a Mercedes. Or someone in...

Where was it? Elon. Somebody in Elon.

Some movie star lady came up and took her ring off. Like this huge diamond ring. I'm like, No, no, no.

I don't take it. And then she said, No, no. You take it.

And then we had this big fight at her house. At her yoga studio. But then, you know, I felt like she would be offended.

I felt like she would get angry. And then it would be a bad karma. So I said, OK, I'll take it.

And we paid somebody's airfare with it. But as if you had just been given something very precious. Someone who really understands life.

If someone gives them a clear explanation of what the hell's been going on all this time, and what you can do about it, then they're like, Wow. Thanks. You know?

Wow. You really gave me something. OK?

OK. Wang tu. What's wang tu?

The ones without spiritual IQ. OK? The eaters and TV watchers.

Wang tu la chen no shik. Lobor tu torwa tabu. Somebody who doesn't have spiritual IQ, high spiritual IQ, will feel as the opposite, as if they had lost something precious.

And they will be afraid. Like, OK? Like they'll suddenly say, Oh, where am I?

Where's Mike? You know? You say, there's no Mike.

Check your parts. Check your whole. There's no Nick.

A person with a high aptitude will feel the sense of relief. Now the world makes sense. And a person without a high aptitude will say, Oh my God, there's no me.

Where am I? And they will feel like they lost the diamond ring. OK?

They have the opposite effect on them. Jigdak yang kyen min. And then kyen min is interesting.

What's kyen min do? It's a joke, OK? It's an India joke, sorry.

In India, if the driver, if the car sort of putters out, and the driver comes around to your side and says, No problem, sir. Then you know you're going to have to spend the night on the road somewhere. You know?

No problem means, car stuff. So kyen min do means no problem. No problem, sir.

Kyen min means, it's interesting. Pabongka Rinpoche says, If a person, rather than feeling they had just won the lottery, feels like their mother just died, OK? Then he says, kyen min.

He said, that's not a problem. Because they got it. To some extent they got it.

Or else they wouldn't have felt some kind of fear. If they didn't feel like Nick was gone, they wouldn't be concerned. So he's like, don't sweat.

They freak out a little bit, no problem. It's because they got it partly. So at least they got it partly.

At least they feel something's gone. That's good. All right?

Kyen min. ngar je danyi chenpo sera, cho ding su tap chi nekap nangkap, je sherab senge, uh. Je Tsongkhapa, towards the end of his life, uh.

His disciples started to really get into uh, monastery founding mode. Like, they founded Ganden, Sera, Debo, with a combined monastic enrollment of like 20,000 monks. You know, like it was, I mean, after.

So I mean, these were big things. This is like Harvard D.L. Princeton or something. His students, in a few years time, towards the end of his life, they just really went wild and started founding major institutions, okay?

And he actually taught at Sera when it was just a cow pasture. All right? You know, later it became 10,000 monks, but he taught there when they were just opening it.

Like it was just a square mile in Glendale, Arizona. Empty lot, okay? Or, okay, not a square mile.

Don't freak out, Jamie. All right. No.

Half a square mile, thank you.

[Говорящий 2] (36:26 - 36:27)
Okay.

[Говорящий 1] (36:29 - 39:23)
So he did teach at Sera, and it was probably a chair in the middle of a field. Dingsu. And then he taught emptiness, sitting there, in a field, in the opening days of Sera.

Okay? And Team Nangka. Then there was a student named Sherab Senge, okay?

This is a very special student, Sherab Senge. So just a couple words. Like a few days later, he was sitting there.

It was at Sera, I think, in the field at Sera. And then Tsongkhapa said, you know, we really need it. All these monasteries are very good, but we need a yoga monastery.

You know, we need a special monastery for the secret teachings, the yoga. Inner and outer yoga. We need that.

And then everybody was like, yeah. All these high disciples were like, yeah, that's true. And then Sherab Senge, he was back in the back.

He was not a famous disciple. He wasn't like Gyaltsab Jeya or Kyrgyz Jeya or something. And then he saw, he was embarrassed that all the number one disciples didn't offer to build a yoga monastery.

So he, you know, he said, I'll do it. It's very beautiful. And then he founded Gyumri, Tantra College, which is where our teacher comes from.

Okay, Sherab Senge. Anyway, he was teaching, Je Tsongkhapa was teaching emptiness. Sherab Senge was sitting in the back.

And then suddenly Sherab Senge goes, you know, and he felt like he had lost himself. And he was hanging on to his top, you know. He was like trying to make sure he was still there.

You know, like Tsongkhapa's talking and Sherab Senge's going like, you know. Okay. Je Tsongkhapa realized what was going on with him.

And then Gye, Gye means, he was like, big smile, big Gye. He was really happy. And then he said, oh, the monk from Nartang has been able to establish the existence of deceptive reality.

I mean, he's like, Nartang is just like Kansas, okay. And he said, oh, the boy from Kansas had a bit of a realization just now.

[Говорящий 2] (39:24 - 39:24)
Okay.

[Говорящий 1] (39:26 - 1:07:39)
Because he was like, okay. All right. Je ngu chu we tatri nangkab, and Nguchu Dhammapadra, very famous lama in our tantric lineage, dlogme nama gache jigdak gebe rabyo.

And there's also this story that Nguchu, quicksilver, lama quicksilver, gave a particularly compelling presentation of emptiness, and then half the students freaked out. They just freaked out. Like they couldn't find themselves.

And then he said this, tong khyam gyi sangwa na di tong nyi do de tok so nyangpa sok lo la shan na ma yin gyak dang drupa kang rung nangpa sharwa yinpe de jisang ma dang If the you tends to melt into, if you lose the you, okay, if it goes into, it's called tong khyam. Tong khyam means sheer voidness. If you melt into sheer voidness, tong khyam sangwa na, and then you think to yourself, oh, that's emptiness.

Or you think to yourself, I've realized emptiness. He says, lo la shan na, check what comes to mind. Check what comes to mind.

You feel like everything went into the sheer void. Then he says, check what comes to mind. If what comes to mind is that one thing is not another thing, ma yin gyak.

If what comes to mind is that one thing is not another thing, or if what comes to mind is a positive thing, then you got it wrong. So there's three choices here. One is called ma yin gyak, one is called ma yin gyak, one is called drupa.

And I would have you repeat it, but you can't. So just do it in your mind. Ma yin gyak, ma yin gyak, and drupa.

Drupa is easy. Drupa is like, drupa means a positive thing. For example, some people come out, they come back after a big teaching on emptiness, and they say, I saw emptiness.

And you say, well, what was it like? And they say, it's kind of a blue haze. You know?

And it's just kind of an aura over everything. Blue aura over everything. And that's already wrong because blue is a positive thing.

It's not the absence of something. It's very important to understand that emptiness is an absence of something. So if somebody says, oh, I saw emptiness, and you say, what's it look like?

And they say, it's kind of foggy, but it has a silver color. Then you already know that they're wrong. Ma yin gyak's a little harder.

Ma yin gyak means, it's not the nick you thought it was. It's a different nick. Something like that.

The nick that really does exist is different from the nick who was wrongly blamed. Okay? The nick who really does exist is different from the nick who was wrongly blamed.

But that doesn't make it emptiness. Just to be something else. Emptiness is neither is, nor is emptiness is something else.

Emptiness can only ever be it's not there. It has to be the full thing. It's not there.

In Tibetan, there's two different verbs. There's one verb for is, and there's a different verb for is there. He is ritesh.

Ritesh is not here today. Two different things. He is not ritesh is a ma yin gyak.

It's a denial of something. But ritesh is not here is in absence of something. And that's different.

So, if the idea you have of emptiness is simply that something is not something else or something positive, you're on the wrong track. If you have a sense of something missing, something gone missing, Earl, Bernie, it must be some Vancouver thing. He'll always say, Geshe-la, the shovels have gone missing.

You know. And it means they're not there. Then that's a candidate for emptiness.

That's a ma gyak. That's an absence of something. So, he's saying here if you have some kind of thing come up in your mind that's either positive or simply not something else, ma drang, geshe ma drang means don't go for that.

Don't go for that one. That one's wrong. de tar gak che gak che nga me par ngepa na nge ngo rang shi me par ngepe nge shi dang tri nge wa dang nang ngo gak che ten du kyi gak tsang gi tong tsang This is very, very famous and very, very much a part of our tantric practice, Vajrayogini practice.

In the Vajrayogini practice there are four qualities of emptiness. What was that? nge ngo rang shi me par nga wa tong sang wa de nga wo Do you remember that?

atma ko aham ayam dan That's a different story. That's a whole different thing. But two of them come here.

Two of them come here. And it's important. In the act of misunderstanding nik, there's a partnership between two bad things.

You can take up two bad guys shaking hands, you know, let's kill the president, you know, and make a deal. One guy will do one thing and one guy will do the other thing. If you saw salt, okay, or Angela, okay, you, two guys have to be collaborating, okay, for us to really have ignorance.

Avidya depends on two separate components. There has to be a strategic cooperation between two different components to have a really good ignorance, okay. One, nik has to appear from it to you as if he were coming from his own side.

If you want an enhancement of that feeling, wait until somebody blames you, okay, and you'll have an enhanced feeling of it. I was, you know, I was half asleep this morning. I was thinking about you guys, and I was thinking that, when I was thinking about gākjā, some realization I had about gākjā at some point in my life, if you're feeling unhappy, if you're feeling depressed, if you're feeling anxious, if you're feeling angry about something, or sad about something, or wronged by somebody, that's a barometer that you are dealing in gākjā, okay.

If you, anytime you're unhappy, you are dealing with a gākjā. So, if you're not quite sure what the gākjā is, just wait until you're unhappy. And you must, there must be a gākjā in there somewhere if you're unhappy.

It's a khyāva. It must be, okay. Anyone who's unhappy at any given moment is dealing in gākjā.

There's somewhere there, there's a gākjā. Usually it's me, you know. Is there a me?

Yes. Is there a me who got wrongly blamed? No.

But when you feel unhappy, you can just assume there's a gākjā there. Then go looking for it. Try to find it.

Anytime you don't feel, what do you call it, joyful, there's probably a gākjā around somewhere messing you up. So anyway, here, two things needed for a good ignorance. For a really sweet avidyā, you need two different things going on.

One, there has to be a nick appearing to me. I'm Nick, okay. There has to be a nick appearing to me who was wrongly blamed.

There has to be some kind of unreal appearance coming at me. There has to be an unreal thing coming at me. Nick who was wrongly blamed.

Unreal. Something has to be coming at me which is wrong. And then you can guess the second half.

What's the second half? I have to believe in it. I have to buy into it.

Here's the cheer in Tibetan. For an occasion of wisdom, for wisdom, you need the opposite. You have to be looking at Nick and then like dividing water from milk, skillfully, you have to pick out the Nick who's not there and see that it never was there.

What appears to you was never there. You have to cancel what's appearing to you. Then from your wisdom side, then your wisdom has to say that that doesn't exist.

That's the emptiness of the Nick I thought was there before. An act of wisdom also requires two things going on. Emptiness appearing to the wisdom and wisdom interpreting it as emptiness.

Alright? Two things. kye chu nyi den gyi nge she de You must have a state of certainty which has those two characteristics.

Things are appearing as though they were emptiness to it and it is taking them as empty. Alright? nge she de nyi je me ma je pa Don't forget it.

Hold it. And try to stay in that. Someday in your experience, probably when someone hurts you really bad, when someone really hurts you, and then this big me will come out.

This me who didn't deserve to be hurt. We can sit here all day and talk about deserving what comes to us. Then when you go outside and someone says the smallest thing to you, the mic who's not real pops up.

Like, I didn't do that. I don't know why you're saying that. It was a perfectly good class.

You know what I mean? You just got out of the class explaining why you deserve everything and someone criticizes your class and you're like, and then that's the mic that doesn't exist. Hold it.

jin dang shuk shin du song wa dang shuk shin du song wa means if you start to lose it. Like you catch the mic. You know?

You taught this class for 10 days. You went outside. Somebody filled out an evaluation form.

He said, I had one in Singapore. Was it? No.

Shanghai. We spoke to the Entrepreneurs' Organization which is the baby YPL guys. And that the guy, it was a really high class group and all these great business owners and then the Jules guy, Jules his name, he ran up to me afterwards.

He says, I got your evaluation forms. In EO you have to fill out evaluation forms before you go home because they gave you a free dinner and you have to write how you'd like to talk. And he said, look at this.

10, 10, 10, 10, 10. And then he goes, look at this one. And I'm like, what?

He says, by the way, that's the highest rating we ever had at a talk. And I'm like, sure. And then he says, but look at this last one.

And it says, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0. And it says, this guy must be on drugs. So, you know, then you get this thing, you know.

You just finished telling the EO how everything's coming from yourself. And then you're like, how could he say that? So then, when that comes up, you've got to be waiting for that.

You've got to be waiting for someone to give you a good insult. So keep your eyes open. And then it comes up.

And then he says, grab it. Just hold it, you know. Grab that mic.

Grab that mic. Don't let him go. Hold on to him.

Observe him. You know, look. There's the mic that doesn't exist.

I got a gotcha. Gotcha. Some people say, my students in New York used to call it gotcha.

Because you can grab the gotcha. And you can say, okay, I got, you know. Then you MMA him, right?

What is it? MMA? He showed me five minutes of MMA.

You don't want to see it. This is like martial arts plus boxing. No rules.

But then you've got to do it to the gotcha. This guy was straddling a guy and just punching me in the head over and over and over. And there's no rules.

You can just do that, you know. And then I, you've got to do that to the gotcha, okay? Basically, you get him in a grip like this and you just punch him.

Yeah. So, when you catch a gotcha, hold on. Don't let your recognition of who he is fail.

Don't let it fail. Hold it. Hold that insult.

Hold that feeling. Me? Michael Rhodes?

God is Zero? You know. And then if it starts to fail, if the gotcha starts to slip out of your hands, gotcha is like a greased pig, right?

Hard to hold. He's actually talking about inner meditation. Try inner meditation to bring up a gotcha and try to hold it.

It's not difficult because most of us spend most of our meditation time thinking about the wrongs that people have done us. Okay? So, you don't have to get out of your meditation.

You don't have to come out of the meditation. Try to... Don't stir yourself from your meditation.

Hold the gotcha as strong as you can and then go through the reasons why he can't be there. Review the reasons why he can't be there. No.

Has Michael Rhodes never accused someone else of being on drugs? Like, so philosophically incoherent that they're on drugs. Has he never said anything like that?

Okay? Because if he hasn't, then it's undeserved. If he has, then it's totally deserved.

It's expected. It's required. Okay.

Tsongpa-na. Nge-nye-pa-ni nge-she-den-da-ke. Ngar nge-she-de-ngar-ke.

Okay? Ngar can either mean in Tibetan, to me, or it can mean meditational ngar, meditational intensity. So, he's saying, turn your ngar to this gotcha.

Turn your ngar to this gotcha. You're like, hey, I've been looking for you. It's so cool that you showed up.

And you're so strong and bright right now. You're so outstanding right now. It's so obvious to me, right at this moment, standing there in Shanghai, in that restaurant, with that little stunned silence.

And you're like, yeah, I've been waiting for you. And then, feel some pleasure that you caught him. You've been waiting a long time to catch an extreme case of ngar, an extreme case of gotcha.

And now you got him. And appreciate it and have some ngar. You know, like, feel happy that you got him.

Ngar deng gi gyun det, se chik jin nyang pa shak. And go into, say, chik, which is right there. Right there.

Sorry. Right there. Go into, say, chik on it.

Go into, say, chik on that gotcha. Get to know the gotcha. There are all these subtle, half-invisible things running around in your mind, right?

Now you know how to identify the part of your mind which raises the alarm when your meditation is failing. You've also learned, you've met face-to-face the part of your mind which brings your mind back. And you've even met the meditational contentment and depth, which is ngar.

Now get to know gotcha. In meditation, get to know gotcha. The process of meditation is learning to identify within your own mind all these very, very subtle mechanisms of your mind that you were just unaware of, that were going on all along.

It's very, very beautiful. Get to know your mind the way you would get to know the people in a room. Put little, what do you call them, name tags on different parts of your mind.

Oh, that's ngar. Wow, I've been looking for you. That's gotcha.

That's jemba. That's sheshin. Oh, that's agitation.

Instead of following the thought about lunch, you observe the thought about lunch and you say, Ah, you're on the poster. I saw you on the poster. You're like the rabbit or the monkey or something.

I saw you. Learn to identify the different workings of your mind. Then you really know something.

People like to know foreign language or the Latin names for different parts of your body. But this is so much cooler. I know, oh, you're ngar.

Hi. Get to know all the subtle pieces in your mind. Let me start to write something.

So then there's a meditation on emptiness. There's a point in your meditations on emptiness that we call nam kha tabu. Nam kha means space.

There's a debate in Abhidharma which you should be aware of. There's a conventional nam kha and there's a real nam kha. Nam kha can mean sky, akasha.

It can mean sky. We named him akasha. We made him a monk and we named him akasha.

Which is the Sanskrit for sky. Sky. Cielo, right?

It can be... The blue thing is a sky. But that's not the philosophical meaning of space.

The philosophical meaning of nam kha or akasha is the absence of anything. It's space. If you think about it carefully, you can say place.

Place. I'll give you an example. CHEN NAM SAG CHE SA PHUN MED LAM MA LTA BU'I DU CHE NAM SAG CHE THAMS CAD DE DAG LA SA NAM KUN DU RGYAS PA RGYUR SAG ME LAM GYI DEN PA DANG DU MA CHEN NAM SU MYONG DE NAM KHA DANG NI GO PA NYID These are the opening lines of the Abhidharma karsha.

And they talk about space. It's talking about space. It's very easy to find things which are constantly changing.

Because everything around you is changing. But it's rather difficult to find something which is unchanging but which still exists. And there's only a few.

NAM KHA DANG NI GO PA NYID In the Abhidharma, there's only three. So, one of them is space. Why?

What does that mean? Okay, here's a mint that somebody gave me. Or rat poison.

I don't know. I think it's a mint. Okay?

Somebody gave me a mint. Somebody gave me a mint. Okay?

It's occupying a certain position in space. The mint is occupying a certain position in space. I can remove the mint from that space.

When I give this teaching, I always think of going on an airplane and there's a little piece of plastic on the seat that says, Occupado. So, this is Occupado. That position in space.

And I'm not talking in my head. I'm talking in the universe. Certain coordinates relative to Sirius and Alpha Omega.

You could pinpoint this place in space between all the stars. This has a place. There's a coordinate which describes where this mint is in space.

Then if you move it, what happens to the space? It becomes unoccupado, desoccupado. Me desoccupado, lector.

These are the opening lines of Don Quixote. So, desoccupado. Check it.

I'm running out of time. So, anyway, desoccupado means it's not occupied anymore. But did it change?

So, this place didn't change. The space didn't change. That's what they mean when they say empty space.

And that's a very profound thing because emptiness is very similar. It's one of the most similar things to emptiness. Empty space or place, empty space is one of the most similar things to emptiness.

Why? It's defined by a lack of obstructivity I don't know. Obstruction.

Obstruction. Which all that means is that the space is there whether it's occupied or not. The space is always there.

The space is always available. It can be occupied or not. If it were not available, even when it was occupied, it would spit out the mint and it would fly back into my head.

You see what I mean? There is empty space there and it is available or else the mint couldn't be there. Even when the mint's there, there's available space because it may be occupied but it's still there.

So, emptiness is similar. You've got to get used to when you see emptiness directly, it will be an experience of a higher reality, of a reality you were never aware of. It's a direct experience of a higher reality, almost, what do you call it?

Indescribable. The actual experience is indescribable. But it's like space.

It's called nam kathabu. It's called like space because there's an overwhelming feeling of nothing there. Something is absent.

It's an absence of something. And there's no other feeling like that. You can't describe it.

It's just a sheer absence of something and it's higher. And all things exist within it. And without it, nothing could exist.

So, you come to the base reality of all things when you reach emptiness. Without it, nothing could exist. So, it's a higher level of reality.

So, anyway, that's called space-like meditation. nam kathabu kyong tso yin la, de che gang che dak kekpe shuk gyi thay ne pe ngai nang wa dok de ma nye pa na che tar sung do kyi thay ne pe nga tsul we nga wa cha mi go sung This was a little bit difficult for me when I read it, okay? This part was a little difficult for me.

He said at that point, meaning when you're starting to feel that absence of Nick, of the Nick who was wrongly blamed. When you find that absence, de che, gang che dak kekpe shuk gyi there's a side effect. shuk gyi means there's a side effect.

You establish that the mind you thought was there is not there. And then that creates another impression. In deepened meditation that creates another impression.

What's that? shuk gyi thay ne pe ngai nang wa dok de When you're in a deep meditation upon the absence of the Nick who was ever, who was never there, it's rather difficult to find the Nick who is there. It's not that he doesn't exist.

It's not that he's a gacca. It's just that you're so engrossed in the absence of the one Nick that you kind of lose the other one for a while. In the actual direct perception of emptiness you can't perceive anything which is not the absence of Nick, the wrong Nick.

So you can't perceive yourself. You can't perceive the meditation. You can't perceive time going by.

You can't be aware of any other thing which is not the absence of the Nick who was never there. It's just not possible. So, Pabongka Rinpoche is describing a deep state of meditation.

You are close or you are seeing emptiness directly and then you will lose Nick. You will lose the real Nick because he's not emptiness and you are single pointed on emptiness.

[Говорящий 2] (1:07:40 - 1:07:40)
Okay?

[Говорящий 1] (1:07:41 - 1:14:57)
If you're single pointed on emptiness and anything is not emptiness you can't see it. Okay? It's like if you're really single pointed on the golden room you cannot be aware of this room.

It's not possible. If you're really single pointed on your teacher's face you can't see their chest. Okay?

It's not possible. If you have real meditation real, real meditation then you can't perceive anything else because real meditation means ekagra, single point. So when you're finally located the absence of the Nick that was never there the Nick who is there might slip away for a while.

He says, don't freak out. Don't worry about it. Okay?

cetah hung dok dok means ungrounded fear. You don't have to have an ungrounded fear that you are falling into what we call cetah. Cetah means nihilism.

It's the Buddhist word for nihilism. What is nihilism? It means, oh, the Nick I thought was there is not there so nothing exists.

There is no Nick. Someone gives you a good teaching about how the Nick you thought was there is not there. And then you decide there's no Nick at all.

Okay? You go too far. You cancel everything.

That's called cetah. You don't have to worry that you're falling into nihilism if you lose the me who's really there while you're focusing on the fact that the me who was never there is not there. Okay?

You don't have to...oh, should I say it again? You don't have to worry that you are falling into a nihilistic view which holds that nothing exists if you lose the Nick who does exist while you're focusing on the absence of the Nick who couldn't have been there. All right?

Okay. cetah hung dok yi tanyepay nga tsungway ngelwa chag mi gud Ngelwa means don't exhaust yourself in a fruitless effort. That's ngelwa.

What? Trying to find the Nick who is there. Because that's not the point.

At that time, just rest in the absence of the Nick who couldn't have been there. And don't go freaking out and looking to find the Nick who is there because he's going to sit there. He's there.

Don't worry. He's meditating. Okay?

You don't have to worry that you're going to lose that Nick. Okay? Don't tucker yourself out.

Ngelwa mi gud. By looking for him at the wrong moment. Because while you're focusing on the absence of the Nick who couldn't have been there, you can let the other Nick go for a while.

He'll come back when you stop meditating. So... What is the time?

We start in a few minutes, right? What time is it supposed to start? 3.30, right?

Is it okay if we go a little bit more? I know it's warm in here and I know you're tired. But we still have to track through this.

We have to keep on schedule for the 10-year plan. I studied Russian in college and I hated it. And...

At the time, it was the Soviet Union. So the only literature coming out of the Soviet Union was 10-year plans and 5-year plans and heroes of Soviet labor stories. She grew 38 chickens in a month.

They banned all the other stuff. Dostoevsky, Tolstoy. Anyway...

We have a 10-year plan. And if I don't finish... If I don't finish a certain amount in this retreat, we're going to get behind.

And then we'll be getting into 2024 or something. Okay. Here we go.

It'll come fast. Diamond Mountain is, I said, 7 years. And everybody's like, oh, that'll be a long time.

It's finished. Okay. Nipa Jetot Gyumatavo Kyongtso Ni.

He has finished a very, very general description which was supposed to end in a dramatic moment when we were seeing emptiness directly. That experience takes about 20 minutes. And it takes billions of lifetimes to get there.

To get to that 20 minutes takes billions of lifetimes. And then due to many factors, but most importantly your study of these things, then you go into the direct perception of emptiness. And it's just a simple absence of who you thought you were.

It's just a simple absence of who you thought you were. And then you stay there and you don't know how long because you can't be aware of time. When you come down and you look at the clock, you can...

You know how long you were in, but you didn't know it when you were in. And you're not even aware of yourself. And also there's no time in there to go, hey, I did it.

Okay. Like afterwards you're like, hey, I did it, you know, after all these years. But while you're in it you can't even think about me.

You lose the conventional Nick, right? Then you come... We'll talk more about that I think tomorrow, okay?

Evening is the best time to talk about that. Because evening is the time for wisdom and knowledge and emptiness, and it's the woman's time. In the scriptures it's considered the woman's time.

And that's considered the best time to talk about something like the direct perception. But, when you come down out of the direct perception of emptiness, there's a thing called jetop. Okay?

Say jetop in your head. Okay? And then at that point you have what we call jetop yeshe, say.

So he's going on to explain jetop. He's moving on to jetop. Jetop, if you saw emptiness in, let's say, 10 o'clock in the morning, jetop would pretty much last till midnight.

Jetop yeshe would last till about midnight. And there's a lot of cool stuff that happens to you during that time because of the karma you collected by seeing something which could liberate every being on every planet of the universe. So that's a pretty good karma.

Then you have weird things happening to you for 24 hours, okay? For the next, what, 14, 15 hours you have all these weird things happening to you because your karma is extraordinary. So you can read other people's minds and you can see 500 years into the future, things like that.

[Говорящий 2] (1:14:57 - 1:14:57)
Okay?

[Говорящий 1] (1:14:58 - 1:15:45)
You have bodhicitta. You see the faces of every living creature in all worlds at the same time. But there's another important thing that happens to you.

The moment you come out of your first experience of the direct perception of emptiness, you say to yourself, Gee Wally, or whatever the Chinese is, I don't know. But you say, what is it, fantástico? What do you say in Spanish?

I don't know. But anyway, it's like, wow, that's the first time I ever saw anything correctly in my life.

[Говорящий 2] (1:15:46 - 1:15:46)
Okay?

[Говорящий 1] (1:15:47 - 1:31:59)
My whole life. Even those impressions, fleeting impressions that took a second or two seconds, they were all mistaken. Okay?

I was grossly mistaken in every perception I ever had in my whole life. Up to now. Up till today.

Everything I ever thought was wrong. Okay? And the way things appeared to me was deceiving.

And I was fooled by everything in my whole life. I was fooled by everything. Colors, shapes, presidents, airplanes, thoughts, impressions, emotions, partners.

Everything was wrong. Everything I saw wrong. But now I've seen how things really are.

But then you come down, you see, you can't sustain the perception. You don't have the karma to sustain the perception. You come down, and the old perception reasserts itself.

Okay? The old impression reasserts itself. You start seeing things very fundamentally as coming from their own side.

Even while I'm explaining that it's not coming from its own side, you're holding that it's coming from its own side. Even while I'm explaining it. And my words you are taking as coming from their own side.

And me you're taking as coming from their own side. Okay? You are making this mistake as we all agree that we understand the mistake.

You are still making it. Okay? The interesting thing is when you come out of the direct perception of emptiness, that mistake reasserts itself.

But you know you're wrong. Okay? You know you're wrong.

After that, if someone asks you is what you're seeing real, you'll say no. Or at least it's not the way I thought it, that I think it is. Well, how is it really?

I don't know. I can't see that cart yet. You see?

I know it's wrong but I can't do anything. I like to think of what was that guy's name? Who went looking for the golden fleece?

Uh... Is it Jason? Yeah.

Where is Jason? Yeah, Jason's back there. I think it's Jason.

I don't remember exactly. But they go by the land of the sirens. There's a place called the sirens.

The sirens are these very beautiful women who sing a very beautiful song. And then the sailors get excited and they want to go meet the ladies. And they head their ship in towards that village on the side of the water.

And there's jagged reefs there. And they always crash their boat and they all die. And then the...

Oh no, the sirens take them prisoner or something and they become slaves of the sirens. I forget. At least they lose all their stuff.

Uh... And usually they're alive. So Jason knows about the sirens.

Uh... And he does this clever thing. Like he's rowing around to get the fleece.

And he's got all these guys rowing the boat. So he says, we're about to hit the land of the sirens. So...

Here's wax. He gives everybody beeswax. And he says, jam this into your ears so you can't hear the sirens.

And then he says, before you do that, tie me to the mast. And don't put any wax in my ears. And then...

And then I'm going to be crazy for a while. And I'm going to be begging you to release me. But don't do it.

Okay? It's very cute. You know?

It's like... In 20 minutes, I'm going to be crazy. In an hour after that, I'll be myself again.

But between the 20 minutes and the hour, whatever I do or say, just ignore it. Tie me to the mast and don't obey my instructions for an hour. You know?

And they tie him to the mast. And then he hears the sirens. And then he goes wild.

Like he's trying to... We gotta go. You know?

We gotta go. And they all say, yeah, yeah. Uh...

That's the closest way that I can relate with the feeling of what it is to come out of emptiness and then understand that you're crazy. To still know that you're wrong and not be able to stop it. So much later, when you reach bodhisattva level number 8, when you reach nirvana, you're able to stop the appearance of things the wrong way.

But up till that time, you're like Jason. Everything is calling you and you believe it and you know you're wrong. It's very interesting.

It's a schizophrenic state of being. And it's called gyumatavu. Gyumatavu means the illusory stages.

Why? Things appear to you to be coming from their own side. And for the first time, you can appreciate it fully.

But you cannot stop it. You can't stop things looking to you the wrong way. But you know you're wrong.

Okay? So it's a very weird... That's real gyumatavu.

That's real jetavu. Jetavu means the period after you see emptiness directly. The gyumatavu lasts for the rest of your life until you reach nirvana.

You walk around saying, everything looks a certain way but I know it's wrong. And I can't stop seeing it that way. Got it?

You know you're seeing it wrong and you can't stop it. So it's called the stages of illusion. Now he's talking about sort of a conventional meditation on the Nick who's not there.

So you chose to take as your meditation object the Nick who was not there. And you had a good meditation on the Nick who was not there. Right?

And you did a pretty good job of canceling the Nick who couldn't have been there. Then you come out of the meditation. Then he says, shuldu.

Now there's sort of a... What do you call it? There's something left to clean up.

I guess you call it that. Anyway, there's something left to do. There's still...

The big job was done and now there's... That's created a smaller job. What's the smaller job?

shudu. You have to examine how much Nick is left. You went into a good meditation.

You met the Nick who was not there. Which is the Nick who was wrongly blamed. You got a good clear picture of him.

He's Mr. Gotcha and you gotcha the gotcha. You got him. What is it?

MMA is it? You MMA'd him for a while and then he kind of went away. The Nick who was never there.

How do you know he's gone away? You don't feel angry anymore. How do you know he's still there?

You are in any way unhappy. If throughout your day for even 30 seconds you are unhappy, you are directly dealing with a gotcha. There's something going on with a gotcha.

There's no unhappiness in the world which is not directly related to misperceiving yourself. It's not possible to be unhappy unless you are misperceiving the reality around you. It's a measure of your understanding.

Because if you really understand you cannot be unhappy. It's not possible. It's really weird, right?

But I guess that's the point. What's left after you MMA the Nick who was never there? You come out of your meditation you say, well, how much Nick is there?

How much real Nick is there left? LHAG PA NA LA MI'I TZAM ZHIG MI'I TZAM ZHIG Very, very important. MI'I TZAM MI'I TZAM means Nama Matra.

Nama Matra means no more than than a the text says and the tradition is to say MI'I TZAM, only a name. Nothing left but a name. But it's wrong.

It's misleading. Okay? And if you read this text carefully you find what name refers to in this context which is the picture of Nick coming out of your head due to the amount of kindness you showed others in the past.

The picture of Mike or Nick coming out of your head due to the amount of kindness you have or haven't shown to others in the past. That's all that's left of Nick. After your MMA What does MMA stand for?

You can't tell me. Mixed martial arts. Yeah.

You can kick, you can bite, you can punch, you can everything. Okay, you can't fight. Alright, I knew that.

But anyway, what's left after you get finished MMAing the Nick who was never there is the Nick who's flowing from the seeds in your mind that you planted by being good or not to others. That's the only Nick left. Okay, MI'I TZAM.

Only name. But it means only the picture coming out of your mind. That's all the Nick there ever really was.

That's the only Nick there ever really was. The Nick that was flowing out of your mind from seeds you collected by hurting or helping other people. That's the only Nick there.

When you get finished punching out the Gajah Nick, the only Nick left is the one that's flowing out of your mind from your own seeds. Okay? MI'I TZAM ZHIG LHAG PA'I RNAMS THA GNYIS PA'I NGA TZAM RGYUD TZAM GNYIS KYI RGYU MA BZHIN DU DGE MI DGE LAS SOGS CANG This Nick who's left over after we punched out the Nick who was never there.

How we punch a Nick who was never there, I don't know. We'll talk about that. The one that's left over, now he's shifting to a whole new important subject, okay?

Whole new important subject. That Nick can do everything and there's no problem with that. That Nick can hurt people, that Nick can be nice to people, that Nick can keep his vows, that Nick can break his vows, that Nick can collect good karma, that Nick can collect bad karma, okay?

That Nick exists, and that Nick can do stuff. And that's a big deal, you're supposed to go, wow, you know. An illusory Nick can do everything, you see.

That's the only Nick who can do everything. The Nick who's flowing from your own seeds, that Nick can do all the stuff that you used to think the other Nick was doing. That Nick can do everything, no problem.

Lesok, he can collect karma. Namingkarnath Sosonyoma, karma shukla karsnam yoginis trivida mitre sham, last chapter of Yoga Sutra. He can collect white karma, he can collect black karma, he can collect neutral.

Karnath Sosonyoma, and he can undergo their respective consequences, no problem. That Nick who's only flowing from Nick's seeds, he can, he can commit karma, and he can experience the consequences of the karma. Ngeshe Tempo Tamayin, you must come to a strong grasp of this, of this, that the illusory Nick can do everything.

Is the bumper on a taxi speeding down a street in New York City coming from your mind? Yes. Can it still break your leg?

Definitely. You know, will you still have to pay the bill that you get from the hospital? Yes.

All because of a bumper who's coming from your mind. It's almost not fair. Okay.

Now to get into the example of a magician, okay? I'll just finish that, and then we'll start. They talk a lot in the ancient books about the concept of a magic show, okay?

And if you've ever been to one in a village in India, it's really fun. So, you know, a walking mendicant magician yogi comes, walks into town. It's all exciting, and the first people to detect him are the little kids.

And they rush out of the, they rush out of the street, and they say, oh, a magician is here, you know? And then the elders are a little bit, they just put up with it, you know? And then first thing he does, he goes to the chai shop and demands a free chai, free tea.

And he gets one. And, you know, he gets a free snack. And then by that time, a big crowd of kids has come, and then the older kids come, and then their parents come.

And then pretty soon, all you can see is this mass of people. You can't see the magician in the middle. But you know a magician's there if you see a mass of people.

So you kind of like, you work your way towards the front, you know? And then you get to where the magician is. And then he takes, it's called a dew.

He takes a, what do you call, a token. He takes a token. Sometimes it's wood, sometimes it's stone.

And he does a mantra. This is the old meaning of mantra, it's magic, you know? And he does a mantra, and he blows it on, and then suddenly it goes like this, and there's a cow.

And you really see a cow. Everybody backs up. If you're in the front, you get squashed, you know?

Like everybody backs up, and there's this big cow there with horns, you know? And everybody's like, oh. And then it's just a stick.

He has this way. It's beautiful. It's very amazing.

I don't know exactly. It must be a mantra or something. I don't know.

But it looks like a real cow. And you're afraid. Like you back up, and there's this big long-horned cow, you know?

And you think, oh, he's going to gore me, you know? What does the magician see? He just sees a stick, okay?

He's immune to the mantra. And there's some kind of powder. Maybe it's a hallucinogen.

I don't know. He throws some kind of powder. No, it's a mantra and then some powder.

And then everybody sees a cow, except the magician. He just sees a stick. Even though...

Sorry. I'm sorry. I blew it.

He also sees a cow, because the powder touches him, and the mantra also affects him. But what? He's not afraid of it, because he knows it's not real.

He knows if he reached out, he could put his hand through the cow. Nobody else knows that. I mean, they kind of know it, but they're all afraid.

But the magician still sees the cow, but they know it's not real, okay? They see the illusion. They see through the illusion, but they still see the cow.

That's similar to a person who just came out of the direct perception of emptiness. They still see things the wrong way, but they know it's wrong. They know it's not really that way, okay?

All right. We'll stop there.