Серия ежедневной практики ACI — Тонглен: размышления о практике даяния и принятия (2019, Аризона), занятие 5

[Speaker 1]
We're going to do the 13-point meditation, let me get it, and several people ask me, they want to do more projects, but they also feel very busy and they feel a lot of pressure. So they want to know how can I do more projects and how can I not feel stress, you know? How can I do more things for people but inside I become more peaceful, okay?

So we're going to do SDONG LEN for... this is how to do, okay? We have to do SDONG LEN for busy people, somebody who's busy, very busy, because we want to do a lot of good things for people, but we also want to be peaceful.

We don't want to feel stress and then the meditation won't go well and you can't see emptiness, okay? So we want to do both, right? But also I like, in my personal life, I like to be super peaceful and calm and I don't feel stress, okay?

So we're going to do this kind of SDONG LEN this morning with the 13 steps, okay? Cool? I think all of us need this.

I need also. So the best way to get more time and the best way to get more peaceful at the same time is to SDONG LEN with the MAMA and with the exchanging, okay? Good?

Okay, here we go. Small smile. Relax your eyelids.

Relax your hands. Stomach is pulled in a little bit. The feeling in this room right now, it feels good.

I'm happy about your meditation. You had a good retreat. It's like you're at level nine and your eyelid closed and it got very quiet here, most people.

So I think you had a good retreat. Please come again. It's good to have a break in your life.

Now let's do ten slow breaths, long out-breaths, and put your mind on your breath like you put your head on your pillow. Then we're going to do the 13-part meditation and this means we're also going to do SDONG LEN with someone, maybe not very close to us, so not your family or not your close friends, but maybe somebody you work with. Maybe somebody, I'm thinking in my business, a supplier or an employee.

Someone I'm not that close to them. It's not my family, not my close friend, but we are trying to reach a feeling of equal, treat other people equal, the people I know and the people I don't know so well. And today this SDONG LEN is special SDONG LEN.

To plant the seeds, to be able to do big projects, to be able to be busy helping people. All of our projects are helping people. Our work, our businesses are also helping people.

Many people are helping with many good projects. John Brady's project to save ancient wisdom, and projects to help children in Mexico, and there are many projects. And today the meditation is, how can I be very busy and do big projects and at the same time those projects are growing and growing, but at the same time my meditation is going deeper and deeper.

At the same time that I have more and more things to do, I feel more and more relaxed. I don't feel busy. I don't feel stressed.

I'm doing big projects. I'm helping many people. I'm working to make money and take care of my family, but at the same time my inner feeling is more and more relaxed, more and more happy.

I don't feel nervous. I don't feel stressed. You can give me more projects and my meditation will go deeper and deeper, and I will feel more and more relaxed.

It seems impossible, but as we learned from Nagarjuna, all things are coming from seeds. So if we plant the seeds with DONG MIN, it will be possible to do many projects for people, and take care of my family, take care of my business, but at the same time my meditation can get deeper and deeper, and actually I feel more and more relaxed. I feel more open, space in my mind.

I don't feel busy. So choose a person. Step number one of the 13 steps.

Choose a person in your life. Someone you're not too close to, but who's very busy. We all know some busy people.

The person who does the plumbing on my house. The person who fixes the water taps and faucets. He's very, very busy.

I don't know him very well. Almost I don't know his name, but I know he's extremely busy. He never has time, and he always has a lot of stress.

So maybe I will choose this person for DONG MIN. He's not close to me. He's not my family.

He's not my close friend, but I know his life is very, very busy, and he has a lot of stress. Family stress also. Okay, here we go.

You choose somebody. Because the mind has a cause, because this moment of my mind came from yesterday's mind, and yesterday's mind came from mind before. And chemicals cannot actually make awareness.

They are different stuff, different substance. Therefore my mind has always existed in this universe. I have been through countless lives, and this plumber that I'm thinking about, he has been my mom many times.

It's very strange to think of this old plumber guy that I came out of his body, and he happily took the pain, suffering of birth, to give me life. And it feels very strange to imagine I am drinking milk from his breath in my past life, and it feels strange to think he is feeding me very carefully, very patiently, over and over, giving me soft food, then teaching me how to poo-poo. It's very strange to think my plumber, this old plumber who comes to my house, he cleaned the poo-poo from my body many times, and worked to give me clothes when I was a child, and took me to school, gave me love.

So imagine this person has been your mom. Think about what they did for you. After that third step of thinking about what they did for us, the fourth step, of course if someone spent many years of their life, sacrificed their life, which all mothers do, sacrificed their time, didn't have any free time, didn't have any time to relax or to rest.

They did all these things for me for many years. Then of course it would be so nice, now I am grown up, I'm not a child anymore, and at sometime in our life all of us begin to think, oh my mom, she spent so many hours of her life, she gave me so much of her life, sacrificed her life for me. Then I should do something to help her.

So step four, oh I should do something to pay her back, my plumber mom. I should take responsibility. If I'm a good person and she gave me so much love, so many years of her life, at least I can help her a little bit, my old plumber mom.

Then sometimes we feel, oh I'm very busy, I don't have time to take care of this old plumber. It's difficult for me to have time to take care of myself, and I cannot give money to everyone who needs money. I need for myself.

And that's true. We have to eat, we have to have a place to live, but so does my mom plumber. She also needs a place to live, she also needs money.

I should be equal. We have equal rights. Everybody appreciates equal rights in every country.

Every person should have equal chance, equal opportunity, equal rights to be happy. So if I'm a good person I should agree the plumber mom, she has an equal right to me, to my money, to my time. She has equal rights.

I'm not more important than her. We are equal important. In my whole life, this is step six, my whole life, I've been focusing on myself, making money for myself, feeding myself, combing my hair, buying clothes for me.

My whole life I've been taking care of this body. But in the end it doesn't mean much. This body will get old.

This body already probably has several diseases. One of them will kill me. So to spend all my time taking care of this body, which will fail, it will break.

One day it will be finished. Then why spend so much time on one body that won't stay very long? Why not give my help to other people?

It's strange that I take care of one body, and that body won't last. It's strange I will spend all my effort on one body. Then I can think about how beautiful it is when I take care of other people.

This is step seven. If the seeds are true, then the way to make myself happy, and the way to get everything I want, is to pay more attention to what other people need. I don't have to ignore myself.

I also have equal rights. So it's not a sacrifice. I'm not stop eating, and I don't stop buying things for myself.

Let's buy nice things for myself and my family. That's good. But let's also give some time to buying things for other people who I don't know so much, and making sure everybody has food.

If I happily, in a relaxed way, I buy things for myself, and I take money for myself, but I also share with other people, then it's such a nice way of life. The more I share, the more I have for myself and my family. This is a nice system.

It's fun to take care of other people. It makes everyone happy and relaxed, and at the same time I will have more to help my family. So let me take care of all these other people also.

If the plumber is very stressed out, then let me go and talk to him when he comes to my house. Give him a nice coffee, tell him to sit down and relax with me, and take my time to make him relax. If I do that, if I take this little time for others, for my mom, this system is so cool.

I will have more time for myself. Someone will give me time, and I can do more projects, and I can be more and more relaxed. Step eight, it's kind of the logical discussion to myself.

If I don't want to be so busy, the old logic says, oh I should do less things. I should not take care of other people. I don't have time.

It would be nice, but I don't have time. I have to do less things. I have to do fewer things.

That's the old logic. New logic, time comes from giving time to other people. Sit down, relax, ask the plumber, my mom, when he comes to my house, then take the time.

Sit down, talk about his family, talk about his life. Listen, give him some rest, give him some relaxation, give him my time. And this new system is so cool, because every minute I give to him, I'm getting ten minutes back.

Step nine, I imagine how I look to him. Oh, this guy, I don't know him very well. His name is Mike.

I work at his house sometimes. He used to ignore me. He was very busy on his computer, and I used to come to work at his house, and he never had time to talk to me.

But now, strange, he seems to be more relaxed, and he takes the time to offer me a coffee, and we sit down, and he listens to me. I feel more relaxed when I go to his house. He seems to care about me.

Go into the other person's body, and look at yourself, and see the change, the improvement of this person. They are so calm, and they are so willing to give me some time to talk about my life. Now imagine all the busy feeling.

They have stress, too many things to do in their heart, in the mom plumber heart. This person I don't know very well, but try to imagine all the stress they have. They also have many things to do.

They also feel like they never have enough time. They also feel nervous many times. All that feeling, stress, collects in their heart like a black smoke.

Then we think, oh, I would take that. I will help you. I will take away your stress, even if the stress has to come to me.

I will take away your stress. You have been my mom many times. I would be a very strange person if I didn't help my mom.

Each time you breathe in, let the black smoke come out of their heart, out of their nose, and comes in front of your nose. Then check your heart. Inside your heart is a beautiful lotus flower, pink color, soft, very subtle, but very good smell.

And inside the petals resting in the middle is a diamond. You can imagine a meditation ring with a big piece of diamond. The diamond is your wisdom of understanding emptiness, husband in the kitchen.

The lotus is your love, your tonglen, and make a decision, I will take away your stress. Even if it has to come to me, I will take it away because you, you were my mom, you gave me so much. And on the count of three we will breathe in the smoke and destroy it in one breath, never more than one breath.

One, two, and three. And the smoke touches the diamond and there's a flash like lightning, and the smoke is destroyed. Like smoke, cigarette smoke, and then it goes away.

Your busy plumber friend mom, all the stress they feel, suddenly they don't feel so nervous. Suddenly they don't feel so busy. Suddenly they don't feel so much stress.

They don't know why. And that's a sort of nice that the child will take away the pain of the mom, without asking, and without telling the mom. They just take care of it.

This is a good boy, a good girl, takes care of mom, doesn't even tell the mom. So you can feel happy that you destroyed your mom's stress. Let's give her some relaxation.

Breathe out from that beautiful lotus some golden light, and it goes to her nose. She breathes in this golden light and it totally relaxes. It doesn't mean she has less things to do.

It doesn't mean she's not busy. But it means her feeling has changed. She feels calm, even when things are very busy, even when there's a lot of stress.

She feels confident, she feels relaxed. She's able to do many things without stress. Step twelve, I will take care of you.

Don't worry. Each time I see you, even in my meditation, Mr. Plumber Mom, I'm the one person you can count on in your life. I know you have friends.

I know you have family. I know you work with other people. I know you don't know me very well, but anonymously, without telling anybody, I will take care of you in this life and in many future lives.

I will be there to help you. I am your good son. I'm your good daughter.

You can trust me. I will take care of you. I make a commitment.

Step twelve, personal responsibility. Step thirteen, I will be a responsible person among all people. I will be that good example for everyone.

Anyone who meets me, even at the store or in the airport, who doesn't know me, they will feel something strange feeling from me. I'm very calm. I'm very happy.

I care about the people around me. I have some special love for those people. Even people who don't know me, in the airport, in the plane, in the grocery store, they feel inspired.

Something special about me. What is that? It's I spent my morning meditating to serve other people, to help other people.

My method of living is to take other people's stress, and take other people's busyness, and offer them a coffee, a few minutes to talk about themselves, their life. I will be the one who listens. I will be a bodhisattva.

There's a, in the bodhisattva vow ceremony, there's a beautiful verse. Now my life has meaning. Before my life it didn't have much meaning, but now I'm a bodhisattva.

I committed to do this meditation. I committed to take care of all my moms. Now my life has meaning.

Now there's a purpose to my life. My life wasn't wasted. Okay, good job.

Take a stretch. Open your eyes. Any questions about the meditation?

Janice has a question.

[Speaker 2]
Thank you for the lovely meditation Geshe-la. My question is, why do we just do it for just one person and not switch and bring in another one?

[Speaker 1]
Oh, and why not what?

[Speaker 2]
Well, you said to just do the meditation, just keep it on one person.

[Speaker 1]
Oh yeah.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, so I was wondering why?

[Speaker 1]
Oh, you can, I mean, after you learn to eat one churro, you can eat two. So it's generally when we meditate we start with one person. Later you can try more, but the idea is if you become an example with one person, then automatically you will serve others.

There's a famous question in, I think it's in Shantideva. It's, can I pay the bills of every person in the world? And the answer is, not right now.

So they say pay the bills of one person. Okay, and that's a good example. And then maybe other people will pay other people's bills.

So there's a discussion. Oh, it's in the opening lines of Dharmakirti, Pramanavarttika. Is it even possible to take care of everyone's bills?

And I have to say no. I mean, even words bills cost me so much. So, not possible, but if I try to become a good example for other people, then I can take care of other people's bills.

Through my thousand arms, it means through the people who see my example. Then I can grow a thousand arms. If I'm just a good example for one plumber.

Okay, so yeah, work with one person. And don't be impatient, okay? Don't be impatient with yourself.

Don't say, oh, I'm a bad person. I'm only helping one person. Don't think like that.

If you help one mom very well, then other people will look at you and they say, oh wow, that's cool. I like to do that. I would like to try that.

Yali is so busy, but she's so calm. She never gets stressed out and yell at people. And they will use that example.

And then they become your arm. Other people become your arms. Then you have a thousand arms, okay?