ACI 11 «Руководство к образу жизни бодхисаттвы, часть II», занятие 6

Class Six: Contemplations on the Perfection of Effort, Part Three
Geshe Michael Roach
July 31, 1997
transcribed by: Amber Moore

prayers: [short madala]
prayers:[refuge]

Okay, so this is the third talk about the chapter in the
[b:bodhisattvacharyavatara] by Master Shantideva on effort. And the definition
of effort, {sungkang gela trowa o}. You know, what is effort? It's to have a good
time doing good things. So in this, we've reached the point n the chapter where
Master Shantideva has been discussing {cache}. {Cache} means like, "hardships",
like hard things that you have to do for the Dharma. You know difficult things
that you might be called on to do sooner or later, for the sake of the Dharma.
and he go to the point about you know, these Bodhisattvas like Nagarjuna
himself. Acharya Nagarjuna, Arya Nagarjuna, himself, there's this story that the
way he died was that there was this young prince who was influenced by his
mother to ask Nagarjuna for his head and, and Nagarjuna, being a bodhisattva
agreed and Nagarjuna, being a boddhisattva agreed, he gave his head to this
boy who wanted it you know, and long story. But then Master Shantideva has
reached a point in the text where he says "People might ask you, "If I have to do
things like that I don't think I'll ever get to be a big time bodhisattva it seems too
difficult. You know, I can imagine being patient with my boss or I can imagine
making effort in my morning meditation and things like that, but the idea of
cutting off
my head or there's this classic thing in the scriptures of reaching into your eye
socket and ripping
out your eyeball and handing it to someone who needs an eye. Without
anesthesia, okay. I mean just reaching in with your own finger and, and pulling
out your own eyeball. Master Shantideva has reached a point in the text where
he wants to talk about, you know "Is that even possible for people like us?" And
should we be discouraged by imagining that kind of activity, because we know
we can't do it, I mean we're pretty sure we can never do it and he's been talking
about that subject so we're continuing with that subject. And I think the next
verse, to me is one of the most important ones in the whole text, so I'm gonna
read it in Tibetan. Hector is supposed to be reading these things, but we're
finishing like a half hour before class so there's no time, so I'm gonna read it in
Tibetan then I'm gonna gloss it in Tibetan, okay. It says, "{dikpa pangchu
dukngel me, kepey chunga miga me, detar lopa topa dang, dipe semdang nula
nu.} {Dikpa pangchu dukngel me}, the question is, where the text picks up
today, is, "when a bodhisattva does something like that, does it hurt them?" I
mean, how can they do that? Is it that they have some tremendous will power
to overcome the pain or is it maybe the case that they don't even feel it anything.
You know, that it doesn't hurt to do it, and the answer is very interesting, okay.
I'll put it here on the ....I'll write it in a minute, but he says, {dikpa pangchu
dukngel me} {Dikpa pangchu dukngel me} means, it's very interesting, "By the
time that you get to the point in your bodhisattva career where your called upon
to do something like give up your arm or your eye or your kidneys or
something like that, there's no pain, it doesn't hurt." {Dikpa pangchu dukngel
me} means, I mean, assuming your not a bodhisattva, a high bodhisattva, I don't
know who you are. You know it's one thing that we learn in the monastery, the
first class in logic, {yong nga dang nga drawa mayinbar shen gyi tsul sungwar
mija de numbar gyu tare} which means, "who knows who's who in this room?",
you know, I don't know who you are, I don't know what level you are. You
know you could have achieved Buddhahood a million years ago and you would
still look the same to me. So assuming there are no high bodhisattvas here,
which we don't know, he says, {dikpa panghu dukngel me}, which means, "By
the time you reach that state of being a high bodhisattva, you are so clean,
karmically, you know you are acting so well that it doesn't hurt anymore, it just
it doesn't hurt. It feels like giving away what? {Sem a la tso} Carrots and
potatoes. I mean the mode of content of reaching into your eye socket and
pulling out your eyeball and handing it to someone respectfully, is the same as
reaching into your refrigerator, picking up an old potato and handing it to
someone, it doesn't hurt anymore. Why? You have to understand that you
know, New York is empty and you are empty and your mind is empty and
that's why we talked about Buddha nature, last time. New York is empty, your
mind is empty and your body is empty. So New York city will eventually turn
into a Paradise for you, it depends on you. New York city doesn't have to be
good or bad, New York city is up to you. Whether you see New York city as a
dirty, bustling dangerous city or whether you see it as the big apple, full of
opportunity, or whether you see it as a Tantric Paradise, it's all up to you and we
talked about it in, I think it was in the Friday night class, what keeps you from
seeing New York as paradise and therefore, New York being paradise is mostly
not your major bad deeds, it's not that anyone in this room, much has murdered
anybody or embezzled all their companies money or you know, lied in a way
that sold their country to another country to another country or something like
that. I mean we do these low level constant puny, wimpy, bad karmas, like
being irritated at people as we walk down the street, and the collected energy of
all those minor bad karmas keeps us from seeing New York City as, as a sacred
place. And it's only that. So what do you imagine happens when you go to
{Kechara} Paradise? You know, is it that you've been a normal person for
twenty five, thirty five forty five years and you've just been acting like every one
else has been acting and no different, low level bad deeds all day long you know
small things and then is something going to change suddenly and then
{Vadjrayogini} decides, "Oh you know, he's forty five now, you know, maybe
time to take Him to Paradise." And, and flies down and grabs you and takes you
to Paradise, you know. Is that the way it works? Is it that She makes some
decision and She comes and out of all the people, David Sykes is the luck one,
David Sykes wins the lottery you know, and let's take him today. You know
Let's leave the rest of the people forever, "let them all die", you know, let them
get cancer, let them get AIDS, this one can be in an car accident. And we'll take
David Sykes today to .... It doesn't work like that, I mean it doesn't happen like
that. It's a gradual change in your perceptions, which means a change in your
reality, because you know and I know that reality consists of your perception of
your reality. Reality is your perception of reality. When you get to Paradise, it'll
just be "plain old New York City", perceived as Paradise, but that's the same
thing as Paradise. And it doesn't happen in a day, Rome wasn't built in a day. It
happens slowly, as your practice gets better, and your mental afflictions get less.
As Master Shantideva pointed out, about irritating people, they will start to get
less and less. As your practice improves you will meet fewer and fewer irritating
people. That's why he says, "Try to cherish them, now, you know look around
you at all the people who irritate you, and, and think fondly of them, because
they ain't gonna be around too long, you know" Cherish them while you're still
here, because a year from now or two years from now, they're all gonna be
gone. The same people may still be in your life but they won't be irritating you
because you won't be creating bad karma. So you won't be able to perceive
them as irritating anymore. You will say, if you're into "self" existence, right,
"They changed." But they didn't change, it was your karma, was improving. So
actually, New York turning into a Buddha Paradise is a gradual change. And by
the time that you've been a bodhisattva for awhile, and it's time to give away
your eyeball, you do not have enough bad karma left to feel the pain, okay.
And that's that's the way it works. And it feels fine, and it's no trouble at all. So
what he's saying is, don't get {giluk}, right? What's {giluk}, not {gelug}, alright?

student: [unclear]

Yeah, don't get {giluk}, don't get discouraged you know, you can do it. Because
by the time you get to that it'll be no problem. You are not allowed the Buddha
prohibited normal, beginning people from trying things like that. Don't do any
act of charity which is beyond your capacity, you know start with potatoes, and
start with vegetables and build up. If you build up slowly everyday, like
exercising you'll be able to do anything. If you try to d, if you try to give away
your house tomorrow, you'll regret it in a week and then you'll feel bad and you
won't like the person you gave it to. Like Rinpoche was offered a house by
some lady who had a burst of devotion you know, in Washington D.C. and said,
"Rinpoche, I'll sign my house over to You." And He said, "It's okay, you keep
it." [laughs] You know and then you know a month later she was actually gone
and you now you shouldn't do things before you're ready. Start steady, slow
and steady wins the race. Start giving away things and then when your capacity
is more do more, it's like weightlifting or jogging or dancing, or anything else,
but start with what you can handle. But by the tome you, by the time you reach
that stage when it's time to do the very heavy things, like throwing yourself in
front of a car to protect someone, or jumping on a bomb or something, to
protect the other people around you, you won't hesitate and it won't hurt. You
know, it won't seem any trouble at all to you and He goes on to say that there
are two sources. It goes on to say, {Ditar lopa topa dang, dikpey semdang lu la
nu} means, "really there are two sources to all pain and if you understand those
two sources you'll understand that why for a, for a high level bodhisattva these
things just don't hurt anymore, okay. And I'm gonna writhe those down. I
think it's on your question here. The first two lines of the root text said, "{dikpa
pangchu dukngel me}, "because they have slowly given up all their bad karma,
they don't feel any pain. {Kepey chuna miga me}, "And because they have
become wise, they don't feel any mental sufferring." You know it doesn't make
them sad to give away their eyeball. They don't' miss it, okay and then he goes
on to describe the opposite. {Ditar lopar topa dang, dipe semdang lu la nu}, and
he's describing the two things which cause all mental and physical sufferring.
He's talking about the converse. He's saying, "Because these two high
bodhisattvas don't have these two problems, they don't have any problem with
giving away their eyeballs and stuff. And if you do have these two problems,
you're always gonna be in pain. No matter what. Whether you give away you
eyeball or you give it away or what, the eyeball itself is going to cause you pain.
Why? Two causes. {Kyi}, [repeat], {tak}, [repeat], {dang}, [repeat], {dakyir}
[repeat], {shenba}, sorry, normally it's {sungba}, I mean normally it's {sungba} in
philosophy. {Kangsak} means "person". "{dak}" means, "self existence", the 'self",
existence of a person. {Dang}, means "and". {Dakyir} means, the thing that
belongs to the "self existent person". Okay, the thing that belongs to, we can say
it like this, "To believe in a "self existent" me or mine", okay, "To believe in a "self
existent", me or mine.", okay. To believe that anything about you or anything
about our parts, meaning our mind, your mental functions, your physical body
could be self existent, to believe that is one of the two sources of all pain, of all
physical and mental pain. "This is a clue.", he says, why high bodhisattvas don't
have a problem when it comes time to cut off their fingers and offer them to
somebody who needs something to put in their soup tonight or something.
Okay, then I have a problem with that. First of all because first thing they don't
have this thing which causes all the mental and physical pain that people have.
It's the tendency to believe that you exist self existently, and that everything
about you is self existant. That causes all suffering. When you have the Wheel of
Life and you have the blind man in the first of the twelve links, that represents
very specifically that I myself, you know, I, Michael Roach or who ever you are,
fill in your name, or my arms or my legs or my mind are self existent, that
causes all suffering. And because bodhisattvas don't have that, they don't feel
any problem. Like the longer you get , the higher you get in your bodhisattva
career, as you go through the ten {bhumis}, the ten bodhisattva levels, your
tendency to see things as self existent gets less and less. Your inborn tendency
gets less and less. Up about the eighth level it starts to disappear completely. So
as time goes on you get less and less, it becomes less and less of a problem for
you. You are not committing bad deeds, you cannot commit a bad deed unless
you have this. Okay, if you don't have ignorance you cannot commit a bad deed
and you cannot have a mental affliction. It's very interesting. And if you don't
have a mental affliction or a bad deed, you cannot have sufferring, impossible.
And he's talking about mental and physical, he's very strict about it. I'll talk
about the other cause of bad deeds and the other cause of sufferring and then
we'll, we'll see how it relates. Number two, say {sok chu}, [repeat], {tsog},
[repeat], {kyi}, [repeat], {dikpa}, [repeat]. {Sok chu}, [repeat], {tsog kyi}, [repeat],
{dikpa}, [repeat]. Okay, {sok chu}, means "cutting life", it means killing, killing
any living thing. {Sok chu} means, "killing any living thing". {Tsog}, means,
"excetera". {Dikpa}, means "bad deeds". Okay, bad deeds, hurting other people,
hurting other things, hurting any living thing including yourself. And these are
the two causes of all physical and mental sufferring. All physical and mental
pain. Because bodhisattvas don't have them, or they are on a track where they
are getting less and less and less and less and less, they can't have pain, okay,
even if they wanted to. I mean they could sit there and stick a knife in their arm
and they wouldn't feel so bad and so Master Shantideva takes the opportunity to
point out that this is what is causing all our mental and physical sufferring. So
he's on the subject of why bodhisattvas, why it doesn't bother them to do these
extraordinary things and why you shouldn't feel discouraged that you can't do it
right now, because if you just lower these two things, you'll be able to do it later.
And then he takes the opportunity, by the way, if you want to know what
causes all of your mental and physical sufferring, this is it and this gets me on
one of my favorite subjects, okay. And this is it; What do you do if you have a
mental or physical problem in this life?" You know, I would say, physical
problem like some kind of illness, like you have a chronic disease, like you have
chronic fatigue, you have chronic hip problem or bone problem, you don't digest
food so well, you have problems digesting food. Or mentally, you're prone to
depression, you have problems with low self esteem, you know, you get
nervous easily, you can't concentrate on things. You got Lymes disease or
something an your physical and your mental parts are effected. And then
people come to me and say, "Should I take this medicine or that medicine?" You
know, please choose the medicine for me." And you know, "Should I go to this
psychiatrist or that psychiatrist? Or, "Should I not, what should I do?" You know
basically, it's a dumb question, it's an irrelevant question. If you go to a Dr. A,
and it works, it's not because of the doctor, it's because you stopped these two
causes of sufferring. You stopped seeing things as self existent and you stopped
hurting other people and if you go to Dr. B and it doesn't work. If his treatment
doesn't work, it's because you didn't stop those two. So it's a mute point, you
know. What he's saying, what he's saying is, not only does it work for
bodhisattvas, you know gradually, eventually, you can do anything to your
body and it won't hurt. You know eventually you can stay up for seven days or
ten years, like Lama Sopa or something, and it doesn't hurt anymore, it doesn't,
because you don't have anymore causes for sufferring. It won't hurt anymore,
it's not like he's a Superman, for him it doesn't hurt, but he has stopped the two
causes of it. So people come to me and say, I think I should give up this food, or
that food or I think I should eat this food or this food, it's irrelevant, you can eat
what ever you want, it won't make you healthy or it will make you healthy
depending on those two things and nothing else, you know. If you want to be
healthy stop these two. If you want to be happy and not feel depressed or feel
low self esteem or all the other problems which psychiatrists claim to cure, which
they don't cure, which they don't cure, which your karma cures, stop these two.
Learn how to stop them and as you work on them, your body will get healthier
and healthier and healthier and your mind will get clearer and clearer and that's
just the way it works, there's no other way. It doesn't work any other way.
Yeah?

student: [unclear]

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
student: [unclear]

Be careful., be careful, I'm not talking about self existent medication, okay, I'm
talking about empty medication. In Buddhism all medication is empty, there is
no self existent medication, you know and you can prove that. Give the same
medication to one hundred people. Thirty percent will be cured, thirty percent
will get worse and thirty percent won't happen anything, mostly. Most often, I
mean, especially psychiatric cures, that's why there is three hundred schools of
psychiatry that are practiced in New York City on any given day, [laughter].
No, seriously, and I'm not putting it down. What I'm saying is that if it works, it's
because of your good projections caused by your good karma. If it doesn't
work, it's caused by your projections, caused by your bad karma. If you want
the medicine to work, which it will work it could work, you have to be good and
you have to stop seeing things a self existent, and that is the bottom line on
health mental or physical. And this is where, this is the root text, this is the
scriptures, really. You know, that's medicine is not self existent, food is not self
existent, if food was self existent then every one could eat vegetables and not
get cancer or die. But there's lots of people who eat very well and get these
horrible diseases and die. It's related to your virtues and it's related to your
outlook.

student: [unclear]

Conventionally, if you have been a good person, that medicine will work and
conventionally if you have been a bad person, that psychiatric treatment rather
than curing you will make you crazier, you know and you've seen that. What
I'm saying is that it's independent of that. That's not why it works, if that was
why it worked then it would work for everybody equally and it doesn't, so it
obviously doesn't work that way and you just didn't notice it, you know, and
that's the truth, that's really the truth. You want to be healthy, be good to other
people, you want to be happy? Same thing and start fighting your self existence,
you know your vision of things as self existent. Learn what emptiness is, study
emptiness carefully. Start to act on that study and meditate on it deeply. And,
and you will be healthy and your mind will be clear and pure. And eventually, I
mean, if you take it to an extreme, your body will transform and your mind will
transform and that's Buddha nature, right? The emptiness of your mind and the
emptiness of your body is what makes it possible for you to become a Buddha
and you will. And, and then you won't have any health problems at all. Really,
this is the source of all, you know, the whole vitamin thing is a scam. [laughs]
{laughter}. Okay, and, and later on he says, "This always works, if it's a real
cause, it works all the time." Things that aren't real causes don't work all the
time. And then people have to argue about it. "My psychiatric treatment works
better than theirs", "No, mine is better." You know, but neither one cures
everybody, so it's not he cause of the cure. Okay, the other way is experiential,
try it, try it for six month and try it for a year. Stop hurting other people
verbally or physically and then work on emptiness, work to understand
emptiness and, and it will profoundly affect your mind and your body. Also in
the higher teachings which are secret, there's a profound connection between
your health and your view.         Whether or not you understand emptiness,
profound. You know and you can demonstrate it but we can't talk about that
and when your read, you should do that. When the time comes, the time will
some when it's time to do that and properly, okay. Next one , let me make sure
I did the homework. I'm just gonna read you the, it's like a blessing, okay,
{semchen dundru jachu pong, muten gatong towa yin, mupa dukngel jikpa
dang, deyi penyun smbey kye, detar mitun chopang te. mu dang ngagyel ga
dang tor, hlur len wangyur top gyi nyi, tsundru pelchir bebar ja}. Okay, he starts
to talk again about for forces okay, we already had four forces, we had the four
forces of the king, I don't know what they were. Elephanteers, charioteers,
calvary and infantry, okay and you've had four forces of purification in the past.
This is a new four forces okay? It's still compared to the kings four forces, but it's
a different four forces, but it's the kind of the same four forces but kinda
different four forces and...anyway. You have to answer it on your homework.
This is the four I'm talking about coming up now. Say, {Maputo top}, [repeat],
{mupay top}, [repeat]. {Mupa}, means here, will power, will, "will power". {Top}
mans, "force". This is the force of will, or wanting something to happen. In
Buddhism, does will power mean, if the dentist is drilling your teeth, you can will
power the pain away? No. Why? Where does the pain come from? Those two
sources, if you have those two sources, you're gonna feel pain no mater how
good your will power is, if you avoid those two sources and then you have will
power, you may be able to withstand the pain. But the will power is coming
from your goodness and your understanding of emptiness. If it works, it's really
that, if it doesn't work, it was really that, okay. {Mupay top}, means, not will
power in the sense of that, but will power here means, you start to get an inkling
of the tremendous energy behind karma and what it produces, you know, you
start to get some kind of feeling behind what it is, because we're Americans, we
just met Buddhism, we're fresh, you know, you can intellectually, develop this
instinct of how powerful karma is. You know, you can start to understand that if
you get angry for a moment, you can ruin years of effort, karmically, you can
wipe it out, erase it, in a moment of anger. You know, you can start to
appreciate that. And, and then what happens? You get {mupay top}. {Mupay
top}, is like will power. Like, "I want to know more and I want to learn to do
what is right and what is wrong. I want to know what is right and what is
wrong." Because if it's true that a moment of anger can wipe out my efforts for
years, then I want to know what to do, so {mupay top}, means, "I want to, I want
to learn what is the right thing to do. I want to learn more about karma." It's
like some kind of drive, yeah, you can call it drive. Yeah.

student: [unclear]

There's a different word for aspiration, actually, {mupa}, is defined with the other
word, {dunba}, which is aspiration, So, it's very close. But it means, like I want to
know, and I want to find out. I'm gonna study, like that's one kind of effort,
right? Like I'm gonna find out what this thing is and I'm gonna find out what is
good and what is bad. The study of what is good and what is bad, ethics,
consumes sixteen thousand pages of the Canon, You know the Buddha, it took
him like fifty years to teach what's right and what's wrong. It takes a long time
to learn. If you are not omniscient, you know studying it. What's the good thing
to do? What's the right thing to do? What are the exception? It takes a long
time, it takes a long time to study it. So this is like some kind of will or desision,
I'm gonna do that. That's force number one, number two... Somebody later has
to make a computer program with all the karmic, different ways that things
can.... What do they call it?

student: Permutations.

Permutations. Some one has to make a computer program based on the vinaya,
and the birth stories of the Buddha. The Jataka. You know, sixteen thousand
pages worth. Then somebody has to do a thing about all the permutations, like
if you get angry with this particular feeling, there is like thirty different
permutations, you know and it'll be nice. We should do that. Say, {tenbay top},
[repeat], {tenbay top}, [repeat]. {Tenba} means, "steadfast", steadfast, you know,
like, not moving, not shifting, no. {Tenba}, in colloquial, means you know, it
doesn't rock, it's steady. Steady as a rock.       {Tok} is, "force".     Force of
steadfastness, of being steadfast. And in the final pages of the, of this chapter,
Master Shantideva goes off, several times on this subject, and it's the following;
decide what you want to do with you life, think about what you want to do with
your life. You have very, very limited hours in your life, you know. Especially
in this insane American custom of working fifty our of fifty out of fifty two
weeks, for food. You know, for food, you know and leaving two weeks for
your life. You know that's like ninety-seven percent and three percent. It's crazy
that your gonna work ninety-seven percent of the time to do what you want
three percent of the time, it's crazy, it's insane, you know, and given that system
that we are in, you don't have any time, you know, you don't have any time,
We're struggling for an hour in the morning and a half hour at night to do our
practice, and that's it. You know and if you don't fall asleep and hit your head an
the closet, like I did, like a couple weeks ago, trying to meditate at one a.m. it
doesn't work. You have very, very few hour in your life, very very few, your
energy is leaking away. You know, don't kid yourself, a year from now, you
won't have nearly as much energy as you have now. Two years from now it will
be worse. Five years from now, you won't be able to recognize yourself, you
know. It's leaking away at a very steady rate. {Tenpay top} means, "investigate
carefully what you want to do with your life." Think carefully what you want to
do with your time and decide, before you start something new, even if it's
virtuous, even if it's a good thing, study if you have the resources to, to finish it
or not. Study whether or not you will be able follow through and complete this
new spiritual program you have or this virtuos project you've decided to
undertake, youknow. Study it carefully before you start. Master Shantideva is
very adamant. {Matsam nani chokyin no} means, "not starting in the first place is
great", he says. Compared to what? Compared to starting and then pooping
out, It says in the root text, {chok}. {Chok} means what? {Mao cha naro cho ka
chog} "Supreme", he doesn't just say, "better", he says, "supreme". He says, "not
doing it is supreme", in the context of not starting all those virtuous things and
then pooping out. Or not having time to finish them, and never investigating it
before you started. So he says, "Take carefully, look at it and if it's not something
that you can carry through to the end, don't start it. But once you start it,
{Tenpay top}, "Once you start it, never stop." You know, what did he say? Like a
mad dog, just clench on to it and stick with it, until the end, until you die or it's
done. Two, only two choices, you die, or the thing gets done. And just clench on
to it, or you finish it. And you have to have that will power, you have to have
that steadfastness, that once you undertake a virtuous activity, decide that until
you bring it to it's conclusion, you would die before you stop. Okay, and you
have to have that resolution, alright, in you mind. Third one, [unclear] is check it
out before you start and once you start, die before you stop, okay. Say, {kawey
top}, [repeat], {kawey top}, [repeat]. {Kawa} means here, "joy". It also means,
"happiness". It also means "bliss". Here it means, "joy". And Master Shantideva
is very specific about it, he says that the third thing you have to undertake as a
bodhisattva is to, by the way, to undertake deeds on the behalf of all living
beings, you have to have {kawey top}. You have to have all four forces.
Number three is, you have to enjoy it the way a child enjoys a very, very, good
video game. He says, "{chi bo danisem oshin}", you know, means, "Like a child
who is totally engrossed in a game." You know like you've seen them with what
do you call them, Gameboys in the subway, right? And {gawe top}, means that.
Like your totally engrossed in good deeds, in your practice and you're just love
it. And {gawa} means, "you just love it", and you're happy about it and it's like a
kid in the candy store, okay, it's like... and he says it has two qualities. One is
{michepa}, {michepa}, means, "you refuse to take a break". Like mom says, "time
for dinner". You know and you say, "I'm not eating tonight, you know and I
gotta get to the end of this game" And it's like, be, be, have such a good time
about your practice that you don't want to stop. You know, like I'm sorry, if
somebody says, "Let's go do something else." You say, "No, no, I can't stop for a
minute you know, I've just gotta do this, this is very, very much pleasure for
me." and then the second part is, {mingomba}, {mingomba} means, "insatiable",
okay. "Insatiable", like you finish one game and you're ready to start another
one, you know and you just can't you stay up all night, it's like the internet or
something, you know or the web. Like you're just so into it that you'll stay up all
night because you're so into it, like you finish one thing and then you want to do
another thing and then you want to do another thing.                  It says, you're,
bodhisattvas are supposed to be busy.              There's this conflict between the
Hinayana ideal and the Mahayana ideal. I mean, the Hinayana ideal is, "Go sit in
a monastery ten miles from the nearest town, devote yourself to sitting quietly
and then don't do too much. And then the Shantideva, the Mahayana is,
"insatiable". {Mingomba}, you know, go for it and once you're into one virtuous
thing assuming you can handle it go on to the other one, do another one, do
another one, do another one and don't stop. You know, just do it all night long.
If you can do it all night long, do it all night long. And help other people, go for
it, help other people. Does that mean that you shouldn't go to a monastery and
sit there and meditate? No. Because that's one of the things that you're
supposed to be doing, that's one of the games that you can be insatiable about.
So yeah, three year retreat is, is insatiable. I also want ot do a three year
reiterate on top of all that stuff I'm doing, I'm also gonna do a three year retreat,
but you have to be like insatiable. You have to have a big appetite, a bodhisattva
appetite, like you're virtue, your heart is bigger than your stomach? Or, I don't
know, but you can't get enough and you keep making up new things that you
can do for people assuming that you can handle it and if you can't handle it,
you're supposed to slow down. That's the, the Buddha prohibited you from
doing it and hurting yourself you know, but keep expanding at a rate that you
can handle. And be {mingomba}, and have a good time about it and never, you
know, don't stop, except when? Number four. Say, {dorway top}, [repeat],
{dorway top}, [repeat]. {Dorwa} is a little bit of a bad word, like to throw away
garbage is called {dorwa}. To , to give up your Buddhism is called, "{dorwa}".
But this {dorwa}, is a good {dorwa}, this {dorwa}, means, I call it the force of
leaving off, leaving off. The force of leaving off. And what it mean is, as a
bodhisattva, it's your responsibility, and your duty, to know when you're tired,
when you've go to a point physically, or mentally, when you're not strong
anymore you're physically tired out or you're mentally tired out and if you went
further you would hurt yourself. You know and you see that, you see people
who do one more sadhana at night and they fall asleep ant night or they get
crazy or they do twenty bad deeds the next day because they're tired out. Part
of the Bodhisattvas way of life is to know when you're tired and to rest. You
know, to rest when the time comes to rest and to rest wisely, you know. But this
is the fourth force, you know, to know what your limits are. Because you will
often see that goo people, who push themselves too hard in the Dharma, they
end up just quitting, you now, and I've seen it many times. Rinpoche is very
strong about it you know, we have seen it many times over the last twenty,
twenty-five years, you know somebody goes gung ho about Dharma and they
tire themselves out and then they just quit, they quit everything and that's a big
danger. So a bodhisattva has to know, okay, I'm getting tired. If I go another
half hour, I'm gonna start to get cranky at one of the nuns, or something, and so
maybe I better slow down, you know, maybe I better take a rest now, you
know maybe I better go home early tonight and not stay up all night and maybe
I better sleep tonight. It's wiser for me to sleep tonight, I'll be more use to
people, I'll be more of a bodhisattva if I go home and get some rest tonight, you
know or if I go out and have a nice meal somewhere. You know, there's a time
for everything and there's a time to rest and refresh yourself. You can really call
it the force of refreshing yourself, really. But it's, it's to know when to {dorwa},
you know when to give up, when to take your rest, okay. Master Shantideva
says, he doesn't leave it there, and he says, "By the way, go home, get a rest and
then you better get your ass of the bed and get back to work", [laughs]. He's,
h{e's very... he doesn't leave it there, he says, "You also have to know when to
get back up and start working again, you know, okay, And he says, "And you
better jump up out of your bed and go back to your Dharma stuff." you know,
he doesn't' leave it with relaxing. He says, "relax the right amount of time and
then jump back up and do your bodhisattva stuff." Okay let's see if we ant to do
one more. [silence] There's a, we'll go for about three more minutes and then
take a break, there's a Sutra called, {Dorje Gyaltsen gyi Do}. {Dorje} means
what? Diamonds, please. {Do}, means "stone", and {je}, means, the "Lord", or the
king. King of stones is the diamond, of course. And {gyaltsen}, means, "victory
banner". Victory banner means, like in the old days when the Nepalese attacked
the Tibetans and captured Gyangtse, you know they would put up this big gold,
silk, thing and march around the city and show off. You know, "We beat you."
And this one says diamond, diamond victory banner. There's a sutra called that,
okay. And in that banner, in that sutra, Master Shantideva quotes the sutra, he
says, "You should act like they say in this sutra." He says, "You should act, you
should bring things to a conclusion in the way that they mention in that sutra,
you should gain..." What is that? Get closure? "Get closure on your good
activities the way they describe in that sutra and it's some kind of, it's called
{ngagyel}. Say, {ngagyel}, [repeat], {ngagyel}, [repeat]. {Nga} means? "Me", "I".
{Gya} means, {gyel}, which means, "king". {Ngagyel} means, "I'm the king". And
it's the Tibetan word for pride. It also means confidence. And as in English it can
go either way. Pride is a bad thing. Confidence is a good thing. Confidence
allows you to bring your virtues to a successful closure, you know confidence is
what you need to get over the obstacles that are going to come to you. Any
time that you do a good deed and the bigger it is, the worse it is, you will get
obstacles. It's the nature of those deeds. The more powerful those good deeds
get you can bet, you can expect, you can wait, it will come, dangerous major
obstacles, you know bad things will happen, physical problems, social problem,
you know problems in your group. People will attack you. The more powerful
the virtue you are doing, you can count on bad things happening and you have
to be ready for them. {Ngagyel}, is that. {Ngagyel} is like, "I don't give a ...., you
know, I'm gonna take it to the end. It's just some kind of tough guy, you know,
Clint Eastwood thing. Alright, as Rinpoche would say. Dirty Harry is actually
what he would say. And, and you have to have guts. You have to be like, "I'm
gonna be a tough guy, and I'm gonna bring this to conclusion. What's that got to
do with the sutra? In the sutra they say, "Picture the sun coming up." Okay, so
picture the sun coming up. And now picture, you can picture Manhattan, okay.
And imagine two, imagine three conditions in Manhattan, okay? One person is
standing in a big open space in Central Park. Okay, one person is standing there.
And then there is another person who is blind, the person is blind okay. And
there is another person down where I used to work, on Sixth Avenue between
forty-third and forty-fifth. There's all these like twenty story building, so
imagine these three possibilities. That's what the sutra says. You know and it's
talking in terms on mountains, but I think skyscrapers are okay. So there's a
blind guy, there's somebody standing on Sixth Avenue between forty-third and
forty-fifth. And then there's somebody standing out in a big field in Central Park.
And the sun is coming up, the sun is coming up. And so the blind guy says
what? I don't see anything, yeah, It's warm, but visually, he doesn't se any, he
doesn't see any glorious shining rays, he doesn't see anything. And then there's
this guy on forty-third street and sixth avenue and the buildings are blocking the
sun. He wasn't smart enough to get down to Central Park. He has positioned
himself in a place where the sun can reach him. So he can sit there and kavetch
about, or complain about not getting any tan, but it's his fault because he's
standing in a bad place. Is it the sun's fault? I mean, the sun is very democratic, I
mean, the sun is shining, the sun's nature is shining, the sun doesn't know about
how to do anything else. The sun's nature and the suns job is shining so maybe
if your stupid enough to stand under the skyscraper then you're not gonna get
any sun. Or if you are blind then that's your problem. The sun is shining all the
time and the guy who is standing in Central Park ins going to get a big dose of
sunshine. And that's what the sutra says. And then the sutra says, what's this
got to do with the bodhisattvas finishing up things, it says, bodhisattvas shine
their activity. Those six actions, you know giving excetera. Morality, patience
effort meditation, wisdom, excetera. You know all these activities, bodhisattvas
are always shining, they are always doing these things. There are certain people
who won't get it. There is a certain percentage of people who just won't get it,
you know, they'll say, "This gut is crazy, this guy looks stupid, this guy is naive,
this guy is off his rocker, you know. A certain amount of people just won't get it
and you, you'll meet them. And you can do your bodhisattva activity towards
them and they'll either get angry, or turned off or confused and they'll say, I
don't understand what you're doing, you know, I, I don't like what you're doing.
They are like the blind man and the man standing, because of the problem with
them, the sun won't it them, the sunlight won't touch them. But the bodhisattvas
are like, their nature is to shine. And maybe you're blind, and maybe you can't
see what they're doing or maybe even scared be what they're doing or maybe
you're turned off by what they're doing, but they are shining all the time and
they don't start feeling bad, you know the sun doesn't go, "Oh, my gosh, you
know, somebody down there can't see me or you know, that guy is hiding
under that sky scraper, oh I feel so bad, maybe I should quit. I mean,
bodhisattvas just shine and they recognize the fact that a certain percentage of
the people won't get it, and they don't get discouraged and they go ahead to the
end. The sun will go to the east to the western horizon, for twelve hours,
shining, you know, he's like not going to stop because some guy, some stupid
guy is standing under this big building and he's not gonna stop because some
guy doesn't have eyes to see the sun. You know, he's unstoppable, you know
he's gonna make his trip across the sky no matter either way. And whoever is
{minba}, {minba} means who ever is ready, you know, any...[cut]

And whoever is {minba}, {minba}, means, "whoever is ready", you know any,
any, disciple who is ready to receive those teachings, or ready to accept those
things and ready to understand those things, they will get the sunlight. And so
he doesn't get discouraged by ones who can't or even by ones who might
negatively react to that. It's, it's okay, I'm shining, okay. Yeah, one quick
question because we got to take...

student: [unclear]

They don't... He said, "Why don't they emanate in a way that they would reach
the person?" They are always emanating to peak performance level. Okay, a
bodhisattva is always acting to peak performance level and a Buddha. In other
words, they are acting in a way, which is as close to what the person can
understand as, as is exists, but some people just don't have the karma to see it.
You know, if you have lousy karma and the Dalai Lama walks in this room and
gives an overwhelming lecture about compassion, you'll get bored. And you'll
say, "Why is this guy you know, his English is pretty bad you know", and, and
you'll focus on his English or something and you just won't get it, you know,
that's bad karma. And he can't, there's only a point to which they can, they can
reach you. And they will, by the way. If there is some crazy guy, whose
handicapped and mentally retarded and everything else, a Buddha does go to
them as a dog or as some friend, other alcoholic, you know, walking around the
street and befriend hem and say nice things to them, and they push them on a
little bit further , but they are not fit to say anything else and that's their quality.
It's actually not their choice, it's your karma. The restriction is created by your
karma, not by them, okay. If you're blind or you are standing under the
building that's not their fault. They do their best to shine and some people just
won't get it. And don't be discouraged when they don't, Tasha? Okay, you were
yawning, [laughs]. Okay take a break and come back in ten minutes, okay. I, I
like, the next verse is one of my most favorite ones, I'll, I'll read it to you and
then I'll gloss it quickly. {Daknyi chi bu chawa she, dine legye ngagyel nyi,
nyomong wangme jikten di, rang dun drubar minyu te, droway daktu minya te,
dewey dakki gyi ja-o} Which means, {daknyi chi bu chawa she, daknyi chibu
chawa she} means, "If I have to , I'll do it myself." Okay, if I have to, I'll do it
myself. {Dine lekye ngagyel ni}, this is confidence, this is confidence about
Dharma activity, and the point is this. And the commentary is very short cause it
doesn't need much commentary. The commentary says, "If you see something
which is valuable, in a Dharma sense, then go fro it, and if nobody helps you,
that's fine. Okay, I mean you have to have some kind of confidence that, if no
one else ever helps me at all, I don't care. I decided this is virtuous, I decided this
is the most effective way of reaching enlightenment and if other people don't
want to help me or even cause me trouble about it, it's okay. I, according to my
study, according to all I know, according to all I've learned, this is the right thing
to do and if the whole world arose, it's called, {hla dang mi lang nya lang}, even if
the whole world with it's whole humans, gods and demigods rose against you
and said, "Not only will we not help you, but we think you're a fool." Or, "We
think this is really bad and we are going to try to stop you". Just go ahead and
do it. You know, if they stick you up on a cross and nail things in your hands,
okay. You know but this is the right thing to do. I will do the right thing to do
and I don't care if nobody in the world helps me or not. And your Dharma
practice has to reach that point. There will come a time in your practice that you
will have to make this decision. And I'm not saying that' it's just a possibility, I'm
saying that there will come a time that there will be all on your own. I think
ultimately, it's almost definite that there will come a day in your practice where
you have to separate from the world and you say, "Look, I know you don't care
about those things, or I know you're not interested in these things, but this is
necessary to do for enlightenment and I don't, it's okay if no one else cares about
it. And it's okay if no one else is interested. And it's okay if no one else can go
with me it's okay, I'll do it. You know 'I've decided to do it. And just be
{Ngagyel}, that's confidence, okay. And you have to reach that point, there will
come a time in your own personal practice that you will have to go on your own
and towards a virtuous object. I think, I used to run, long long ago, [laughs].
And it dawned on me one day, that if I kept waiting for my roommate to wake
up, I would never be able to run well. I mean there comes a point in exercise or
in learning a sport, or learning to dance or learning anything that takes allot of
discipline. There comes a point where you realize you have to do it your self,
you know you can't wait for other people to help you, you can't wait for the
Teacher, you can't wait for your other students, you can't wait for a friend. If it's
gonna be done, you're gonna do it on your own. And it gets a little lonely, but
it's what, it's you know it's what you should do and you just have to have that
confidence, okay? And, and I believe that in the path between now and your
enlightenment it will certainly come a time when it dawn on you that maybe no
one else in the world is even interested in these things, you know. It doesn't
mean that you shouldn't do it. You must go on and do it. You must go ahead
and do it. You have to be self motivating. And you have to have the confidence
to stick it out, okay. Then Master Shantideva says, "{nyomong wangme jikten
di.}". "The world, the whole world is at the mercy of their mental afflictions, the
whole world is laboring under the merciless control of mental afflictions.
{Rangdun drupar minye pe}. "People in the world are not even capable of doing
the things that they need to do to take care of themselves, okay, much less other
people. Like I mean a normal person in samsara, doesn't even know the right
things to do to make themselves happy, muchless some one else. What? Are
you going to stand around and wait for these people? You know, are you gonna
wait for them? They can't even take care of themselves. They don't even know
the right thing to do today or this morning, you know. And you're gonna wait
around, your bodhisattva work is going to wait around for these people? You
know, get on it, get with it, get on with it. They're not gonna help you and
probably they're gonna obstruct you. And probably they'll attack you at some
point and you just have to be confident in what you are doing. You have to say,
"What I am doing is valuable, if no one wants to support me, if no one wants to
helps me, I am helping sentient beings, I am doing what I have learned from
scripture and from practice and from Lamas kindness is the best way to reach
enlightenment and to help other people and if no one else thinks so, that's
alright. I, I will go ahead by myself." And, and I think it will come to each
person here at some point on the spiritual path, you will have to make that kind
of decision and it's making that kind of decision that allows you to reach
Buddhahood, I think. You know it's that resolution that gives you enough good
karma to allow you to go over the top. You know, I think it's like that.
{Drelway daktu minyu te, dewey dakki di ja-o}, "People don't know how to take
care of themselves, so I have to do it, it's up to me, and I will do it." And, and
you're gonna have to reach thins point, no one in my whole life, you know,
nobody, cares about the all things that I care about. They just don't care about it,
they don't think it's important. No one in my family, no one at work, even the
people that I know that are Dharma practitioners, they don't really care enough
about this thins to devote themselves to it and to put all their effort into it. So,
what am I going to do? Wait for them? And there comes a point where you
don't wait for them and you don't wait, and you don't feel constrained by that.
And particularly in your practice, there's a hierarchy of practices, there's {lam kyi
rimba}, there's the {lam rim}, There's certain steps that you have to go through,
you know there's so many steps that you have to go through. There's step
number one, step number two and you go up the ladder. And if you're serious
you have to get to the top, you have to go for it. And there's a whole bunch of
people who never go past the first or second step and then there is people who
try really hard and get close to the top and then for some reason there is some
kind of mental block there. You know, there are described practices that you
must do to reach enlightenment is this life, and you must devote your life to
them and you must have the courage to go for it, but there's some kind of
mental thing where they stop, you know and they, they want to spend the rest
of their time doing something which is comfortable and not as virtuous. And,
and it's definitely not going to take them to enlightenment, within this lifetime,
within this month or within this year, or something, like that. And when that
point comes, it takes an extra {ngagyel}, to go ahead. And that's {ngagyel}, in
terms of the secret teachings. Okay and you have to learn that. There is a whole
other {ngagyel}. And when you reach that point you have to go for that too.
And if you hesitate, or if you doubt yourself or you're waiting for other people
to, to come with you, you might not do it, you might not make it. I think that
there is even a
point in the highest teachings, there is a thing called, {ngagyel} and you, you
have to reach that one too and you gotta not be shy about it, you've gotta have
confidence and then you have to do it. And not to do it is to be, not to do it is a
lack of compassion, you know, to stop close to the top and rest and wait for
other people. And to get those teachings, and not do then is, it means that you
really don't care about those people. You know, because you could reach
enlightenment in this life. You know you could do it. And what it really boils
down to is that you're not thinking of other people, you know, you're taking
your time because you don't feel any, you're actually expressing a willingness to
put up with the suffering of he world, You know, I don't I don't I don't need to
act that fast, you know. But you're just letting other people suffer and in the
mean time other people die. You know I had a good friend die yesterday, a
good friend and he knew about the Dharma he talked about studying the
Dharma, you know, we had plans, you know, we really had plans, we had big
plans. ANd he had big plans, you know and he was gonna do it and he came
and looked at all the course books and said, "I'm gonna do this, you know I am
gonna do it." He died yesterday, it's finished they found his body somewhere. I
still don't know what happened exactly. They're trying to find out where he was
and why he was there and everything. And I remember all the plans we had
and it's over with, you just can't do anything now. You know, okay. Okay,
listen, okay, {siway drudang tre gyur na, kayang kading tabur chu, kelte daknyi
namchung na, tun wa chung wang, ne bar che, shim je tsu wa torwa la, pognney
tabur yudam chi}. I like this, this is a metaphor, you know he's giving a little
story. {Siway dru}, means "A snake that died already", a dead snake. Okay,
{siway dru}. There's this classic competition in scripture between snakes and
gerudas, okay, snakes hate gerudas and gerudas hate snakes. What's a geruda?
A geruda is like a phoenix bird you know, it's like this mythical bird, if you ever
see Indonesian airlines, it's geruda is their thing and it's on the tail of their
airplanes. Geruda is this huge, like this fantastically huge mythical bird, like a
phoenix, I don't know, seventy, eighty foot wing span, and they hate snakes.
And, and they are these powerful birds and whenever you see one in a tanka
you see them with a snake hanging out of their mouth, you know, they like to
attack snakes. And they swoop down, and they snap them like that and they kill
them in the moment. So this is the image of Master Shantideva. He says,
"You're on this road in India, this old dirt road, and there is a dead snake there,
and then this crow shows p and sees the dead snake and says, "I'm gonna play
geruda today", you know and he goes, "grrrr, rrr, ", and he attacks the snake and
the snake id dead already so the snake can't put up much of a fight really. And
this crow is like garudaizing this snake you know, like , "I am a mighty geruda",
you know and he's like playing with this snake and beating up this snake. And
what is the image? The image is don't be wimpy he says, if your effort, if your
guts, if your determination is like the snake then it wouldn't take a geruda to
derail you, a crow could do it. Meaning, you just have some small problem in
your life and your practice is all off track, it's all thrown off track. Like a small
thing happens, you know somebody blows up at you at work and suddenly, all
your practice evaporates. Like if you don't have effort, if you don't enjoy good
deeds, then, then your practice will be like the dead snake and then even the
stupid crow, can come and act like a geruda towards you. You know, beat you
up. Your mental afflictions can beat you up because you're so wimpy, okay. So
he says," You have to get confidence n your practice from the beginning and
hard times will come, hard times will come". And there isn't anyone who got
enlightened without some bad times and you have to get ready for it and you
have to plan for it, you have to anticipate it. The better your practice is going
probably the worse the fall is going to be. You know and it will come, there will
come some very bad times and you have to get strong and get ready for it. And
that's what he's saying, is to get ready. The next verse is, {Ngagyel chen dai
wang min dro, dedak ngagyel dra wang gyur, nyomong ngagyel kir kyi nyi,
nendro ngagyel kir tri ching, mi gadun chompa dang shen gyi say sai, tren dang
nyi len ba, mi du nyam chang dang tamche duri neypar gyur.} This is an
interesting verse. Now Master Shantideva shifts the focus, he says, "I want you
to have confidence, but don't let confidence degenerate into pride." And then he
starts talking about pride. And this is his excuse to talk about pride. So he's been
talking about like having this supreme confidence in yourself and this willingness
to undergo any kind of suffering and pain and to be a tough guy, and to
overcome the tough times. But then he says, "Don't let it degenerate into pride."
That's a much different thing. And then he starts to describe pride and he sort of
describes it in ironic terms. I mean, the reason people feel pride and I can tell
you because it's one of my specialties, is that you think people like you or you're
good at what you do or you're very smart or you're very beautiful, or you're
very strong, or you're very confident or, it doesn't matter, you have some
quality that you believe, sets you apart from other people. The ironic thing is,
says Master Shantideva, "is that if you continue that behavior, it will cause the
opposite." Karmically, it's very ironic, you know, what do you call it? It's very
nasty. It's very bad news that the more pride you get, the bigger the fall will be.
You know, that karmically, if you have pride and if you feel pride it must force
you down to lose all of the good qualities that you're proud about. It's very
interesting. If you're proud about your physical appearance, long enough, it will
destroy your physical appearance. If you are proud about your intellect, long
enough it will destroy your ability to think clearly, it's very interesting. And then
you'll get Lymes disease, you'll get something that will ruin your mind, you
know. And you'll say, "Why did that happen?" You know, if you're proud about
any quality that you have, the karma of being proud s that you loose it. It's very
interesting, let's put it another way around, if you have a quality that you are
proud of, like, maybe I'm not so handsome, but I have a good mind, you know,
and if you're proud about that, if you would like to destroy your good mind, be
proud. That's what the converse is, if you have some quality that you like about
yourself and you want to start it, then start feeling pride about it. And you will
definitely lose it, the karma of that will make you lose it. And then he gives a list
of, things in your homework, okay, he gives along lest of the results of pride
karmically. What does pride do to you, karmically. You don't have to get all of
them, but you should get most of them you... and I'll start doing them in Tibetan,
cause you're gonna need it in Tibetan. {Nyendro} means, "the three lower
realms", {nyendro} means, "the three lower realms". {Nyendrowa}, means, "To
the three lower realms." {Tri} means, "it will drag you kicking", okay, to the
three lower realms. And karmically, if you have enough pride in this life that
you are very arrogant, after you die you will go top the three lower realms, it's a
cause, okay, it's a cause for that. That's one result. They say that even if you
don't go to a lower realm, if you are born a human, and also even in this life,
{yide chom}, {yide chom}, means, {yide}, means, "happiness", you know mental
happiness, happiness of your mind. {Chom}, means, "it will destroy it". You
know, you cannot maintain a strong sense of pride over an extended period of
time without becoming an unhappy person. Period, it ruins your happiness.
You cannot maintain happiness over a long period of time, if you have pride.
Pride will ruin it. Say, {longmu}, [repeat], {tsowa}, [repeat], {longmu}, [repeat],
{tsowa}, [repeat]. {Longmu}, means, "begging", begging for money. {tsowa },
means, "that's how you make your money" It means that if you keep up pride
long enough, it starts to affect your material happiness, but not just your mental
happiness, but it starts to affect your material prosperity. Okay, the stronger
your pride gets and the longer you allow it to go on, it starts to affect your
finances. [laughter] Okay, alright. Very interesting. Especially in the next life
but also in this life. Just generally, if you have pride for long enough it will start
to effect your, your ability to make money, okay. Say, {shenwa}, [repeat],
{kyurpa}, [repeat], {shenwa}, [repeat], {kyurpa}, [r
epeat]. {Shenwa}, means, the "authority of other", or the power of others.
{Gyurpa}, means, that you will become, and what {shenwa gyurpa} means that
you will always be in a positions in life, your life will change. This is talking
about how to create your own samsara. I mean, we're always talking about how
to create your own Buddha Paradise, right? If you want to create your own
Samsara, be proud, and let pride grow in you, and New York, which used to be
kinda okay, it will get worse and worse. And it'll be a hell for you by the time
that you die. {Shenwa gyurpa} means, "you will start to lose authority, you will
always be number two at work, karmically, someone else will always be the
supervisor, karmically, they will always pass you up for promotions, you know,
karmically, you'll never be in control of your life. It will always be someone else
bossing you around, telling you what to do, and if you want to know where that
came from, it's from pride. It's very interesting, from the emotion of thinking
how big you are and how great you are becomes a karmic backlash of, of you
are always in a positions where other people are always calling the shots and
you don't get to. Okay, you meet people who are very frustrated by that and
that's where it comes from, okay, karmically. Say, {shepa}, [repeat], {lenba},
[repeat}. {Shepa lenba} means, just there is no better word in English then
stupid, intellectually. Your intellectual powers will decrease. The longer that you
allow pride to exist in your mind and it starts to destroy your IQ. Seriously, I
mean it's not that it just makes you an arrogant and unpleasant person, it
actually starts to destroy your ability to think and your intelligence. Okay and,
and then especially in this life, but also in the next life and you met people like
that. You know, just the, and ironically, they are often proud about their
intellect. And, and then it's that pride that makes them more and more stupid as
they get older, okay. Say, {suk}, [repeat], {midukpa}, [suk}, [repeat], {midukpa},
[repeat]. {Suk}, in this case means your physical appearance, your physical
appearance, {mi} means, "not". {Duk}, you have to be careful because, {duk}
comes in the word {dukngel} which means, "suffering". But as the adjective
{dupa}, it means to be careful, I warn you, okay, you will translate it completely
backwards someday. {Dukpa} means "beautiful". {Midukpa} means, "ugly". If
you maintain a sense of pride, long enough and if it gets obsessive enough, it
actually makes your face uglier, it actually makes your appearance uglier to
other people, you see. You could be foxy or something but other people start to
see you as ugly, I mean, people see the weirdest things as beautiful. Andy
Warhol art and stuff like that. And then people see, sometimes beautiful things
just strike everybody as, as ugly and that's karma, that's other peoples karma, it's
the karma about being proud about your appearance, is that you will lose that
appearance, it's very interesting. I think Franklin said, "Virtue may not make
you beautiful, but non virtue does make you ugly." You know, [laughs], in this
life. And if you maintain a non virtuous state of mind for long enough, I think
that your face starts to reflect it and people can smell it from your face and when
they look at your face they can immediately detect it, you know and you start to
actually look bad to people, if you keep it up over a long enough period of time,
okay. Say, {nyam chungwa}, [repeat], {nyam chungwa}, [repeat]. Now say,
{nyam chung}, [repeat], {nyamchung}, [repeat]. {Nyam chung} is very coloquial
you know if you want to learn spoken Tibetan, {nyam chung} is very common.
{Nyam chung} is the Tibetan word for, "shy", or "bashful", you know, you come
in a room and you say, "Oh, this guy is really {nyam chung}."                 Yeah,
{nyamchung} also means "modest" in coloquial. In the literary language {nyam
chung wa} means, "you have lost your self confidence", okay, you have low self
esteem or something like that. It's a lack of confidence. You lose your
confidence. And you see this, I think you see it in business. And if a man ever
gets long enough in business, you see, you know, you see people, it's a very
classic cycle in business. They start out with no money, you make more and
more and more, their business takes off and they reach this thing where nothing
they do can go wrong and everything they do hits the market and makes a huge
success and inevitably, just about the time they get very proud, they have this
incredible plummet, you know, I've seen it over and over and over again, and
they come down and nothing they can do is right and ever decision they make is
wrong and then they get {namchung} means "you start to doubt yourself", you
know you start to lose it, you start to lose your confidence and you become like,
you can make decisions any more, you're afraid to take a step you're afraid to
move and so they freeze and then the company goes down faster, you know,
and I've seen it in business allot. It comes from arrogance, it's a direct result of,
you get to a point of arrogance where you start abusing your employees,
abusing other people, and then there's this big drop, you know. Last one,
{nyepa}, [repeat], {shen kyi}, [repeat], {nyepa}, [repeat]. {Shen kyi nyepa} means,
"other people will start to abuse you". Okay, people will start to talk bad about
you, people will start to do things to you physically, verbally, attack you, like
that, {shenkyi nyepa}. And that's a result of arrogance and you've seen it. If a
person stays arrogant long enough. If they have pride long enough, you're
never so intelligent or so beautiful or so muscular that, Bo Jackson, I remember
watching him on TV with Rinpoche and he's this incredible baseball player, you
know. Just bursting with muscles, you know, and then he was going to do
football and baseball at the same time, like the first person to ever do it
professionally, you know. And then he's on al the Nike commercials. You
know, Bo can do everything, there's these jokes, "Bo Jackson can do everything",
you know. And they have him all dressed up in soccer, and he plays soccer, and
then he does base ball and then he does diving, and then he does track and he
was getting really arrogant. Then he broke his hip, he couldn't walk for a long
time and then is was over with. He just couldn't do anything. "Bo couldn't do
anything," you know, [laughter]. And he couldn't walk, and it comes from that,
you know, the arrogance reaches a certain point, pride and then it falls. And all
of these things are karmically related, you can't escape them, if you want to have
pride, the get ready. You will have them, they will come. So he says, you must
distinguish pride, from confidence, you know you must have confidence in your
practice, which means determination and guts to get through the hard times but
don't let it slide down into arrogance or pride or something like that. For those
of you who are not writing the Tibetan, I mean somebody said, why do you
spend so much time on two Hindu gods who don't exist anymore and nobody
believes in them anymore, why do we have to meditate every week, that
nobody even knows about anymore. Well, obviously, it was meant, partly to
cover the big bang theory, and the creator theory. I mean, and then some body
sad to me at lunch you know, "But Americans in New York especially, they don't
go around blaming the big bang or the creator or the boss at work who makes
them mad, so why spend so much time on it? I mean, really, when you're
focusing on your boss who is screaming at you and you're trying to put up with
this person, it's not like you're obsessed with the idea, oh, you know, "God damn
that big bang you know, that created my boss. Or, or this, I'm really sick and
tired of the creator, because I have to face this boss everyday, you know, people
don't normally go to work and whine about the big bang or a creator, you
know. So they said, "Why don't you emphasize, more is class that the normal
American problem is dealing with the source, the true source of the things that
irritate you, the true source of the things that make you angry, is that most
people ever think about it. It's not that we believe, we're so strongly tied into the
idea of a creator that we blame god every morning for our boss. Or that you
blame the physicists and the big bang for, for your boss. Most people are
standing there, with their boss screaming at them and it never occurs to them to
say why am I here in the first place? You know, "Where did this guy ever come
from?" Why did I ever meet this stupid Israeli guy? You know, I was just down
in Howell, New Jersey minding my own business, you know, and then I met this
guy. I mean it was very tenuous, I mean, I saw him for five minutes, we had a
bit of a conversation and then it's sixteen years of suffering with this guy, so, you
know, why? You know, why? Why did I bump into this and that's what
Shantide... that's what you have to meditate on. It's the big question, you know,
where did this guy come from? Why did I bump into this guy? Why five
minutes of conversation causes me sixteen years of getting screamed at, you
know? That's the question. Okay, say, {nyomong}, [repeat], {wangme}, [repeat],
{jikten} [repeat], {di}, [repeat], {rangdun}, [repeat], {minyu}, [repeat], {pe},
[repeat], {drowa}, [repeat], {daktar}, [repeat], {minu}, [repeat], {te}, [repeat],
{dewey, }, [repeat], {dakki}, [repeat], {di ja
-o}, [repeat]. Okay, {nyong mong wang mo jikten}, {jikten}, means, the "the
whole world." {Wang me} means, "they are hopeless, helpless", helpless, okay,
why? {Nyomong}, "mental afflictions", pride, anger, desire , hatred, jealousy,
{nyomong}, okay? Those emotions are making every one in the world helpless,
they don't have any choice, okay, they are totally helpless, okay, they are
controlled by their anger jealousy desire, they are hope..... they can't do
anything else. They are out of control, they can't help it, okay. {Rang dun
druppa}, means, "to do what would be good for themselves, {mi nu}, they can't
do it", they don't know, they're so out of control, they're so pushed around by
their jealousy, their anger, desire, that, that they don't even, they're incapable of
helping themselves, okay. {Drowa dak dang minu te}, means, "If I am able to
learn how to reach enlightenment, okay, then they're not able to do what I'm
able to do. You know, {droway}, means, to other people, {dak dang}, means,
"like me". {Minyu te}, means, "they're not capable of doing what I can do." If you
understand Dharma, if you study Dharma, if you master Dharma. If you start to
create your own Paradise using the Dharma and bring other people there, then
you can do something which other people can't so don't sit around and wait for
them. If they want to come with you, bring them, you know. If they are not
ready, then do it, you know, you can't wait for other people. {Dewey dakki di ja-
o}. So, given that fact, {dewey}, {dakki di ja-o}, "I will do what is necessary", what
ever is necessary, I will do. And don't expect help from other people, it may not
ever come, you can't wait, if you understand Dharma, act on it, and don't wait
for other people, do what you have to do, to create your own enlightenment
and your own paradise and that, from that position, you can best help other
people, but don't wait for other people, they don't even know how to make
themselves happy. So how on the earth are they gonna support you, you know.
Are they gonna go, you know, eighty thousand people go to see the Mets play
on a good day, you know, [laughs], there's eithy people in here. So, you know,
don't wait, you're gonna be waiting for a long time. If you, go ahead, if you
know it's virtuous, if you know it helps other people, do it, do it yourself if you
have to do it, okay. One last thing, [cut]... {drang tsi}, [repeat], {bu tri}, [repeat],
{tsor}, [repeat], {chak pey}, [repeat], {drang tsi}, [repeat]. {Bu}, this is {bu}, I didn't
have time to shave all day. {Bu}, means, "body hair". There's a different word in
Tibetan for this hair, {dra}, this is {dra], this is {bu}. This is {bu}, okay, this is {dra},
alright, such as it is. {Bu tri}, {tri}, means, "a knife", and {bu tri} means, "a razor
blade", okay, {bu tri} means, "a razor blade". {Tso, tso} means, "tooth", but with
reference to a razor blade it means "edge". What do you call it? The edge of a
razor blade, the razors edge. Okay, {bu tri tsor}, means on the razors edge.
{Chakpa} means, "a big glump of something", and {drang tsi} means, "honey",
okay, "honey", and this is such a famous metaphor that I threw it in at the end of
the reading cause it comes at the end of the chapter and you always hear about
it, you always hear about this metaphor . It's the image of a straight razor and
you cover it with honey and then you sit there and you go like this.... And, and
it's the image of a short term happiness, okay, [laughs]. Like for a few seconds
all you taste is the Honey. It's like knowing that there is honey on the edge of
the razor and because you can't control yourself you lick it, knowing that it's
gonna cut you. I mean, knowing that your tongue will be sliced into ribbons.
But because you can stop, you are so attracted to the honey that you're going
like that... And so the whole experience of the honey lasts a few seconds and it's
over with and they say, "{milam tar}". {Milam tar}, means a second later the
experience means nothing. You know, ten seconds after experiencing some
great happiness, it's like a dream. You know, I one time I was having this very
extraordinary dream, I mean I don't think I can go into detail, no, it was really
good, it was like an Angel came down and spread Her wings around me you
know. And it was like, "Oh man." Then somebody made a noise, you know and
I woke up. And I was going to go back in the dream you know, I really wanted
to go back, I really, really wanted to go back. And I laid down very carefully
and I didn't get up and I didn't roll over and I tried to get back in the same
position, and you close you eyes, and as you can imagine, nothing happens at all.
You're just sitting there, you know. And Master Shantideva is always talking
about that, you know, once the dream is over, once you wake up, it's
meaningless. You know, all the leisure you can ever get in this life, on the last
day, it count for nothing, it's worthless. Maybe there is some dim memory of it
you know but then the blade comes, you know, then the razor comes. Like all
the karma that you collected to get those things, comes to you, you know. So
the image is, the honey is sense objects, things you can eat, things you can touch
things you can hear, and then the razor blade is the actions that you do to get
them. Chasing after... especially any negative action. And they say, I just didn't
want you to study the [b: Bodhisattvacharyavatara}, we're done with the effort
chapter, Every one has effort okay? Joy. And you're done with it but you
shouldn't leave it without knowing this image and that's, don't waste your time
on sense objects. Don't waste your time on food, don't waste your time on
music. Don't waste your time on clothing, you know, forget it, it doesn't mean
anything. You know, ten minutes after you have that emotion or that feeling it's
all over with. And if you ever did anything negative to get it, you have to live
with that, that's the razor blade, the razor blade is under it. It just won't make
you happy. The other image of the razor blade is that you can't fill up that desire
for those things, you know. Once you have one good meal, you want another
one. Once you have one pleasant sensory experience, you want another one,
you can never get enough, that's the true razor blade. The true razor blade is
even crueler than bad karma. It's this insatiable desire to keep having it and you
can't fill it. You'll never be able to fill it up and it will just keep torturing you as
you live. So forget sense objects, you know, so if you're in a laundromat and
Stevie Ray Vaughn comes on the radio, listen, it's fun, it's nice, but don't go out
and hurt somebody to get it. You know, don't, don't over eat, to get these little
pleasures and waste your money waste your time and waste your life. You
know, don't forget it. Concentrate on the important things, which is not sense
objects, you know, animals do that. That's okay, very last thing, [laughter], it
always seems to be a little longer. Then Master Shantideva says, "look, don't lose
your awareness." When you go into a restaurant and there's this credible
Mexican food there and you know you have to meditate in half an hour, you
know, control yourself, you know use your Dharma brains.                    And then
somebody says, "But I can't , it's there, it's like my favorite food, you know, and I
know I won't be able to think in half an hour. This happened to me last night,
I'm describing a real thing. I even told my, people sitting next to me, I said, it
was Ragna right. And I said, "Don't let me eat more then five of these chips, you
know." And he's like, "Well you just had six, you know." [laughter] And I'm
like, because I won't be able to, I ruined my meditation that night. Last night.
And you're sitting there and Master Shantideva says, "You can control yourself."
You just need to train yourself. And then other people say, "I can't do it, you
know, it's too subtle." You know, "It only takes me about ten seconds to get
angry at my boss, if you know someone like my lady boss, who can push your
buttons, like expert, perfect, exactly goes for your jugular button, you know,
that's the one button that really bothers you. It seems like some kind of what do
you call it? It seems like some kind of ESP or something like they could read
your mind and they know exactly the thing that would bother you the most and
then they do it, day after day. Then people are saying to Master Shantideva, the
gap between the time that they say it or they do it to me and the time that anger
arises in me, it's too short of a time. You know, you can't expect me to respond
that quickly. I can't turn on my patience that quickly. The lead time is too short,
you know, I can't make the order. There's no way that I can't respond. And then
Master Shantideva, the last thing in the chapter, he say, "Come on, you can do it."
You know, "The human capacity for, for watchfulness or awareness is infinite, it's
unbelievable, you know, you can stop yourself within ten seconds or five
seconds, you can get it down to like, I can respond, my patience will come up
within someone hitting me or something. You know, before I time to hit him
back, my patience is already up and I'm already stopped. He says, he says, "You
do have to capacity." And then he gives a beautiful image, it's very famous and
that's really the last thing. He says, "If somebody puts a bowl in your hand and
they fill it up with oil," like cooking oil, and they say, like, "Okay Tessie, here's a
bowl of cooking oil," and they say, "start here and walk to the door and don't
spill a drop." And they fill it
up to the, you know how the tension, water tension, like it's up, it's up to the
edge and it's a little over the edge and you're like, "Impossible, I can't do it." you
know. And they're like, "you gotta get to the door without spilling a drop." And
you say, "I can't do it, there's no way I can do it." And then they pull a knife out,
like a very, very sharp knife, you know like, what do you call it? One of these,
slit, a switch blade. Switch blade, a very sharp switch blade and they say, "I'll
walk behind you." [laughter] "And if one drop goes out, you're dead, I'll kill
you, I'll kill you, I will really, kill you, I will cut your throat. You know, now see
if you can do it. And it's the image. It's the image at the end of the chapter, he's
saying is, "The human capacity to stay aware is endless, is endless is infinite."
You know, if you really wanted to, if you had the right motivation, you know,
you could watch yourself every second of the day, you would never slip. You
know, a mental affliction would never express itself, you would never yell back
at your boss, you have that capacity, you just don't want to admit it. You know,
put a bowl of cooking oil in your hands and have the guy with the switch blade
walk you to the door, you'll make it, you know, you won't spill a drop. You
know, you won't spill a drop. The human capacity for concentration under the
right incentive is unbelievable, you know, he says, "Check it out". He says, "You
can do it". Or you just don't want to or you don't believe it, you know. You
don't think the odds are that serious, but they are. You know, karmically, if
karma is true then one moment of anger at your boss is worse than somebody
slicing your face with a knife, much worse. The results will be much worse and
you have to get to the point where you believe that, then your awareness will
suddenly improve. You know, Nagarjuna, last thing, okay promise. Nagarjuna
said, "that it is very bad luck, there is one very nasty thing about Samsara, is
when you hurt somebody the karma doesn't come back immediately. People
are always asking me, you know this is my favorite question. You know, can I
kill roaches in my apartment? You know, it's very dear to my heart, [laughs].
And they say, "Is it okay to kill roaches in my apartment, they really bother me,
they make the place dirty, it's dangerous. And I say, "look, imagine as you crush
the roach, that your ribs start to break," and then you ask me this question, you
know, forget philosophy, forget right and wrong, you know forget what you
really want to do which is to get rid of all these stupid little things, because they
are just inconvenient for you. If, if, as you stepped on them, your own ribs
started to break, what would you do? You don't have to ask me. I can't give
you any exception from the laws of karma. You know, I can't say, "The laws of
karma don't apply to you, but they apply to everybody else. They apply to you
and if you step on them, much worse things will happen. If you kill one roach,
much worse things then having your ribs broken will happen. It's just the way it
is. I can't give you an exception from gravity or something. Could you lease
cancel gravity in my apartment next week, you know, it, it's a law of nature that,
what ever arm you do to someone will, will, come back much stronger. So don't
ask me stupid questions like, "Is it okay if you kill roaches, you know." If the
time gap was zero, you wouldn't ask. So it's as if the knife was up to your throat
all the time. And, and you just don't admit it, you don't want to admit it. you
want to do what you want to do. Be as aware in your religious life, in your
spiritual life, you know, keep the amount of awareness that you would have as if
somebody had a knife up to your face. Okay, that's all. Okay, we'll do some
prayers, that's a pleasant... Wait, I'm sorry, one announcement. Yeah, a question,
quick because it's late.

student: [unclear]

I was picking on the idea of a creator god, actually, Master Shantideva was.
Why? is what context? Are we trying to beat the other guys, no. We are trying
to figure out, where did all the things that cause you suffering come from. You
know, who made the traffic jams? Who made your boss? Who made your wife
that you can't stand anymore? Who made them? Where did they come from
and we were analyzing if they could have been created by some guy. And then
one of the arguments was, "If this guy could exist, if he made everything, then
who made him?" It's very simple. And then another question is, if he's eternal or
unchanging, I know what you're asking and I'm coming to it, cause somebody
asked me, somebody told me you were gonna say this. [laughter]. If, if he's
unchanging, then how could he do anything? You know, if you're unchanging
then you can't work six days and take Sunday off, if you are unchanging.
Because on Sunday you would change, okay, so it can't be that. Now what if
they turn it around he's saying, "You Buddhists are always giving this argument
of why the mind is beginningless and you say the mind lasted forever, because
you cannot point to a moment of your consciousness which was not created by a
moment of consciousness immediately preceding it. It takes consciousness, to
make consciousness, therefore consciousness has no beginning.            So you
Buddhists, what if one of these creatorists comes up to you and say, "Our God is
the same as your mind thing." Okay, he, he's eternal and he's changing from
moment to moment, it takes god to make god and he always been there. And
no problem with that okay, that was what the masters say, now what do you do
if someone gives you that argument? [cut]

prayers: [dedication]
970805-1
Geshe Michael Roach
Course XI: Guide to the Bodhisattvas Way of Life, Part II